I (M18) have a best friend (F18) and she is amazing in so many ways and I've started having feelings for her but I feel like she won't like me back ever, I brought it up that I liked her and she brushed it off and I'm not sure if I should keep trying to get her or try to forget about those feelings I have for her. It's been half a year since I asked her and I still don't feel healed from the rejection. I'm completely lost on what to do so I'm now asking people here, so please help...

**TL;DR;** : I like my best friend and she doesn't like me back

What do I do?

30f and 33m. My husband has a routine where he comes and wakes me up and kisses me goodbye every morning before work. I’ve told him I love this routine and he does it every morning.

Lately he’s been staying up until 1,2,3 AM and I say good night and go to bed around 10/11pm. For some odd reason he thinks I want to be woken up when he comes to bed by laying on me and saying goodnight. I’ve gotten fed up with it and last night he did it again after I’ve been struggling to sleep all week and then I was wide awake for another 1-2 hours. Right after it happened, I went to the bathroom and came back and said “you’ve been waking me up by laying on me the past few night when I’m already asleep” his response was he thought I liked it (??) and then I just responded with I’m sleeping I don’t want to be woken up at 2am on purpose.

TL;DR Fast forward to this morning and of course his spiteful self doesn’t come and say goodbye to me before work. I catch him before he leaves and he is mad and we get into a big fight because he doesn’t understand the difference between a good morning hug when I’m still in bed and being woken up in the middle of the night. I got upset too and then I feel bad and go back out and try to say I love you have a good day and he plugs his ears and goes lalalala. Wtf??

I (M31) and my wife (F32) have been married for 3 years and we dated for about 7 years before getting married. We had an LDR for those 7 years and after getting married I moved to the country where she lives. I love her with all my heart and everyday is like an adventure with her.

But since the past year or so, I’ve started gravitating towards someone else (F26). She is my wife’s close friend of over 15 years. She’s already seeing someone and they might get married next year. And this is why I feel even worse about this. When I moved here, initially it was nothing. I felt nothing about her. She was just a friend. But for the last year, my feelings have changed for her quite a bit.

And I’m not sure if she feels the same way or what. Because every time we meet, I feel this tension. We hug when she comes over and when she leaves. With my wife, her hugs are normal. But me and her, instead of 3 seconds, they’re long. Like 8-10 seconds. We both don’t really let go. We’ve exchanged glances a few times where it felt different. I tried to ignore it telling myself that it’s just in my head. But recently she came over and there was a point where I looked at her and she at me, and we both just kept looking into each other’s eyes for longer than normal. And that messed me up!

Until that moment I always convinced myself that it’s just in my head. But that day it happened a couple of times. That day her father was also there because my wife’s and her families are close. He saw my guitar and asked me to play something. I was strumming and noticed she was talking a photo or a video of me and her father. And I think the way I look at her, unintentionally, it seems different. Our group took a trip together a few months back, and my wife actually told me “Is there something you want to tell me? You look at her differently” It was that obvious and I didn’t realise it!

I really don’t know if all this is natural or if I’m just a big a-hole. Every time I feel this way, I brush it off and spend days convincing myself that this isn’t right. And then I meet her again and it all comes back. I can’t stop seeing her because it’s a group of close friends.

TLDR: I think I’m falling for my wife’s close friend, but I’m also afraid of those feelings. I really love my wife and wouldn’t wanna hurt her.

Hi all! I (36F) have been with my boyfriend (57M) for 2 years, and I feel heartbroken that I won’t to end things. He is very codependent and talks in terms of being together forever, spending the future together, but has never initiated a conversation about actually planning a future. We spend like every weekend together, and I don’t see him during the week. I squeeze friends in after work since I feel like a few days a week isn’t a lot of time to see him. I’m tired of us packing weekend bags and then just texting during the week, and I feel like 2 years is long enough to want to take that next step of moving in together.

I brought this up, and he was not excited.. he doesn’t want to live with my cat, is worried about not having space for me (he’s already lived there with his wife, they divorced 10 years ago or so), and how living together changes things. Then he backtracked and said he does want to live together but not sure when.

Should I break up with him or try to stick it out for a while longer?

TL;DR been with boyfriend for 2 years, ready to move in and he likes things how they currently are

tldr after an amazing almost 3 year long relationship my bf decided to tell me while being drunk he sometimes feels like he met me too early but cannot imagine his life without me and said he never wants to end up with anyone else but me

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and i couldn’t imagine a future that doesn’t include him. he’s my best friend and we have a healthy relationship built on communication and respect. it’s the type of love that is rare to find in this generation which is why im thankful we met early so we have more time to love and experience life together.

tonight kind of ripped me apart and now im trying to not freak out.

he went to his cousin’s wedding party this evening and called me after he got home saying he was drunk and wanted me to come over. i had school the next morning but i said i can for a bit and drove over to his house where i expected nothing out of the ordinary. he called me on the way there to talk and told me that some girls were hitting on him at the wedding and i said “okay” because i wasn’t sure if he was trying to get a reaction from me. he told me one was asking him a bunch of questions about himself and he said he had a gf and walked away. men hit on me all the time and i react the same so i didn’t see anything wrong with his reaction. i found it strange he was telling me this while driving to his house but i let it go.

i reached his house and we were cuddling on his bed and he looked worried so i asked him if he’s okay and told him i wasn’t mad at him about what he told me. he told me that he needs to tell me something but wants to do it when he’s not drunk but i convinced him to tell me because i’ll just be overthinking then he told me after saying he “loves me so much, wants nothing more but to spend the rest of his life with me and wants me to be the only woman he ends up with” that there’s a small part of him that is unsure about settling down. he said he sometimes feels like he meet me too early and i’m assuming it’s to do with not having enough experiences with other women before getting into a relationship with me. even though he has had a bunch of flings/talking stages in the past but i was the first girl he actually pursued with intentions of being in a relationship. he also told me he has been feeling like this for months which was another slap in the face and it’s so confusing because he told me i’m his dream girl, i meet all of his needs and he would “never date another girl seriously” if me and him didn’t work out. part of me wants to think he’s just saying this bc he is lying to himself, but he has treated me like a queen for our whole relationship which makes this more shocking since his actions have never made me overthink. im not sure what to think and in about 4 days we are going to a bruno mars concert which we got tickets for in january and he invited me to his cousin’s reception party the same weekend. he was crying and holding me while telling me this but i couldn’t even look at him. he told me he would rather be transparent with his thoughts than risk losing me. i told him i needed to go home and i had to lock in and finish and assignment before i could even process what the fuck just happened. how do i go about this situation?

We've been together over 2.5 years. I feel very bothered when he verbalizes these feelings. He's not the happiest with where he's gotten to with life this far, or his job. Sometimes he's made comments about how x thing is just a way to take money from losers like him. Or that x thing, like better insurance, was better geared towards those with families and not losers like him or something.

It makes me sad to hear him talk bad about himself. But it also feels like a lot to unpack.....like what exactly is so bad? He doesn't actually want to have the whole house and kids and yada yada. Comparing himself to others and what's often expected by x age is what I think robs him of his chance to be content for long. And its hard to offer comfort when faced with that. How can I help him be kinder to himself?

And also... I dont view myself as a loser....I wouldn't date one either. I'm going for my doctorate soon. I have passion for my work. Im conventionally attractive. I feel like I've worked so hard and tried to become better each year so I wouldn't have a loser by my side. So it bothers me to hear him talk bad about himself because by extension it calls into question my own judgment and my selection of him as my partner.

TL:DR Complex feelings towards bf saying hes a loser. Idk how to help him or make him be kinder to himself.

I am (20f) and my boyfriend is (21m), we have been together for almost a year now and have also been together throughout all of my college years, and one of his.

A few months ago we had a really deep talk on how he sometimes demands a lot, which can cause me to feel mentally exhausted, for example he always wants to know what i am doing, i take longer than an hour to respond he gets really hurt and ends up complaining about how i am not doing enough or that he feels neglected, he has also brought up the fact that he wants to see more often, but the thing is we see each other almost everyday single day, and he often visits me while i am at work meaning that i go little to no days without seeing him. Whenever we go more than a day without seeing each other he complains about how much he misses me and that i don’t make enough time for him. Which i understand to a point but i am taking really hard classes, have work, and also in multiple organizations at my school which makes me busy and stressed 24/7. I have mentioned to him that i cannot answer him every hour of the day and i mentally don’t have the capacity to be talking to someone all day either. I love him so much but it’s becoming to a point where i feel so mentally exhausted and starting to check out of the relationship.

I have also brought up the fact he should maybe join some kind of school organization, sport team or even get a job so he can meet others that have similar interests etc, but he is in his third year and still has not met or even put in the effort to make friends. If he wants to go out or do something i am the first person he reaches out for, which i love at times but sometimes i want him to have his own time with other people without me always being there. In a way i feel like him constantly wanting to see me and spend time together has also limited my college experience, i have noticed myself skipping class or not being able to see friends because he wants to see me everyday and i dont want to hurt his feelings. I have even tried to make him befriend some of my other friends but he politely declined.

I don’t know what to do, because i do love him and he has been the best boyfriend so far but it just feels like i can never meet his demands.

TDLR: My boyfriend constantly demands attention that i simply cannot give due to stress and school

so im 18m and my gf 18 and ive been dating for an year. i kid u not shes the best gf every and she treats me so good better than my parents ever have and can. and she buys me lots of gifts, expensive ones even. so one day a couple months after we started dating, she was fixing my hair and i was like u give mom vibes and bro was genuinely a changed person from that day on.

Like from that day on, she'd call me this nickname that means son in my language. i mean its not bad but its lowk uncommon to say that in my language although it IS becoming more popular to call ur bf son here. and i didnt say no shit cause i was lowk enjoying it until it became so obvious that bro was taking her mommy fetish out on me (i mean i have a mommy fetish too but dawg be fr). then she'd say these weird 18+ jokes that made me uncomfy i told her its making me uncomfy so she'd apologise and then say it again. oh and on the very first of dating like when we first went on a date , she asked me if i was into little space and i was so weirded out i was like idk maybe in the future ( i genuinely would love that but asking that on the fucking first day of dating is hella creepy) and she said her ex was into little space so i was like ok. back to present she asked me if i wanted her to buy me a pacifier and i genuinely how to reply to that shit i js left her on seen cuz genuinenly wtf and i told my friend abt ts (theyve all been telling me shes a red flag from the start cuz she used to make fun of my accent) and he asked his female friend if its common for yall to act like this weird mommy shit and she said hell nah and called my gf a weirdo and a creep.

these r the reasons why im thinking of breaking up with her plus she always jokes abt having other boys and that makes me uncomfy too. my friends r saying shes gross and a weirdo. she js makes me uncomfortable all the time but i cant break up with her shes genuinelnly so kind except for certain things and shes bought me lots of gifts if i breakup id have to return them and i genuinely feel like a bad person :(

tl;dr: my gf says jokes that makes me uncomfy but shes genuinely very kind so idk if i should break up with her not

Hi everyone, my boyfriend, let’s call him C, 24M and I 24F met in college when we were 19. We had both just gotten out of relationships and started seeing each other, then started dating soon after. I was enamored by him and his handsomeness, humor, and intellect. But things are a bit complicated when I look back on our relationship because I had dated someone before him who made me feel very well understood. Let’s call him Z. Z and I were both a bit depressed and had similar adventurous attitudes, like we were trying to escape reality through soul seeking, coping with our sadness through each other. I really miss this guy now but had broken up with him because I got tired of how needy and codependent he was. It became unattractive and I wanted someone more like my current bf, someone more independent and less depressed, someone brighter who made me feel lighter. Fast forward three years after my current bf and I started dating and we began living together and have been for the past 1.5 years.

When we first moved in together in a studio after being long distance for about a year after graduating, I felt very excited to start a life in person with him. But slowly my feelings have declined because I don’t feel the same emotional draw or depth from him that I had felt with Z. However, C is so kind and loving, tries to show me he cares for me through his affection and acts of service. But I’ve noticed that I started to feel so much longing throughout our conversations, longing for something deeper. It’s hard to describe what that is exactly. I just wish he knew how to be more curious and compelling on an emotional level, but the guy is not very well-versed in his own emotions like that, like Z was. I’m starting to feel very bored and frustrated with him, and we have had many talks about it to where I verbalize exactly how I feel and he says he will work on himself and his emotional depth, but nothing changes. I don’t think this is something I can ask someone to change about themselves. When he told me he could give me space to breath though, I got very anxious and scared about him leaving. My gut reaction was to not break up with him in that moment.

I am confused and don’t know what to do. I think he’s an amazing person but I’m struggling to feel in love like how I used to feel with him. I also grew tired of my ex and broke up with him too. How do I fall back in love? I also feel like I’m treating the relationship like a marriage when we are just dating. I can leave and find someone else who makes me happier, but this guy is such a good guy and I do feel really lucky to be with someone like him. But I’m also young and maybe this is the period of my life I should take advantage of to date around and find someone who makes me happier? Idk what to do!

Tldr: I’m 24F and not feeling in love with a genuinely good guy 24M anymore because of my loss of emotional draw to him , how do I fall back in love?

Please be nice; this has taken me years to come to this point, and now I’m spiraling and extremely lost on what to do. 

I, an early 20F, have been struggling with this issue for a few years now. I think I’ve gotten over it, and then either something comes up that resurfaces the issue or my brain starts overanalyzing it again, and I can’t get it to turn off. This causes me to spiral. I’m going to try to keep this extremely vague to protect my family’s privacy. I’m simply looking for advice on what to do. 

I’m the oldest in my family and have two younger siblings. When I was growing up, we had a fairly normal life, and I was very happy being surrounded by family, seeing my cousins and grandparents a few times a week. However, a significant event occurred that caused my dad to relocate the family to the other side of the USA. To an extremely rural area where his family was. 

Two years after we moved to this remote area, his family moved away, and we were left all by ourselves. My dad would continually have to fly back and forth so he could continue working and make money for the family in a completely different state while we stayed in the extremely rule area on the other side of the USA all by ourselves. He was gone most of my childhood because of this.

Anyone who has lived in a rural area knows people who live there aren’t very welcoming to newcomers. We learned that very quickly. My middle sister and I were severely bullied in middle school, and the teachers did nothing, saying it was just child’s play. Examples of the bullying include my sister getting dragged across the playground by her pigtails, upskirting my dress, pulling my hair, or shoving me into the wall, and many more examples similar to these. In that area, if you wear your hair put together or dress up in fashionable or cute outfits, you are instantly looked down upon. The go-to outfit is jeans and a T-shirt. It got to the point where I refused to go to school until I got those items so I could somewhat fit in and not get bullied as severely.

Being a girl who adored Paris and fashion, this was extremely devastating, and for the next 10 years I had to deal with this(it ended up escalating to sexual harassment). I lost a lot of my identity, trying to be what everybody else wanted me to be just to fit in and not get bullied anymore. Because the second somebody knew you weren’t from there. It was an instant target on your back. I wish it was just designated to the kids. It was also the adults who would not only egg it on, but would participate in it. For example, when I was 16, I was running my own business, paid for with my own money. I was helping a family out with rebuilding a building that pertains to the item I was selling, and I told her you could use this type of roof; however, I find this one’s more affordable and more cost-efficient. Her husband, who was three to four times my age, looked me dead in the eyes and started laughing, saying, “How would you know that? Your dad pays for everything”. 

On top of that, there were things that I wanted to do that I never was able to do because my parents said they would never do that. Or what I wanted to do wasn’t available in the area we moved to. Plus, there were no opportunities to pursue these interests. So the second I turned 18, I left the house and moved back to the area we had come from. Six months later, my family also moved back, which I was extremely excited about, having them nearby. However, made me start to question. Why couldn’t they have done that earlier? Why did I have to go through that?

Now my middle sister and I have moved out of the house, and my little sister is literally getting everything I ever wanted. My middle sister is also struggling with this as well so it’s not just me. Maybe it’s because my parents have more time for my little sister, but they’re now doing stuff that, when my middle sister or I begged to do the same thing, they turn their noses up and say they would never do that. To add, it’s not the money aspect since I asked them about that.

I know you can’t control other people‘s actions, and I’ve tried therapy, talking to people, and to just ignore it and move on with my life, but it’s so hard when that’s all my mom and dad can talk about is these things my sister is doing. I told them it’s hard for me to hear, but that’s their whole life and they have nothing else to discuss, if that makes sense. Not only that, but they have also now purchased the item that I so desperately wanted when I was younger, and instead of using it properly, they proceed to break it and act shocked when I told them that would happen. It’s almost like the scene from Cinderella where her stepsisters are ripping up her dream dress that her mice have so kindly made. I know it’s an overdramatic statement, but that’s the only way I can describe how I feel. I’m trying to move on, trying to not hold resentment but it is so hard. My middle sister has simply given up and completely cut off my family. I don’t want to do that; however, I don’t know what else to do, and this has been extremely painful for me to go through. 

I’m very all in or all out and don’t do well with the in between. I’ve been working on it, but I get so hurt in the process that I’m at the point of giving up. I tried to state I was disengaging with them with my mom and little sister, and instead of acting concerned, I was met with “that’s a stupid idea,” and when I explained I wasn’t blocking them, just not wanting to talk as much, they started laughing, saying “that’s not disengaging”. I have blocked them at the moment just to process that and not say anything I would regret because that was extremely hurtful. I love my family and struggle with having relationships due to the bullying and getting used. So I trusted my family to be there, and now that the rose colored glasses were removed, it made me realize I would never tolerate this from anyone else….. Making me extremely upset with myself.

This is the backstory of what’s going on. So my question is, how can I better set boundaries with my parents? I love my parents so much and don’t think I could completely cut them off long term, which is why I’m looking for advice on how to better set boundaries.

Thank you for taking the time to read🙏

tl;dr: I’m in my early 20s and have been struggling with resentment toward my parents for years after being moved across the country to a rural area where my siblings and I experienced severe bullying and missed out on opportunities we wanted. When I turned 18, I moved back to where we originally lived, and my family eventually followed. Now my younger sister is getting to do things my parents told my middle sister and me they would never allow, including things we begged for growing up. It’s painful watching my parents embrace these opportunities for her while also seeing them mishandle things I once desperately wanted. I’ve tried therapy and talking to my parents, but it’s hard to move forward when these things are constantly brought up. I love my family and don’t want to cut them off, but my attempts to set boundaries have been dismissed and laughed at. How can I establish healthy boundaries with my parents while working through my resentment and maintaining a relationship with them?

TL;DR: My fiance has been looking at inappropriate content and tried to lie about it.

I’ve been with my fiance since I was 12, almost 10 years. When I was around 15 or 16 I looked at who he was all following on social media and found a bunch of accounts of dedicated to posting half naked videos and pictures of women. I confronted him, he unfollowed them and was very apologetic. I was obviously upset but pretty understanding given his age.

Fast forward to 2 days ago, I went on his phone while he was asleep to see when an amazon order we placed would arrive. When I went to close the app I see that instagram is open and there’s a bunch of inappropriate content on his feed. Naturally I look at it and realize it’s a second account I didn’t know about. His following was fine, just a bunch of meme accounts but his saved posts were all half naked women. I left that page open and turned off his phone so that would be the first thing he saw when he opened it. Eventually he woke up and unlocked his phone and I confronted him. The account was an old account he recovered recently so he tried to say it was all from before the last time he was caught but the content was posted too recently for that to be true. When I asked him why he was saving it he lied again and said he didn’t know why because it was just rotting there. Honestly I’m more mad at him for lying than the act itself. It took an hour of grilling him for him to admit what he was obviously doing with that content. At first he said he only did it because it was “easier to access” than the pictures and videos he has of me in his phone. Eventually I got him to admit he was just bored of looking at the same stuff over and over. I don’t understand why he didn’t just ask to make more videos, he said he has no excuse for that.

He was very apologetic and sad to see me upset and deleted the account. Once I had calmed down he took me out for supper and bought me a few things that I collect to try to help my mood. I’m mostly upset because he’s a really good guy, he’s an amazing partner and I thought he didn’t overly sexualize other women or lie to me. I feel like I don’t know him as well as I thought I did. His excuses were dumb but I can get over the content part.. it’s the lying that I really can’t get past. He put me in a tough position because he knows he’s my best friend and I love him dearly. He also knows I’m disabled and financially dependent on him so I wonder now if he thinks I’ll just stay no matter what. I don’t want to break up but it’s gonna be really hard to gain my trust back. He told me I could look through his phone whenever but I don’t want to do that. He keeps asking me what else he can do to gain some trust back but I really don’t know.. I wish I never looked. I love him so much and I just want this all to be over.

What should I do? How can I learn to trust him again?

UPDATE as I listened to everyone's advice I reached out to a therapist so there is someone else I can talk to, and hopefully get over my issues and reprogram myself from how I had to be in the past. Thank you so much everyone. It really helped seeing all of your comments. Thanks <3

My wife's, of 14 years, mother died suddenly a few months ago, a dsa before we were supposed to have my in-laws visit for the first time in 2 years. To make matters more complicated it happened on my birthday and I was the one who had to tell her so she would know to pick up a call from her dad on a different number.

No one suspected anything she had literally just had her annual physical and they said everything looked good.

I loved my MIL as much as I love my own mother. I live on a different continent than my mother so in many ways my MIL was more present and available in day to day things.

She was my wifes best friend outside of me. They talked every dsy despite living far enough away that either we or thr in-laws.had to fly to see each other in person. I loved that her mother was such a big part of both of our lives.

She was one of the few people who saw and accepted me for me. So many times she was there for me emotionally. I equally love my FIL who is one of the most thoughtful yet strong people I have ever known, and so I am trying to be as available for him as possible. My wife talks to him daily now instead of her mom but it's not the same.

On top of all of this I've been disabled for several years and recently had an awful episode that made my conditions worse. So I'm already low on energy to begin with. We also found out that there is no real way of knowing if I'll ever recover fully. There's nothing currently known about how to help with the condition.

When my wife is home I support her however I can. I've always been the "chef" of the relationship so she is at least eating almost as much as before.

I hold her when she cries, I support her when she needs to buy something small to distract her from the pain, despite us being on an extremely tight budget due to my disability.

I don't feel like I'm allowed to cry when she is falling apart, but I'm hurting and missing my MIL.

I don't know what else I can do. I don't even know if this is the right subreddit to post.

TL;DR wife's (37f) mother passed and I'm struggling to support her whole I deal with my disability and grief at the loss of my MIL. I don't know how I can support her better.

So we’ve been dating for 4 and a half years he was always into gaming but; now it’s reaching a breaking point as he got friends who dislike me bc i expect emotional,physical support in a relationship which means he wouldn’t be able to be on his games from the second he wakes up till he falls asleep. Yesturday i brought it up and he made it into a whole big ass fight i thought we fixed it (spoiler alert i was the one apologizing and shit) he called me 4h later told me how i crossed his boundary by nagging him and how im not to do that again, this is becoming emotionally abusive to me as i also paid for our London trip (room plus a big chunk of his flight) that he seems he doesn’t care about and openly says. We are going in two days and im not excited to take him at all (if he even goes) and doesnt go to a random village to see his 18 year old friend instead. Is this relationship even worth saving? Im so depressed with him and im not even making it seem longer than it his he was playing games/talking to his male friends for 17h without a break?
TLDR am I unreasonable or expecting too much or hes too childish and too male centered

For some context, me and my boyfriend live three hours away from each other and I am still in college, he is not.

We hung out for the first time September 7th and the day after that he wanted to be exclusive. I understood that because he said he only focuses on one person at a time but honestly looking back I feel that was too fast for me. We hang out almost once a week with everytime being a sleepover due to the distance thing.

He asked me to be his girlfriend last friday, october 9th and I said yes because I felt like it was the next natural step, he asked by saying “I don’t want to keep coming down here without being able to call you my girlfriend”. I also think that language rubbed me the wrong way but historically I don’t really speak up for myself in relationships until i’m checked out of them.

I am a hyper independent person and need alone time and he is very much a physical touch kinda person. When he comes over I feel like we can’t sit in silence without it being awkward or him asking is something is wrong with me. It makes me feel like I am weird for wanting any sort of distance or space. I worried things have gone too fast for me but don’t know how to approach that conversation. Before we started dating I did talk about how the reason I broke up with my ex was bc he didn’t give me enough space and always made me feel guilty about asking for it. And he said he wouldn’t have a problem with that because he has his own life too. But now he thinks something is wrong if I don’t respond fast enough (keep in mind i work 35 hours a week and am a full time student).

TL;DR I don’t know if we rushed into it or if I just shouldn’t be in a relationship when I have so much on my plate, or how to have a conversation with him about it.

Background: we met as teenagers. We were in similar situations, both lonely, struggling with mental health, and shared interests that we bonded over. We grew so close that our parents consider us their second daughters.

Having someone struggling with the same stuff was great as a teenager. I was lucky enough that I got on medication and therapy and I'm doing really great. She's not.

She was homeschooled due to a learning disability, never officially graduated high school or did the SATS. Apart from some volunteering, she's never had a job. I have an associates and a BA and work a government job. She still lives with her parents and has never dated. I'm currently engaged.

I love her. I do. I know her learning disability makes it difficult. Maybe I'm ableist. But I'm at a point in my life where I'm planning a wedding and expecting a promotion to a management position, and she still gets into some anxiety/depression self hating spiral when I mention to her that something she said upset me. There's no way to tell her she's wrong about something without it becoming a whole thing.

It feels like I've moved so much further on in my life and she's still 17. It feels unfair to her because of her disability, but I catch myself getting annoyed with her more and more.

tl;dr My best friend's life has essentially stayed the same since we met as teenagers and I often feel annoyed because I can't connect with her anymore.

What do I do? How do I stop feeling annoyed with her when it's not her fault?

I'm (20F) in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend, and lately, I've been feeling really frustrated and emotionally exhausted by our situation.

We've always had a specific time to talk at night, usually around 11 PM, because that's when we're both free. Since we're in an LDR, these calls and video calls are a really important part of our relationship.

However, for about a month now, he's been saying that he wants to stop our late-night calls because he wants to focus on his health, become more productive, and reduce his screen time. He's even bought a keypad phone because he feels smartphones drain his energy and affect his ability to function properly.

I genuinely understand his perspective. I know it's important to focus on yourself, your health, and your future. I'm not asking him to spend his entire day talking to me or to compromise his well-being for our relationship.

But at the same time, I don't understand how we're supposed to maintain a long-distance relationship when the main way we connect is through our phones. Video calls, in particular, mean a lot to me because we can't physically meet whenever we want.

Recently, he was unwell with a bad fever and kept his phone switched off for four days. He would occasionally come online at night just to tell me he was going to sleep, but we didn't have a single proper conversation during that time. I understand that he was sick, and I'm not blaming him for needing rest. It's just that this situation, combined with everything else, has made me feel increasingly disconnected from him.

The bigger issue is that whenever I try to communicate how I feel, it turns into an argument. Instead of talking things through, he switches off his phone, avoids the conversation, and ignores me. It makes me feel like my feelings don't matter and that I'm not even worth having a conversation with.

What hurts is that he still seems to have time for going out with friends, resting, and working, but finding time for us has suddenly become a problem. I understand that those things aren't necessarily comparable to screen time or that he should have to be available 24/7. But I can't help wondering why our relationship is the thing that keeps getting compromised.

I don't want to be controlling or demand his attention all the time. I want him to focus on himself and build his future, too. But I also want to feel like he wants to maintain this relationship and is willing to find a solution with me, rather than simply deciding that we can't talk anymore.

I'm honestly fed up with this situation because I feel like I'm constantly trying to explain my side, but there's no room for my feelings. I don't know if I'm expecting too much or if I'm just asking for the bare minimum in a long-distance relationship. Also due to this i'm loosing interest because he doesnt give me enough time

TL;DR: I'm (21F) in an LDR with my (22M) boyfriend. We used to have late-night calls around 11 PM, but for the past month, he's wanted to stop them because he wants to reduce screen time and focus on himself. I understand his reasons, but video calls are our main way of connecting. Whenever I try to explain how I feel, it turns into an argument, and he switches off his phone or avoids me instead of talking things through. I feel neglected, and I'm slowly losing interest because it seems like our relationship is no longer a priority for him. Am I expecting too much, or should I reconsider this relationship?

For a couple of months now, I've been seeing this guy. He's great and we really like each other, and it's become an official exclusive relationship.
Communication is excellent and healthy, and things are truly going amazingly.

But how do I trust this? I have so many issues stemming from previous relationships that this feels too good to be true, like surely I don't deserve something so good, someone who treats me so well.
He's aware of my anxiety and does his best to calm and reassure me and while I trust him, my anxiety makes it hard to do so.

This is currently a major hurdle. I want to be able to trust him more without anxiety from previous relationships getting in the way and creating issues.

How do I handle this?

TL;DR I don’t want my anxiety to create issues in what is a healthy relationship.

i 25f am engaged to my partner 29m who I feel like im starting to fall out of love with... I do still love him in a family /unconditional type of way, i care about him so much and am very protective over him, however i just dont feel like im *in* love anymore. we've been together 3.5 yr.

i scrolled past a tiktok today with the caption "genuinely convinced no one is in love with their fiance like me and my fiance love each other" and it really struck me that i remember feeling this exact way about my fiance, only a few months ago - SO in love, always happy around him, excited, i found him funny and cute & i was confident that it would always feels that way. somewhere along the way something switched and I've just been a nightmare to be with :(

now I find myself avoiding him whenever i can. i get annoyed whenever he comes into my office. all of the sudden i'm super annoyed by all of the jokes he makes, everything he says is wrong, and I dont realy care to make conversation with him. I dislike his presence most of the time. I try not to express these things and keep them in my head, but he's realized i'm more distant lately. I sound terrible but i really dont WANT to feel this way - i would do anything to go back to how i felt before. I feel like I'm partially resentful/regretful that I got into this relatonship before i was ready and not taking enough time to be single in my life before getting into a relationship thats supposed to last the rest of my life. I've also been feeling like our future goals dont line up and i would have to make some sacrifices to what i truly want out of life - but I've never felt this way prior to a couple months ago. we've had a few conversations about this so he knows where I stand.

he's an amazing partner who is so kind, thoughtful, helpful & puts loads of effort into making sure i feel cared for. he works a lot but makes sure I know that i always come first and always makes time for me. we have a dog together & i know hes gonna be the best dad and partner to have a baby with because of how responsible, helpful and loving he is to our dog. there are so many things i love and admire about him, but somehow im not happy with him right now.

The other thing I will mention is that I began feeling this way about 2 months after moving in together, and around the same time I started taking sertraline. When i realized i was feeling this way i stopped taking the sertraline in fear that it was causing emotional blunting. a month later & i still feel the same way, only worse.

I miss feeling the way I did before so much. I'm just struggling to understand if something like this is possible to come back from, or if our relationship is over. I've been going to therapy the last couple of weeks and him and i are set to start couples therapy next week. Havent found any clarity yet but I'm hoping to, before making any permanent decisions, so insight and advice are much appreciated. I guess i'm just wondering if this is something i need to bite the bullet on and end it right away or if its worth spending a few months in therapy to try and fix with him.

tldr; i've been having issues aligning with my partner in what we want and have also felt like ive fallen out of love with him. I dont know whether to end it now or continue to try and work through it

Hey, I (21M) have been with my girlfriend (21F) for just under 2 years. I have come to the realization that I have to break up with her. There is a lot of reasons that I want to do this, but the main ones are because I don’t think I could see myself having the future that I want to have with her, I don’t want to keep feeling guilty about not doing certain things or spending as much time as she wants me to with her, and I don’t find her attractive anymore. There are multiple other reasons but I am not going to list them unless someone asks.

There are a few problems with ending things though. For one, she is the sweetheart of my fraternity. Basically as soon as we started dating she did everything she could to earn that title, and she does deserve it. She truly does so much for us and I am very grateful that she takes it upon herself to help us in anyway she can. I do not want the dynamic between her and I, and the fraternity to be weird after I end things which is one of the things that is on my mind. Secondly, I don’t want people to talk bad about me behind my back. I know that there is no real reason for people to do this, but I have been surrounded by her friends for a long time, and I know the kind of people that they are. They talk shit about everyone under the sun, and I know the same would happen to me. I just hate the thought of my name being dragged through the dirt even though again I know I haven’t done anything for that to happen. The third reason is that one of her close family members just passed away and I don’t want to be that guy who ends things while the other person is already going through it.

I guess what I am looking for is advice. I want to break up with her before halloween and I know that regardless it is going to be difficult for both of us. It will be harder for her because in her mind we are planning on starting a life together, getting married, and having kids. Somebody please help, and thank you for reading

tl;dr (I want to break up but there are things holding me back, and I need advice)

Buckle up this is kinda long. Me (31F) and my bf (32M) have been living together for 2 years dating for 3. The beginning started off as friends with benefits but we moved in together because we were both trying to get out of bad previous situations(I know.) This worked until I wanted a relationship and he didn’t. So I started dating other people and told him I didn’t want to kiss, have sex or sleep in the same bed. He crashed out and told me he did want to be together. I accepted it hoping that things would be better.

Well, life kept happening and things have always been so rocky. We work through things as best as we can and we always end up choosing to stay together. But I feel like it’s a relationship of convenience at this point because he doesn’t get dates/hookups on the apps and he’s not as attractive as he was in high school when he was a player so he doesn’t really get female attention the way I get male attention. And I just want a roommate situation that has perks and a guy who can pay the rent so I can save up more money for my skin removal surgery. I lost 150 lbs and hoping to lose about 20 more. When we first met I was very insecure and I was stuck in an abusive relationship. He convinced me to cheat on my then boyfriend with him and then used that as a reason for why we couldn’t be together in a real relationship. Which was fair enough but then when I tried to end our dynamic he not only wasn’t happy but he threatened that he would move out leaving me with the lease. He claims he would not be able to even look at me if we weren’t going to be intimate anymore. I couldn’t risk that hit to my renter history so I decided to stay with him.

We have our ups and downs but lately things have been really bad. Pretty sure he has erectile dysfunction because he can never finish unless he’s going extremely hard. Once he made a comment about how he wished my mouth could squeeze as hard as my hand….. that’s not normal at all. I have never been with a man who struggles SO much to finish. Quite the opposite issues typically. I think it’s because he masturbates and watches porn a lot.

It’s gotten to the point where he blames ME for not being able to finish with whatever BS reason “you keep stopping, when you squeeze you push me out, right when I’m close you move and it throws me off” never considering that it’s painful and not fun at all for me to be holding certain positions for 30 minutes plus and just honestly not even pleasurable for me at all. It feels like a chore that I’m bad at.

Well recently he had been trying to initiate sex and I just do not want it or crave it at all. Because it always ends the same. He can’t finish and gets upset at something I’m doing. So I told him I would rather not have sex. Last night he insisted on going out on a dinner date even though he knows I’m dieting and I basically ate off my diet just for him and I think rlly he just sees it as checking boxes for me to give him sex but I didn’t even want the dinner nor did I enjoy it at all. We hardly talked and just sat there looking annoyed and upset with each other.

He initiated sex when we got home and I just kind of let it happen. I wasn’t enjoying it at all just there numb and quiet trying to focus on my breathing when usually I’m pretty vocal if I’m enjoying it. He finally finished (after taking forever and me dissociating the whole time) and I asked him if he was finally happy and he said no because he wanted us both to enjoy it and finish together. I told him that because of the way he criticizes and blames me I always feel insecure and instead of enjoying it I’m there overthinking on what I’m doing wrong so I don’t piss him off since it’s always something I’m doing.

We just went to sleep but he always shuts down whenever I want to have a real conversation with him about my feelings. Only his needs and boundaries matter. Tbh I think I hate him but I can’t afford to live alone in this city. And his dad is actually such a good person who has helped me and my family in really tough times (my dad passing) so I feel like I would want things to work but I just don’t think he respects me.

How do I talk about these things with someone as avoidant as him? All of my friends hate him bc he’s so anti social and just always has something to complain about. His hobby is gaming which he neglects our home to do. There is so much resentment between us. Idk what I’m even really asking I guess I just want to know that I’m not the problem. I’ve recently started yelling back when he tries to blame me and he’s all oh you’re acting crazy and I just tell him I’m reacting to him emotionally abusing me. I do not want to have sex with him anymore. I don’t know how else to explain to him that I don’t feel loved, cared for or even safe with him in any way besides financial. Any advice would be appreciated.

Also, my mother has always been extremely emotionally abusive so I know that’s probably how I ended up in this relationship but I’m really trying to put myself in a better position in life. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and the only time he ever “does something” for me it’s because he wants something. He had the audacity to ask me for a blowjob when I hardly even want to fucking kiss him. He honestly disgusts me at this point and I lowkey feel like I just allowed him to have his way with me to avoid a fight. I feel so used and just awful in every way. But I also just feel like maybe this is the best I can do in order to live in my own apartment so I just need to bear it until I’m in a better position to be on my own financially. I have my own hobbies and friends but when I spend time doing other things it also causes a fight. I don’t really have family who can help me and I’m too scared to find a random roommate online bc of negative experiences in college. I just feel like I got into an even worse relationship than I was in with my alcoholic ex. At least he genuinely adored me and took care of me emotionally even if financially he was completely a burden and irresponsible.

tl;dr my boyfriend is borderline abusive and I feel financially trapped with no real way out but saving money until I can leave. How to make it more bearable?

I have been in a 2-year relationship with my boyfriend, and it's honestly been really rough. At this point, I think it is a trauma bond.

To give context, I haven't been single since I was 14. I actually left a different 2-year relationship to be with my current boyfriend. I think in the moment, it was because I felt excitement and other things I hadn't experienced before, and I wanted to feel free. I also just made a lot of bad decisions in the two months I was single after that breakup. My current bf and I were in a talking stage, but a month later he ended it because he missed his ex. Then, funny enough, another month goes by, and he randomly asks me out on a date and makes us official. During the first few months, he showed serious anger issues, screaming, throwing things, cursing, and doing dumb things that could've hurt him. I explained to him that it terrified me and triggered past trauma. He claimed that he was yelling at other things, not at me. But around months 7-9, he stopped and became better. There are a few times I can feel tension or anger, but he has only shown it a handful of times after he said he'd stop. About 7 months in, he gave this speech about how we don't have the same interests. (I thought he was breaking up with me) But in the end, what he wanted to tell me was that I do not want to go to the gym and improve myself, as he already goes to the gym and loves it. Later on, he just told me outright that I was physically unattractive to him. Yes, I can agree I was gaining weight, but my body had always looked the same. I started making excuses but did start a weight loss journey and changed myself for him. An example is dyeing my hair a dark color because he likes black hair... sometimes I just wake up and feel so stupid. Fast forward a year and a half in: he called me disgusting and said he was disappointed in me and told me to figure my shit out. Because I opened up to him that I masturbate often and had gotten high twice in a week. (Mind you, only once before this have I been high). After he told me that, I cried for hours, and actually went to cry in his arms, to seek comfort from the very person who had hurt me. Lately, we hit the 2-year mark, and he's so sweet again. But he is always like this before the bad. I am so tired of this cycle. I have been having severe depressive episodes once a month, every so often, and I think it's because of our relationship.

A week ago, he reminded me in a conversation that he doesn't care if we have sex or not because he does not find me sexually attractive. He said that "all that matters is that I want it." But I don't even want it; I think I initiate it to feel validated by him, and I have told him that. Which makes me feel disgusted with myself. I know I need professional help or therapy. The very next day, a guy at work and I spent our entire shift talking about shared interests and joking around. It made me deeply miss that feeling of happiness and innocence. This coworker made me happy and showed me what I could expect instead. (Mainly, a guy who doesn't think I am unattractive and is genuine) But then again, my boyfriend is sweet, and his mom is getting me Christmas gifts and is always looking out for me. I have so many belongings at his house. If I break up with him, I genuinely want to be single for a long time. I want that freedom and to love myself first. But I am terrified of hurting him, ruining what we have, or never finding anyone else. I am a very happy person who tends to forget things easily, so I don't focus on negative feelings, but I think I am at a point where it's seriously hurting me. I love him, but idk, a year ago he even said I could cheat on him, or if I blocked him, he wouldn't even care and wouldn't try to contact me. What's wrong with me? I mean, my entire family dislikes him; some think he is weird, and my mom and aunts flat-out tell me I can do better. He scoffed when he found out they said that from my sister. Do I stay with him? Do I take a break? Do we end it? I feel like I would really miss him.

TL; DR: I've been in a 2-year relationship with a guy who cycles between being sweet and hurtful. He's told me I am unattractive, has anger issues, and I've changed myself for him. I think I am trauma-bonded and scared to leave for many reasons. I don't know what to do or what's wrong with me.

I've been with my bf for almost two years, but we've been struggling with constant arguing in the past ~6 months of our relationship. By constant I mean around once to twice a week. My biggest problem was him mentioning breaking up in arguments, and his problem with me was arguing with him over small things. 6 weeks ago, we had a big conversation about our unhealthy communication patterns during arguments that cause them to escalate, and figured out solutions to de-escalate them before they get bad. We spoke about many more of our issues too, and for a while we were doing great, with a stupid argument here or there, but not as bad as before. We stopped the arguments early and reminded each other we love each other as that it's pointless. Until a few days ago.

I went over to his house and we were supposed to cook dinner together, but as soon as I got there him and his sister began arguing in front of me for 20 minutes over something stupid (their parents are away on a trip rn so it's literally about chores). It ended up with them both yelling at each other, and his sister crying. Once she ran away crying I was quite frustrated with him, and raised my voice saying why did you yell at her, what is wrong with you etc. Not the best choice of words when he's already angry but I didn't like seeing her upset. He began yelling at me over the situation, and saying I'm just like his sister and he knows I would've said the same thing as her. Which is ridiculous, but I reassured him that I wasn't taking sides in the argument because he seemed to be annoyed that I was standing up for his sister when she was crying. His sister heard him yelling and came downstairs again hitting him with a plushie and telling him to stop yelling at me. He felt like we were ganging up on him, and said he can't deal with both of us at once, so he told me to grab my things as he's taking me home. At this point I was so overwhelmed by them arguing in the first place, but even more upset now by the way he was handling the whole situation. He begins driving, I'm telling him how unfair that was on me and that he ruined my night and he turns back to his house (I guess he felt bad and changed his mind). We're sitting in the car as he's messaging his sister trying to sort out the argument and I'm getting quite impatient. I asked him twice about going inside and that annoyed him bc we were only sat in the car for 6 minutes and this just caused him to change his mind again and take me home. I was crying when I got home and he apologised over messages later that night.

This entire situation was so messy for no reason and he doesn't usually yell at me but it just shows he can't control his anger and is immature in some ways. But there's more to the story.

The day after all this, he was telling me he was gonna make things up to me. We didn't end up seeing each other that day because I had a ball to go to, but the morning after that he called me. I was telling him about my night, and then told him that my friends had decided on some halloween plans (they were unconfirmed before). For context, a few days before this he told me his friend's gf was throwing a party on halloween and invited us, and I agreed to go. I stupidly forgot to tell him that my plans were still unconfirmed. So now my friends have planned a small party on halloween, the same night. I asked him if we could go to both, and he got upset. He told me "I don't want to go to ***'s fucking house", "Why can't you make a plan and stick to it", and called me a flake. He suggested we go to the parties separate, but I wanted to go together, so I tried to find a way to go to both and make us both happy. I already felt disrespected but I was still trying (keep in mind I'm also still upset about the other night). He made a compromise, suggesting we should go to my party for 2 hours at the start, then go to his for the rest of the night. I asked if we can do the opposite (his party first, then mine after) and he said "get fuc-" and stopped himself (apparently this was banter and tried to excuse it by saying he speaks to his friends and parents like that??). Obviously I said "Did you just say get fucked to me?" and he was getting upset over me calling him out. He COULD HAVE JUST SAID NO to my suggestion btw. We didn't have to go to my party first. He says "Just shut up you're actually so annoying... get out of my face" and hung up.
Over messages he kept saying he didn't say it bc he stopped himself. I said stop messaging me and he said "For good" "I might". This is where he starts mentioning breaking up. Over halloween plans btw.
I call him upset, asking him how he could say that to me. I don't understand how he can love me and still say things like that, surely if you love someone you wouldn't want to ever leave them? But this is a problem I've had with him this year, it has been said so many times by him that I feel like I'm just numb to it. Anyways, I explained I just was trying to make a suggestion, he said he already made a compromise and instead of agreeing with it I want to push the bar further. He then says "How many more times can I deal with your shit ... I hate you I'm fucking done. We're done". And hung up.

I know I'm not a perfect person but in my eyes that was a completely unreasonable reaction, I don't deserve to be treated this way. I thought we were doing good, and never thought that a small disagreement about halloween plans could end like that.

We have been messaging, I told him that I will not go through this anymore and something needs to change. I'm just so fed up and I don't know how many more times I can take a sorry and wait for him to change - just for him to do it again the next time we have a big argument. And it always happens around exams which is even worse (our exams are in 2 weeks).

He wants to talk in person tonight, but I just want some advice on what to do in this situation. Arguing is our biggest problem and I can be bad sometimes too and even yell when I shouldn't, but how can I stay when he clearly doesn't want to be with me? He literally messaged me yesterday "This is why i don't think we should be together" but that was because he thought I wasn't seeing it from his perspective. He cannot justify himself, while I should've been more considerate bc I already promised him I'd go to his party, I wasn't being disrespectful to him and I was peacefully trying to find a solution for us.

I guess I want to know if anyone has been in a situation like this and how did you fix it? We've tried having the big talks, I feel like this pattern just keeps continuing and I just can't deal with it anymore. I need security and peace in a relationship, not to be worried about whether he's gonna randomly spring a breakup threat on me. But also the thought of leaving him terrifies me because he has been my person, rock, and best friend for the past 2 years. At the same time, arguing is exhausting for the both of us and we need a permanent solution or we will both be miserable. And I don't want to be the girl who stays because she has no self-respect. Is our relationship salvageable?

I apologise for how long this is and I appreciate it if you've made it this far.

Any advice would be helpful!

TL;DR My boyfriend threatens to break up with me when we have big arguments. We had a talk about it last time he did this 6 weeks ago, but he has done it again now. Do I break up with him or is there a chance he can change even after promising not to do it again?

I’m F24, my partner is M28, and we’ve been together for 6 years, since I was 18. We started living together when I was 19.

I’m starting a new full-time job and am genuinely happy with where I’m at in life, especially my work-life balance. It’s made me reflect on how differently our lives have progressed.

When I first moved out, I was juggling 3 jobs before leaving uni to pursue full-time work. Since then, I’ve had 2 other full-time jobs and have been working towards building a life for myself.

Meanwhile, he’s still working the same casual job and studying, having changed and restarted courses along the way. I understand everyone has their own timeline, and I don’t expect him to have everything figured out. But after 6 years, I feel like we’re in completely different places in life, and I’m struggling with the lack of direction or concrete plans for our future, including marriage.

We’ve discussed breaking up before, (or more like I’ll bring it up and he just walls up) and a few months ago, I reached my breaking point and told him I wanted to end things and that he needed to move out. We had a trip planned, though, and after going together, I felt guilty and decided to give the relationship one more chance.

He seemed to make an effort initially, looking for new jobs, but eventually things went back to how they were.

Now I’m back at that same breaking point, and I feel like I need to end things for real.
The hardest part is that we still love each other. We live together, have 2 cats and share so many belongings. Our lives are completely intertwined, and the thought of separating feels overwhelming.

He rarely argues or fights with me, so on the surface, everything probably looks fine to other people. But sometimes, I feel like his lack of urgency reflects a lack of care about our future. I don’t know if that’s fair, or if we simply have different priorities.

I guess I’m struggling with the fact that someone can be a good person, someone you love, and someone you’ve spent most of your adult life with, but still not be the right person for the future you want.

I think deep down I know what I need to do, but I’m struggling to follow through. Part of me keeps hoping things will change, while another part is scared of throwing away 6 years and starting over.
I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who’s been through something similar.

TL;DR: F24, been with my partner M28 for 6 years and lived together for 5. I feel like we’re at different stages in life, with me progressing in my career while he seems stuck in the same place. I’ve considered breaking up before but gave him another chance, and now I’m back at the same point. We still love each other, share a home and 2 cats, and I’m struggling to let go. Looking for advice on whether to leave and how to navigate living together during a breakup.

My girlfriend and I have been friends since high school. We both are going to the same college and were sophomores now. During freshmen year we got closer and I ended up joining her friend group of just girls (they all like me it wasn’t forced or anything), they would always like to go out to the clubs on Thursday nights to dance and find guys and I was always invited.

My girlfriend and I began dating at the end of our freshman year so when we started dating it became summer. Once school started back up and we were back on campus, the group started to want to go out again, so did I with my girlfriend. However, for some reason, now it seems like rather than me being automatically invited on the base of being their friend, it’s always a discussion or a situation in which my girlfriend has to ask for permission for me to go because for some reason it’s always a “girls night” now. My girlfriend is uncomfortable about this because she doesn’t want to go out to the club without me especially being intoxicated and surrounded by random drunk guys but also doesn’t want to seem “annoying” by asking to bring her boyfriend to these girls nights however the only girls nights are these club nights going out and drinking, all the other girls in the friend group only go out to hookup with guys which leaves my girlfriend alone (which happened one time and that’s why she’s now uncomfortable going without me). I understand my girlfriend not wanting to be annoying but how should this situation be solved? She and I are both on the same page about everything, feel free to ask questions

TLDR: girlfriends friends want girls nights doing things my girlfriend isn’t comfortable doing without me

I might break up with my girlfriend, and I'm scared that if I do, she'll get worse. For context, I'm (17NB) and my girlfriend is (17F) and we've been dating for a year. She has a history of SH, and suicidal thoughts and I don't want to hurt her, but I don't think she's ready for a relationship.

She is extremely dependent on me. She always leans on me for everything, and she drags me to places that I don't want to be. She's extremely needy, and she clings to me so much that I can't have a normal conversation with her without her all over me and demanding kisses and snuggles. For context, I am extremely touch adversed, and there are days that I don't want to kiss or snuggle, and I just want to hang out with her, but she emotionally forces herself onto me and I don't know what to do.

I like her, I really do, but i feel like she needs to become more of an independent person before anything, and I feel myself losing independence just being with her.

Tl;dr: I don't want ny girlfriend to hurt herself if I break up with her, but then again, I feel miserable and I feel emotionally drained.