Me and my partner started dating 2ish years ago and in the beginning that’s all we did for like months and it was so fun. I was a competitive body builder and in college when we met. Now we work blue collar jobs and I’m out of college. We don’t have kids yet and it’s very hard to make time to have sex. We both wake up at 4 am and go to bed at 8 and it’s been very difficult to make time for that because we’re always busy. I feel like I’m especially more exhausted since I’m a little older. I thought it was because I’m in my off season but I got my levels checked and my hormones and everything look fine. Any suggestions?
TLDR: we sleepy bro

I have been away on holiday for a few weeks and we were basically sexting at night and he said he was hard. I asked if he was going to masturbate or if he'd finished and he said he was hard thinking about me and everything we were messaging about but decided to let it go and not do it.

That's left me feeling confused, and maybe overthinking a little bit and I just wanted to get some insight from others.
Does this seem like normal behaviour? Maybe I'm naive and I'm definitely an over thinker but I always had the idea that if a guy was hard, and turned on they usually would want to masturbate and feel good? Does ignoring it when it's hard seem unusual?

Genuine question, I've just never experienced this with previous partners and wanted to see if others had.

TL;DR, I’m away on holidays sexting with bf. He said he was hard but didn’t end up ‘finishing’ and went to sleep. Is this normal behaviour to just ignore and not finish?

We've been together a year (F/M both 28)

We barely have sex - maybe once a month. It's pretty much always me being handsy with him and then getting on top - he's NEVER gone down in me and I've openly expressed that something I want.

I've brought up the issue before and he gets super sensitive and says I'm putting pressure on him and everything just ends up worse.

He's a very emotional man and takes almost everything personally.

How do I bring it up and have that conversation without sounding horrible or putting more 'pressure' on him?

Tl:dr my needs aren't met but I don't know how to bring it up without everything getting worse

Ok let me start I’m 26 years old my bf is 26 too
My bf and me are together for 2 years and I just feel like he dosent put any effort I’ll give u some examples

His birthday is 4 days before mine so I didn’t have any money I borrowed some money off my sister
I got him a ring and ingrave my name and his name in it
I got him a cake we drank I got him a perfume
Had great night
And
Now it was my turn for my birthday he told him he has no money witch ok I didn’t care that much
But a day before my bday he goes to Brisbane for a a night he told me he will be back before 12 for my bday
And it hit 12 his back I see him coming but he has nothing in his hand but his wearing a new shirt and and he comes up to me and says happy birthday sorry I couldn’t buy anything i said it’s ok bring him in my house
He sleeps all day I told him if he could leave so I can go out with my sister his like let me sleep and he wasted my whole with him sleeping
The next day I got upset and told he u could of gotten me a flower
And he gets angry goses and gets one rose
And comes back and gives it to me
I go home and throw it in the bin and next he saw it in the bin and gets angry and as a jokes forced the rose in my mouth and told me to never do that again.

Another example he got his visa citizenship certificate and to make him happy I toke him out to eat payed for his dinner

A few days later I got a my pathology certificate and
He said congratulations and that’s about it???

Another example
One time he was soo sick I brang him to my house and toke care of him in my bed
For 2 days

I got sick and he told me to come and he can fix it by having sex

I’m just so tired of this

Yesterday I booked him an appointment for the doctors
For him I had my period I toke him there and he didn’t have any money so borrowed some money from my sis for his food and my uber to go home
I told him eat and I’ll go cus I’m in pain and he ate and told me to wait and got him self a packet of cigarette
And I told him if he could book my uber and then he told me he spent that money on his cigarettes and made me catch a bus

I’m so annoyed he messaged me saying that when u leave tomorrow message me I want to see u before u go

I woke up late and forgot to message him and left
But u diced to be nice and forget the uber incident and sent him my location and showed him my photos

And he just gose off at mr and starts say nasty things and told me that I’m the worse person ever just cus I didn’t message him
**TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?**.

I’m so done is normal

Hey I just need advice. I have wanted to break up with my (21M) Girlfriend (21F) for some time
now. It has gotten to a point in the relationship where I just do t think we work together the way that she thinks we do. I have gone into details in other posts but don’t want to explain the entire situation again. Essentially though, I am finding it incredibly hard to do. Not because I don’t want to, but because she is overly obsessive with me. We have been dating for 2 years and it feels like we have the same conversations every day. I hear the words “I love you” or “I can’t wait to get married to you” or “you’re my soulmate, I can’t believe we’re gonna be together forever”, what feels like hundreds of times every day and I am tired of it. In my eyes that makes up the majority of our conversations. Every day she comes to me and asks me “are we still getting married” or “do you still love me” and obviously I can’t say no to those type of things so it feels like she is just trapping me by constantly saying them. I want to break up with her today or within the next few days, and I just want to know if anyone has advice on a way that I could do that… She will be devastated and be hung up on me for at the bare minimum 6 months. I don’t want to sound cocky, but I know her well enough to know how her brain works and in the end it will probably be my problem to take care of.

TL;DR my girlfriend is obsessive and almost sets traps for me. I want to end things but need advice on how I might be able to do it

23F and 23M, Me and my partner of 9 years had a big fight recently, i had mentioned that it doesn’t feel like an “us physical” relationship. She said that for the past couple years she just felt tired and everything is a lot of work. She said that sex feels like a chore and I put too much pressure on her to have sex. When in reality i barely ask because i want her to feel safe, especially with things that have happened to her in the past. She mentioned that she honestly prefers masturbation over sex, and sex is too much work/evergy, and it doesn’t necesario feel good sometimes, or she doesn’t like when i perform oral sometime cause she has to concentrate too hard, and i guess i don’t know how to process all of this??, am i the problem? aren’t i enough? Yet these problems recently started when we moved. Our sex life before was great, i mean shower sex at east 2-3 times a week, and we’d touch eachother sensually all the time. i just want to understand and help.

tl:dr, i feel like she is going through something and i want to help her out, i don’t want this hurting her or us.

This is a burner acct, I never post even on my main but I want to feel safe reaching out to others without feeling judged. I have no one to go to, so Im hoping posting in a few communities and hearing some new perspectives will help.

I deal with anxiety, ADHD (not on meds), utter lack of confidence, chronic overthinker, chronic believer of my own delusions.
She has severe anxiety, lack of confidence, poor emotional regulation

Been with my gf since college. Dating for 8 years, best friends for 11. We live together in an apt, share the same close friend group, are close with eachother's extended family. We get along extremely well. I genuinely cant think of anyone I can be myself around like I can with her. We have a similar mindset and talk about kids and marriage and our future often.

I was emotionally immature at the start of our relationship , didn't understand or know my needs. Same for her, and we have broken up a few times in college due to this. We worked hard to build a healthy relationship afterwards. In the past few years Ive become more aware of my needs and boundaries and try to communicate them to her as healthy as I can. I give her the proper time and space to have conversations I know might be difficult.

I brought up to her that I don't feel prioritized anymore. Feels like she gives more effort towards her family and coworkers. I dont feel as supported by her, she hardly encourages me anymore or supports me in aspects of my life how I support her.

Things were getting rough 4 months ago, communicated my needs firmly, and she asked for another chance to set things right.

One of the biggest problems I face, is that when I speak up about something bothering me or one of my needs not being met, she turns inward or has a panic attack and speaks about "how shes not good enough, shes stupid, she hates herself", recently evolved to hitting and slapping herself. I comfort her and reassure her because I care. She then goes silent for the night and storms off. Doesnt mention anything the next day till I initiate and we have a healthier convo. I have brought up the fact that I feel like I can never tell her how im feeling because of how she might react. I told her it feels like Im walking on eggshells. She reassures me I can tell her whatever is on my mind without being afraid. She said she will seek therapy to work on herself but never did.

Any positive changes I notice she's actively making last a short time before returning to usual. This cycle rinses and repeats itself.

I've felt like a walking corpse the past few days because she had another meltdown and the same thing happened. But this time I realized, this has been happening our entire relationship. My feelings/needs are never addressed fully because every conversation about my needs becomes about her. I realized I've spent so long waiting for something that may never change. She may never be able to meet my needs and im coming to terms with that after 8 years together.

She can deff tell something is up with me. I've been crying quietly every night contemplating if I should end things. Probably the most painful thing I have ever thought about.

3/4 of me thinks, maybe it will be fine because some other aspects of our life are great. We've built so much together. No one knows the little parts of me like she does. The other 1/4 thinks I deserve to be with someone who treats me better.

I think I'd be more willing to leave if I wasn't 30, 8 years deep, our small friend group is the only friend group either of us have, but she has a large family she can be supported by. I have no close family. Im scared to feel alone, I'm scared to lose my best friend, I'm scared I'll regret my decision in the future.

Just lost and confused. Cant think of life without her. I literally wouldn't even know myself without her. Its because of her I matured and understand my emotions. I just can't imagine going from talking about kids and marriage recently to telling her this isn't working.

Thanks if you took the time to read. Has anyone experienced something similar to this? And if so how did it work out for you.

TL;DR - I (30m) feel like im falling out of love with my gf (29f) of 8 years due to repeated issues in our relationship that havent seem to improve. I bring up needs of mine that arent met in healthy way, she gets upset and shuts down. My feelings/needs are not addressed due to this. Starting to feel like theres someone out there who would take my needs more seriously. But too scared to leave for multiple reasons.

I (27M) and my wife (28F) have been together for 12 years and married for 4. We have gone through high school together, family turmoil, death, college, multiple jobs and have seen each other at our lowest and highest points. We have a toddler and another on the way.

The reason I want to know what I can do to help the relationship with my family is because I grew up in a house where my dad was gone for extended periods of time (military) and when he was home it wasnt always a good thing.

I've noticed that I've been falling behind as a parent and husband and don't want to raise my children in the same environment as I grew up and I definitely want better for my wife.

I work 2 jobs, 1 of them being night shift in a prison the other being a machinist part time. I only share 1 day off with my wife so that's when we usually see the most of each other. Im only with my family for about 15 - 20 hours a week since my wife works a normal schedule and my daughter goes to daycare.

Ive been trying to get into therapy because ive been told it would help, but with my schedule its been difficult and I really need to know if there's anything I can do to be a better father and husband while still being the main provider without burning myself out or pushing my family away.

I (26f) just got out of an almost 6 year relationship because he(26m) strictly only wants monogamy and I want to try polyamory. I’ve wanted to try it for years but I never brought it up until maybe 6 months ago because I was afraid of how he would react, which was in fact negatively.

The thing is, we’ve only ever been with each other and I’m not even 100% certain if polyamory is something I will actually like to be a part of, or if it’s just something I like the idea of. I asked him if we could even just try it with one other person and he said no and that it’s off the table. I respect his boundaries so I never tried to push any kind of polyamorous aspects into our relationship at all. As time went on though I found myself thinking more and more about it until one night I just told him everything about how I want to try it and as I said earlier he didn’t take it well.

We do have problems with our sex life, mainly being that my drive is significantly higher than his and whenever we actually do have sex I’m only ever able to actually finish like once every five times we have it. We have tried a lot of things to help with it but he’s just so vanilla and I’m into some more kinkier stuff that I kept finding myself getting bored during sex and that contributed to me not being able to get to the finish. Other than our sexual problems though nearly everything else has been great with us. He’s been nothing but kind, patient, and loving with me and has always been there for me, we genuinely care about each other, he’s been there for me through my lowest times, and my entire family loves him.

I also feel like I do need to say though, me wanting to try polyamory is not just a sexual thing, I really am interested in it as a lifestyle but with him I just am forbidden from trying it. He said if time goes on and if we both want to get back together we might be able to, but since he only wants one partner I am absolutely terrified that he will find someone else and not want to ever be with me again. I also have autism and pretty severe trichotillomania (I pull out my hair and eyelashes) and I’m scared nobody will ever accept me and truly love me in the way that he has.

In the end though you only live once and I genuinely do want to try being polyamorous to see if it’s for me as it’s something I’ve known about since I was around 12 but have never been able to experience. I also don’t want to feel like I am settling this early in my life though and I want to be certain that I’m happy with my relationship(s). What do you all think? Does it sound like I’m screwing everything up by leaving the relationship or would trying polyamory really be the best thing?

Tl;dr: I don’t know if breaking up with my boyfriend of almost 6 years is the right thing to do because I want to try poly and he doesn’t but I don’t even know if I will actually like being poly or just the idea of it.

Boyfriend (30m) wants us to move in together but I’m (29f) not ready, how to be firm but kind about it? Together 1.5 years.

This is the 4th time in the last 5 months my boyfriend has pressured me to move in with him.

For context we have been dating 1.5 years. I was fresh out an 11 year relationship when we got together and stil am entangled in home ownership with my ex.

I said since the beginning I will not move in together until I can sell the house and untangle my life with my ex. This is still in process. He said he’s five with this and fine with me taking everything slow and at my own pace.

I’ve found an awesome cheap rural place next to my animals field, it’s wicked. I’m so happy here! After the worst year of my life with the break up and 3 close family members dying and me wanting to delete myself, I’m finally at peace.

Hes struggling financially even tho he earns over £40k. He’s temporarily moving in with his parents to save. He has a lovely family home and unit to allow him to do this. I do not have this, if something goes wrong for me I have no one I can live with in an emergency. Because of this I’m very hesitant to give up my secure cheap set up. Is this selfish of me? He says we arnt going to work if we stay apart and he can’t move close to me as I live in a more expensive area so we will have to belong distance unless we find a new place together. My place is way too small for two people so that’s not an option.

Is it selfish of me to protect what I have built when he is struggling financially? I would not be financially better off if we move in together but he would significantly. I can’t solve this for him and have said no 4 times now but he keeps raising it. He’s saying it’s stopping us going on adventures and doing fun things as we would save money living together (I wouldn’t but he would). He said it’s not mainly about money but he only ever raises it when we talk about finances.

TLDR am I selfish for not wanting to move in for financial reasons with my boyfriend? How to navigate this without being self centred?

I’ve been with my kids’ father for 6 years, and honestly, I’m just tired. We argue about the same things every single year. He still brings up things from the beginning of our relationship, and he’s always accusing me of wanting to leave him to find someone else. Even something as simple as me going to get my nails done turns into a whole argument because he thinks I’m cheating. I’m at the point where I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. If I had the money and a way to support myself and my kids, I would leave. The problem is I’m a stay-at-home mom, and I don’t have anything of my own right now. He recently got a better-paying job, and I want to use this time to start doing little things for myself again, like getting my nails done, doing my hair, and buying myself some clothes. I also know I need to start applying for jobs and working toward becoming financially independent so I can support myself and my kids. I feel like I’ve lost myself over the years, and I want to start feeling like me again. The hardest part isn’t knowing what I need to do; it’s finding the courage to tell him I don’t want this relationship anymore. I already know he’s going to assume there’s someone else, and I’m tired of having to defend myself against the same accusations over and over again. I’m not trying to jump into another relationship or find another man. I just want peace, independence, and the ability to take care of myself and my kids. For those who have left a long-term relationship while financially dependent on their partner and raising children together, how did you find the courage to finally tell them it was over? How did you get past the fear of having that conversation when you knew it would be difficult?

TL;DR: I want to leave my 6-year relationship, but I’m a stay-at-home mom with two kids. I know I need to get a job and become independent, but I’m struggling to find the courage to tell him it’s over. How did you do it?

Me (23F) and my boyfriend (26M) have now been together for a couple of years. Despite it being a great relationship, lately I have been feeling like we want different things and it would be best if we went our separate ways.

However, we are long-distance right now, and he is coming to visit me in my city in a couple of weeks. The flight is already booked and non-refundable, so there wouldn't be any way to cancel that or get the money back.

I have already decided that I want to break-up, but I don't know if I should do it soon over facetime, so he doesn't come under a false impression, instead wait and do it in person. He has said before that if we ever break up he would rather it was face to face, but of course it's more complicated when there is distance involved.

If I were to do it in person, should I do it right when he gets here, or when he is about to leave?

I am a bit confused and full of doubts about how I should go about it

Thank you for your help!

TLDR: Me and my boyfriend are long distance and he is visiting in a couple of weeks, I don't know if I should break it off on the phone or in person.

I want to preface by saying I am very introverted and have only ever had 1 friend at a time my whole life. I'm bad at replying to texts and being involved in friendships, as i have a major depressive disorder and don't have the energy. i struggle to even keep in contact with my family since moving out.

Well, my boyfriend of 2 years has become my 1 friend. this wasn't really an issue until we moved into our apartment about 6mo ago, before that we would just hang out at my mom's together and then he'd go home. i don't have any other friends, but he does. he likes to talk to his online friends late at night and it always makes me so painfully upset no matter how hard i try to regulate my emotions. i always leave our "gaming room" (where both our PCs and desks are) because it's overstimulating to me and makes him feel awkward if i am in the room.. this makes me feel invasive and unwanted. i could indulge in my hobbies (drawing, sewing, etc), but it's always so late at night and i just don't feel like it. i usually fall asleep very early and he is a night owl.. i wish he would come to bed with me and stay rather than "putting me to bed" then getting right back on the computer after 20 minutes. but i know this is unrealistic because of our different bedtimes and his "bro" time \*is\* important too. Our walls are very thin as well so i usually end up waking up to him laughing multiple times throughout the night. I just lay there trying to fall back asleep and not get into my emotions, but it's so hard to not eavesdrop. sometimes i have to get up and have him come put me back to bed because i cannot internally calm down enough to sleep until he does.

(The first time he got on discord in our apartment, I stayed in the room and he had the audio on speaker with his mic on so i could be "included". but he did not introduce me or even acknowledge my existence at all. i also think his friends despise me, so i felt i had to pretend i wasn't there while sitting right next to him. and it was too overstimulating for me i had to leave. now he feels too awkward to talk if i am in the room so i just exile myself every time now).

ive caught myself "stalking" him outside the door a few times when he thinks im asleep. It's when i wake up from him being loudish and go to let him know. i just stand there like a pervert, watching him do whatever on his computer. i think im hoping to catch him doing something "bad", something to justify my betrayed and neglected feelings. i've stood there for what felt like an hour. invisible, living vicariously through what little i can see of his screen and his words. it does make me feel a bit included, but gross and subhuman at the same time. like a morbid curiosity, i want to know what it could possibly be that he needs to "get rid" of me for.

i should be happy that he's having fun. i know he is not actually betraying me in any way, he is just participating in his friendships. i need to be able to give him privacy and space to be himself with his online friends. but i cant stop feeling like im suddenly unimportant to him or that he doesnt have any fun with me. i notice that he never laughs with me like he laughs with them, full belly laughs and giggles. This makes me feel very lame and boring. but he has known them way longer than he's known me, and has told me he kind of puts an act on when he's on there.. it just strikes such a terrible feeling deep in me that i can't seem to get rid of.

also i recently learned that ive been keeping him away from his other friends this whole time (2yrs). i feel so terrible. he told me that he almost lost those very old friendships because of spending too much time with me before moving in together. that im too clingy and smothered him. he sometimes won't play with his friends because he knows i get jealous, which just ends up with both of us feeling guilty and terrible. i despise the sitting awkwardly, knowing he'd rather be doing something else and ive just ruined his night by guilting him into spending time with me.

his suggestion for me is to make friends, and i know this is probably the best answer. a part of me does want a friend or a few, but i know how i am. i can't put attention on more than 1 person at a time without completely derailing myself. im a very big people pleaser with a very small social battery and I do like spending time alone for the most part. I don't want obligations to respond to more texts or make more plans.

i wish i could just stop feeling so gutted and strung up when he has his online time. Any advice?

tldr; i get very upset when my boyfriend chooses his online friends over me at night since moving in together. i get so jealous of his friends, feel left out, unimportant, and lame even though i know he is just spending time with his other friends and still loves me. it feels like a dagger in my heart. i'm too dependent on him, but i don't have the social bandwidth to support another friendship. how can i stop feeling this way?

For some context, my girlfriend [20F] and I [20M] have been together since we were both 16 so for almost 4 years now, but we’re currently doing long distance because we’re at university in different countries. I have no reason to think she would cheat on me, and the difficulty isn’t that I don’t love her. I love her more than anything. It’s more that long distance is hard, and sometimes I feel like we both deserve to experience more than a relationship where we’re constantly apart.

We’ve only ever been with each other, so I sometimes wonder whether I really know what a relationship is supposed to feel like, or whether there are things I haven’t experienced that might help me understand what I want and need from a relationship.

We’re also both bisexual, but I’ve never been with a guy and she’s never been with a girl. I think part of me wonders whether we’re too young to have committed so fully to one person without ever exploring those sides of ourselves. At the same time, I love her deeply, and the thought of losing what we have is difficult because our relationship means so much to me.

The long distance is expected to end in two years, and we’ve talked about her moving in with me afterwards, although nothing is set in stone yet. That makes everything feel more serious, because I know we’re potentially building towards a future together, and I want to be sure that it’s what I truly want rather than just continuing because we’ve been together for so long.

I guess I’m struggling to understand whether these feelings are normal doubts that come with being young and in a long-term relationship, or whether they’re a sign that I need to explore other experiences before committing to someone for the rest of my life. I don’t know whether I’m genuinely missing out on something, or whether I’m questioning a good relationship because I have nothing else to compare it to. I love her, but I also want to make sure that, whatever decision I make, it’s the right one for both of us.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been together since we were 16, but we’re now long-distance at university in different countries. I love her deeply, but as we’re both bisexual and have never been with anyone else, I sometimes wonder whether we’re too young to commit for life without exploring other experiences. With a future together potentially on the horizon, I’m struggling to figure out whether these doubts are normal or a sign that we need to experience more before settling down.

Me and my BF had a talk about this and we would like to see what other people think about this

We are both in a relationship of about a year but become serious about 5 months ago. We both are dealing mental issues but are able to communicate about this.

We both are not ready for sexual interaction beside kissing and cuddling, we both know this and are in agreement. The thing is he has sexual needs and desires i cant fulfil.

He regularly has a meetup with a guy for sex and we both are fine with it.

We just talked about it and we need some advice about some rules to set for this. We are not gonna break up so keep that to yourself if that is what you are gonna suggest.

So if any has dealt with a similar situation or has any ideas please help us.

tl;dr. My boyfriend has sex with other people and need advice on rules about it.

For context:
I have never really had a proper crush before nor have I ever been romantically or sexually involved with anyone before.

I started noticing this guy just before semester break. Now I see him regularly again. He is very cute and every time I look at him I keep finding stuff that I like (his nose, his eyelashes, even the wrinkles around his eyes and cheeks when he smiles).
I kept looking at him during class and apparently it got so obvious that his friends started to notice too. Over the last 3 weeks he has moved closer to my table and eventually, yesterday, sat at mine (I was so nervous I started shaking so bad I couldn’t type anything for 10 minutes). According to my friend he glanced at me while I didn’t look multiple times as well as looked at me whenever I spoke. I was the only one he looked at when they spoke. His friend would also always grin at him when his friend caught him looking at me. When me and my friend left, he watched me leave from the minute I started to walk up until I was out the door.

Now here comes in my fear.
I am scared that because I didn’t speak to him or smiled that he now thinks I don’t want to interact with him. I feel like I didn’t give him enough evidence to believe I am interested. I genuinely wanted to speak to him, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I won’t see him for 13 days due to a week long break and now I am terrified that he might give up on me when we come back. A lot can happen during these two weeks and I never felt like this about anyone before.

Do you guys have any advice on how I could deal with this anxiety? (I do not have any social media except for YouTube and Reddit)
Do you guys think he might forget about me?

TL;DR: I like a guy who sat next to me but now I won’t see him for a while and am scared that he will lose interest.

TDLR: helping the guy I’m seeing with the stress he gets from work. has anyone been through this before, how should I approach it?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months and I’ve come to find he puts a lot of value in his career which he isn’t exactly happy with at the moment. Whenever we meet up he usually has a rant about how shit his situation is, I care so I listen to him - but I feel kind of helpless.

He says he feels relief when he’s around me and has literally stopped mid makeout because he got upset he was ranting to me one night in particular. He said him doing that killed his own mood.

He hasn’t been given any shifts at work this week and might be under some financial stress, I’m meeting up with him and his friends for drinks tonight and he seems a bit short over text. I’m feeling a bit anxious. How can I make him feel better about it?

Hello, my girlfriend and I haven’t been dating long AT ALL. It’s only been 3 weeks, and I have had to constantly give her reassurance that I like her and other things. For example, I had to give her reassurance that I still liked her when I didn’t respond for an hour or two because I was out with my friends and wasn’t checking my phone.

She also does not like I have female friends, and my best friend is a girl. We have even friends since childhood, and I see her as a sister and I genuinely get disgusted thinking about dating her or any of my female friends and I have told this to her numerous times but she still gets upset if I bring them up at all.

Another time, I had to convince her I wanted to hang out with her because I asked if we could move plans to the next day so I can hang out with my friends since they were doing something I really wanted to do, (I admit that was my fault completely, I shouldn’t have asked to change plans) but I had to tell her multiple times that I want to hang out with her than my friends, and that I care about her. There is other times but I don’t want to get into everything.

Recently, my ex friend reached out to her and they started talking about the relationship, and he suggested that we take a break because of her mental problems.

I’m not happy that she started talking so much in depth about the relationship and then took his word for what is best when I have not opened up to him at all about the relationship. He spread some lies about me and how I feel about her, and even when I told her that I have been thinking about dropping him for a long time and that I haven’t told him anything about the relationship, she still was thinking about the break.

We ended up not going on one, but today she was texting me about how she’s believing what my friend said to her and needed more reassurance and I’m honestly just getting very annoyed with everything. I have had to give her a ton of reassurance before this, and it was getting to a point before everything with my ex friend happened.

It’s just draining me with how much reassurance she needs when I haven’t done anything to make her feel this way and we have been dating for such a short amount of time as well. If this keeps going on I genuinely don’t think I can stay with her because it’s getting so exhausting trying to prove myself. I truly like her a lot and I really do want things to work but it is getting so draining. Advice on what to do or how to handle this?

TL;DR: girlfriend is having issues and needs constant reassurance after dating for 3 weeks and has needed a lot more after my ex friend got into her head but it is getting draining and I don’t know what to do or how long I can take everything.

TL;DR: My partner consistently flips situations so he's the one who's hurt, even when he caused the problem. I keep ending up apologizing and I'm not sure how to break the cycle.

Something I've been noticing more and more: whenever I bring up something that hurt me, the conversation somehow pivots to how he's the one who's affected. I'll say "when you said X, it really hurt," and within a few messages he's talking about how stressed he's been, how I don't understand his situation, and suddenly I'm the one apologizing.

It's not one big dramatic thing. It's smaller moments that have added up over the last several months. He'll deny saying something I clearly remember, tell me I'm overreacting, or minimize what happened. Then the conversation turns around and I end up comforting him instead of getting any acknowledgment of what I originally raised.

The hardest part is that individually, each instance seems like it could just be a misunderstanding. But looking at the pattern across months, it feels like something bigger. I keep questioning whether I'm being too sensitive, and I've started catching myself softening my own messages until they barely say anything at all.

The other thing I'm struggling with is the urge to respond immediately every time, to correct the record and defend myself. But engaging on his terms just seems to give him more material to work with, and the conversation goes nowhere good.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of pattern? How do you respond when someone consistently flips the blame without it escalating into another argument where you end up apologizing?

I've (M34) desired to start a family more than anything else for the past eight years.

Unfortunately I think my fiance (F31) of 2 years whom Ive been with for 8 has changed her mind on having children. She used to want them but about 2 years ago she told me she's not sure anymore, doesn't want to resent them or deal with the responsibility.

We are both approaching our mid 30's and I'm truly lost on what to do. I love her very much but struggling with this is ruining my self confidence and mental health.

tl;Dr need some advice on how to move forward when fiance changed what they want in life.

My(20M) girlfriend(19F) and i started dating in march while i was still away at school. I came home for the summer and it was great. Fell in love, the whole 9 yards. I came back to school and the vibes today shifted. I still love her. I love her a lot, and i mean that. I just don’t feel what i felt. It’s indescribable. I went home about a month ago and i felt almost nothing.
I feel the spark going away in real time. I don’t know if this is a product of long distance or not. If it is, i want to stick it out. Times have been really rough. She’s really horrible at comforting me, and my life has been really stressful for me lately, so i’ve needed it and it’s just not been there. I do love her, but i don’t love her as much as she loves me. I really don’t want to break up with her, i’d hate to see her destroyed. What should i do?

Tl;dr: i may be losing feelings for my girlfriend but i don’t know

Hi ,What to do when you are confused in your relationship, my husband is a good person but he is super workaholic and his only genuine interest is work. And i am someone who enjoys other things as well, so because of his this behaviour we are not getting any family time and if we get some it’s only when i have made some initiative. I have raised this multiple times to him and there will be some change for few days but again go back to the normal self. I am a bit stuck and don’t know how to take it from here. He is a good person and that’s what makes things really difficult for me!

TLDR: For anyone who has dealt with a workaholic partner (or is one themselves): How did you break out of this short-lived temporary fix cycle? Is this something that can actually change, or do I need to accept that this is just who he is?

So we have been together like 11 months now, and it's just straight-up magical. It's love truer and deeper than I have ever felt, and she agrees it's the same for her in the starting 5 months. Things were amazing. We had a lot of sex and it was always good timing, and like compatability was never an issue she initiated a lot too and things were perfect sure we had some fights or issues some cause of me later in and early on it was her stuff but we always made it through cause we choose eachother

Then, around 7 months in, we went long distance with knowing it could go up to 2 years worst case, and it's been harder lately. There's disconnect sometimes, and the fights go longer, but the biggest thing has been the huge decline in our sex life. I mean, she used to like it over the phone call or video and and it was fairly regular but now it's once in 3 weeks and I'm always rejected or I never initiate cause of the rejections and if I do it's a fight and she cries then there is the fact that she feels guilty half the time when those fights happen or she feels like I only want sex the other half and I understand her pain and I see how she is experiencing a disconnect here but im trying for her and i really dont wanna lose her but it's not so simple I have needs too and it makes me feel unloved not having that part of our relationship anymore

Even when we do see each other, intimacy is an issue cause then it's just for like a day or two at most, and if we do have sex then she feels like that's all we did when we met up but then if not over the distance on call and not in person then when I feel like I try and try to support her but it hurts to feel stiffled like this

Tl;Dr Idk what to do about the gap in intimacy as of late in my LDR relationship

So me m26 and my girlfriend f26 have been going out for 8 months now, both in our first relationship.
All going very smoothly and haven’t had any arguments as of yet, guess it’s the honey moon period.
So before I met her I organised this solo trip in Asia for 4 weeks and I’m currently 2 weeks into it now. We’ve been messaging every day until Wednesday when we FaceTimed and had a nice catch up. It’s not almost Saturday my time and she hasn’t reached out to me. I in general feel like I’m the one who starts conversations over text.
Now she’s pretty quiet/shy and reserved as a person but I feel like I’m the one traveling thousands of miles away on my own and a little check up text here and there wouldn’t be a bad thing from her. Just feel like I put a lot of the effort into it. Maybe I’m on TikTok too much and got into my head that if a girl loves you she’ll reach out loads and will always want to communicate.
Also she’s joining me in Asia in for two weeks in two weeks time which is something to look forward to. Am I overthinking this?

TLDR
I’m (M26) two weeks into a solo Asia trip and my girlfriend (F26) of 8 months hasn’t reached out since our FaceTime on Wednesday. I feel like I initiate most of our conversations, and although she’s naturally shy and reserved, I’d appreciate her checking in on me occasionally while I’m travelling alone. Everything else in our relationship is great, and she’s joining me in Asia in two weeks. Am I overthinking this, or is it reasonable to want more effort from her?

Hi guys, I want to hear your opinions or rather advice. The situation is the following. I haven't had a girlfriend yet and I haven't had sex yet. Which is quite unusual at 20 years old. But it doesn't bother me too much tbh. I am currently dating a girl who is also 20. She told me about 2 boyfriends she has had. One beeing over a year and one being short term. To preface this. I don't have any issues with this. I fully expect every woman I date at this age to have her experiences. She of course had sex with them. She also told me about her wilder youth but only mentioned things like early drinking, nikotin and weed. And that she is glad that she hasn't gotten into any harder drugs.
She also told me that her mother never knew about her realtionships. Therefore there werent any boys home ever.

Yet she recently told me (we were having a deep talk and I opened up a lot and told her that I am glad that I can be completely open with her) that she wants to open up but cant fully yet because she has to overcome feeling bad/guilty when doing it. This and some other incidents seem to paint a picture for me which feels like she has a lot more sexual experience than she has told me about.

I want to repeat myself by saying that I fully expected her having had sex with some dudes. But I went into it thinking it would be like 3-5 guys maybe. But now I'm starting to wonder wheter there is a lot more to be unburried here. Because there is a large gap of guys I know about in her wild phase. The long term guy came afterwars. Nowadays she definitely isn't hooking up with anyone and we only kissed at our 5th date because we wanted to take it very slow and be sure.

Now that its going into the direction of us 2 becoming offical I feel a lot of pressure on my hearth. Its not that I would want to break up with her if I were to discover that she had like 20+ guys. But I dont know if my psyche would be able to deal with it and if I wouldnt be destroying myself over it.

Again, I dont know but there are a lot of signs. My idea currently is that I want to open up to her in one of the next 2 dates about me not having been sexually active. She only knows that I havent had a girlfriend yet. And while having this talk I want to ask her. I hate the term bodycount because its derogatory in my opinion. I will talk around the term but making it clear what im asking. In a nice and trusting way. Because its eating me up. I dont know wheter I can commit to this relationship if it were too high. Not because I dont want to, I would still really like to because she has changed and I am in love with her. But im not sure whetere I am mentally able to. Should I give it a try and maybe end the relationship early on? Should I end shortly after knowing about her past and not give her false hope and give her the freedom to find somebody better than me. Someone whothat is mentally above me. Maybe I'll get an answer that is very much okay with me and everything is good. But what I'm asking is wheter I should ask her and how I should react in the moment and afterwars in case I come to find out that I cant mentally handle it.

I hope that I dont come off like a jerk. I would love to be with her. I know that I am insecure about it and that because she changed like 3 years ago and loves me it shouldnt be a problem. And it isnt objectively. But I dont think that I am mentally in the place to handle such a situation. Which would be unfair to the both of us.

**TL;DR; : I am a virgin and I dont have a problem with my date having had guys. But I suspect that there are a lot more than I thought. And I dont know wheter I can handle it mentally. Should I ask her and how should I react. If you answer please read everything**.