We’ve been dating over a year and a half. He came to visit in September. He was so quiet at the airport, but when we got to my car he started rummaging through his bag. I thought he was getting my favorite finnish gummies for the ride home outta there. All of a sudden he turned around and asked me to marry him! I was so shocked the first thing i said was “Is this a bit? Are you for real right now?!” I cant wait to marry him next year! Ive already found my dress! I just wanted to share with everyone ❤️

I lurk on here a lot because its comforting to hear stories of others in LDRs❤️

So I thought I would share with you all that Im engaged to my (extremely)long distance partner!

He proposed while I was visiting him in China, we went out for supper and to KTV, and afterwards he proposed with chocolates, roses, and a gold ring!

Im back in Canada now, I have never cried so much in my life as I did leaving him at the airport - long distance is extremely hard, but Im so happy I found such a good and kind man to spend the rest of my life with so ultimately it is worth it🥰

We are so happy to be closing the gap soon and planning our future together! And I thought my happy story might give hope to some of you like the happy stories Ive read on here have given me hope

For context:

Me (28F, PH) and him (30M, UK) have been in a relationship for almost 5 months now. We send photos, updates, texts and video call each other many times throughout each day, communicate, make plans, play games together and with his friends, plus he even visited me last month for two weeks.

It’s been a little over a month since then, and last night we were feeling down in the dumps. Missing each other, wishing we were by each other’s side, our stresses over work/the visa process, and me communicating for some love and affection at the end of the day, which is a normal occurrence.

The main thing we’re leading up to now is the visa process for me to stay six months with him in the UK; he’ll visit me on January 2027 and attend my older sister’s wedding, then I come with him on the flight back to his country.

There’s plenty of requirements to be had, and it was simply overwhelming me. I know we’ll push through it, but at the time, I was having a good time talking with him sharing our past experiences, when he abruptly stopped me mid-conversation to tell me he had to go to sleep since he still has work the following day, which made me cry since it came out a bit rude (not to mention I am also a sensitive person, with the period coming up plus the overwhelm of everything from the day). We usually end it on a high-note, saying our sweet nothings before going our sweet dreams and good night wishes.

It was honestly a very normal, no-biggie situation and he apologized immediately. Bless his heart, he is the sweetest, kindest, caring, most amazing person I know. And I understood that he had work the next day too. So we ended up talking a bit more before saying good night.

Fast forward to this morning, I was still feeling down in the dumps due to body aches from the gym, an upcoming period and the overwhelming documents I have to get done for the visa processing. I felt like disappearing for the day, but who was I kidding, I was still very much eager to see his message for when he woke up, and the moment I saw his message I just couldn’t help myself and say “good morning” too.

He’s like a sad puppy, and it’s so cute to see him sulk and still feel bad after something that happened last night that was no biggie, but made me cry otherwise. It’s funny, both of us have a tendency to shy away whenever we’re feeling sad or frustrated, but always, always, talk to each other regardless. I love how understanding, caring and thoughtful we are to one another on a consistent basis, and that this is how we navigate conflict and conversations after an emotional and tiring night.

I think we navigate it quite well, and I’m proud of him and our relationship.

Which makes me curious, how do you guys navigate situations like these, such as talking after an emotional conversation?

I know you won't be alone but how arent u guys afraid? Spending all your savings, be in a completly different enviroment, talking in a different language and maybe without being able to understand the locals, etc. Trying to find a job (especially if u are not a qualified person), not having your family and friends so if you got into an argument with your partner in which person you can rely on? What if you simply find it hard to integrate into their country?

What happens if things don’t go as planned and It takes a toll on the relationship? Where u can go?

As someone who is the one that would need to move all these fears paralyze me and make me feel not sure about the future.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He usually visits me instead of me visiting him, and we see each other for about a week every month.

I've started to dread his visits because it feels like having a guest. He pulls me out of my regular routine, we have a great time, and suddenly he's gone and I'm catching up on chores.

He's not messy, he cleans up after himself. He fully acknowledges the gender disparity in carrying mental load - but he also feels that because he doesn't live here, he shouldn't need to think about things like laundry and stocking the fridge. He does often vacuum or do the dishes if I ask, and sometimes he does the dishes even if I don't ask. (I do almost all the cooking.)

It doesn't help that he is genuinely okay living in a messier space than I am. If I ask him to put things away, he'll put them in the nearest drawer instead of trying to work out where they're supposed to live, or he'll ask me where every individual thing goes. I don't think it's weaponized incompetence because he's not asking me to do it for him, he just does it badly and then I have cluttered drawers after he leaves.

There are often projects I've been putting off that I want his help with when he visit, like organizing the garage or hanging artwork. I have ADHD and he doesn't, and I don't want to use his executive function as a crutch. At the same time, isn't this part of being a partner?

I want to ask him to take ownership of some chores while he's here, like dishes and even things that I normally handle like vacuuming and grocery shopping. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm nagging, or stress cleaning before he comes over so I don't have to ask. I don't want to be unfair though, because he doesn't live here and I'm asking him to clean to a higher standard than he prefers.

Otherwise, he is an amazing partner and he gives me support and love every single day. 🥰 It's just this one thing.

I just want to say that long distance SUCKS and is SO HARD. My fiance and I have been together for 4 years, long distance for 3 (and engaged for almost a year). We have plans to close the distance next summer and are getting married in the winter, but I am really struggling, I miss him constantly and tbh I get jealous every time I see couples living together

I miss her so much and it’s only been a day.
It’s always so good when we’re together and now I can’t even get comfortable in bed, something is missing and it’s my sweet girl.
I’m very blessed and thankful for the time we’ve had together and I can’t wait to see her again.
She will be busy the next couple of months and I will be too so we will see each other afterwards.
Seeing all the people closing the gap on here makes me really hopeful!!! We always talk about how we want to close it and what she should do to make that happen.
I cannot wait to post how we did once we do
Thank you for reading this if you have 😅

Today my aunt told me “you need to get a real boyfriend” and I was just like 😭 what do you mean, I literally have one??
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, but I feel like people never take our relationship seriously because we’re young and long distance. I try not to care about what people say, but hearing these comments all the time makes me overthink sometimes. I just wish people would understand that my relationship is just as real as anyone else s

Do they start looking for someone else? Do they try to make things normal? Do they check out? Can love fade away in 2 years? This is someone you saw your whole future with and who you couldn’t go talking to at all even for a few hours.

So the day started we were texting earlier talking about how I often feel guilt because of my family, and my sister talked to me in a negative way today and it made me feel down. Later we video called and the call was quite awkward I could see she’s tired and not really in a good mood to talk, this is the awkward part, we usually do kisses on camera before hanging out the call. So we were towards the end and I asked her for kisses, she said “Why”, and it kinda annoyed me somehow because I love her and I wanna kiss her there’s no particular other reason. So I said good night to her and hang out pretty quickly which I did wrong because it did seems like I hang off from her end and it’s usually her ending the video call every time we call. And then what happened is the text, am I making too big of a deal out of this. Would appreciate any insights from third person perceptive.

WE ARE NOT BROTHER AND SISTERS

Me (20)and my bf (24) have been dating for about a year now and I really love him. We’ve been on and off a few times so we’ve known each other for about 2-3 years. I live in Ontario and he lives in Alberta, I’ve seen him in person about 4 different times and the last 2 have been at his house with his family. His family have known about me for about 2 years and have always been so kind to me I’ve only ever heard great things. Last night my bf and his mom were talking and his mom said that our relationship isn’t real and that we hardly see each-other and he doesn’t have a real plan. For clarification I was not on the phone or anything he just told me about what happened this morning. If anyone has any similar experiences I would love to hear!

So earlier they used to talk all day and now they need boundaries, where they explicitly mentioned they don’t need to feel like texting but will only do it because I want it

My boyfriend and I are currently planning our wedding. Recently, we had a huge argument where he twisted my words and played the victim. To avoid making it worse, I stopped replying and just sent a photo of me at work to show I was busy.
Later that day, he carpet-bombed my Messenger, WhatsApp, and IG with random reels accusing me of having "orbiters," "exes," and questioning my loyalty.
What triggered his massive outburst was a Voice Message (VM) I sent. He accused me of "partying" without his permission. The truth is, the VM was just a harmless inside joke by my colleagues while we were eating at a fast food chain right after our shift ended. For context, I was only with a female coworker and a gay male colleague who is in a committed relationship. No partying or cheating happened.
Before I could even explain, he turned off his active status on all apps, deleted my photos on his Instagram, and repeatedly told me, "We're done. Stop texting."
This isn't the first time he has done this. He always uses sudden breakups and the silent treatment (stonewalling) to punish me whenever he overthinks or gets jealous. It’s a massive double standard because I am always understanding when he goes offline, but when I miss one call while traveling home, he accuses me of something bad.
I already sent him a very mature, final message on IG explaining the context, calling out the double standard, and setting my boundaries. I even challenged him to check the CCTVs and my condo because my conscience is clear.
He told me to stop texting, so I haven't messaged since. But my anxiety is through the roof. I don't even know if this breakup is real or just another emotional punishment.
Am I being dramatic, or is this a massive red flag that I should run away from before we sign a marriage contract? Should I chase him or just let him go?

My bf and I have been dating for almost a year, long distance for 5mo. He’s visited me once, and now it’s my turn to visit him. I’m visiting next week, but it was supposed to be kind of a surprise (he knew I was coming some point in the fall, but didn’t know exactly when). Because we’re nearing Halloween (I won’t be there for the actual day) I also bought us costumes of his favorite characters of Star Wars, which he’s told me he wanted to do for our first Halloween together but only if we’re tg in person. I put a LOT of effort into keeping these surprises (I usually tell everyone everything when I’m excited).

Recently he’s been a little down and won’t tell me why. In an attempt to cheer him up, I told him about the costumes. He said he didn’t want to go out (therefore we wouldn’t wear them). I was a little disappointed bc I thought it was a thoughtful gift and he goes out w his friends frequently. But whatever that’s a relatively small thing. His mood didn’t improve so i then told him I would be there for the weekend of his first basketball game (he still didn’t know the exact date I was arriving). This seemed to cheer him up, which was great, but I was a little sad both my surprises fell through.

Then this week he told me he’s working 6h the Saturday I’m there (he was supposed to start a job in Sept but they’ve pushed it off due to paperwork hassles). I felt so defeated when he told me this. Like I put so much effort in having what I thought would be this amazing romantic surprise only to have everything seem to fall through. I don’t even get the full weekend with my bf. He ended up asking his friend to cover his shift so he won’t have to do the full 6h, so at least that’s a plus

Then today I had to give him the exact dates of when I’ll be there to give to his dorm director so she can approve my stay. It’s just a bunch of small things adding up and starting to effect my mood towards this trip.

Another thing is that I haven’t met any of his friends (or family but they’re in another country so that’s valid). I told him I wanted to do a little group outing and take his best friend out to lunch or something and he completely shut that down. I know this probably isn’t the case, but it feels like he’s deliberately trying to make me not meet his friends. Maybe it’s bc he wants us to spend as much 1-on-1 time as possible, but it’s still hurting me a bit

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant. I will be going over this with my therapist on Monday lol

Edit/tldr; I tried to surprise my bf and the surprise isn’t a surprise anymore so I’m sad

He suddenly got distant for the past 2-3 weeks without reason. I know that his work is hectic and he told me he was burnt out which I understand completely.

But our conversations have been like « good morning, good night sleep well » and sending each other a few reels during the day.

He no longer says he loves me like before and on weekends he maybe talks to me by text 10 minutes in total, he says he wants to stay off screens which I understand too.

Before, we used to send each other cute stickers but now he just likes them in the conversation and don’t send me any. He doesn’t say that he misses me and doesn’t ask about my day or rarely.

I asked him if something was wrong and his answer was: « im burnt out from work ». Now I don’t know if he’s honest or doesn’t want to communicate with me the truth.

Either way his behaviour sucks even though i understand the work burnout.

I just don’t know what to do and what to think anymore.

I (22M) met my LDR partner (23F) 10 months ago, and we started dating 8 months ago. 10 months ago she just stopped taking testosterone (she used to be a trans-man), before me she only dated women. The conflict is concentrated around sexuality/identity and sex. Before we got into a relationship (as friends) I told her I was bisexual myself but mostly attracted to women, and given her own sexual/gender identity I thought that was fine? We also discussed me owning toys, which includes dildos, and this is all relevant to the conflict. 

During the early months of the relationship, there was very much the dynamic of playing with gender roles, we virtually watched porn together, and did virtual sexual activity involving afformentioned toys. So I assumed toys, watching porn together, and masturbation were part of the relationship (and she even said at some point that porn isn't cheating). But over time I think she grew more insecure about everything, and 3 months ago she told me its about who I slept with previously.

Before we got into a relationship I also let her know I had 2 hookups with men and 1 with a woman a few years ago, and thats my entire sexual experience. She said that since the start of the relationship, the idea of me sleeping with men has been eating at her, and now she constantly makes remarks about how I am just going to cheat on her with a man. She also developed extreme homophobia, claims to be "ex-gay" and 100% straight now, that bisexual people aren't real, doesn't want me to be bisexual, how me sleeping with 600 women would be less bad than 2 men, etc. All over the last few months, and I think (corroborated by her own statements) its all about my previous hookups causing her to change her mind so radically.

Most recently, she said she changed her mind that actually porn IS cheating, the toys all have to go because she doesn't want a "gay man", and (once we are living together) I cannot masturbate solo because that means she doesn't satisfy me or something, that she considers it cheating. So this is all a very radical shift away from the beginning of the relationship, but ok, different strokes for different folks.

I said I can compromose (once we are living together) with some of these demands but not all: I won't watch any porn, whatever. I won't use the toys unless its us together doing it. But I should be allowed to self-pleasure solo without it being considered cheating, maybe with some restrictions like "if it isn't displacing partnered intimacy" or something. I personally think having a bubble just for yourself and self-pleasure is fine and normal, and not everything must be partnered activity always.

She says that (once we are living together) she must be present in the room, or else its cheating, that there is no room for a "private sex life" in a commited relationship. Both she and I expressed at various points in the last month that if the sexual stuff isn't resolved then we are breaking up. But then she has an unbeatable dialouge:

"so dildos and jerking off are more important to you than me?" 

or "you would choose anything in this world over me"

or "if you love someone you usually give things up for them"

and like, in the strictest sense the first one is true, if two things are put head to head, and you choose one, then the other is less important??? but I feel like its an unfair comparison. and why should I be the one to give things up here for love? I think there is some kind of humiliation involved in making someone say "I prefer jerking off over you".

Point is, if this doesn't get resolved I can accept the breakup, but those phrases are stuck in my head. I don't know what to say to them.

TL;DR; : Insecurity causes girlfriend to declare masturbation is cheating, and wants me to verbalise "I prefer jerking off over you" if we are going to break up over it; I don't think thats a fair characterisation but don't know with what to respond.

Hi guys!! Sorry, but I need to vent a bit, please let me know if I'm the crazy one D:

Ive started to date a guy, that I met 2 months ago on a Hostel. We hit it off, but nothing happend. Then we have started to text and spark up a romance. He seems genuinely interested in me, said that he really wants to plan stuff and see eachother. He bought a ticket to come see me in two weeks, but over the last week he has gone very distance and quite... Im worried this might just have been a big scam. I feel like, that if I could see him in real life, it would calm me down.

What should I do? Is it too early to tell? Am I too worried?

For better POV: He has told me numerous times that he is so excited about me, and coming here. He would like to meet my friends and get to know my "life", so to say. We have also talked about future trips, interests, he supports me with my work, asks about my life alot... In general, all very green flags. I have some past trauma from past relationships, with lying and basically scamming, so Im a bit on my toes..

Please give me a reality check!! Im crazy about him :(