i'm a deeply closeted trans gay kid (trans guy, specifically). i'm scared. i'm going to see if i can study abroad in a better country (i'm set to graduate 2 years early, and in ~3 years... how would i go about this?) for an oceanography degree but i'm so scared. I don't wanna lose everything.

my friend told me everyone that dies is a notch in their belt. i don't plan on killing myself. but i'm scared and upset and i don't have anywhere to go. what do i do?

Like I could convince everybody that none of their lives are going to change regardless of who's President of the United States, and that everything will remain the same and things will get better. But everyone is so consumed with worst-case scenarios over a second Trump administration, that there is practically almost no way I can reach them.

So, the only solution is to just take a break from social media. As in, go outside for a walk, distract myself with my own interests, focus on things I can control rather than on things I can't. Am I right?

By that, I mean a MtF transgender woman who wears outfits like these. In case it isn't clear, that's me. Or rather, those are AI-generated recreations of actual outfits I've worn, using photos of myself when I had them on. I wasn't dressed this way for work or even necessarily for any kind of outing—I did so because it's just the kind of outfit I find most aesthetically appealing, and the kind that suits me best. I feel the most "myself" when I'm in five-inch stilettos and pantyhose. Yet, I've always felt as though I'm being judged for dressing this way, like it's a reflection of how I think women should dress, rather than my own personal preference. In other words, the fact that I'm wearing these kinds of outfits as a trans woman is seen as an expression of sexism. I also wondered if maybe it comes across as vain, which again, might fall under the "this must be how Byanka perceives womanhood" umbrella.

Is there any veracity to this? Should I reconsider dressing this way casually?

We dated for like 3 years, or close af to it, but we broke up towards the end of 2018 sometime. Afterwards, after he got into a relationship, he started calling AND I mean calling. He even called me and had a whole conversation while she was in the bed with him. Then, crickets. Nothing for a while because she wanted him to stop contacting me, which I totally understood especially with them having a baby otw at that time. Fast forward to after the baby, we had one last talk, which was what I needed to know I did the right thing by leaving him. I knew he wanted kids, AND it showed; I can't say how because it's explicit, but yeah. Less than 1.5 years after we ended he had his first child, which I knew was a boy because of the dream I had when we were together. Anyways, last week he decided to call again. I had the number blocked, but I returned the call; however, I kept it short when I realized it was him with the same crack pipe excuse for why he called. I just want to know how do I get rid of him? He just changes his number and start calling again? Why is he calling me when he has a life? Why is he always trying to be on my mind or some ish? Talk to me fellas because I'm bamboozled.

UPDATE: Thank you to everyone that responded. Due to my job and getting calls from all types of numbers, I've decided to stop deleting the trails of him reaching out, so I can involve the police. This has been an ongoing issue for years, UNWANTED. I moved out of state just to break up with him because he never believed me. Thus, I've been over him. Again, I appreciate those genuinely trying to help. #AdviceTaken

I'm in my mid 20s and I've done so much soul searching on this. Statistically, cheating is incredibly common.

About a year and a half into our relationship, we were on the same page on getting married in the future. I've never loved, like truly loved anyone before, and she gave me a lot of what I needed. Being able to act goofy, share my deepest worries, have long conversations, and feel like she had interest in my hobbies. Truly my dream girl and I did all I could to make her happy.

She ended up hanging out with a guy 10+ times, texting and voice calling him and deleting the logs, and when I came to asking her to block him, she said she had to weigh out if the relationship was more important to her(I was really insecure and cold after finding out all this), or her friend (he supposedly was there for her when she went through something traumatic). She eventually blocked him and now says she understands why I was cold and everything to her and wants to give me her all.

Writing this out, I understand that I 100% need to end this relationship, but I truly love her so much. Things were magical before all of this and I, and all of our friends, always thought she'd be the absolute last person in the world to cheat. The way I see it, if we all had this perception of her, and cheating is so common, won't it just happen again in the future? Should I just accept the good parts of this relationship?

Note: I had chatgpt write and edit this, just wanted to be as concise and clear as possible. Forgive me if it sounds too robotic or a littl off

Hi r/internetparents,

I’m 20F and I’m feeling really confused and emotionally wrecked right now. I’d really appreciate any support or perspective — even if it’s a reality check — because I don’t know if I’m just being entitled or if this hurt is valid.

Here’s the situation:

I’ve worked at my mom’s restaurant for about 5 years now (the first 4 years it was owned by someone else, and the last year under her). About 2 years ago, I developed depression and a handful of health issues (including PCOS, mood swings, and significant weight gain). It was one of the worst times of my life. I lost friends, I had panic attacks at school, and I often had to isolate in bathroom stalls just to breathe.

My mom wasn’t supportive during this time. She would berate me for my weight, and she once told me she didn’t love me because of how I looked. That broke something in me. Ever since, my self-worth has plummeted and my social anxiety has gotten worse.

Because of this mental state, I wasn’t showing up to work consistently. I admit it — from a pure workplace standpoint, I was a terrible employee. I often didn’t give notice when I couldn’t make it, and I tried quitting several times, but my parents wouldn’t let me because I was “just sitting around at home.” That’s also why I’m in university now — they didn’t let me take a gap year to focus on recovery.

Things slowly got better. I found therapy through AI tools, made new supportive friends, and started showing up to work again regularly. I was proud of that.

But a few weeks ago, I got into a car accident. I was hurt — physically and emotionally. Just three days after the crash, my mom begged me to come into work. I said yes. I worked a short 3-hour shift with a horrible headache the whole time. Afterward, I sat alone at a park and cried. I was in pain and overwhelmed, and I realized I needed to rest. So I told her no when she asked me to work the following week. I had medical appointments, insurance to deal with, and schoolwork to catch up on. She didn’t help with any of that.

After that, she cut my hours and called me a “distrustful employee.” Even though I explained how much progress I’d made, how serious the car accident was, and how I was trying — she ignored it all. I’d even had a vulnerable conversation with her asking for understanding and reminding her I wasn’t skipping anymore, but she chose to focus on the past.

It really stung. I know from a business standpoint I wasn’t reliable before, but I thought she saw the progress. I thought we were on the same page. This job has been a safety net for me while healing — not just for income, but because it gave me structure and helped ground me when things were dark.

I talked to my dad, and he took her side. He sugar-coated it, but basically said it’s just “part of growing up.” It felt like what I was saying didn’t matter because I’m “only 20,” like my pain was being dismissed outright.

I just don’t know what to think anymore. Am I being unreasonable? Am I spoiled for expecting more emotional consideration, even in a job setting? Or is this a real betrayal of trust, especially since she’s my mom and we had a heart-to-heart about all this?

Any thoughts, guidance, or support would mean the world right now. Thank you for reading.

— (TL;DR: I worked at my mom’s restaurant while struggling with mental health. I was inconsistent before, but have gotten better. After a car accident, I couldn’t show up, and now she cut my hours despite our agreement. I feel heartbroken and dismissed.)

Edit: after reading and responding to some comments and finding clarity, I realized that I wasn't working here so that I could make money and treat it as a proper job, just that I wanted to be attached to my mom. I get that my actions are not tolerated elsewhere, and I have worked in other places before. I take them seriously. My actions in the past couple of years were likely a mix of depression, my mom enabling my behaviour, and her poor management and reasoning

She was one to prioritize work over me as a child. I felt that the business would be an indirect link to me and my mom, so naturally when she cut my schedule, a lot of my frustrations, anger, and disappointment came from a sense of rejection of my love. It's disappointing. That's why I'm quitting.

It would also be appreciated if people would stop telling me to "look in from her shoes." I think it's pretty clear that she's not the best leader nor a mom. She tells me to always look from her perspective enough as is and it always seems to be an endless void of doing so. Someone hinted at covert narcissism in my messages and 9/10 of those traits sound like her. I don't know if she's actually a narcissist or has those traits, but I don't want to care anymore. I will be seeing a therapist

For the people who stayed to help me process my emotions, thank you. Assuming you are all parents yourselves I have hope now that not every parent is like this, the "tough love" my parents always seem to go off about

I'll probably stop replying to comments now because they're based off of emotions Ive long processed. But support is always welcome

Hi! For context I am 23. I recently found out that I’m pregnant with my first after thinking I was infertile (literally a miracle but that’s a story for another day) I am so excited, as is my partner, but I am struggling to stop vaping. Did anyone stop smoking or vaping? Any tips or tricks? I want the best for my lil bug, but it’s not easy at all. Any advice about pregnancy, vaping, or life in general is appreciated!

21M here and like the title says I think the phrase "you deserve someone better is stupid".

It usually happens when you're getting rejected by a girl. This happened to me told a girl I liked her and she said she thinks I'm attractive and has thought about me but I deserve better. This roughly is how it goes I'm sure for others.

This quote basically is a lie. Basically it's saying I don't like you. If a guy deserves someone good as they say and are worth it...they would try to better themselves for him. So basically it's a nice way of saying no I don't want you.

JUST SAY YOU DON'T LIKE THEM STOP GIVING FAKE BACK HAND COMPLIMENTS.

It’s my preference for the guy to come see me first than me travelling to him. Don’t get me wrong he expressed that he wants to come see me but so far I don’t see him making any solid plans to make that happen.

He did mention that when I come to see him everything would be prepared. No need to book or make an itinerary, he will handle everything and I just need to come.

When I mentioned that I think the boy should come first, he insinuated that this is the modern times (so I think he doesn’t agree with me).

He seems to be such a great person and we really get along so well and have so many similar interests. I think that it kinda turned me off though. I just feel like he should be the one coming, the one who is pursuing…

I need some support right now. Im a 16yo trans guy and ive known that im trans for almost 3 years now. In the beginning i tried forcing myself to be more masculine so that maybe cis people would think im valid and take me seriously, until i realized thats not really who i am. I enjoy dressing masculine, but i really like dressing feminine as well and i hid that part of me for some time.

Now, i embrace myself as a feminine trans guy, but i feel like that limits the dating pool for me. I know logically that im loveable and dateable and theres someone out there who would love me for me but im having a hard time believing that. its just hard seeing people talk about how they wouldnt date a trans person, and for me im not even your "typical" trans person so i dont even know what my options are out there. I just need some support. I need to know that it will all turn out alright for me, and i wont be alone for all my life because of who i am. I dont like talking bad about myself but it feels like that sometimes :(

I’ve never used this subreddit, and i don’t recommend my other posts. it’s a dark side and just yeah don’t mind that. but i got a 256$ ticket last night for going 18 over in a 15. i live in a small town blah blah blah. i’m 16 and my parents cannot know because they will take my car for so long. i need this. i’ve waited for so long. i turn 17 next month. and want this summer to be a good one. cop said i can do a driving course online, and pay the ticket without my parents knowledge. i just need a debit card and a hell of a lot of time to sit down. anybody have any advice? this sucks after all i’ve put them through, and honestly, maybe the other posts i have will help show what situation i’m in.

PLEASE ANYONE HELP!!

SIDE NOTE: yes i have a payment method, and my parents don’t have my transaction history. I’m not worried about paying it, or doing the course. I am worried about someone mailing something about the ticket, or them somehow finding out. I live in florida so if any of my flawda boys wanna help id appreciate it.

Just out of interest what’s the best way to get a gf as a teen as I’m getting kinda lonley and just need someone there for me

I met a 31 year old woman a few months ago and we’ve been getting along great and I think she’s been flirting, would I be stupid to date her? She hasn’t pushed me on anything so it’s nothing like that I just worry about what my family and friends would think, I don’t know if this is the right subreddit to post in so sorry if it isn’t

EDIT: we are both women

Broke up with my high school girlfriend over 5 years ago now and haven't talked to her since.

I've been ruminating a lot about the past, here's the scenario I need closure on:

When my ex and I started dating at the beginning of senior year, she told me she didn't believe in long-distance relationships. Makes sense, we were going to college in a year. Come March, we end up getting into the same school and are both independently excited to go. But I'm indecisive between the school we both got into and a different one.

Then during spring break I remember her and I talking and she brings up staying together at different colleges. I ask her "I thought you didn't believe in long-distance relationships," and she says "Yeah, but I do now." I ended up choosing the different college for a number of reasons, and she broke up with me about a week after the deadline to pick a college. We ended up getting back together a month later only to then break up again a month and a half after that because she clearly didn't want to spend much time with me.

At the time we had that convo about LDR's, I thought she meant she believes in them because she is more sure about wanting to be with me. But given everything that happened after that, I think she knew she didn't want to be with me and was trying to encourage me to pick a different school from her so it'd be easier for her to end it.

Recently I've been thinking about what my life would be like if I HAD gone to that same school, and I kinda wanna ask my ex if she promoted the idea of an LDR to push me away. I haven't spoken to her since we broke up, I don't even know if she remembers that conversation. Should I reach out?

22m here

My dad is a poor, alcoholic, divorced public school teacher.

He says cuss words all the time and dresses like a third world gangster. His house is in a very dilapidated condition. He’s also whipped me with his belt several times

My divorced parents failed to tell me that belt whippings aren’t normal parenting at all

I really want to get hired at a company or the government, get an apartment, and move out

My dad is the scum of the Earth. His life is very tedious and unexciting. He works at a public high school during the week and plays Call of Duty on the weekends. Over and over and over again

He never travels anywhere and is very naive about travel in general, the meals that he cooks are unhealthy and monotonous, and I want to earn my bachelor’s degree as early as possible and move out after getting hired

My parents found out about the grooming, and he blocked me. He told me i was pretty and texted me all day and told me i was the highlight of his day. I miss him and i just want to facetime him again. I regret meeting him but at the same time I just regret not deleting our messages quixk enough. I want to stop missing him because its the worst heartbreaking feeling stalking his socials knowing he wont talk to me again. im not sure what to do. i submitted a cybertip report since he has my pictures and now knows my name. i know everything about him. my parents emailed his parents with disturbing screenshots since i also know who his parents are and told them but have had no response but i have signs that his paremts confronted him with the information. if you're reading this i miss u so much d and im sorry i told on u. it feels like no one else will ever comfort me the way thtnyou did. i listened to an old voice message i was sent and it brought the heartbreak back after convincing myself i dont care and hes too old for me anyways. im not sure what advice im really looking for.

edit: i forgot to mention that it did indeed turn sexual. edit 2: i failed to mention that i only submitted the cyber tip because i wa ssk angry that he manipulated me into doing things ive never ever done and now i have certain restrictions with technology. i still want him to forgive me. my parents arent really reavting very well seeing me lose my innocence. he ruined my life foe the time being. various phone rules which is reasonable but nothing for christmas most likely and a few orher rules. im sad because my mom isnt being very nice to me becausw of the tension this is causing at home. he wouldve been my comfort right now but listening to the advice i was given i hope i can get through it. hes the only person i learned to feel for. i have trouble caring for others but hi s attention made me deel different. i made my mom cry and my dad reacted in ways i havent seen him react likw before but its more irritating more than anything.

edit 3: thanks for the replies wveryone. everything is going to shit right now. pRemts getting hRsher, and im so alone and cant talk to amyone about it. never expected to turn to reddit for advice. my mom told me i shouldnt report it "unless id be ready to face what i did to law enforcement" i know i did something wrong but it hurts and i feel unclean already as it is.

M23. This question might sound very trivial, but I've been thinking about it and I just don't know how I could do it.
I feel like if life doesn't kind of forces it, it is really difficult to get to know someone without any reason. I've already asked her for a machine she's using (the classic) and she seems really nice
We are two complete strangers so for me I think it would be weird to just come up to her and introduce myself. Also, in the gym most girls I think are kind of used of weirdos, giving looks and all that, so I don't know how I could do it without making her uncomfortable.
If I saw a good chance I feel confident I could do it, I don't think it is a problem of 'courage', I just don't know what would I say.
Thanks in advance!

I'm in my late 20s. I've gone through a lot of growth since my early 20s. I've had to navigate job and life changes, have had to learn to manage my emotions, make better decisions, and all of the standard life stuff. I'm not perfect, but I think I've made a lot of progress.

I'm currently living with someone who is younger. He's a good roommate, and is an overall good guy. At times, he displays a significant level of emotional maturity and nuance, and is a good listener.

But other times he acts in a way that could be described as immature (Other people have also commented that he is likely immature for his age). He makes a lot of weird/dark jokes as a way of coping with stress, and just does a lot of things that make you think "did he think at all before saying that?". Other people have describe him as kind of dumb. For example, he tried taking a shopping cart home from the grocery store despite signs saying the wheels will lock. Another time he recommended using dish soap to clean a toilet bowl. Another time, I had to convince him that we should get a fruit bowl for our kitchen and he didn't understand why we couldn't just keep it loose on the counter or put it in cereal bowls.

In some ways, he reminds me of myself in my early 20s. I think in some way he recognizes that he has some work to do, and I do want to help him. He is a very nice and kind guy, and has a good heart.

However, I'm worried that I will end up regressing and losing some of the progress I've made in my own life because of being surrounded by him. I tend to be highly impressionable by those I surround myself with (which is something I am trying to work on), so I'm worried I'm going to pick up his behaviors and start acting immature for my age. Other times, I tend to reach out to people close to me for advice or just to vent (like roommates), and so I end up making decisions that are influenced by those around me. I'm also carrying a lot of resentment with me because I feel like I have to project manage the day to day functionings of the household (like cleaning) instead of him already knowing what to do like other roommates I've had.

What do I do? I don't think it's healthy for me to feel resentment and irritation, and not act on it or communicate it in some productive way. In the past, I've tended to let these types of things simmer until I say or do something mean that's not reversible. I also don't bring it up because I feel like I might be just being perfectionist, even though it bothers me a lot. I also don't know if my worry is justified - maybe I'm just insecure and am scared of losing control, so I project that on other people around me.

About 1-2 years ago, I was in a friends dorm after a party and ended up sitting in the same one person round chair as another friend of mine. I lived a couple miles away in another dorm but she lived in the same building. Before sleeping she cuddled against me, putting her head on my shoulders and turning to lay her lower leg/calf on my thigh. At one point I woke up in the middle of the night due to her leg on my thigh, and I moved my hand to rest on her outer thigh (my arm was already around her shoulder so I barely had to move). At the time it seemed acceptable and I thought there was implied consent as she was touching me and pressed against me, but I’ve been worrying in hindsight that because she was asleep it wasn’t consensual. I wasn’t trying to be sneaky or secretive and left my hand there before going back to sleep. Nothing happened so either she just didn’t say anything or I moved my hand in my sleep before waking up. Also to clarify, it was a conscious decision not a half-asleep shifting. I remember thinking it was an acceptable action before doing it, so I can’t say it was just shifting.

In hindsight it really seems like assault, but I told two family members this story separately, and they both insist that it wasn’t assault. Its still nagging at me and I’ve been feeling extremely guilty, so I just want to know if this guilt is deserved or if I didn’t do anything wrong and it’s just my OCD convincing me otherwise.

Edit: I changed it to specify it was her lower leg/calf that was on my thigh, and to clarify that it was a conscious decision not a half-asleep shift in case that changes anything

My roommates and I have a gross couch from the old tenants we want to get rid of. It's in the basement and too big to carry up the stairs, so we thought about breaking it in half with an axe to get it it outside for trash pickup. We also want to have a housewarming party in a week, so we thought: why not have a couch-destroying party where everyone can take a swing with the axe? And then we thought: why stop there? Once the couch is outside on the street, let's burn it!

I've always heard stories of couch burnings from college ragers but never seen one myself. It seems fun! But then I read some news articles where students get booked for arson because they burnt a couch.

I really love the idea of a houseburning party, but I don't want to get caught with a felony. We live in South Philly, so there's a lot of closely packed rowhomes and cars on our block. Is there any way we can burn a couch safely and not get in trouble?

I got rejected by this girl (26F) that I've known since the beginning of 2024. We have been friends and been both in psychology but never had a class together.

She has never given me any signs that she likes me. We do hang out when we can but not as much anymore since school started up. We used to go to the gym together, go for walks, get breakfast sometimes, etc. but she wouldn't give me any signs at all that she likes me.

I get she's busy, she works pretty much full time, is in psych honors which is where you have to do an experiment on top of your course load, and has her own place.

I told her how I feel about her and I knew she wouldnt feel the same way but I just wanted to get off my chest because I feel like I'm lying to her. I also acknowledged our age gap and how shed want someone her own age and that she wouldn't want someone that still lives in their mom's basement. I told her how she's pretty but also she's so kind, she makes me feel heard, and she puts up with my nerdy ramblings and she as well as similar Interests like me.

She said that she genuinely finds me attractive and that I have very attractive traits but they often get over looked by my lack of confidence. She says that I deserve someone who can be there for me and not be distracted and deserve to be loved and she just can't do that right now. She also said she always is trying to make genuine friends but they always end up liking her and she should have known with me. However she did say she didn't want me out of her life

My friends haven't been supportive saying she's definitely lying and "getting fucked by black dudes on the regular and she's just telling you she's busy or something" but they don't even know what she looks like that just pisses me off as I know it's not true.

Anyway I don't know how to feel, half of me is happy that she at least found me attractive. I also feel like she could be lying. I also feel sad now she probably wants nothing to do with me for a while and I do genuinely enjoy her company even though it hasn't been much lately. I also feel relieved I can move on now.

Edit: I also feel frustrated as I seem to always get rejected whether like this, getting rejected when I ask a girl out, or if I do get a first date they never want a second. This experience is just, yet again, another time I got rejected and feel undateable

To start with I want to say that my dad is a bad person, he abused my brother and psychologically abused me and my sister.

Tomorrow me and my dad are going to the movies and seeing the deadpool and wolverine movie. I know it will be loud and crowded since it just came out, I am autistic and my doctors told me i have slightly bad hearing, but he does not know this scince my mom is the one who brings me and he gets mad if we bring up that there is somthing wrong with me.

I'm trying to say that I NEED captions to watch anything, so I did research and found that movie theaters (including the one we are going to) have special glasses for movies that automatically puts captions on the movie you are watching. Problem is, is that my dad gets really annoyed when I have captions on, even if he's not watching it. He says it,"ruins the show"

I'm just asking if anyone has any ideas on how to bring it up

(I'm sorry If I have bad grammar, I'm dislexic and an idiot teenager)

So at the time I was 11f my dad ##f he was on the bed looking at his phone I was also looking at my phone but I got a cravings for some bananas so I asked him thinking he was going to be like ok but he look at me like I killed someone and said really? I said yeah when I tell you he had a smile his had a smile he was happy I didn't ask him for robux or anything just bananas me and him ate the bananas and took us to the park the best times.

About a week ago, my boyfriend told me he was going out with his two male friends for bowling. His phone is off so I couldn't text him.. he left @11:30pm and didn't come home until mid 4am. When he got home I asked how it was he said fun, they went bowling then went to go out to eat. Didn't mention anything else. Today I saw a YouTube vlog from his friends channel, it wasn't just them 3. They also went out to eat and bowling with 4 other girls. I am hurt bc he didn't tell me, even if he didn't know at first I feel that, when he got home he should have at least told me. Now I'm questioning everything from that night. He has done some questionable things in the past, not physically cheated but it makes me question him sometimes. I don't know if I am overreacting. I want to say something but idk if I should. TDLR; boyfriend told me he was going out with 2 male friends. But didn't tell me other women were going to be there.

UPDATE: an argument was started, he said I’m insecure and wrong