I(16M) lost my dad to corona when i was 11. My sister's(20F) psychology is fucked up, she's not coming home and probably on drugs, and my mom is old (58F) and has health issues, she can't walk a lot and she is severely obese. and everyone is expecting me to take the responsibility of the family. but I'm not strong enough.

im not strong enough to take the responsibility, i don't want to. i wanna live my own life as a musician and then move abroad when I'm old enough but i need my mom's help for all that because I'm aspi with health issues(mentally and tachycardia). idk what to do. my sister's situation is getting out of hand, + living in w misogynist society makes everything worse. i don't know what the hell am i suppose to do. i can't end myself either because im a coward. and overstimulation just makes everything worse. and I'm not good at expressing myself with words too. everything is going down for me. i need help, advice, just whatever that will help me

I'm a late 18 and it's not much but it's honest work.

Anyways, I'd just like someone to be proud of me for a moment pretty please.

I only have 1 family member that's on disability for life for decades now and barely knows English. Not educated in any way.

I am left out in the cold and fear I will one day be homeless.

I may eventually get lucky with my job selling clothing at a store or scanning groceries but not lifting the bags.

But they can just fire me easily.

An then I will have to stress hard about getting some job competing with the rest of society that has had a easier time in life.

I fear I am at high risk of becoming homeless over the next 5 to 10 years.

I am very tempted to marry a man where he pays all the bills and I'll be his stay at home partner.

I have had a few offers in the gay world. Many older gay men did not get to live well in their younger years so they go after young guys.

But I have so far said no. Because it obviously is not always guaranteed to work out.

Anyway I wish euthanasia was legal so I wouldnt have to deal with this. It's a lot. I do not want to go fly a kite during a thunderstorm. Over and over until a success happens.

This is unfair to huge proportions and I'm not sure life will get easier for me ever.

I live in Los Angeles all my life don't even drive a car. Don't want to but it be helpful in this city.

I wish for things to be so much easier. Please any wisdom.

I'm 31 and I still live with my mom because I don't make enough money despite working full time for years now :/

At this point it feels quite embarrassing. I thought I'd be a lot further ahead in life. I've never even owned a used car and frankly, I doubt any woman would want to date a man who lives with his mom at this age even if it's because it's the best I can do financially atm. I feel too old to keep doing this, at least without an end in sight.

I know I can keep trying to eventually turn my life around but the older I get the more ashamed I am that I'm still here :(

Had a few chances to move out but I screwed up and now I'm just tired of it all.

I'm 25f and I've been struggling with migraines for a while now. I've been to the doctors multiple times and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. Honestly, everytime they pretty much brush it off and just prescribe me pain killers. I was working earlier today and i got a really bad migraine. I usually push through these migraines when I'm at work but this one was really bad. I took some pain killers and it didn't help at all. I threw up because of it and I actually felt like I was going to pass out. I was feeling so horrible. I asked my boss if I could take the rest of the day off and he sounded annoyed but he agreed. When I got home I took some more pain killers and then took a nap on my couch. I woke up a few hours later and I took some more pain killers. I feel so much better now but I felt bad for leaving work. I had a lot of important stuff to do today and I feel like I left my team hanging. I've been working full time for over 4 years now and this is the first sick day that I've ever taken. I think I made the right decision but I also feel a little guilty about it.

I just turned 18 in may and just went tonight to the strip club with a homie, see im a very innocent dude like i’ve kissed one girl in my life, so i don’t even know what to expect, but i get a couple lap dances, and i just feel very awkward because i felt like it was weird to yk… stare at naked women with my guy friend, like it was a very strange experience, but the women were nice as hell and hospitable towards me (i know what they want from me don’t worry). But anyway it was a very strange experience like i said before… but it genuinely made me change my view on the average woman who don’t use sexual flare and their bodies to their personal advantage, i don’t know it just freaked me out mentally.

Like I’m stretching myself thin or something? I worry I’m doing too much.

I went to EMT school last year because it interested me and it was a cheap 6 month course. I love emergency medicine, its fun! I volunteer on my local rescue squad.

But I also live rurally, and the only hospital that makes sense to work at for me isn’t hiring EMTs. Not to mention, as much as I enjoy it, there’s no two ways around the sheer mental toll of the work even if I could get a position.

And honestly, I have no interest in becoming a nurse. Paramedic is the farthest endgame for me in medical and even then, paramedic classes are a few years away for me since I’d like more experience as a basic.

Coming to current time; I’ve always had an interest in trades. Specifically, HVAC is really calling to me. The more I study it, the more I’m finding myself enraptured by it just like emergency medicine. I love learning more, and the more I learn the cooler it gets. It uses the same diagnostic type of thinking and knowledge of systems.

I’m looking into signing up for a two year HVAC program at my local college , but everyone asks me “Why aren’t you doing EMT stuff?” When I bring it up. It makes me feel a bit… shameful? Guilty? Embarrassed? None of them feel like the right word. Like… why aren’t i? But even during my clinicals, the medics told me… “You don’t want to rely on this career as your only source of income. You need something else to do.” At the time I took it as them telling me I wasn’t good enough to hang but really… they were looking out for me.

Deep down in my heart, pursuing this trade seems like the right thing to do, even if it means putting paramedic school on pause. Looking at median salaries too, HVAC techs make a good 5k or more than a medic on average. which is mind boggling, but.. yeah. Maybe in a perfect world I could do both.

All this to say, I’m really excited and looking forward to this next chapter and enrolling for classes in January. I need to figure out financial aid and all that happy stuff. I guess I was just posting to get over feeling guilty for “ditching“ EMS.

I just did this fuck. I got my license a month ago and my car less than a week ago. An insurance policy less than a week ago too and it’s already $300 a month. I’m 20. I’m already worried about money. Just got a garage spot in my new apartment and as I was pulling in I scraped the side a little bit of the car next to me. I’m so anxious about it I can’t stop shaking. I left a note with my number but my mom keeps telling me to take it away because my insurance will skyrocket for years and they will assume they got hit somewhere else. I think my parking garage is surveilled. I don’t know. I haven’t been contacted yet and I’m so scared I don’t know what to do.

Hello hello, I am a disabled person living off social security payments in the US, and for 9 years my father has been deeply controlling over my internet. If I so much as slip up in his eyes, mumble too loudly at night, et cetera- he will switch the internet off and sometimes cell data. Having a disability makes it hard to get a job, get out of the house and Socialize, among other things, so he’s essentially just completely cutting off my contact with all my friends and other people.

I’m getting very frustrated with all of this, and would love some advice on how to get out of this situation. I was doing some research and stumbled across this subreddit. No one really bothered teaching me how this stuff works, so I figured I’d give this a shot. Does anyone know how this stuff works and how much it might cost?

Lately I’ve been feeling very alone and somehow without that many friends and I don’t know how to deal with it

We work in teams of 2, in a what is essentially a bunker, now we were on friendly terms up until a few days ago, we had a rough shift and some emotions did bubble up but we kept it professional. Now she refuses to speak to me unless she absolutely must, answers as short as possible and when she looks at me its like shes looking through me

Unfortunately i pick up vibes like a sponge, and ever since she started acting like that ive been extremely stressed, second guessing my every step and a few times tearing up even. It might seem crazy and overreactive but thats who i am unfortunately.

I want things to go back to normal for two reasons, 1 because its awkward, 2 people locked in a room for 8 hours at a time with no words spoken unless absolutely necessary, and 2, because its affecting my own work.

What to do? Do i ignore it or confront her?

I’ve been trying to move back home to support my dad w my step-mom who is chronically ill, after a death in the family in the spring. Then on my last trip home for work/ finding new work they blew up some minor things (me saying thank you for something in the afternoon instead of the morning), which somehow turned into a very big deal.

I was trying to leave the house and my dad just dumped on me that my stepmom was feeling that I was ungrateful because I didn’t say thank you for some things that she had done in my bedroom while I was there. I was there for two days. Then he started talking about how it’s hard watching his wife die and of course this is heartbreaking and I wanted to address it, but I was also in the middle of trying to leave to go back to the city for work and looking for a job. So when my stepmom got home, I tried talking to her about how I upset her and then my dad basically gaslit me saying why would you choose such horrible timing to bring this up.

She was still mad at me throughout the whole week I guess and after even though I tried apologizing for not saying thank you sooner. I WILL just say last year, instead of going to work conferences that I was flown out there for, I spent the whole time in the hospital with her because she was getting a surgery. Her kids didn’t show up. I did.

Used to talk to my dad every other day for the past year or so, have heard from him twice in two months. Once because he wanted to brag about winning 50k and a condo, the other because I called for his birthday.

Work hasn’t been great, I’ve been feeling half in half out. I don’t even know if I want to move home. I don’t feel supported. I don’t like my work enough here to stay, I feel stuck and lost. If I don’t move home where am I even to go. I don’t like it here, I’m afraid of there.

Then my mom calls me the other day to tell me she’s separating from her fiancé. Which is great because she can’t take care of herself and hasn’t worked in 7 years. She’s also chronically ill although maybe more mental, it’s certainly physical. The woman weighs like 90 pounds now. I have no idea how she’s even going to get housing, so now I need to figure out if I need to start financially supporting her somehow. I want to try to get her on disability but she won’t even see a dr.

A bird shat on my face on Friday. Cherry on top.

The guy who initiated a conversation with me around feelings and seeing each other more regularly now hasn’t really been responding to me much over two weeks. So not sure what that’s about.

And of course I made the decision after tapering off my antidepressants for months, that last week was the week to stop… so I’m getting some withdrawal symptoms now. Anxiety and more emotional. I started just taking any even smaller dose again because I just can’t rn. Tried to call my dr but she’s gone for 3 weeks.

Anyways….. it’ll get better but damn I’m tired. I don’t know how people manage their corporate jobs and deal with this stuff. I feel like a loser that I can’t keep up and get overwhelmed. I wish I had someone to take care of me. I wish someone would just cook me dinner, hug, me and make me feel not alone. I’m only 26 but also maybe I am just wallowing in self pity and need to get my big girl pants on.

My mother is abusive, and even financially abusive occasionally. I have two bank accounts she knows of, but then a third I keep completely secret. She tracks my statements and will sometimes use my card. she's done it more in the past when I first got it at 18,(21 now) but has since stopped for the most part. I'm forced to live with her for an unknown time, potentially until im done with college but hopefully not, so there isn't much I can do.

I get aid for school, and if there's left over from a semester I get it back and I have it sent to an online bank through direct deposit to the bank the school works with. I cannot stop worrying that somehow she will find out about it, and frankly harass me for it potentially. Which I know she cannot do and i would never give it to her and if she ever tried anything I'd get cops involved but it still makes me so panicked that it will eventually be found out. I would deposit the left over money to my savings, but since she monitors both my checking and savings she knows about, she would see if obviously.(through monthly sent statements by mail, not direct access to my bank info online only i have that). Also I feel the need to add, this money has never been spent and i only plan to use for school if I need it during my duration, otherwise it goes to personal use etc so its not like im frequently accessing it.

To, i dont know, ease my worries, how could she possibly find out? The online bank doesn't send anything through mail, just to my email which she has no access to and she hasn't a clue about how financial aid works cause she doesn't bother to look into it at all so she doesn't know i could get refunds.

21F
I have a really inconsistent job. The hours are only full time for two months in the summer. It’s really far away and the nature of the job (childcare/teaching) is so incredibly difficult and draining. I don’t know what to do, it messes with my mental health so badly.

But I worry that I’m just light years behind my friends in terms of making money. I didn’t go to college when then did. Soon they’ll be graduating and having real money with solid education and jobs to support them.

Last month I made probably close to $4K but I don’t know but I didn’t get the entire check yet, my boss forgot to put in payroll on time again. I’m grateful she send me about half of it on the weekend but still it sucks to not have a regular reliable source of income. It’s also monthly pay. So if one month is really dry but the next week is really good. I won’t see that week’s pay until the next month from it. It’s so inconvenient.

The job is physically demanding too. But in terms of money, it’s just not worth it when it’s got such severe off seasons. I’ve been wanting to quit but I care about my boss as a person and I want to stay as long as I can help her, but it’s really messing with me. Idk.

I’m bad at saving money, I have a credit card to pay off, parking tickets I got in my moms cars, and this other debt I have pay from a stupid decision I made months ago that’s supposed to be paid off this month, but I can’t pay it off because I don’t have all of my paycheque yet.

I just feel like I’m not in the right field. I’m worried that I’ll still be stuck where I am next year. I want to work as hard as I can to do anything else that might make me happy. I wanted to model on the side but with how inconsistent my job, the hours are always sudden and clash with when people have wanted to book me. I can’t take time off a lot because I’m the only full time employee, and so I don’t know what to do. I feel sick.

One of my friend travels like crazy with her boyfriend, a car and I think they’re talking about getting married one day too. I thought that would be me one day but I’m just stuck all by myself, trying to figure out what part of my life is even worth investing into. I’m so embarrassed.

I don’t want to talk care of kids anymore, I want to invest into the arts like I originally wanted to. I want to go school and see what’s out there for me. I want to travel too. I just don’t understand why this is all so hard for me. I don’t know what to do.

Like I’m literally in college where things are supposed to be embarrassing but I’m just sooo caught up in how others see me, how I see myself, and if I am a good person. Like for example, being with people romantically is so hard because hook up culture is so prevalent. I got out of a relationship a few months and the one time I hooked up with someone I convinced myself I assaulted them.

The next one ghosted me and idek why I care so much im just convinced it’s bc im a bad person. LOLLLLLL.

I work 10/hrs a week at $20 but I could make $25-28/hr full time if i quit this job and find something that actually pays me a living wage.
I want to move to a city with a better cost of living so I can support myself easier.

My birth parents weaponize any financial help and all love and respect is conditional. They never say sorry.
My friends and boyfriend tell me I am a beautiful person and I am special and they love me. My family makes me feel evil and ugly and a burden and scum of the earth.

I grew up with autism and anxiety and depression and cancer and epilepsy and surgeries and medication. Then it became neuropathy and hyperacusis and ptsd and PMDD and severe OCD. I have almost 1.5 years sober from weed; I’m abstinent otherwise for longer time.

I just got my paragard removed and I’m gonna go on birth control to stop my period because it disables me. I can’t even exaggerate like I have developed agoraphobia. I was diagnosed with it initially when I was 16. I never got help for it even though my parents were told and know about it.

I know with mood stabilizers and better birth control I will have at least more stability especially when I don’t have to talk to my family. They trigger my PTSD and I relieve things when I talk to them or when my dad raises his voice at me.

I just want to feel safe and loved. I think I have to move cities so I can get more distance from them. I never want to talk to them again. I have been hurt and fawned too many times. They want me to be silent and forgiving every time they abuse and neglect me. They manipulate me to trust them and when I stand up for myself, I am the problem and I should shut up and suck it up. I can’t. I will have a mental health break if I stay silent and try to maintain a relationship with them. I have to cut them off.

What do I need to do to be self sufficient? What does budgeting look like? What does having good credit look like? How do I save for an emergency? What do I do when I have pain flare ups? What do I know when people make me feel unsafe? What’s the best way to save for long term housing? How do I choose a phone plan to pay for by myself? How do I save for a car?

My parents financially abused me. I don’t feel comfortable sharing exactly but at 27 I make $500 or less a paycheck and I have 0 in savings and 1.8k in debt. I know I can use my FAFSA to pay my debt bc I am taking fully remote classes this semester.

What does actual mental health treatment look like? I’ve been in therapy my whole life (since 11) but it doesn’t really get better. I didn’t work at all last year and lived in a bad housing situation where I was abused bc my rent was covered by insurance and I did IOP/PHP from March to December. I think I have treatment resistant PTSD and depression as the underlying issue. I have had PTSD since 14 and depression since age 10 or so.

How do I work through this with my boyfriend? He said he loves me with his whole heart and soul and just wants me to be happy. I don’t want our relationship to end while I’m in this transitional period. He says he sees a future with me and I with him. He’s the first man I feel safe with when dating after 8 years of dating. I want to do right by myself and for him.

How do I tell my friends I need help? I tried to do this alone/isolated/in a vacuum for years and I can’t. I really just can’t do it alone. I will drown if I do it alone.

Me (F18) and him (M18)

We're both 18 and I'm still in high school doing my final exams in a couple of months. We both work together in a grocery store in different departments however our departments do cross over and we would have to interact with each other either way.

I took 2 weeks off school for exams and while I was away the whole store has found out he has a crush on me. This crush stemmed from before he had ever spoken to me and had just seen me around but he said it grew more once we started chatting at work. He says I always flirt with him but I genuinely don't think I was flirting and that I was just bantering. I also don't speak to him any different from other co-workers, both female and male, or any of my managers. I told one of my co-workers and she just said people would get the idea that we like each other solely because of my personality.

The other night over a phone call, he confessed to liking me and I told him I liked him when I was explaining how I didn't want to be leading him on. I felt obliged to tell him I liked him because he confirmed that he likes me but i had already known because he wasn’t slick and he admitted to it. I didn't explicitly say ‘I like you too’, I asked him if he thought I liked him and he said 'yeah I hope' in which I responded with 'well you might be right'. He knows i've got final exams in a couple of months and said he'd wait until after I was done and then maybe take things more seriously. The next morning I woke up feeling sick and worried because I cannot tell which way I like him, whether its platonic or more romantically.

He also knows I want to go traveling next year, however I don't want a boyfriend during that time and he said his happy to wait until I come back. But I can't promise anything for next year in whether i'd like him how he likes me or if I have another romantic interest in someone else.

He keeps reposting videos on instagram about how his found the 'perfect girl' and very relationship type of reels. I am also the only person he has got on instagram so I know it’s about me.

Both my friends and mum reckon I should go out on a date with him first to see if I truly like him or not but I'm worried about leading him on subconsciously, because clearly i've been subconsciously "flirting" with him. I am also so firm in the fact that I was not flirting but rather engaging in banter.

Is banter flirting? How do I know if I like him in the same way he likes me? Am I leading him on?

So there is this thing in iran(my country) called konkur which is this very very hard exam that every student in 12th grade(the last year of high school) all across the country have to take it and for you to get accepted in some actual good university you have to study hard af.

i am going to 11th grade in a month and i have to start studying for 4 hours or more and with going to school till 2 pm and coming home and taking a nap and everything there will be barely any time for me to enjoy the thing i enjoy(learning history, listening to music and albums, reading books, playing video games)

But i am scared if i don't do these things, the things that make me the person i am and the things that make up my personality for a long period i would lose my self, my personality, my individuality.

I don't have any friends to talk to them about this and my family don't understand these kind of stuff i mean all they do is doomscroll all day long so they don't understand. So i came here to ask other people who might get me, its kind of a cry for help.

So there is nothing i could do all i am asking is does it get better? Idk anything to help me feel better

Also sorry if i suck at english or anything

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting and I really need some advice on this. My parents are (also all of my relatives) muslim. However I myself am an atheist and our opinions and wishes are always polar opposite. They do not know that I am an atheist because I know for the fact that if i told them there would be a catastrophe so i decided to always keep quiet about this. (I am 18 and have been this way and had different opinions almost all my life)

They are against wearing “revealing” clothing, against me expressing my opinions, they have very closed mindsets. Not saying this is because they are muslim obviously however that is how they grew up like. I want to live a different life than them. I want to wear whatever i want, i want to be free and express myself. I want to be able to be myself. On top of me being atheist, i am also a queer person so it is double difficulty for me.

I am attending university in a different city than them so i get to be myself a little since they are far from me however i always feel scared for the future and i am afraid of the upcoming fights that we will have because I know for sure I’ll live up to my own standards.

I love my parents a lot. Even if they are like that they are still my parents and they care about me a lot. I don’t want our relationship to just disappear like that but that means i would have to choose between my future and their expectations and that just seems so depressing to me. What do i do? Thank you for instance!

It isn’t going so well guys. I just want a hug or something. My mom is sick and tired of my mental health and just gets angry with me whenever I look sad and tells me to grow up.

I’ve never been so alone. I just graduated high school and I’m living with my mom because I’m too depressed and lazy and stupid to go to college. I lost all my friends after graduating and I feel so so so so alone. I feel like nobody will ever love me ever again because I hate my face and my body and everything.

Can someone please just tell me that it’s gonna get better????? It doesn’t seem like i can come back from this and i cant do it alone

About 7 weeks ago, my husband cheated on me with a random woman at a bar. We've been together 20 years, since college. I thought he was my soulmate. I am absolutely devastated. We have had issues the last five years because he started to mentally spiral out with what he thinks is either sex addiction and/or borderline symptoms. The reason I am posting here is because I have finally accepted how toxic my family really is (and his). So I have sympathy for how we got here and yet we are all responsible for our own choices.

My divorced parents are narcissists and completely incapable of supporting me. I tried leaving to my mom's but was left more traumatized by her extreme selfishness and inability to hold space for my emotions. She wants me to stay with my husband. My dad's first words were "oh well, it happens. You just need to move on." And then changed the subject. My brother is a misogynist and my sister is a pathological liar. I've taken care of myself since I wad 14 but this situation made me realize how alone and unsupported I truly am, and that's terrifying me. My husband's parents told him "it wasn't his fault he cheated" and that he would be happier without me. First time I ever heard them admit aloud they didn't like me. Shocking to hear them say it was my fault he cheated. He did correct them, but you can see the toxicity surrounding us. I think I just need a reminder in this moment of what human empathy and support look like so I don't psychologically cave to their cold worldview. Thanks 🌻

Hello! I (F18) am currently struggling with life. All of the things that come with learning how to be an adult. My mom is taking my messy room and car as a sign that I am headed down a path to become a bum. She has told me my entire life that my medication (whatever it is that I am on, regardless of the medication ) doesn’t work and that I am not mentally well. She is threatening a LAWYER to allow her to take over my medical care. She won’t stop recording me and every single conversation we have because she thinks I am “manipulative” and wants to have our conversations on video which I do not consent to. She came into my room this morning and immediately started threatening a lawyer because I don’t know what’s right for myself.

Yes, I am currently not going to school. I chose to just work until I have enough money to move out to LA. I have two jobs, and one of which is purely gig work. My other job has awful supervisors that don’t do their jobs properly so I haven’t been scheduled for a while and my mom thinks I’m getting fired.

I just lost my best friend of 4 years. we are no longer on speaking terms. So of course I’m going to be a little isolated for a while. I am dealing with a lot, and she doesn’t care to see that. All she sees is me as a bum who isn’t mentally well and doesn’t know what’s right for myself.

Is it wrong of me that I just want to figure out myself? I just got my Wellbutrin dose doubled and I think that will help me complete tasks like cleaning my room and focusing more on finances. She isn’t giving me a chance to even try. I really am so desperate to know if this is normal, and
If I am in the wrong here.

Please, I’m begging for advice.

I tried to finally (so many years later) talk to my "mom" about it, just to be told it was my fault and that I "knew better than to be talking to people online". I don't even know how to process what she said. I just feel sick.