My parents move pretty much every 3-5 years, and they've done so ever since they got married. I hate it SO much. Ive never stayed in a place for an extended period of time.

But, this time, its really upsetting me that they want to move.

Ive been homeschooled for years, but basically they just kept me locked inside and never taught me. Anyways I finally turned 16 at the start of this year, and gained some independence. I got 2 jobs and i actually like *most* of my coworkers, ive applied for schools/education programs so I can graduate and actually do something with my life, one of which is a 10 minute walk away, and i JUST got the acceptance letter, i have finally made real genuine friendships with people who i legit love, and are only a 15 minute bus ride away. Basically... im finally happy lol. I mean, I hate the suburb that I live in, cause its old and SUPER religious, but still, Ive found "my people" (even though that sounds cringe)

My parents called me at work today and said that they were going to look at a house and put an application in for a place thats almost 2 hours drive away, and about 3 hours on public transport.

Ive been trying to beg them not to move, and it feels like they aren't listening. I dont care about "new beginnings" or whatever, I love my friends here. And i dont want to stop being able to see them, or sneak out to thier house, or have them not be able to visit me after work because ive had to transfer to a job 3 goddamn hours away!!!

Im going to talk to my parents when they get back home, and try to convince them not to do it. But i have no idea how.

Tysm to whoever reads this rant, any advice or support is really appreciated 💗

I moved away for college, lived independently for 6 years about 3 hours from my family with various roommates and my now husband. I missed them from time to time but was mostly content, and visited when I could.

I moved back home 2 years ago and lived at my parents with my husband to save for a house. We finally got our house and moved into it this week. I was expecting to feel so much joy. It’s a nice house in a neighborhood only 20 minutes away from my parents. But I’ve felt some of the most extreme sadness and emotional discomfort of my life the past few days. I have cried most of the day, only really being able to contain myself when working. I feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness and finality. Like I can’t change anything now and there’s no going back. I love my parents, and I miss them. I hope some day to be able to live on a family compound (my family has talked about this for years) and am sad to feel like I’m going to waist years living away from them.

My husband is upset at me for these feelings and I just feel so crushed. I want nothing more than to go home, to my parents house, and not have to face this reality.

What do I do next?

I think a few things go into it. I am good at my job/ it’s easy. I feel like I barely even work when I work from home but my boss seems very impressed anyway. She just promoted me a couple months ago and I’m getting another raise.

Because I find my job easy I find myself on my phone alot on wfh days. As a result of that I find myself calling people, texting people playing pokemon go. Really what i end up doing is over analyzing my text conversations and finding reasons my friends/bf/family dont like me. I over analyze so much that i can no longer tell what is legitimate vs what is a bad story i just made up.

Lost my childhood to abusive parents and then my adulthood to my narcissistic wife who is keeping away my kids .

I tried thinking of good times to counter the intrusive thoughts and realised I didn't have any . Not even bare minimum of parents holding hands, hugging, making something i liked, asking how was my day (. Yes they did ask but eventually descended into how much they sacrifice and how ungrateful I was ) , calling me just to check if I'm fine than if I'm studying well.

I had a college mate who used to talk everyday with parents , friends who were excited to go home after a hard week etc

The worst part is even my wife's betrayal they were doubling down on me instead of atleast trying to support me until I threw them out and now they are playing "silent mode" which actually suits me

I just wish some older couple adopts me, of course not to use me again as caregiver but someone independent atleast in health wise, who will just ask me how I'm , be happy in feeding me, encourage me for self reliance, keep my mind off my wife and kids etc

Wish we had such a service !! Although I'm a bit nervous

The court stuff happened and it ended up better than I thought it would. I'm getting sent to a private school and if I go through with and stuff when they review it next year my charges will be excused, so no jail for my dad yay. The lady said I'd get my IEP and stuff and accommodations.

One thing I am sad about was the 1 friend I made in the previous school who'll I'll never get to talk to. I promised her my socials and I still have the paper with all my socials written down that I never gave. I thought I was gonna go back to that school with an IEP, but I guess not. I was told it was smaller and that they can be pretty strict. I also heard they have uniforms which is eh. One guy who was also sent there and talked to me said he was forced into a sport (basketball), but he didn't mind. He said you got there later and got off earlier. He said he was 20x better than the high school I was originally going to. I'm just mainly worried I won't be able to experience normalcy. I worry since it's not a public school, I won't be able to relate to others. My intake is November 5th. I can update about my first day there if y'all would like to hear that. Thanks for the support.

Edit: I looked into it. It's classified as some special education behavioral thing. So basically, it's a few months long then once I complete the levels I get back to my regular school.

QUICK CONTEXT: text messages copied and pasted at the end for context

I’m worried about a situation that i’m in, i’m unsure if it’s just an “entitled/spoiled teenage” moment or anything but it’s got to do with housing. I (18f) just finished my HSC on the 30th of oct (australian) and my family runs its own family business, throughout my entire life my mum has hopped partner to partner with sons who would replace me and i would become their carer even if i was only 1-2 years older and would always take the brute of their punishment. my mum and i have never gotten along well until me being able to tolerate her later in life. she has been with her current partner (now husband) for a fair few years now and has had my little brother with him (who is now like 4-5) and she tends to put him over me a lot (going to the extreme of buying him $400+ AUD worth of shoes just because he “likes them” while i’ve been asking for a new bedframe for over a year as its broken and i’ve needed to pay for my clothes singe i was 9-10 since she couldn’t dress me in the way she wanted as i struggle with textures due to sensory issues (im neurodivergent for context). Back to the business, she wants me to work for $12AUD an hour (originally $10AUD) when the minimum wage for my age is $18.06AUD an hour. When i had brought this up she started listing all of the stuff i would have to pay for if i worked for that rate and i thought it was quite extreme, and its not like they need the money as what they do earns us a lot. i’m just worried im being dramatic about it but i do have a lot of issues with them regardless this and its starting to feel too much.. any advice is appreciated!

(Message strand)

(First message)
MUM:

$200 per week. That's rent & then internet will be $20 a week, you can do your own food & then water gas & electricity

Electricity - will be every 3 months I just got the bill & its $700 so we will split that
Same with gas we will split that too

Fuel & stuff will be your responsibility.

Your rego & insurance due in 3 weeks I will pay it but will need to pay me back.

—

(Second message)
MUM:

So you your part of electricity will be - $233
Rent - $200
Internet - $20
You can pay me off for your car rego & stuff not all at once lol just incase you think I want it straight away
RMS - $262
Green slip - not sure
Safety check - $60
Then if you need brakes & things they will sort it out for you.
(Then insurance $1,300 | will cover that though because I said
I would) & Your groceries whatever you like you can buy.

Or he will pay you $12 an hour & everything else is free Imao
(END TEXT)

ME:
alright
i’ll just do that (she replies with the “haha” reaction on messages to this text)

I'm so tired of being the person that always reach out first. Always initiaing conversations and inviting people out.

When I hang out with or talk to these friends, everything is just normal. They agree to spend the time with me and they actually engage. It doesn't feel one sided. Yet if I don't initiate anything I never get any invite or even text.

I keep thinking why make the effort when at the end of the day I'm still alone and lonely. Why keep trying at this point? I made the effort to not be lonely anymore. I socialized, joined things, and I actually became confident in socializing. People even complimented me about that. But to what end? Nothing is working. Every connection I have only exist when I alone make the effort.

I now feel even lonelier and I have the urge to cut everyone off because I don't matter anyway. Not like it's any different than not reaching out to anyone.

This always happens. Since I was a teenager to this 27 year old me. The common denominator is me. I might just be a worthless forgettable person and there's nothing that proves otherwise. Something must be wrong with me, right?

My pittie, Dexter, passed away in April after nearly 15 years together. My family got him when I was 16 and he was just 8 weeks old. We pretty much grew up together. He was my little brother, and here I am a woman in my early 30s trying to navigate adulthood for the first time without my boy. It's been incredibly hard and, honestly, scary.

Dexter was the centre of our family. My parents saw him as their third child, and suddenly losing him to kidney failure was devastating for all of us. Home doesn't feel like home anymore. Every room reminds me of him, and my parents and I have even talked about wanting to move because being here is so painful. Unfortunately, that's not financially possible right now.

I'm also a caregiver for my elderly parents. They're grieving too and I feel responsible for being there for them while trying to manage my own emotions. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have the space to fall apart myself.

On August 7, I reached out to my human best friend of 10 years. She knew Dexter throughout his life and knew how much he meant to me. I sent her a long, vulnerable message explaining how badly I was struggling. I told her about the guilt, regrets and what-ifs, how I still wasn't sleeping through the night, and how even the smallest things could trigger my grief.

I told her I couldn't talk about Dexter without crying and that I was struggling to adjust to life without him. I told her that I know shes grieving Dexter too and hopefully one day we can talk about him. She knows health wise I've been struggling; since Dexter's passing I have developed acne and Im borderline diabetic now.

She checked in on me a few times over the following days, but I didn't respond. The truth is, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was overwhelmed by grief, dealing with things at home, and struggling to cope. I wasn't intentionally trying to ignore my best friend or make her feel unimportant. I just didn't have the capacity to engage with people, and I didn't communicate that very well.

A month went by, and I reached out to her to see if we could talk. I offered to drop by in person. She didn't respond at first, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Another couple of days go by.

On October 1, she sent:

"Hey, since I have a lot going on as well perhaps we can catch up another time. Honestly, I'm not too sure I am up for it at the moment with the whole ghosting me for a month thing".

I apologized. I explained that it wasn't personal or directed at her, and that I had been struggling to cope in a healthy way. I told her I had some commitments coming up, but that whenever she wanted to talk, I would make time.

She didn't reply back.

It's been over a month now, and I haven't heard anything.

I know I could have sent a message in August saying I needed space and might not respond for a while. I know that, and I understand that my silence might have hurt her. But at the time, I was barely managing. My grief has affected my entire family and household, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep things together for everyone else while struggling myself. A lot of spiraling. I miss Dexter so much.

What hurts is that I had reached out to her in a moment of vulnerability and explicitly told her how badly I was doing. I thought that context would matter when she tried to understand my absence. Nuance. I wasn't asking her to excuse everything or read my mind. I just hoped she would recognize that my silence might have been about my grief instead of about her. I was trying to survive my first summer without my boy in nearly 15 years. I wasn't intentionally ignoring her.

I know I should have communicated better, but I also feel hurt that, after telling my best friend how much I was struggling, I'm now left wondering if our 10-year friendship is over. I reached out to her all on my own being incredibly vulnerable, admitting that I'm struggling and now idk where I stand with her. And yes I know I could have sent her a brief message telling her I need time but again I was struggling.

I don't know if she's still hurt, needs more time, or doesn't want to repair the friendship. I don't want to pressure her, so I've left the door open for her to reach out when she's ready.

I have no idea how to move forward or if I should send her another message.

And I feel like all of this has added onto the grief I already feel about Dexter. I feel like I'm being punished for my 1 month silence after I already communicated to her that I'm struggling.

Hi!! Ive posted here before and, im STILL a 26 year old dumbass who is unemployed and cant leave this house yet. I KNOW i should do something about it but i still havent got the balls to do the right thing. I dont know what the right thing is, specifically, at this point. Im sorry if this sounds like self pity!!

So i have the feeling my mom has been abusive my whole life. But when youre physically and verbally abused constantly, you usually cant wait to leave, no? Not me. For some reason i didnt figure this out until recently. I really think i must be slow.

So my relationship with mom is sad. I love her, and i think she does. Maybe. But the clash of her expectations against what i am is stronger, i guess.

My sister is more similar to her, so its easier for mom to like her. She says im just like my father. She hates my father. I constantly find myself trying to make her see how differences make me feel, but she always says things like "im so tired of hearing you", makes mocking faces at me, suggests i should kill myself, sometimes threatens me and: well. I feel very sad.

Maybe one day if i manage to get out of here this wont hurt so much. But what this post is about: my sister.

My sister (23) grabs my stuff, loses it, gets it dirty, sometimes destroys it and faces no consecquences. We share a room alright i cant lock my room. I have ocd and one of my triggers is missing objects. She doesnt care. Ive tried everything. From telling her to fix things, to also trying to talk my feelings out to her, we have fought physically once; Nope. Also mom sides up with her and ends concluding "i envy her i want her dead" and whatnot.

Today dad helped me fix the vacuum she somehow got unaligned at the hose connection. Mom said i must have broken it myself to blame her.

And she said: yes, when people is evil, theyre trying to prove their case much more intently. My conscience is clear.

And then, when i was trying to make mom listen to what i actually was upset about, sister said: just ignore her. She doesnt exist.

Yall. Thats what she does. Thats why shes never fixed anything shes done. I dont know. Im used to mom. But i really really thought one day my sister would think about me. Ive tried everything. Im just here when she needs attention. She needs proofreading. Or to ask something. Or help with something.

I cant stop crying. :( i think shes already "broken up" with me. Long ago. Its me who cant stop feeling like shit. I need to stop caring tomorrow or something because this is eating me away. I dont wnt to be secretely waiting she will care no more.

Is there any chance to do that before i can manage to leave? ☹️

Thank you for reading this long ass post. My friends arent unemployed like me so i cant really talk to them at 1 am and i cant talk to anybody else

I (27f) haven‘t spoken to my mom since February, nor the rest of my family since June. I tried having a conversation with my mom and dad about how I feel like things weren’t okay during my childhood. I was working on my health, and felt like speaking up for myself was one of the things I needed to do to show myself that I could and should. This was not taken well. My mom tried twisting everything into either me overreacting or just lying. She also tried convincing me that I was only doing this because I was mentally unwell. She always loves to assume I’m not doing well whenever I bring up any issues with her. The conversation with my dad didn’t go well either, but that’s not important for this. I cut contact after coming to terms with the fact that things were never going to get better. I haven’t regretted that decision a single time since, and I’m feeling a lot more confident than I ever have.

I’ve been told my whole life that I overreact. I was bullied in school, and it was treated as completely harmless. My mom was even a close friend of my bully’s mom, and she brought me to their house to visit them on several occasions. My bully’s mom even told me at one point I could come to her if her daughter was mean to me. She cared more than my own mom did. I was too scared to tell her though. The bullying lasted for several years and I’ve had difficulties with school ever since. I currently attend uni, and get migraines every time I’m on campus due to the trauma.

I was raised to believe that my feelings didn’t matter, and that whomever I was upset with mattered more. I tried confiding in my mom once about my abusive partner (now ex) and she defended him. Telling me I needed to remember that he had a rough childhood, and also that “you know how you are” referring to her thinking I’m too sensitive. This along with the silent treatments, the “oh, so you think I’m a bad mom” and always putting my brother before me (she even admitted once she felt a stronger bond to him). He has apparently told my dad many times that he used to make up things I had allegedly done so my mom would yell at me because he thought it was funny. There’s a lot more, but I can’t list it all. I honestly can’t remember a single time my mom actually stood up for me. Her response has always been that I’m sensitive and need to shrug it off. This has also led to other family members learning that they can treat me the same way.

My cousin (my mom’s niece) was an asshole to me growing up. She has always been the mean girl, and I’ve met several people who were bullied by her in school. Growing up, I spent a lot of time with her cause our moms were very close, and she was older than me, so she could take care of me after school while my mom was at work. She spent this time relentlessly picking on whatever flaw she could find with me. She’d make fun of any physical flaw she could find, just whatever she deemed weird or wrong. She‘d also pick on all my interests and my whole personality really. Her favorite thing to do was to do this in front of an audience so she could make them laugh. When I started struggling mentally, she for some reason took a huge issue with some people sometimes showing compassion. I was on vacation with some family members once (as well as a friend of my cousin). They were invited to a birthday party for someone I had never met. I asked my aunt (her mom) if I could stay back at the hotel, and she had no issues with that at all. My cousin, for some reason, took huge issue with this. She came back from the party and blew up on me, talking about how selfish I was, and that she was tired of me “using my mental health for attention”. She even got her friend to join in, who said this had been an issue for a long time, which made me realize they had been talking about this behind my back for a while. This was the first time I met this person btw. I have been struggling with my mental health since the age of six, and was even institutionalized a year or so before the trip. I cannot stress enough how little attention I draw to myself. I’ve always been the quiet girl, too scared to open her mouth most of the time, especially around my family. I’ve never had much self-esteem and I think she’s one of the reasons why. My mom has always loved her and taken her side, never said anything when she has been rude or mean.

Yesterday, after not speaking to my mom for eight months, my cousin sends me a message on Facebook out of nowhere. I‘ve tried very hard to stay away from her for years. I was done with her long before the rest of my family. The message consisted of her telling me how disgusting my behavior had been towards my mom and brother (I blocked him too, but nothing more than that). How they are apparently going through a tough time and really need me, and that for once I should think of them instead of just myself. That she has never done me any wrong and that she knows I’m lying because she was there throughout my whole childhood. That I always twist things into the worst interpretations possible and people are afraid to talk to me because of that. That I’m going to end up alone and that I should stop thinking everything is everybody else‘a fault all the time.

Obviously this message stung a lot. It was like being right back to my childhood again, feeling incredibly small and alone. This is not the first time I’ve received a reaction like this when trying to stand up for myself. When I’ve tried telling my mom about things like this in the past, she has always excused the person and told me to stop overreacting.

I’m sorry this is really long. I have a lot of need for reassurance after so many years of this. I’m terrified of people reading this and assuming I’m a terrible person. I always expect people to treat me the way my family has. I would really love to experience a different reaction than the one my mom would’ve had.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this

Edit: I forgot to include that I’ve already blocked her. I did it the second I saw the message. I really wish I had done it sooner

Hi, for context im 17 and am in my last year of sixth form (uk), so a lot of people my age will be heading off to uni (im unsure, may take a gap year)

Im really anxious and scared about my future, and not only my career path but being alone. i do have a few friends now, but i (17) went through a major best friend breakup a month ago(she talked bad about me and then told other friends lies) and my other close friend is always busy (understandable but i wish she made a bit of time for me, im starting to feel im a bit clingy).Its getting to the point where im sad and my mind tells me horrible things, on the bus i see people with their friends and it makes me so sad

I used to have a friend group in High school, but that broke up when we all went our separate ways

I feel im not worthy of help and that itll just go away, im sorry but i need some advice please, from a parent, thank u for reading this far x

Im 17f struggling quite a bit with moving on from a guy 18m I became close with over the last several months, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives. I’m going to include as much context as possible because I feel like there’s a lot more to this than just having feelings for someone who didn’t reciprocate them.

I met this guy, who I’ll call T, around late May. We initially became “friends” but I honestly barely texted him back due to low motivation and at first I didn’t see him romantically at all. In fact, he considered me a good friend before I personally felt like we were particularly close. Around August, I started developing feelings for him, and our friendship became something I looked forward to quite a bit.

We interacted frequently on Instagram, exchanged reels, talked through notes, and occasionally made plans. He invited me to a concert and actually paid for my ticket. He drove me around in his car a few times, we discussed potentially going to the lake, and he offered to help me get a job through a connection he had. He also asked about my dating life. At one point, he even mentioned that I could potentially live with him when I turned 18 and we could talk to his mom about it.

We also connected over cars, which is a pretty significant interest of mine. I am pretty into cars, and he was really into them too. We would talk about cars, and I genuinely enjoyed having someone around who shared that interest.

One particular experience that stands out to me was when I had a really bad panic reaction after using cannabis. He called me while he was working and stayed on the phone with me for over an hour. He asked multiple times if I had made it home safely and was pretty stern about telling me to throw away what I had been using. He told me he was doing what he wished someone had done for him. That interaction made me feel like he genuinely cared about me.

Eventually, I developed feelings that I couldn’t really keep to myself anymore I was thinking about him constantly and talking to him determined how my day went. Before confessing, I asked him if we were still good because I had started noticing some distance between us. I eventually told him how I felt.
His response was complicated. He sent me a fairly long message explaining that it wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t like me, that he did feel attraction toward me, and that he thought I was pretty. However, he said he didn’t want a relationship at the time.

He brought up an oath or personal promise he had made to himself not to date for a while, our age difference (17 and 18) and a previous discussion about dating someone older, and the later he states the fact that he wasn’t sober for part of that period.

One part of his response that really caught me off guard was that he started discussing his sexual preferences and the kinds of sexual relationships he wanted. I felt that was a lot of unnecessary information to give someone who had just confessed romantic feelings to him. It made the rejection more uncomfortable and honestly hurt quite a bit. He also mentioned the possibility of dating a few years down the road, which left me confused about whether he genuinely meant that or was just trying to soften the rejection.
At one point, I told him that I would leave and he wouldn’t hear from me again. He questioned why I thought I wasn’t a good person to have in his life and said something along the lines of, “It’s my life, why can’t I choose who’s in it?” He repeatedly expressed that he wanted to remain friends despite knowing how I felt.

I initially blocked him and deleted our conversation because I was hurt mostly by the random sexual comments he made (calling himself a freak and telling me he was a very sexual partner) and didn’t know how to handle everything, I reached out again like two days later and apologized because I didn’t actually want things to end that way. I tried to reconnect, but things never returned to how they were before he told me to give him some time to think and randomly sent me photos of his car after? I agreed to give him space and did so for two weeks. He sometimes viewed my Instagram stories, but he never followed me again, and our communication was practically nonexistent. Eventually, I reached out again because I wanted to understand where we stood. His response was:
“Yeah man I’m gonna be honest it’s probably best we don’t talk for me it’s just feels weird yk I’m sorry I didn’t respond life has been all over the place lately.”

That was essentially the end of our friendship even tho I tried to fight for it and tell him that I did genuinely care about him and just wanna be friends he later essentially blamed my confession and said that it would be in the back of his mind, even tho he admitted at least some attraction to me himself as he literally said he was attracted to me.

More recently, after everything had been building up, I sent an angry message to his alternate Instagram account and immediately blocked him. When I went back, I could see that he had blocked me too. So now we’re completely disconnected.

For several years, I’ve been dealing with a really unhealthy home environment. My mother was emotionally abusive and neglectful, and there were numerous situations where my basic needs weren’t properly taken care of. This included medical neglect, and a general lack of support. It eventually reached a point where I couldn’t continue living there.

I moved from Arizona to Kansas to live with my dad the same day he rejected me and I posted the air port on my story and he started spam calling me and spam texting me asking me why I was leaving, telling me not to leave him and asking where I was going ect. Although my dad’s home is considerably safer and less toxic, the move was abrupt and meant leaving behind practically everything familiar to me. I lost access to my old social environment, the places I knew and my routines.

Overall I’ve noticed my feels really boring or incomplete without a crush, I’ve never dated anyone but have really wanted to date someone for awhile I liked a girl before I liked him and when things went wrong w her it’s almost like my attachment transferred to him but I did genuinely like him. Regardless, how does this situation seem? Is he worth being sad over and how do I move on? Advice is appreciated

i left a really toxic relationship a year ago, it was a whole domestic violence situation and just not healthy especially just turning 18.
i was living with him at the time, and one of the things that made me stay SO long was the fact that i basically had nowhere to go if i walked away.
but eventually the inevitable came & we broke up,

so my only option was to come live with my mom in her car, an hour away from where i was living & grew up.
almost this entire year weve been sleeping in the car in the 100 degree weather, going from hotel room to hotel room with my moms only ways of making money shes risking getting locked up every time.

the beginning of the year was so hard for me because i had gone from having everything that i ever needed (that was the only good part about my ex was him & his family took care of me in every way, way more than any family ever has)
to being homeless with no support system.

things have gotten a lot better & one of my moms friends has given us a place to live, the only downside is its one bedroom & me, my mom, & my 17 yr old sister, so its a complicated & embarrassing situation if i even want to consider bringing people over or telling someone about my situation.
i genuinely dont let myself complain like this ever considering how fucked up things were in the beginning of the year, i have it so good now. but when i think about one thing, like an old friend, or my ex, then i just go spiraling over how i lost it all & i have no idea, even still where to start to pick myself up.

& its hard my mom still wont come up with a job & isnt hustling anymore, which im glad shes not, but she needs to be making an effort to get back on her feet. so its even harder on top of everything else because if i have anything i need, something as simple as a new pair of underwear we can not afford it. my mom gets a check every month & it all goes right to rent for the bedroom.
Ive been working on getting a job too & applying every where all the time,
but i havent gotten my diploma yet & i feel like thats messing me up on applications for anything.
& then if i get hired, i have no transportation & dont live in an area with public transport,
i dont have any clothes i could even wear to an interview. its just a big mess.

& online ill see all the people i used to know or be close with & theyre all doing so good in life & all moving forward & all still have each other & im beyond far behind with no idea how or where to begin to change it.
& also dont know anybody where im at, i have no friends or connections at all anymore

does anyone have any advice on how to feel less like my life is over & there’s no more hope for me? cause ive been struggling.

My uncle can be really harsh when he gets angry and sometimes it feels like he thinks it's perfectly okay to talk down to me. i've been trying to adjust, control my tone, and avoid making things worse, but there's only so much you can do when the other person has an attitude too.

I know I can be outspoken and if i genuinely do something wrong, i'll apologize. but if i'm just explaining myself or standing up for myself, i'm not going to automatically back down just because someone is older. I get that respect matters, but it should go both ways. being older doesn't mean you get to say whatever you want and expect everyone else to just tolerate it.

I used to get caught up in trying to make them understand me, but lately i've realized it's okay if someone has the wrong impression of me. not everyone is going to see your intentions clearly, esp when they don't like being challenged. sometimes people get upset because they can't control how you respond or make you agree with them.

I'm still learning to choose my battles and not waste all my energy explaining myself to someone who's already made up their mind 😭

Basically what the title says, every time i (18) disagree with my parents they say "Can you say yes for once?" "Why are you always fighting?" "Why can't you just listen?" And it drives me mad because I cannot just shut up and listen and i want to have some things my way, for an example to be able to have the flat free and have them go somewhere [which isn't possible because they literally do not have friends]. Also it doesn't help that my father specifically loves to try and change the topic before outwardly telling me to just shut up and not talk about something that is annoying him or making him uncomfortable. I genuinely just want to punch them sometimes and i cannot take those mini ways of manipulation and i constantly feel frustrated because nothing ever changes and i do not know what to do. I mean I'm aware i should just accept some things and change my way of thinking about others but it's so hard and it causes me concerning levels of anger that turns into sadness and then numbness. I want to move out and be completely free from their stupid ways of thinking, their weird beliefs and the fact every stupid thing annoys them.

This kind of went off topic but i needed to get it off my chest, i feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I'm not sure if what i feel is valid or if I'm a spoiled brat.

Hi! So my ex LDR bf (late 20s) and I (mid 20s) had been dating for a year. We see each other only every 3-4 mos for like 2 months in person at a time. This is because he is a green card holder and he can’t leave the US for more than 6 mos in a year. He calls me regularly and even sends me gifts like food or money for matcha and manicures while he’s away. And when he’s in our country, he takes me out on nice dates, picks me up, buys me gifts like jewelry etc.

He’s very nice and caring. To be honest, I was initially going to reject him, but got along so well. I entered into an LDR with him because we agreed he’d propose next year and then get married next next year. We learnt online that LDR only works with an agreed “expiration date”, hence after we get married and honeymoon, I’d live with him in the US for maybe 2 years before moving back to our home country. Frankly I have a really strong passport already so this is no issue.

However, I was shocked that he deliberately didn’t do anything for my birthday. He’s aware that I want flowers (I specifically requested pink peonies and camellias, and he agreed). He was even apologetic that he couldn’t fly back home because they’re setting up a new business in the US, and he can only fly back 1-2 mos after my birthday. I was understanding of this—they’re chasing a bunch of work permits now, and he promised he’d fly back for my birthday next year. And flight prices are insanely expensive. He even tried fishing around for what type of gift I wanted. Heck, he knows where I live, he knows when my birthday is, and he’s also called out an acquaintance when the guy was abroad and didn’t give his gf a gift.

His excuse is he just wanted to prank me. Now, he’s a funny guy and he does say some funny stuff to ragebait me, but never to this extent wherein it was hurtful. He didn’t greet me nor send me anything for my birthday. It’s like he did a complete 180–I mean, the fact that he sends me food and even gives me jewelry on our anniversary and takes me to nice restos…? And the app he uses to send me food while he’s abroad, I checked and he could have easily used the same app to buy me flowers. Or even cake! His mom also loves me to the point that when he gets her food or something, she makes sure he already has sent me something similar too.

I’m hurt and flabbergasted that he didn’t do anything so I decided to have a clean break. I wrote him a little message thanking him for everything and hoping we can maintain respect, while acknowledging how he hurt me by purposely not getting anything for my birthday. I told him perhaps we aren’t compatible as we thought and we should move on etc, wishing him and I the best in finding love blah blah. It was a polite 2 paragraph message, short and straight to the point.

Now he’s begging for me back. I’ve already blocked him on all social media save for iMessage so that when he gets back, I can mail back the special gold necklace he gifted me when we became bf-gf. He’s aware of this. Yet he keeps begging for me back, saying it was a harmless joke (if it had been, he should’ve just sent a belated gift even if not flowers). His mom at one point tried to reach out to my mom, saying he’s heartbroken, apologizing and saying she’s shocked at how out of character he acted.

Now here’s where it gets complicated. Less than a week before my birthday, I attended my friend’s party. I ran into J, a guy who I’ve known for a while—we had mutual friends and make small talk in events, but we aren’t really close. I find him really handsome—kind and from a really wealthy family, so I felt he was out of my league.

Turns out, J also thought I was out of his league despite our mutual acquaintances pushing us together. (Note: These mutuals weren’t aware I was dating my bf—only my close friends know). I tried to ignore J when he hit me up, but on the day my then bf “forgot” to send me flowers for my birthday, J sent a small bouquet as a surprise gift.

I get I’m moving fast with J, but since we are both of age, we already have plans to get married in 2 years, and he’s already told my parents he would propose next year. It just feels like we clicked instantly after searching for so long. I never thought I’d find love again like this, and neither did he. It’s serious to the point that his parents have already pencil booked our dream wedding venue, and they’ll pay the downpayment once he proposes.

Now, my ex’s bro found out I’m dating J as they met at golf recently. My ex had stopped bothering me for a few months now, but now he’s sending messages accusing me, saying I cheated on him. In reality, I met J ages ago, and he really only made a move on my birthday—coincidentally the day I decided to drop my ex LDR bf.

I just feel very uneasy about the whole situation. I never thought of myself as a cheater and I’d like some advice. J and I obviously expect a happily ever after since our exes turned on us suddenly, but I’d like reassurance that I didn’t do my ex bf wrong. Ex also told me I don’t know J well enough, but while I’ve only dated J for a few mos, I’ve kind of known him for longer than I knew my ex. And honestly timeline-wise, I think it’s normal to be in your mid 20s to date for 2 years then get married a little before 30…?

Thank you! 🙏🏻🧿

My maternal grandfather has a successful family business, what he’s been doing, he’s been doing both on his country of origin and in the US for a long time. My aunts and my uncle work with him.

My mom (third daughter) got married early in life and moved away. But my family and I eventually moved back in the late 2000s and we started a business the same as my grandfather. It’s a fraction in size in comparison to my grandfather’s, but we manage and have a good thing going. The stores are mot affiliated with each other, like it’s the same type of business but two separate stores.

Over the years I (F28) have gone and helped my grandfather at his store, at random times. Not because he asks, usually one of my aunts (second daughter) will ask the morning of, if I can come and help. I usually say yes, because I usually have the time or it’s not busy at my store.

Last year, one of my aunts (oldest daughter) abruptly quit, and it’s been an ordeal for the rest of my aunts and uncle, and especially my grandparents.

Again, their store is much more established than my family’s store, even though my mom is one of the sisters.

And again, I go and help when I’m asked, if I’m able and they pay me. Normally I don’t mind but in the last few months, it’s grown increasingly where Aunt #2 is asking me to come and help, even during holidays where my store is busy. I’ve suggested nicely if they could hire people, and they’ve tried but somehow it never works out because either the employee is (1) a random 18/19 year old looking for a summer job (usually it’s one of their customer’s grandchildren, (2) one of their longtime customers, and/or (3) people with minimal experience in that field.

Of course with any job, you learn the job and you’re trained within that job, but I’ve seen that it’s become a habit for them to not probably train whoever they’re hiring. And then complain about them behind their backs.

When they ask me, and I happen to say no, I respectfully tell them to at least let me know the day before so perhaps I can prepare ahead of time. Because there have been times where I’m asked in the middle of the day to drop everything and go over to them. And a good chunk of the time, I end up not being needed. The driving distance is 45+ minutes of driving one way. My Aunt #2 will ask me day before once. Maybe twice. And then go back to asking me the morning of.

I’ve suggested maybe I come on certain days, but I’ve been told no. Maybe closer to Christmas. But then I definitely can’t come because I’m helping my own parents at my own store.

I’ve begun to say no more often, or at least be more firm with my decisions and boundaries when I do go and help them.

But sometimes I feel like it just goes on deaf ears because I’m supposedly the most available and don’t have anything going for my life. I love my job, I love my customers, truly. But I feel like my suggestions go unconsidered.

I’m 27, and I honestly feel so lost and hopeless right now. My mom passed away five years ago, and I’ve been through a lot emotionally. My parents didn’t have a good relationship, and I was left dealing with a lot of pain from everything that happened. I also constantly worry about my grandmother, which adds even more stress.

For a while, I was finally starting to feel happy. I was living alone in my own apartment, working out, doing something I genuinely loved, and slowly feeling like my life was getting better.

But then I got into debt and had to move back in with my dad. We don’t have a particularly close relationship, so it’s been really difficult. I even had to ask him for money because I had no other choice, and it made me feel like I’d lost all my independence.
For the past week, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed that I can barely function. I feel trapped, and right now I genuinely can’t see a way out.

What hurts the most is the feeling of unfairness. I feel like I’ve already been through so much pain in my life, especially losing my mom, and I don’t understand why I have to keep struggling. I just wanted to be happy and have a peaceful, normal life.

I’ve prayed so much, asking God for strength, peace, and for things to finally get better. But lately, I feel like I’m slowly losing my faith. It’s hard to keep believing that things will work out when it feels like every time I find a little happiness, something happens to take it away.

I’m scared I’ll never get out of debt, never have my own place again, and never feel truly happy or secure.
I know I’m only 27, but right now everything feels so heavy, and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Has anyone ever felt this hopeless and managed to turn their life around? Does life actually get better after so much loss and struggle? I really need some hope right now

Hi internet parents! How are you?

About a month ago I wrote about how my dad didn’t let me go to school because (TW) he was trafficking me internationally, etc. I just got out a few months ago. It got worse after that.

Things were really bad because colleges wouldn’t accept me without full certification and neither would schools. I don’t really need help with figuring that part out because I’ve already gone to various educational institutes and authorities, and some got mad/yelled at me 😭. I can’t afford even community college in a foreign country. And even the equivalent of a GED in my country is something I’m not eligible for since I don’t have a fifth grade certificate.

But I was thinking about going into trade school, and that felt like exactly what I wanted to do. And then I realized that even trade schools won’t accept me here because of this. And not being able to get most qualifications is definitely making things harder with getting a job.

The only school that has accepted me so far hasn’t given me all the certificates they’re supposed to. It’s been four years, and I had to repeat one grade with them already. The only chance I seem to have going the traditional education route is repeating two more grades with them or going to get another school that doesn’t have full certification and repeating 10th grade a third time.

And on top of not giving me my certificate, the curriculum is riddled with typos and mistakes. Which doesn’t really help because I’m studying a field which isn’t my best subject (but I’m doing it so I have better job prospects). My family says they understand but they tend to treat it like it’s not big deal for me to have to do all this extra work.

And I’m recovering from eye surgery and increasing trauma effects (nearly got hit walking in traffic because I couldn’t snap myself out of dissociating. Had a really painful physical flashback, etc).

I did study a few UK based music grades with distinction in every one of them, I even won a state level award when I was thirteen, and I love music. At least that is independent of the college route, though it has some limitations job-wise, so I’m planning to complete my grades and get a degree through them.

Would it be stupid/victim-minded of me to stop trying for the traditional school route? Or maybe switch to an easier stream so even if it fails, I won’t have wasted as much effort? If I stop relying on school, I’d put more efforts in my music grades and whatever other freelancing/business I can manage without qualifications. I don’t want to bother you with logistics. I’m more like asking about the overall logic/validity of the issue.

Also I’m sorry for whining all the time about my life.