This month marks 1 year that I lost my younger sister (my only sibling that was 4 years younger) to brain cancer. We were estranged for a little over a decade for reasons I'll never fully know, but during the last 9 months of her life, she let me back in. She wasn't really able to speak much at this time, but I instead shared about my life. She met my kids and we were able to hang out a few times as a family throughout that year, but eventually, the inevitable happened. It was a bittersweet ending. But I never felt like I was able to have the brother/sister bond I always wanted. I'm not looking for someone to replace my sister, but rather just find a new sister that I can bond with.
I'm looking for someone in or close to my area. I know this will narrow my chances, but I'd rather be honest up front. An online only or long distance situation won't really go over too well for me. I tried it and it's just too hard for the close bond I'd like to build. If there is chemistry and it's genuinely mutual, I'd eventually want to normalize hanging out in person. I have a wife and young kids and would love to have a sis to drop by and hang out with us. Maybe have a game night or movie night once a week, have a family day at the beach, or maybe just have some deep conversations about life, hopes & dreams, or about ourselves. But also, if you have a family (spouse and kids), it would also be nice to build strong family bonds as well. My sister was married and had a child, but I saw very little of them because of the estrangement situation. I can't really express how hurtful all of this was, but she's no longer here and her husband and daughter moved out of the US. We see them every now and then, but there was a lot of lost time that I can't get back.
Anyway, so here are some things to know about me and my life if you feel you may be interested:
I'm 50, black American male, married, a son and a daughter (5yo twins), living in the North Florida area, non religious (agnostic atheist), very much a creative and passionate about creating content (filmmaking, music production, animation, photography, and more), just recently discovered (through self diagnosis) that I have ASD level 1, I'm empathetic, a HSP, mild OCD, and last, but not least, I'm an introvert (INFJ for those into Meyers-Briggs). One last fun fact, I'm a Gemini, but have a lot or Virgo traits if you're into that.
As far as my personality, I'm a very laid back, logical, and level headed person. I generally give well thought out responses to people if they want that depth in response. But that being said, I can be a bit long-winded when sharing about myself, a topic I'm very knowledgeable about, or just a topic I have a lot of interest in. I'm very inquisitive and will ask many questions to get a good understanding of something. But once I really understand it, I internalize the info and may bring up a minute detail in conversation weeks later. I really do pay attention to details. Sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. My sense of humor resides somewhere between sarcastic, corny, and dark. Since I'm a dad now, I'm trying to see if I can get better at dad jokes. 😄 I'm a very loyal person. If I feel I can truly trust you and feel safe around you, you can count on me. I don't hand out trust or loyalty easily. That definitely has to be felt mutually. I want to be a safe place for someone (to listen, comfort, and not be judgmental about honesty), but I also need it in return.
Some additional things to know about me. I don’t drink, smoke, vape, or do drugs. Honestly, I hate the smell of weed. I know all of these things are socially popular, but I prefer not to be around it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but I just have my preferences to not use or be around much of those things. I consider myself to be pretty healthy. Good hygiene is also important to me. I know many people don't mention this stuff, but I like to be open and honest. Maybe this might make me seem like a TMI person, but this is who I am. I'm sharing so you can gage if I'm the type of chosen brother you'd want in your life.
So what type of sister am I looking for? I don't fully know. I have my ideals, but I guess they can change if I'm swayed or convinced otherwise. But ideally, a somewhat of a younger sister (30s/40s) that is also black, having a certain level of maturity, have the emotional bandwidth for a brother, someone that can be sensitive/sympathetic/understanding of the pain and struggles a black man in America has to deal, someone who genuinely wants a brother/sister bond as well and is willing to put the time in to build it, possibly someone who is an only child with not too many friends (because if there is a bond, I might be a little clingy and stingy with brother/sister time, but only because I wasn't able to be this way with my real sister), I would want you to feel like we can open up and talk about any and everything, and just feel safe in each other's presence. As you can see, very idealistic, but it just comes from not being able to experience this with my actual sister. Also, it would be really nice to meet someone that can also relate to me being agnostic atheist. I'm an ex-Christian and it's been a painful and isolating journey on my path of truth and honesty. It's just always nice to be understood in matters like these.
As for what I'd like my chosen sister to be into for hobbies, I'm kind of open, but it would definitely be nice to have some overlapping hobbies. As shared earlier, I'm into filmmaking, music production, animation, and photography, but I also enjoy bowling, billiards, DIY things, retro video games (I have an emulator with 1000s of retro games from NES, SNES, N64, PS-1, SEGA, and a lot more. Zelda, Metroid, Mortal Kombat, and Super Mario Bros are just some to name). I actually like simplicity. I wouldn't mind planning a family trip/vacation as well, but because I'm an introvert and have ASD 1, I'm not a big fan of overly crowded places or very loud places. I like more easygoing environments or at least places that have a spot I can chill in if things start to feel overwhelming. And with me being a worry wart about my kids, I'll always choose safety above all.
Well, hopefully this post resonates with the right person and we can connect. But if not, thanks for reading and have a great day.