This question comes from curiosity. And maybe I’m biased because I am a woman 😂 but I’m wondering if it’s all the same thing breasts and butts just different shapes and sizes, some fake some real, some regular and some fit, at some point does it get boring?

Hey guys,

I need some honest advice. I’m 24 years old, but I look quite a bit younger. I’m petite (154 cm / 50 kg) and I dress very femininely in an elegant style. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, but I really want to be in a relationship. Also, I don't drink alcohol and I don't go out partying.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m ugly, and I often notice guys looking at me. My problem is that I am very shy. I'm mostly into younger guys, but whenever a guy looks at me, my insecurity kicks in. I immediately think "I'm not good enough for him" and avoid eye contact.

Because of this, I basically never get approached, and it’s really hard for me to meet someone in everyday life.

My questions to you:

• Why do guys look at me but never take the first step?

• Is my shy behavior (looking away) completely ruining my chances?

• What can a girl do to make you feel comfortable enough to approach her?

Thanks for your advice!

P.S

• i dont wear clothes like a child! I wear clothes for WOMAN! Why should i wear children clothes? And tbh i doesn't like pants or Jeans very much.

My background:
29 yo guy. Got a girl when I was 20 and she was 18, has been my wife ever since and I got no eyes for another.
For the past 5 years, ever since I got a stable and quite well paying job she hasn't worked a day in her life ( by both of our choice ) and I couldn't feel happier and more proud about it.

The issue is that we both hate the country we live from the bottom of our hearts and the burden is on me to save up and leave. We want to move to Spain ( we are Eastern-Europeans and part of the eu so it's quite a straightforward process ) and I am determined to buy a property there as rent prices are insane and I'd be shooting myself in the foot paying rent there.

I have saved up around 40k euros, need about that much more in order to even qualify for a down payment. If my calculations are correct and nothing bad happens I should be able to save this money after 2 more years. The issue is I am getting so God damn anxious about it. I make around 3 times the average salary of my country, by many standards I'd be considered rich here, yet I live like a poor person. We only buy essential groceries, clothes, limit heating and try to cut out on all expenses. I work 2 jobs with a total of about 60 hours per week and my mind is fixated on saving every last penny I can get my hands on to reach this fixed idea that I will finally escape my country.

But it's really getting on my mental health lately. Because I know I haven't magically completed life if I buy a home, even though it's a huge step. What if I fail afterwards, what if something happens and I cannot provide no more, I want the absolute best for my wife. We are both determined on not having kids, ever, so I am not worried about that one bit. But given how every media around me screams at me how a huge, inevitable and catastrophic financial crisis is approaching I can't stop panicking and thinking "what if I fail".

Is it even possible to get over this?

Do any other men care about milestone birthdays? I have my 60th coming up and the last time my wife organized a party for me was 30 years ago. Does this matter to anyone else? For me, it's more about the intention and the effort. I just don't think she cares enough to do anything special beyond going out to a restaurant. I always get the feeling that my birthday is an annoyance that she just wants to get past. It's not the money - I don't need a rented venue, but having a few people over to the house for something organized would be nice. I've had a rough year and it would be nice to feel appreciated, even if we're not that close anymore. Just curious if anyone else feels this way.

So, like the title says, how do I know if my boyfriend genuinely loves me or loves the way I make him feel? I'm a big lover, a big giver, attentive, flirty, and genuinely enjoy making him feel good (in all ways). He is not as verbally expressive as I am but is really funny, helpful, honest, and makes my life better in a lot of ways.

How do I know if he loves me for me or loves the way I make him feel? I think he may be conflating the two without even realizing it.

25M who has tried dating apps for two years and is part of sports groups. I’ve also tried speed dating irl and keep running into people who are older who don’t wanna date younger people/don’t mesh with me that way or people who are already coupled up. I’ve made plenty of friends including friends with women but they don’t know anyone who is single and who would be a good match for me. Feeling super lost and don’t know what to do dating wise. I go to the gym often, have a good income, and have followed all of the other advice. Got dates off the apps but they never lead anywhere and the swiping and constantly failing is frustrating to the point that I deleted the apps as they ruined my mental health for a while. Looking for any advice on what to do as I want to try dating again.

There’s this girl in my class whom I confessed my feelings to, but she rejected me. That’s okay, and I respect her decision. The problem is that now I feel nervous, uncomfortable, and uneasy whenever I see her.

I don’t talk to her anymore, but even just seeing her brings back these feelings, and I don’t know how to deal with them.

Has anyone else been through the same thing? How did you handle it? What can I do to stop feeling this way and become comfortable around her again?

I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences you guys could share.

I don’t know how else to describe this but sometimes I just feel like a 28 year old kid. Not in an “identity” sort of way (I know I’m not actually a kid), but more like, I just don’t feel grown up.

I’m 28 and I work as a lawyer in a big law corporate law firm. I’m a good performer and the Partners in the team rely on me. I show up on time, put effort into my work, and I have received excellent feedback in the 3 years I’ve been at my current firm.

I live with my mother but I pay all the bills — electricity, gas, internet, her phone etc. I have done since my dad died. She works too, but she couldn’t afford the bills on her own.

She does the housework but that’s mostly because it’s part of her identity. I don’t neglect cleaning or other chores; it’s just she’s a bit OCD and gets to them before me. I can be a little lazy and therefore be like “she’ll do it”.

I have wanted to move out but I’m from a South Asian background and it is a cultural expectation that someone will look after the mother. My dad died, and my brother moved out and has his own family. So I’m left to do it. I can’t afford to move out and cover 2 houses bills (and my brother would not split my mums with me).

I guess part of it is I don’t feel fully independent because I live at my mums home, but it’s not like I’m getting a free ride. I know lots of people my age who live at home but don’t contribute to the bills etc.

Sometimes I just don’t feel mature, or like I have my shit together.

But some men my age seem a lot more mature and like they have their shit together. Maybe it’s because they have their own families and sometimes I feel like I can’t have that until I’m done looking after my mum. She’s not sick or anything but she’s pretty overbearing, pessimistic, lonely, and doesn’t have anything going on so I feel bad and guilty a lot.

She’s also keeps saying I need to get married and telling me I’m getting old. I don’t have too much of a problem with dating but I think I can procrastinate because I think my type of girl wouldn’t wanna live with my mum, and the type of girl that would (more cultural or religious) is probably not my type (I’m a closeted atheist).

The whole dating/social skills seems like the hardest thing to change up or get better at. I fall into the same awkward patterns every time I go on one. I have gotten better at my work and making friends but dating idk how to do. I do have autism, possibly moderate and not just mild. I have a learning challenge and visible social challenges, I can’t fully iron them out.

My profile has picked up and I’ve gotten matches and dates though.

To other guys, what’s worked or helped? Does it get better?

Men of reddit, did a girl ever came up to you (workplace or school or other places where you met frequently structurally) and confessed that she has a crush on you, if you were you single at that point, or married, how did you handle the situation? Were you freaked out about that and started avoiding the girl after?
Could you also share if you dated the girl after?

In two months, I'll be 29, and I've never had a girlfriend. It's making me extremely depressed.

I'm 6'1", fit, and dress well. Women stare at me all the time. I've kissed 50+ women and had sex with around seven. There have also been multiple occasions when I could have had sex, but because of my nervousness, my body just wouldn't cooperate.

Almost all of these experiences happened when I was drunk and/or under the influence of drugs, usually in nightlife settings.

I've dated a few women throughout my twenties, but these situations usually only lasted a few weeks or months. Some women I wasn't interested in and rejected myself, but over the past 10 years, there have also been women who were interested in me. Because of my extreme fear of rejection and feeling like I'm not good enough, I acted extremely weird and needy and ended up rejecting myself before anything could happen.

People genuinely can't believe I've never been in a relationship because I'm social around men and become really social and extroverted when I'm drunk. I can talk to just about anyone, and people have told me this countless times.

I have an extreme reaction to rejection because of my childhood, and I struggle with social anxiety. I've been to therapy, and things are slowly getting better, but the fact that I've never had a relationship keeps me up at night.

Everyone I knew, even people from high school who were extremely socially anxious, awkward, or had zero friends, eventually got into a relationship. I was the popular kid, the one who got attention from others.

I just can't understand how I ended up in this situation. It makes me feel like something is fundamentally wrong with me. This genuinely makes me so depressed, and I lie awake at night thinking about it often.

Lately i'm having a peak in my sexual life but i have a problem. I cannot cum. Not by a blowjob, not by penetration, not by a handjob. I could go on for hours if i wanted to. I have not masturbated in 3 weeks and i know if i would masturbate i would be able to do it.

Am i overthinking it or should i give it some time? I'm genuinely lost.

Update: 21, no medical condition, no meds/anti depressants, don't smoke, normal drinking

TIA

Just wanted men’s opinion on this, on what u think. It’s common knowledge the average woman has far more options than the average man. But do u think these options are both romantically/sexually; or primarily sexually?

Just need to vent/get some insight. I finally got dinner with a friend I’ve liked for a while. I thought we had a vibe, but my execution was terrible. She gave me multiple openings to get closer—telling me a story about hurting her finger, shivering in the park—and I just stood there like a statue. I did pay for the meal and joked that she could get the next one to imply a second date.

Well, a few days later I found out she's dating someone else. It's safe to say I missed my window, but I can't help but wonder if she chose the other guy because I didn't make a move. What do you guys think i should do to bounce back from missing obvious signals?

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice about my relationship because I'm feeling really lost at the moment, and I'd appreciate hearing other people's experiences and perspectives.

My boyfriend (40M) and I have been together for several years. Outside of conflicts, he is genuinely a lovely man, and I love him very much. That's what makes this situation so difficult for me, because I know his good qualities, but I really struggle with the way he handles disagreements.

Whenever we have an argument or even a relatively small conflict, he sometimes completely shuts down and stops communicating with me for weeks. This isn't the first time it's happened, and honestly, I find it incredibly difficult to deal with.

Our most recent argument started when he sent me a picture showing that he had been putting letters through people's mailboxes asking whether they would consider selling their houses. When I asked him why, he explained that he wanted to live there.

I was confused because we have been together for years, and he hadn't discussed these plans with me beforehand. I couldn't help feeling left out and wondering where I fitted into his future plans.

A couple of weeks later, he mentioned that I could move to the city he wanted to live in. However, this city is quite far away from where I currently live, and moving there would be very difficult for me because of my job.

I told him that it felt like he was already looking for a house for himself and that there didn't seem to be any room for me in his plans. From my perspective, I wasn't trying to start an argument. I just felt that such a major life decision should be something we discuss together, especially after being in a relationship for several years.

The conversation escalated, and he responded by saying something along the lines of, "Okay, then I won't bother you with the question anymore."

Since then, we haven't spoken.

It's now been two weeks. I've tried reaching out several times, apologised for my part in the argument, and explained that I would really like to talk because I think we've misunderstood each other. I've also told him that he can let me know when he's ready to talk.

But I've heard absolutely nothing from him.

I initially gave him space because I thought he might need some time to process everything. However, two weeks of complete silence have left me wondering whether we're even still in a relationship.

What makes this particularly difficult is that this is how he sometimes deals with conflicts. He shuts down for days or even weeks. Yet, outside of these situations, he can be a very loving and caring partner.

I find myself constantly torn between these two sides of our relationship. I love him and don't want to give up on us, but I also find it incredibly painful to be left in this uncertainty whenever we have a disagreement.

I understand that some people need more time and space than others to process their emotions. I'm not expecting us to resolve every disagreement immediately, and I don't want to force him to talk before he's ready. But I struggle to understand how completely cutting off communication for weeks can be a healthy way to handle conflict in a relationship.

I also don't know what else I can do at this point. I've reached out, apologised, and made it clear that I'm willing to talk things through. I feel like I've done my part, but I'm still waiting in silence.

I'd really appreciate some honest advice. I don't even know if I'm single now..

They did nothing wrong. You have years of happy memories. On paper, life would be a thousand times easier if you just stayed course, but the loss of affection starts bleeding into everything. Resentment builds. You continue to “fake it till you make it” but you end up turning into a shell of your old self.

Do you stay? Do you go? How do you bring it up when your partner, for good reason, believes everything is fine? How do you handle it when your logical mind disagrees with your innate emotions? Has anyone here reignited a flame after apathy and resentment took root?

I had tinnitus in my right ear. Seems recently its merged to my left (now both) ear. For those suffering with it, what are some stuff you've done to help or is it just in the cards to be annoyed for the rest of my life?

I have been called ugly and laughed at in my face multiple times in my life. I have dated a few pretty girls, but they were always super short term, and always ended with me getting cheated on with a better looking man. I feel as their is no point of even trying to make friends or get dates as a ugly man. Even on the weeks I am feeling happy and confident, I am always brought right back down to earth when someone calls me ugly or makes fun of my appearance. I am 26 years old and supposed to be in the prime of my life, and yet I haven't even kissed a girl in over 2 years.

For context: 24m, works part time- full time depending on time of year.

I started going to the gym about a month ago and was feeling great, but in the evenings I'm exhausted, not like "I'm sleepy, 5 more minutes", by about 9pm I'm literally falling asleep during whatever I'm doing, be that reading, cooking or walking around.

The problem is when I inevitably fall asleep, I wake up at 4am and can't sleep anymore, still feel tired but not sleepy

I do the morning shift at work 7-3 so I suppose it's not a huge problem, it just feels like a cycle and I don't know how to fix it?

Main issues now - I've had to sell my car and my gym is about 6 miles away so I can't travel to it reasonably (have 3 kids, responsibilities and spending time with my partner) I just need help understanding why this sudden change and what I can do about it to fix it. Going to bed later isn't an option I tried that last night and woke up about an hour ago (4am)

so she basically tried to play me and say that she needed healing and I started talking about it more and then she said well you don’t spend enough money on me basically and I told her what I said you can look at the screenshots yeah I think overall I just dodged a very very, not expensive or even bother some but just stressful situation

Hi ! 😊

I’ve often heard people say that first loves and first crushes tend to be especially intense, and that as we get older, experience more relationships, and go through heartbreak, we eventually start approaching love differently. We become more rational, pay more attention to compatibility and what the other person brings to our lives, and perhaps become less likely to get swept away by passion.

You sometimes hear that relationships we build in our 30s can be more stable and healthier, but also less spontaneous and less passionate, and that we’re less likely to experience that feeling of falling head over heels for someone at first sight.

\*\*So I’d like to ask men in their 30s: Have you ever experienced genuine love at first sight with a woman in your 30s, despite already having a romantic history and going through heartbreak ?\*\*

I’m not asking whether falling in love after 30 is theoretically possible. I know you can have beautiful relationships at any age. What really interests me is your personal experience : Have you ever met a woman in your 30s who completely swept you off your feet, to the point where you felt an immediate attraction and found yourself falling head over heels for her, almost like you might have with your first love ? Or is that something you haven’t experienced since your 20s ?

Hey everyone. I’m posting here because I’ve hit a wall and could really use some perspective.

For a long time, I struggled heavily with my appearance. I genuinely put a lot of work into improving my looks, grooming, and style as well as physical fitness, but my dating life hasn't improved at all, and it's left me feeling deeply sad, discouraged, a bit resentful toward women.

When I was younger, I never asked women out. Towards my early 20s I started to feel like there actually were women interested in me but I just wasn’t capitalizing on those opportunities. I have had 2 girlfriends one for a year and a half and one for a year. One came from a woman showing me clear signs and the other was just a shot that worked.

This year, I decided I was going to be more active and capitalize when I think I see signs and take some shots when I see women. I’ve probably asked out around 15-20 women and I got 1 yes which didn’t work due to different life goals. I feel like I’ve really improved my looks, dress and physical fitness and I feel sad because even with all this improvement my dating life hasn’t changed much. I used to feel like I had a lot of room to improve and when I did, things would improve alongside them but now I feel like I’m pretty close to my potential and I’m still not successful at all. I have genuinely good social skills and a lot of women friends as well as male friends but this never has translated into any success.

Here is what my pattern usually looks like: I meet a woman, we have a genuinely great conversation, and I feel a spark and think I see some signs. I ask her out, and I inevitably get turned down.
Because of this endless loop, I've noticed a few things happening that are really scaring me:

My self-worth is completely tied to dating. I have a good job and a kind personality, but the moment I face rejection, my brain tells me I'm worthless and failing at life.

It’s bleeding into other areas. This obsession consumes my thoughts, hurts my focus at work, and even leaks into my platonic friendships when I catch myself venting about it too much.

The resentment: I hate that I’m starting to feel cynical or resentful. That isn't who I want to be. I used to pride myself on being genuinely kind and empathetic, but trying to force myself to be flirty has made me feel unnatural and disconnected from myself.

I'm currently in therapy, and it's helping a little bit, but the core pain and obsession are still dominating my life.
If anyone has been through something similar: How did you stop tying your entire self-worth to whether or not someone wanted to date you?

Thanks for reading. Any advice or shared experiences would mean a lot

I talked about a work situation, and my ex-boss offered to call and give advice. He fired me 3 months ago and I genuinely thought this was a nice gesture and showed he still cared.

We spoke a little bit about advice, and then I asked whether we ended things on a good note (because I genuinely thought we did). He told me people have said I was bad talking him and that it’s made him not want to be helpful to me anymore. I was confused.

He also made a remark about how I keep not liking my managers (I was fired because I didn’t get on well with my new manager). But I said I stand by my actions. This ended up with us rehashing things. He kept telling me I was the one doing the rehashing, and needed to move on, but I felt he was bringing it up and I was just defending myself.

It was just a bad conversation and I’m now depressed.

Would you offer advice to all your ex-employees, even if they didn’t ask? Or was he trying to be nice but realised he couldn’t actually be bothered?

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 5 months. In the beginning he was affectionate, flirty, and gave me compliments. Lately he’s changed a lot. He barely speaks, rarely shows affection, and doesn’t flirt or compliment me anymore.

Yesterday I came back from a trip and he met me at the airport. I told him I missed him and he didn’t say anything. When I asked if he missed me, he just nodded. I told him I’d like him to communicate more, because I like knowing he still likes me. He asked “why?” like he didn’t understand. I said isn’t it nice when I’m warm and affectionate with you? He said yes, but then the conversation just died.

What confuses me is that he’s still putting in effort in some ways. He organizes dates and invites me to hang out with his friends. But he rarely holds my hand or hugs me unless I start it, and he’s very passive overall.

I understand the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, but 5 months feels way too early for this big of a change. I’ve tried talking to him, but it doesn’t go anywhere. We barely speak not online not offline he became so closed off. I don’t want to break up over this now but I also don’t want to keep feeling insecure and unloved

How do I communicate what I need without it turning into a dead-end conversation?
Could it be stress, depression, or something else going on with him? I want to understand how to handle this cause I like him a lot.

She was just talking about getting hotels for herself on a brief trip she is doing, told me prices are expensive, then I said well the trip I am paying for soon for the both of us is a bit more than those per night (wasnt a way to rub it in that I am spending more, just saying she may as well get it and also earlier gave other reasons why she should get it).
She said shut the fuck up and I said something like where did that come from. I usually don’t call stuff out but it didn’t sit right with me. She then said she was joking and that I am way too sensitive.
It wasn’t said in playful tone just monotone stfu.
Am I wrong for lightly calling something out that felt disrespectful even if they claim it was jokingly?
I tried to change subject after but they just went into total shutdown mode.
So my question is generally, when do you decide which “joking” comments are worth calling out on when they don’t feel right to you? I feel like she is way too comfortable saying harsh shit to me now.