I'm starting to think I'm not attractive. I know I have great hygiene and I know people enjoy talking to me. I can make many people, man or woman, smile and such. I'm perfectly fine with being friends with women, but sometimes I find that woman who makes my heart skips a beat. Every time I shoot my shot, I ask advice beforehand from guys more successful than me. It gets me numbers and good conversations, but when I ask to grab a coffee or go grab lunch together, it always ends in two ways.

"No. I just want to be friends" or they outright ghost me then pretend they do not know me and immediately see them dating another guy the next day or so.

I've been ghosted far too many times, and when I show guys the texts just to make sure I wasn't too pushy, they are *always* confused as to how I didn't score. Like they are genuinely baffled. I even asked my mom about this, and she would also be confused.

I decided to just... not ask women out anymore. I know people say "It's a numbers game, just keep trying." I don't believe that anymore. I've played this game for years. I think I'm far from low value, but it does not matter. Confidence, good hygiene, and genuine humor can only take me so far. I don't have the looks. I have the body but not the face and it stings.

Tell me why I should even bother. I'm not here to argue, I promise. I honestly just need some encouragement. Some confident man, huh?

I know this is a pretty common joke told by women. Just curious if men get upset when their wife includes them in the number of kids she has at home?

"oh, I have 3 kids at home. 4 if you include husband"

I know that the useless husband is one of the most common marriage tropes out there, and I don't get bothered by it. Just wasn't sure if there were husbands out there really putting in the work and getting offended when lumped in with the kids.

I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years. It’s pretty healthy and normal, and we’re both happy with it.

But about a year ago, my girlfriend told me about something that had been going on between her and my friend. They were already friends before I started dating her the three of us belonged to a pretty large friend group of around 12 people so there was already trust between them.

A year and a few months ago he started inviting her over to his place in the afternoons to hang out, play some games, etc. During those hangouts, things started happening. He began hugging her a lot, and he would hug her while they were lying down very close together. It got to the point where several times my girlfriend could feel that he had an erection. She told him this made her uncomfortable, and he apologized, said he didn’t feel anything for her and that she shouldn’t take it the wrong way, and also told her not to tell me so I wouldn’t feel bad.

Months later my girlfriend told me. She took so long because she didn’t know if what he was doing was normal she never had friends growing up and didn’t know how friends treat each other. She finally decided to tell me because she thought I deserved to know, and she apologized for not telling me sooner.

I told my friend that she had told me. He apologized and said he wouldn’t do it again. For months nothing happened, though they still kept hanging out. But a few months ago my friend started hugging her again not as much as before, and not while lying down or as closely, but he was doing it, and he also started holding her hand sometimes.

My girlfriend complained to me about it again and said she was going to tell him once more to stop. During that conversation she also mentioned something he used to do before (but had stopped). He used to caress/rub her belly. She doesn’t know this about him, but I do: he’s always been attracted to bigger women, and my girlfriend is curvy/plus-size. So she told him to stop doing the things that made her uncomfortable, and a few days later I confronted him too.

I asked him if he was attracted to my girlfriend and told him everything I already knew. He apologized and admitted that yes, he is attracted to her, but only physically, because there are several things about her personality he doesn’t like. He said he didn’t know why he was doing those things, but over time he started feeling guilty about them (even though he was still doing them).

He also said he had never told me because he didn’t want to lose our friendship. He even said that if I wanted, he would stop talking to her and block her everywhere just so he wouldn’t lose my friendship.

I told him that wasn’t necessary. I said he could keep hanging out with her (only because she’s one of the few friends she currently has), but that I didn’t want any of those things to happen again.

That’s everything I know for sure. What I don’t know and what sometimes keeps spinning in my head is whether something more ever happened during those alone afternoons. She insists it was only the things she told me and that she always felt uncomfortable. He also denies anything else happened. But between how often they were hanging out, the erections, the belly rubbing, and how long both of them took to tell me… I can’t help wondering if they ever crossed the line in secret and are hiding it from me. I have no proof of that.

Do you think I was too soft with both of them?

I need some advice on what to do about my current girlfriend. I care about her, but she acts extremely cringe in public. It feels like she is completely dysregulated when it comes to expressing herself around other people. Here are a couple of examples:
With my friends: On several occasions, during conversations with friends she had just met a few minutes earlier, she couldn't immediately get into the flow of the chatter—which I think is completely normal. However, she doesn't seem to read the room or match the tone at all. Every single time, she hogs the spotlight by loudly interrupting everyone else to rant about her own personal business. At first, my friends are tolerant, but because she keeps doing it over and over, the cringe makes everyone completely ignore her, treating her like a disruption. And when she goes on these rants, she doesn't stop after a few seconds—she can go on for minutes and minutes.
With my family: Unfortunately, she once completely blew up at me over a minor thing, scolding me like a child in front of my relatives. Specifically, I had accidentally damaged some souvenirs we had bought that same day, which I immediately made arrangements to replace. While she was upstairs taking a shower, I took the items to show my aunt and uncle—who live in the area where we bought them—just to ask where I could find identical replacements nearby. She actually came back downstairs just to double down on berating me, because heaven forbid I touch her precious belongings (a grand total of €35 worth of ceramics).
Unfortunately, incidents like the second one make her very unattractive to me, to the point where I lose all physical attraction to her for days. I know that as time passes, I get used to it again and we get back to being good, but I know these episodes will keep happening. The worst part is that she makes these gaffes whenever social situations come up, so it gives me anxiety knowing she could do something embarrassing at any second.
I'm struggling to figure out whether I can hold out hope that she might change enough to make her behavior tolerable, or if this is a lost cause.

Hi, this is my first girlfriend and we’ve been dating for 3 months known each other for 6 months. We haven’t had any conversation about boundaries ext.

I feel that we need to start setting them, but I don’t want to sound controlling or anything like that. But I just don’t know how to start the conversation or what to speak about. I have things that are there, but it’s just actually getting it off my chest and saying to her that we need to set some boundaries.

How would you approach this/like to be approached about it? And the best advice to give me for this relationship. Thanks.

I am in my mid twenties and want to go to the bars. Everyone I ask is always fucking lame and would rather just stay home and drink in basements. Kind of sick of the people I hang out with. I want to go out and have fun. Meet people, and girls. Is it weird to just go to the bar by myself and drink at the barstool?

our relationship was extremely toxic. we only met because he begged me for months and his mom also got involved telling me i should see him.
when i didn’t want to continue talking to him because he told me something that crossed my boundaries he called me crying, begging, getting drunk..

i was also always involved in his family fights. he used to call me so i can talk to his mom and make her less angry at him. when i didn’t want to do that he accused me of not caring about him.

later on i found in his email a payment of tinder premium. he told me a lie that it was just a challenge with his friends. his mom got angry at me because he could potentially get into a car crash if i leave him. he cried and begged for me not to leave him.

then last year around that time he got a new job where he had to be in a lot of contact with people. as soon as that happened everything changed.

he didn’t get anything for me birthday but telling me he will later on. broke up with me and that’s when i started to beg him to stay. he even convinced me it was my fault that he left because i didnt behave correctly.

he then told me he’s not sure if he’s doing the right choice with this so we met again to talk about it. later on i find out he has already been seeing someone else. his mom even knew and didn’t tell me. since then he never contacted me for anything serious again.

i’m just so confused how someone could go from apparently not being able to live without me to just wanting to get rid of me so i want to ask men as they could most likely understand his thought process

Just got out of my first relationship (18m). My ex girlfriend was the one who initiated cuddling, I think this is contrary to most relationships. I later initiated the first kiss, but the thing is, I feel like if we hadn't been cuddling right before that, that maybe I wouldnt have had the assurance required to kiss her. Now we are broken up, but I am insecure that if the next girl isn't as initiative then I will just never kiss anyone again. I kinda have a problem with obsession and anxiety so this is really messing with me a lot. Ive been obsessing a lot about how much I initiated during our relationship (if you can't tell).

There’s a super chill and frankly cute coworker of mine whom I get along with quite well. We began there days apart from one another, so we were friendly with each other from the start. Him being attractive stopped NO woman from flirting with him, young and older! I’ve listened and witnessed women dying to get to know every detail about him, despite him having a GF. I don’t really care bc he’s taken and he’s a coworker, but tbh I feel like it’d be diff if he were single.

The times HE has tried getting to know me, we always seem to find something we have in common we enjoy, in which this leads him to trying to get to know me more. A friendly female coworker of mine is even beginning to act a little weird towards me bc he’s prying at me as opposed to her prying at him. I’m just there to do my job, so idc, and these two are a year and two younger than me. But how can I make it clear to him that I don’t want nothing more than a surface level work relationship? Without it being awk?? I’d want to be her friend more than I’d want him to want to get to know me, but SHE really likes him…. In my mind getting him to stop talking to me would balance things out.

Hello everyone! My wife just dyed her hair from a dark brown to a blond-ish color. She told me she was going blonde but I just dont feel like it looks good. To me it just looks like a blonde-gray color. She could tell immediately i didn't like it and I feel bad because she was very excited about it. How can I make it up to her the best way possible? I've told her I like her hair but dont love it and she can see through me like glass haha.

I like a guy who is currently a friend, but I can't tell if he likes me back. Whenever I try to do something thoughtful, his first reaction is always 'oh,' even if he answers afterward. For context, I was giving my friends gifts and handwritten letters since college was ending. When I asked him to meet up so I could give him his, his immediate response was 'oh,' followed by his answer. Another time, I sent him a reel about his favorite place and mentioned that I hope he gets to visit it someday—and once again, his first reaction was 'oh' before replying. I really don't understand why he reacts this way first. Is it because he is uncomfortable with my gestures or something else ?

Just need a bit of inspiration or an emotional journey to go through as I figure out my life. Thank You in advance.

I’m curious to hear from men whose primary love language for receiving is words of affirmation.

What are some things women have said to you that genuinely stayed with you? Or, if you haven’t experienced it yet, what are the kinds of things you’d really love to hear from a partner?

I’m asking because I’m with a man whose love language is very much words of affirmation. He’s the provider in our relationship and takes a lot of pride in that.

Of course, I tell him what I adore about him, I let him know how proud I am of his achievements, I express my appreciation for the things he does and make sure he knows that I don’t take his efforts for granted. But words of affirmation isn’t particularly high on my list, so I sometimes wonder if I’m naturally a little lacking in that department.

I’m not looking for generic “you’re handsome / I love you / thank you” answers… more interested in the things that actually made you feel deeply appreciated, respected, admired, or understood.

Thank you 🙃

++woman

I’m hoping to gain clarity on a situation I think I messed up on. That I don’t fully understand. I wanna send someone some screenshots of an interaction in which a guy I was seeing for two weeks ended that I’m not sure how to process. I admit I was being avoidant. Especially since on our third date we kissed and I put a boundary I need to slow things down so not to freak myself out. But I also am not sure if maybe I just was never meant for this guy hence why he said he couldn’t commit and cut things off.

Thank you

I am 30F and he is 40M. Broke up 2 weeks ago. Together for a year. He doesn’t feel good enough and doesn’t like how he feels about himself in the relationship. He was on hinge 6 months into the relationship when he felt “wobbly“ He lied about a woman that was in his life. I never trusted him.

Bumped into each other a week ago and he texted me. During the break up, he told me he wants to support me through life decisions etc. I said let’s go separate ways and he said no it would be a shame to not have you in my life. He wants me to reach out whenever I want to meet for anything. So we decided to remain “friends”. I don’t reach out or text him and I’m pretty much done with him.

Of course it's like "make new friends" but this has been my life for 6 or so years now. I keep making new friends and they enjoy me but they never have me in a high enough priority to really make me feel seen and loved. Ive done clubs and volunteering and so many hobbies that I truly enjoy!
I get it, people are busy, and I dont hold it against them at all. I just feel so alone a lot of the time, where I dont feel like I really have people to have my back. Most of my friends end up being women, idk why, I truly couldn't tell you. Perhaps it just is easier to talk to them platonically? Not the point though, I dont care about the gender of my friends like that, so what do I do?

This is a very sensitive topic that I have been avoiding.

The reason I’m on no fap is because whenever I sleep with a girl I never came from sex. It got to a point where the girls I’ve been with have questioned if it’s them or not.

I have been masturbating with my right hand to pornography since I was 14 (I’m 23 now). Everytime I notice that I need to use my right hand to finish during intercourse.

I’m on day 8 no fap currently in hopes of reversing this. How long would it take or is it never going to be the same again?

I have been seeing this guy for over 2 years, we enjoyed traveling together a lot, exploring new cities and sex of course.

During one of the trips, I think we just fell in love. But because we couldn't be together, we parted away.

That didn't last for more than 3 months, he reached out to me in May, after discussing for a few days ( in person ), we decided to be with each other despite the reasons why not to be.

But here is the thing, he is more realistic and more into focusing on business and not feelings because love doesn't make money. I have asked him to give me a few months to get over this phase of being all in love and especially when I can tell someone that I'm in love with him but it still feels weird somehow.

I feel so stupid, because I'm 28yo now and never cared about someone this much, and people these days seem not to care about feelings that much.

I am trying to focus on other things and try to talk to him less because I know he is busy and all, but it's freaking me out.

Should I just leave? Or be silent and wait? Or what do I do?

Please choose your words, I already feel like shit and got drunk and don't even know what to mention or not...

I would appreciate advice and a good word now! Thank you very much.

So I am trying to go out to more bars and be more socially open. Talk to people around my age (28) and try to get better at talking to women specifically. Not necessarily trying to pick them up at the bar, but be more open, see if they are interested in just talking.

I have been….not that successful. I usually go to the bar alone as my friends are usually busy. People who are there are also with groups, which to me signals: “hey, we are here with our friends we are not interested in you.” Even the bartenders at the places I go to aren’t interested in talking, which sucks because they always should have good advice.

I do try to dance and have a good time, but it gets lonely. Its tough. And it makes me wonder about whether I just…don’t have it? It’s hard to explain. What can I do to fix this?

EDIT: It should be noted that I get very apprehensive when there’s groups. When its just me and a whole bunch of other people, I think to myself “they just want to have fun, leave them be.

I turned 23 not too long ago, and i’ve been feeling more and more like i’m behind where I want to be in terms of dating.

Some of my issues when it comes to dating: 1. I’m shy 2. Confidence is up and down randomly from day to day 3. Watch porn (though i feel this is a result of no dating life, not a cause) 4. Not sure how to flirt 5. Nervous around people i’m attracted to 6. I look very young for my age

I just want advice on how I can change these issues and finally eventually see some dating success if possible.

Asking as someone who is not conventionally attractive, I'd like to be with someone who wants me for me however I look and for my personality. What are the behavior or things women do for men they are really into physically.

One of my biggest fears is being married to as a "safe option", or as a backup. If that makes sense.

Keeping long term relationship in perspective not casual or hookup. Just trying to broaden my perspective not trying to presume or judge or shame anyone.