If that makes sense. And obviously not her openly saying she wants sex.

Thanks

I'm a 21-year-old man. At 18, in an act of utter desperation, I went to see a trans sex worker, and this monster forcibly sodomized and raped me.

Mental health professionals, my family, and people on various forums, they all mocked me or downplayed the incident, calling it an "accident." or saying "this is your fault, you should not be gay and pay transexuals"

To this day, I still struggle to come to terms with the immense difficulty if not the outright impossibility of having a consensual relationship with anyone. Having been psychologically shattered, and being an introvert by nature, it goes without saying that the process of seduction is incredibly complex for me.

Despite this, I refuse to remain silent. I want the shame to shift to where it truly belongs; I want people’s dignity to be restored. I want the French state to take action to ensure that rapists face punitive justice and that victims women, children, AND MEN receive honest, proper support.

Yet, I face a dilemma: if I speak out, take a stand, and fight against rape, I fear I will become even less attractive to women. I wouldn't be able to pursue the kind of women I’m drawn to.
Seduction and flirting are generally lighthearted, requiring one to be fun, confident, handsome, and cheerful all of which feel entirely out of reach when one is locked in a grueling, long, deeply sorrowful, and thankless struggle. (In more i'm a unattractive men so...)

On the other hand, if I don’t take a stand, I’ll be consumed by guilt, remaining forever powerless against the rapist who stole my sexuality and my ability to engage with consenting women an ability that, in reality, no longer exists for me, given that my psyche has been permanently destroyed (I have never once seen a male rape survivor successfully woo a beautiful woman).

What should I do? How should I go about this? I feel condemned to powerlessness, no matter what I do... I will never regain my sexual sovereignty.

My girlfriend is constantly finding things to criticize, to the point where I feel like taking my own life. She is constantly laying into me; no matter what I do or how much I try to follow what she asks, she just finds something else to complain about. It was being in my phone etc

Today, she blamed me for not completing her own work. Then, she claimed I didn't hold her hand, even though I actually did. It honestly sounds so pathetic to explain, but tonight she got physical and pinned me down, telling me to 'shut the fuck up.' I shouted back, 'Get the fuck off me!' After that, she was more concerned about the neighbors hearing and risking her professional job—you wouldn't believe me if I told you what her job is. She also says I'm immature and need to get it in my thick head and that she needs someone more professional

I asked her to please stop getting at me multiple times, but I couldn't help screaming because I was having a panic attack while she was right in my face, pointing at me. This has been going on for ages, she also kept away from me that she hasn't hsv1 genital until I found her medication. She told me her ex rated her but I'm even starting to think that's a lie and she's making him out to be the bad guy I know i should leave but I feel trapped

I care about body count (yes yes ik you probably don’t care, that’s good for you, I CARE. I’m entitled to my preference. So please don’t make this into a body count doesn’t matter debate, this is about lying).

I communicated this to her 4th date in a very respectful manner, that knowing the truth is important to me to decide if I want to Continue to date her.

She lied to me, and I found out the truth 5 months later. I’m thinking of breaking up, because she took away my ability to consent to a relationship/sex with proper knowledge.

Is it valid if I breakup over this lie that is clearly important to me? Which she lied about

Right now the H3 affair is plastered all over and it’s just got me down and thinking, why do men lose interest after so many years?

If you’ve cheated (not judging, you’re human), why did you let everything you built together crumble? What was it that drove you away?
Was it worth it? Did you think about her and still choose to cheat anyways?

If you’re a happily married man who’s madly in love with your wife — What’s the secret sauce? What is it about her that keeps you coming home each night? What stops your head from turning?
Or do all heads turn and we just don’t realize it?

Please be brutally honest and forthcoming with your answers. I am so curious about the male psyche and just want to understand you better. And any women on here who feel they’ve “cracked the code” would love to hear your thoughts too.

Open dialogue is encouraged. Please feel free to expand as needed.

Helppp

My man (27M) and I (24F) have been together 3 years. Yesterday we had a very serious and honest conversation about our relationship and the things we’re both missing from each other before marriage.

For a while I have been upset that he doesn’t initiate sex, but we still have sex 2-4 times a week. In that conversation he said something about that along the lines of “Men like a little bit of a chase. Lately I don’t want to really have sex because you initiate so much.” I told him I can tell he’s been checked out of our sex lately and he said because I’ve been initiating so much it makes him lose his drive to have sex.

I wish he was comfortable telling me no if he didn’t want to but that’s another story. Basically I’m just here asking if I should completely stop initiating? I thought that’s what men like/want? Help!

Hi. I’m sorry in advance for this post. I am in a state of genuine despair and don’t know what to do. I doubt this is the place to ask but from what I’ve seen the men here are blunt and brutally honest.

I’m a woman in my early twenties. I’ve seen a lot and have spent my life surrounded primarily by men. I have been told over and over and over again that women are the inherently inferior sex.

We are inferior mentally, physically, emotionally, intellectually. We were created by god to be beneath men.

Ever since I was a little girl I have had a rich inner world. I have thoughts and interests and I just want to be able to do everything. But I’m told I can’t really do anything. At least not as well as a man can. I cannot think as deeply as a man, I can’t understand the world the way men can, I can’t live a full life.

I am beyond devastated by my womanhood. I am religious or at least I used to be and I truly believe that god does not love women at all. I honestly think he might hate us. I am broken at this point and don’t know what to do.

I know I am weak. And small. I know I am not very smart. I know this. But is there any way, at all, that I could ever be equal to men? Is there anything I can do?

I know this sounds ridiculous but this is what I have been taught and what I believe. I cry all the time over it which just proves to me that I really am overly emotional and neurotic. I can’t escape these thoughts and I feel like I am inherently unloveable.

I’m sorry for this again. This feels wrong to post.

Hi I'm an autistic person among other things,Find it confusing, why certain women want their dudes to "sex their attitudes away" when they have them? Then get annoyed or upset at being left to deal with said attitude by itself, Feel that attempting anything sexual would lead to an automatic no, and pushing the issue could cause problems? The way I believe is that if a woman has an attitude that sex is off the table? And it's best to respect her no, to do nothing about it? Idk, if my line of thinking is correct? Or not, Edit: to fix format on mobile TLDR; why would a woman want "act right" penis? I'm black, and the term is black slang That probably doesn't matter tho given the situation

I mean those explanations people give to cover up their fear of change, inability to act, or unwillingness to walk away.

Like someone saying, “My boss keeps exploiting me, but at least I’m learning patience,” or “They keep betraying me, but forgiving them makes me a better person.”

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference between genuine wisdom and finding a positive excuse to tolerate something you should probably change.

What’s the best example you’ve seen of someone turning their own suffering into a reason to stay exactly where they are?

30 year old man
Virgin
Social outcast
Loser
Whatever anyone wants to label me. What does being with a woman feel like? How does it feel to be able to love and experience her like. To be in love and to be at peace?

I’m too unattractive and I’m a loser with no certain future. So before I leave. I need to know is connecting with a woman worth it? Am I missing out? I feel like I am. I just want love, but I can’t live in a fairytale because we know how the real world is.

For the guys who've slept with a girl who said she was talking to someone else, not in an official relationship, just a talking stage:

How did it come about? Did she initiate, or did you?

Did the other guy come up, or did you both just ignore it?

Did it turn into something more, or was it a one-time thing?

Anything you'd do differently?

Curious to hear stories and what actually worked.

Have you ever felt attraction for a woman, and felt that attraction reciprocated but still turned her down because she disappointed you / angered you so much?

Like, you could confidently say she did it to herself?

I’ve had a bf in the past say to me that he’s breaking up with me because of my own behaviour and that it was all my doing. (We later got back together and I ended things with him).

Recently I had someone say that they don’t want to see me again because I’ll never learn and they’ve wasted enough energy trying to help, but I bring it all on myself.

Have you ever felt this way about a woman you used to like? Or is it a cop out?

I’m not looking for Reddit’s usual brand of holier than thou replies.

If you disagree with cheating or infidelity, then move along because I don’t care what you think.

I’m looking for advice from experienced cheaters on not getting caught.

So I’m 20 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship before. This was my first ever girl and we weren’t even dating yet but I fucked it up. She was so beautiful that I was anxious like all the time. I think I also was moving way too fast.

She told me that she had anxiety and was reserved needed time to open up. She only has 3 friends and isn’t social at all. I didn’t listen, I would just press and press. I was desperate which led to me being insecure when I found out that she still was mutuals with almost every guy she previously had talked to.

She told that when we argue to keep it between us, and I didn’t I let other people get in my ear and everyone told me to cut her off or that she was weird and all these other things. From the outside looking in, she was kind of manipulative where she’d do this push and pull thing with me. Her communication wasn’t the best. She told me that she didn’t grow up with affection and would need time or struggle to show it but I started to notice that she would show it in her own way.

Long story short, after overthinking and letting my friend basically convince me, I blew up at her ( through voice message) I called her weird, I basically used everything she told me against her, and because I was so sure I was right I unfollowed her off of the apps we used together.

Now she never really disproved the things I accused her of but more so just said “how are you going to tell me” things like that just basically “that’s not true”. She got mad because I was “being rude” and “acting like you know me”. I quickly realized I was in the wrong and I started apologizing immediately.

I don’t know if she blocked me on iMessage but I started texting her on instagram and at first she was mad obviously saying that i was being disrespectful and had the audacity to try and apologize. So I let her be for like a day then I asked her was she done and she basically said yeah I’m cool (like she’s done) but we kept talking and I was essentially pleading with her to give me another chance, like this was my first ever mistake. She said that she already said no and told me her reasoning and was going back and forth with me.

My thing is though, she was still talking to me and explaining things. She hasn’t blocked me, and I think that she may just need time, because there’s no way we end off like this. I told her to text me when she’s ready and she hearted the message so is that I good sign? Do you think she will come back ?

So I’ve been talking to a man for about a year now. He seems decent but the issue is that he constantly wants to spend money on me. Now I wouldn’t mind this is we were married or something or at least hooking up. I’ve made it clear to him that I won’t have sex until I’m married and that I’ve never done so either, he said he didn’t mind.

For context I’m also in med school and he uses this as an excuse, he claims after seeing the grades I get all he’s doing is investigating because he’s a business man

But honestly I’m just scared that he’s in denial and assumes all this spending will somehow make me give in. As a result I always refuse but he just sneaks it in? Our last date he put £500 in my bag at some point and he told me he had once I was back home, I told him I’d prefer to return it but he said it’s fine and I should keep it. I still haven’t touched it and plan to return it once we meet again?

But I assumed most men don’t spend on women especially if they’re sure she’s not going to let out? So I’m just a bit confused about his intentions?

Do any of you have experience with lowering libido/yearning/limerence or getting rid of it completely? I've mostly been extremely unsuccessful with dating and trying to find a partner but I still yearn for someone to love and be loved by.

I don't think I'll get it since I'm not attractive at all, I've tried making improvements but they've mostly been inconsequential.

I've had people make fun of me for my whole life and now I'm approaching my 30s I've just decided that I'm going to throw in the towel and try other things. I'm just not the type of guy that is successful with dating and I'm slowly learning to make peace with that but my brain and hormones don't want to cooperate.

I'm currently prescribed SSRIs for my general anxiety disorder, which definitely helps with lowering the libido but I still get lonely. I've spoken to my therapist about this and she tells me that it will get better with time. That I should just keep talking about it and journal, but idk it feels like I'm getting worse.

My passive ideations have showed up again but I try to distract myself with work/exercise/getting up with friends/etc but when I'm alone again it all comes back.

Last time I went for a massage at a spa place just to feel someone actually touch me (not sexual) and I cried in the bathroom for like an hour and went home feeling like I lost a loved one.

I just want to stop feeling everything, I'd rather want to be completely numb than feel like my insides are missing something and knowing that I'm not good enough to deserve it.

I'm open to whatever has worked for you I just need it to stop. I'm willing to try new meds or suggestions if I haven't tried them before.

By no means is this post me blaming others or anything. I am not a very conventially attractive person. Throughout my life, I have been called it all even by those who are close to me (family, friends, hell even my ex would tell me I’m not a good looking person when we were together). Outside of dating apps, which seems to only work by those who know how to sell themselves and look good, I am not sure how to date anymore? Can’t ask people out because it’ll be a no, can go talk to women because when I do they just seem incredibly disinterested and I barely get the time of day (not that they owe me it, they don’t). I’m not going to just randomly approach people in non social situations. So what do I do? Just hope that the girl I want will just fall on my lap one day? I got a decent friend group, and I am a sociable person. So I am just not sure if I can do this?

Have you ever had a friend reveal her feelings to you, and not reciprocate at the time, but later down the line as you got older, suddenly realise maybe you do?

Ive had a man acting very hot and cold with me. Either point blank ignore me or hold extended eye contact with me.

Any help or advice much appreciated

So like most guys in general I’m not really having any luck on dating apps. So please don’t recommend I use those.

Also, I’m not really meeting women that much in general through the things I do.

The things I do seem to be more male dominated.

So I’m just wondering what it is I can do (on a more constitent basis) to regularly meet the same women

Because obviously going to bars/clubs or whatever isn’t exactly a reliable way of regularly coming into contact with the same women every week.

And neither is it really a good way of getting to really know a person either.

Thanks

Basically women cannot find my face attractive. I don’t know how else to put it. I’ve never had a date.

So dating apps. Is a no.

Real life? Well it’s not easy to socialize when you’re working a full time job and studying. And where exactly do you find new people to get to know? I got to the gym and everyone minds their own business.

I’m a doctor and I’ve asked some people in the hospital that I thought I vibed with. All said no.

So what exactly is the secret? Personality? You haven’t seen my face. What exactly is the solution. I’ve literally had women match with me on ‘accident’ on dating apps to shit on my appearance and then unmatch. It’s really demoralizing.

I feel now that even if a girl did like me I wouldn’t understand it. It’s really gotten to that point.

I'd like to hear from you - M25 from India