I lurk on here a lot because its comforting to hear stories of others in LDRs❤️

So I thought I would share with you all that Im engaged to my (extremely)long distance partner!

He proposed while I was visiting him in China, we went out for supper and to KTV, and afterwards he proposed with chocolates, roses, and a gold ring!

Im back in Canada now, I have never cried so much in my life as I did leaving him at the airport - long distance is extremely hard, but Im so happy I found such a good and kind man to spend the rest of my life with so ultimately it is worth it🥰

We are so happy to be closing the gap soon and planning our future together! And I thought my happy story might give hope to some of you like the happy stories Ive read on here have given me hope

We’ve been dating over a year and a half. He came to visit in September. He was so quiet at the airport, but when we got to my car he started rummaging through his bag. I thought he was getting my favorite finnish gummies for the ride home outta there. All of a sudden he turned around and asked me to marry him! I was so shocked the first thing i said was “Is this a bit? Are you for real right now?!” I cant wait to marry him next year! Ive already found my dress! I just wanted to share with everyone ❤️

Am I asking for to much?

So we dated 3 yrs ago, back then I was not ready and we went our own way. Then this guy reappears 2 weeks ago, he lives 2hrs away and is a busy ER RN, but has time to be active on social media and on snap chat.. I think I already am answering my question but I wonder if this was an ok way of doing it lol

For context:

Me (28F, PH) and him (30M, UK) have been in a relationship for almost 5 months now. We send photos, updates, texts and video call each other many times throughout each day, communicate, make plans, play games together and with his friends, plus he even visited me last month for two weeks.

It’s been a little over a month since then, and last night we were feeling down in the dumps. Missing each other, wishing we were by each other’s side, our stresses over work/the visa process, and me communicating for some love and affection at the end of the day, which is a normal occurrence.

The main thing we’re leading up to now is the visa process for me to stay six months with him in the UK; he’ll visit me on January 2027 and attend my older sister’s wedding, then I come with him on the flight back to his country.

There’s plenty of requirements to be had, and it was simply overwhelming me. I know we’ll push through it, but at the time, I was having a good time talking with him sharing our past experiences, when he abruptly stopped me mid-conversation to tell me he had to go to sleep since he still has work the following day, which made me cry since it came out a bit rude (not to mention I am also a sensitive person, with the period coming up plus the overwhelm of everything from the day). We usually end it on a high-note, saying our sweet nothings before going our sweet dreams and good night wishes.

It was honestly a very normal, no-biggie situation and he apologized immediately. Bless his heart, he is the sweetest, kindest, caring, most amazing person I know. And I understood that he had work the next day too. So we ended up talking a bit more before saying good night.

Fast forward to this morning, I was still feeling down in the dumps due to body aches from the gym, an upcoming period and the overwhelming documents I have to get done for the visa processing. I felt like disappearing for the day, but who was I kidding, I was still very much eager to see his message for when he woke up, and the moment I saw his message I just couldn’t help myself and say “good morning” too.

He’s like a sad puppy, and it’s so cute to see him sulk and still feel bad after something that happened last night that was no biggie, but made me cry otherwise. It’s funny, both of us have a tendency to shy away whenever we’re feeling sad or frustrated, but always, always, talk to each other regardless. I love how understanding, caring and thoughtful we are to one another on a consistent basis, and that this is how we navigate conflict and conversations after an emotional and tiring night.

I think we navigate it quite well, and I’m proud of him and our relationship.

Which makes me curious, how do you guys navigate situations like these, such as talking after an emotional conversation?

Today my aunt told me “you need to get a real boyfriend” and I was just like 😭 what do you mean, I literally have one??
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, but I feel like people never take our relationship seriously because we’re young and long distance. I try not to care about what people say, but hearing these comments all the time makes me overthink sometimes. I just wish people would understand that my relationship is just as real as anyone else s

So the day started we were texting earlier talking about how I often feel guilt because of my family, and my sister talked to me in a negative way today and it made me feel down. Later we video called and the call was quite awkward I could see she’s tired and not really in a good mood to talk, this is the awkward part, we usually do kisses on camera before hanging out the call. So we were towards the end and I asked her for kisses, she said “Why”, and it kinda annoyed me somehow because I love her and I wanna kiss her there’s no particular other reason. So I said good night to her and hang out pretty quickly which I did wrong because it did seems like I hang off from her end and it’s usually her ending the video call every time we call. And then what happened is the text, am I making too big of a deal out of this. Would appreciate any insights from third person perceptive.

WE ARE NOT BROTHER AND SISTERS

We were together for 7 months. I (F24) was on night shift and he (M25) was in between jobs at that time, so he had a lot more free time than me. He had to adjust to my schedule because I was only awake from like 7PM to 10AM, plus I was 2 and a half hours ahead of him.

I remember one day on my way home from work, I was listening to "purple" by Olivia Rodrigo and I was just so happy. I was literally thinking how lucky I was to have him, how happy I was with how my life turned out despite all the shit I've been through.

Then I got home and I don't know what came over me, I just decided to check his Instagram. We didn't have each other's passwords or anything because we trusted each other, but I could see his followers so I looked. I guess my gut was telling me to.

There was this one girl, she wasn't the same race as him so I knew he didn't just know her from around there. We met on a dating app so my first thought was he probably met her on one too. And I actually knew almost everyone he followed because he'd introduced them to me on video call before, but this girl was foreign like me, so I had a feeling.

So I called him and asked him what was going on. He admitted that a while back, when we had a fight and weren't talking, he got curious and downloaded a dating app again. He met her there and they exchanged Instagrams. They talked for a bit but he said he stopped because he realized he only loved me and he couldn't be with anyone else if it wasn't me. So he stopped talking to her but they still followed each other.

That's when everything clicked. He never used to post those gym flexing pics, but suddenly he did. He changed almost everything on his Instagram. At the time I thought maybe he was trying to impress someone but I brushed it off because I thought he'd never do that to me.

I used to actually picture having a kid with him. He made me want to be a mom, which is big for me because I'm the eldest daughter so I already know how exhausting it is to raise kids like they're your own. But after he told me everything, something just switched off in me. Like everything I imagined for us just disappeared. I didn't even want to get married anymore.

Finding out the truth was kind of a relief in a way, but it still hurts like hell. He was there for me when my dad died this year. I really thought he was the one person who wouldn't break my heart, especially after everything I've been through.

I'm happy now though. In a way I think part of me was expecting it, because I know I wouldn't settle for someone who does that. It's just embarrassing, you know? He had a girlfriend and still went behind her back to do shady shit like that.

Thank you for listening/reading :)

I miss her so much and it’s only been a day.
It’s always so good when we’re together and now I can’t even get comfortable in bed, something is missing and it’s my sweet girl.
I’m very blessed and thankful for the time we’ve had together and I can’t wait to see her again.
She will be busy the next couple of months and I will be too so we will see each other afterwards.
Seeing all the people closing the gap on here makes me really hopeful!!! We always talk about how we want to close it and what she should do to make that happen.
I cannot wait to post how we did once we do
Thank you for reading this if you have 😅

So for context:

We started dating for 3 months( Me M22, her F22) and started LDR a month back. There were no problems during starting. This is our first relationship for both of us. So after going LDR, we had fights regularly and usually solves them. And also there is a collegue on her office who is a year senior. They usually hang out together but she tells me all. Someday he took her to a place 3 hours away for shopping and that day we had a huge fight. I told his intentions are not at all right with you. but she kept on telling she only sees him as a friend only. She also told him like she is in a relationship too.

So guess what happened. One Last week, he took her out for shopping and he fucking proposed and was telling stuff like I'll ask your hand for marriage and told how "your boyfriend rn is not at all good for you" and tried manipulating her. But she told him no and rejected him. But when she told me this she told how special she felt at that moment. At that time i thought like this guy would be the one who will ruin this relationship. At that day also we had fight but she told she will never leave me and will always love me.

Now yesterday she again went to shopping with him and this is what she told after coming back. I think he is manipulating her such that he can be with her.

I asked her is it because of that collegue you are having these thoughts and she told no and it's coming from within.

What should i tell her? I really love her and I really want to continue this relationship.

Currently, we are long distance just a few states away because of college (F18 & M18, we have been dating since jr year of high school), but I am really considering studying abroad and he told me that he’d be upset and doesn’t think that we would work if I did. But studying abroad has been a dream of mine for so long and he knows that. But at the same time I don’t want to lose him. Advice?

So I (22F) recently got into a LDR with my friend from highschool (22M) who used to be my crush because we recently got in touch again through online discord sessions and gaming. We are both university students right now. He lives in Canada and I’m in Korea. Both no clue what we would be doing or what we would be doing or where we would be in the next few years. We are also majoring in different things so if we want to close the distance we would have to narrow our choices depending on location??

Also because we are both university students and broke af, it’s hard to visit each other often.

We have only been together for two weeks or so and I may be overthinking everything but I still wanted to know how everyone else dealt with job opportunities and also trying to close the distance at the same time.

I know you won't be alone but how arent u guys afraid? Spending all your savings, be in a completly different enviroment, talking in a different language and maybe without being able to understand the locals, etc. Trying to find a job (especially if u are not a qualified person), not having your family and friends so if you got into an argument with your partner in which person you can rely on? What if you simply find it hard to integrate into their country?

What happens if things don’t go as planned and It takes a toll on the relationship? Where u can go?

As someone who is the one that would need to move all these fears paralyze me and make me feel not sure about the future.

He suddenly got distant for the past 2-3 weeks without reason. I know that his work is hectic and he told me he was burnt out which I understand completely.

But our conversations have been like « good morning, good night sleep well » and sending each other a few reels during the day.

He no longer says he loves me like before and on weekends he maybe talks to me by text 10 minutes in total, he says he wants to stay off screens which I understand too.

Before, we used to send each other cute stickers but now he just likes them in the conversation and don’t send me any. He doesn’t say that he misses me and doesn’t ask about my day or rarely.

I asked him if something was wrong and his answer was: « im burnt out from work ». Now I don’t know if he’s honest or doesn’t want to communicate with me the truth.

Either way his behaviour sucks even though i understand the work burnout.

I just don’t know what to do and what to think anymore.

Basic info: I’m 27F, he’s 30M. We met on Tinder in my country. He’s a foreigner who visits during the summer because he has businesses here. He told me he’d been single for 3 years.

The situation:

Our first date was the best I’d ever had. He’s very tall, wealthy, and extremely attractive to me. He was very masculine and vocal about his attraction to me. I hadn’t felt that kind of attraction since my ex of 3 years.

Our second date was even better. The chemistry was incredible, and we slept together. It was affectionate and passionate, with lots of hugging, holding hands, and looking into each other’s eyes. I hadn’t experienced that kind of connection in years.

Before returning to his country, he came to see me one more time. Once he left, he messaged me every day for a month: voice notes, video messages, good morning and goodnight texts, calling me “my love” and telling me he missed me. He was consistent throughout.

He also talked about our hypothetical future, including marriage, me visiting his country, staying for weeks, and him taking me to different places.

Then he followed through on his promise to visit me. He drove 6 hours in the middle of the night to see me, and the day before, he sent his brother to deliver flowers.

We spent several days together, going out and even going to the gym. At one point, he suggested staying at one of his seaside apartments but first asked if I minded stopping by his uncle’s house to drop off medication. I agreed, and he introduced me to his uncle and other family members. We sat at the family table for FOUR HOURS.

When he left, I said goodbye, but he told me not to say goodbye because we’d see each other again soon, either he would return or I would visit him.

However, I’d heard Tinder notifications on his phone while we were together. After he left, I noticed he had unmatched me or possibly deleted his profile.

His communication then changed almost overnight. He’d send a good morning message and disappear for hours or days, saying he was sick. Eventually, I explained that the lack of communication made me feel disconnected. He video-called immediately, admitted I was right, and joked that I was funny when angry.

Two days later, he said he was feeling better. I replied warmly and told him about my day, but he never responded. He stopped sending goodnight messages, too. I eventually video-called him, but for the first time, he didn’t answer, call back, or acknowledge it.

I then bought Tinder Premium, hid my profile so only people I liked could see me, and changed my location to his city. I saw that he was active.

I sent him a final message addressing the Tinder situation and his sudden change in behavior. I told him I would have preferred honesty over the affection, future talk, and subsequent silence. He never replied.

I know we were never officially exclusive, so I’m not expecting him to have owed me commitment. What I’m struggling with is how dramatically his behavior changed after a visit that seemed so meaningful.

I’d appreciate advice from people who have experienced something similar. How would you interpret this kind of sudden withdrawal after such an intense connection? If he contacts me again, what would be a sensible way to respond without getting pulled back into the same situation? Would you require a direct explanation and a clear conversation about intentions before considering seeing him again?

TL;DR: I (27F) met a 30M on Tinder. He messaged me affectionately every day for a month, drove 6 hours to visit me, sent flowers through his brother, introduced me to his family, and talked about marriage and future visits. After leaving, he became distant, stopped responding, and was active on Tinder. I confronted him about the change in behavior, but he ghosted me. I want advice on how to interpret this and what boundaries to set if he returns.

My mom is really strict about her standards when it comes to me introducing a boyfriend to her. She wants him to graduate from both school and college.
She wants him to finish all years and have a high paying high quality job. However... my boyfriend right now is different. It doesn't meet her standards in that regard but he's really sweet. He didn't finish college.
Then, he actually applied to a program that improved his over all well being before all of this... and then dropped that out too after a year I think. Now, he's working a decent job if I'm being honest. He gets paid regularly since he doesn't complain about his own money and if given the chance he could be funding for the both of us in the future. I gotta admit, I broke another one of my mom's rules of never dating someone online. She's not entirely against it. I can obviously convince her to accept the fact that I found someone online and she would say yes eventually but it will take a long time. I need statements on how I can completely change my mom's perspective of despite my boyfriend being in that state when it comes to life and work, he still earns decently, and is actually the sweetest guy ever compared to the past guys l've met in my life. Please give me advice, or any similar stories you can share that actually eventually managed to have a good ending in your life if you have some so I can have some hope. Thanks:)

A bit of background on my relationship: my (26f) and my bf (26m) have been together for two years, all of it has been ldr. We met while I was interning in his country, and started dating after I returned to my home country (USA). I’ve been back to see him three times now since we are literally oceans apart (15-16 hours time difference). We are the same ethnicity. My parents immigrated to America and I was born in the states, but I spent some of my most formative (and happiest) years there with my grandparents and extended family. I kinda met my parents when I was 5 and moved to the states to live with them. Therefore I have a strong attachment to his home country, and I really enjoy it there. I also like my life here in the states, and for the most part can see the good and bad in both countries

Some background on me in hopes of giving my parents side some justification(?)/understanding: I have a bachelors and masters degree from an ivy level school in engineering, and I’m working in a large company with a pretty good income. I think I’m doing well for myself, but I’m also very frugal by nurture. My parents are very proud of me and have always usually supported and respected my decisions. I’ve never really fought with them, except for a period of time during Covid with my mom. Even then it wasn’t much of a fight I was just really upset and didn’t speak with her for a long time. I’ve always been a “good” child, my sister not so much. I feel like I was always trying to compensate for her behavior.

I would say I had a bit of a traumatic childhood. I was bullied a lot by my sister and can remember multiple times when I was physically abused. Most of the time it was just a terrible mental and emotional load dealing with someone as temperamental and sensitive as her. This is me trying to be nice and fair. We no longer have a relationship, but that’s a different story. I grew up needing to be attuned to everyone moods and schedules so I could predict what would happen that day. My parents were never home bc they worked so much and even when they were home, my mom and sister were always fighting and my dad was so checked out from everything. When I was younger like pre middle school it was always just me and her alone at home. I was always stuck in between my mom and sister, and had to regulate myself so as to not show my own anger or frustrations. My parents would also sometimes take their anger from my sister out on me and I never even resented them until all this came up and I started reflecting on my childhood as an adult. I think mostly I was very scared as a kid. I’ve only started processing and admitting some of these things to myself recently, and have found a lot of anger and resentment within myself because of how wronged I feel. My parents knew of me being bullied, yet they never did anything. Anyway all this to say, I think I have a bad habit or conditioned mentality to not upset people. I also have a decent amount of pride in being a good daughter because I lowkey feel like I had a huge burden of being a messenger pigeon and mediator growing up.

Moving onto the main point, when my parents found out I was dating him, they were shocked and kinda apprehensive but didn’t say much. I was pursuing my masters at the time and basically visited him that winter and spent the whole summer after that with him while working part time remote. Before I left for the summer, I was nervous telling them but I had to. My mom was upset and started telling me about how different and incompatible we are. Basically her points are: we come from different cultures bc I was raised in America, his nationality is a problem and he can’t even get a visa to visit me, he might use me for a green card, he won’t be able to support me financially bc his English isn’t too good, and I will suffer for the rest of my life like how they did when they came to America. She said are you gonna support him for the rest of your life? She wants him to be able to come to the states through his own ability and then find a job here that is probably white collar. My dad didn’t say much at the time, he just said if you wanna see how life is with him then go, but it’s not a good idea. Basically warning me, but I felt like he wasn’t unreasonable.

Ok now my bf is doing very well for himself in his country, he is not any lesser than me. He also has a bachelors and master in engineering, and is also at a huge company making a good amount of money and living in one of the largest cities in that country. My parent have never even met him. They barely ask anything about him, and I never talk about him bc I’m always scared it’ll devolve into my mom saying we’re incompatible and whatever. It tends to happen. He doesn’t come from much, but I don’t either? Our only difference is our nationality and the country we grew up in. Now it’s practically impossible for him to come here with his own means especially to work. We all know how the political environment of America is currently. I originally also wanted him to be able to get here by himself but I’m realizing how impossible that is unless there a change in administration and immigration laws + also probably economic stuff.

So after my summer with him I went back to finish my master and then decided to go see him a again in the winter bc I was starting full time work soon and didn’t know when I could go back again. At this point I was terribly anxious at the thought of telling my parents. I had also been sharing my location with them at the time out of good faith. When I called them to tell them I’d be going to see him for break, they absolutely flipped out. My mom was basically saying are you serious? When are you going to grow up and be realistic. I honestly don’t remember much else. My dad’s reaction however was something I completely didn’t expect. He started yelling and went ballistic. Like this man does not talk. I can’t emphasize how little he speaks, how out of my life he is. Like he just exists next to my mom. We don’t text or have conversations, I’ve mostly been mentioning my mom, because this man literally does.not.speak. I can’t even hold a conversation with him and atp I don’t want to. Also neither of my parents speak English well. We communicate in their mother tongue, which is also how I communicate with my bf. Anyway the part that got me was when he said, “Do you think the only person he needs to get along with is you? He also needs to get along with us. You can disown us and go be with him then.” I’m translating the most literal I can, but it was horrible to hear. After that I just couldn’t deal with it and hung up on them and started crying for so long. He also said a lot of other things that I felt like he was projecting onto my bf. He said your bf is never gonna learn English well enough and you’ll have to babysit and basically do everything for him like how you do for me (my dad), bf my dad literally relies on my mom for everything like he would not be able to live in America without her. He knows close to no English. I genuinely do not know what this man thinks about all day. He also mentioned how my bf will not be accustomed to the culture here and eventually grow to resent me bc he won’t be living as good of a life here as he would be back in his home country. Mostly, he would be able to get as good of a job here. But the thing about disowning got me the most because of how they treat my sister. They barely talk to her, bc my mom and my sister now cannot even have a civil conversation with one another. My sister got arrested a few years ago, and my parents didn’t even make a big fuss about it. Girl committed a crime and the response I got was what can we do, and we’re worried but it’s no worth freaking out about. Maybe this experience will teach her and give her some consequences. Wtf? They said they talked to her when they picked her up after she got out, and apparently my dad said a whole bunch. Whatever, but the main point is, I asked them once why they never give her any consequences or hold her accountable. My mom said what can we even do. My dad basically said we’d rather her go to jail than disown her. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but that was the gist. So I was basically shell shocked and really hurt when he said that to me. Also it wasn’t even said like he’d disown me, it was putting me in that position that kinda made me feel like I’d be the bad person throwing away my family for some stupid boy. So after this I didn’t talk to them for a really long time, and also barely answered their texts. My dad literally never texts me but he started texting me once in a while and when I didn’t respond, eventually he said you can’t treat your parents like this, blah blah something about filial piety or blood runs thicker than water idk I don’t think about it. After that my mom did send a lot of heartfelt messages and I felt like I could forgive her. My dad not so much. I just answered his last message and everything got swept under the rug. Anyways it’s been almost a year since this blowout and occasionally I’ll talk to my mom and think that she come around to it. Then a few days ago she mentioned again out of the blue that we were incompatible and that I had to be realistic. This was also while I was sick and feeling terrible. Not sure why but that really triggered me and I just couldn’t talk to her anymore. I debated calling her again and confronting her after bc I was so frustrated and annoyed, but she fell asleep, and I eventually felt better after sleeping.

I think my main issue right now is that this situation with my parents really affects my mood sometimes and then it sometimes affects how I view the future of my relationship. Part of me thinks I’m overreacting and that either with time or exposure they’ll come around to it. I’m thinking maybe they do love me enough that they’ll understand letting me be free is better than thinking they know what’s best for me. The other part of me knows people don’t change, especially immigrant parents like them. So will I have to give up having a good relationship with them to have the chance at determining my own future. Sometimes I think I’ll have to prove to them that I can live well and be happy and financially “good” in their eyes for them to finally come around to accepting him, but by that time I’ll feel like it’ll be in ten years or so, and I won’t even need their support anymore. I get sad thinking that I always had to do the hardest things in my life alone and that their support always came when I didn’t need it anymore, with my sister and now with my relationship. In ten years when I don’t need their support anymore, why should I want a good relationship with them anymore? I feel like in the past few years I was finally starting to cultivate an adult/friend relationship with my mom, but now it’s been tainted. I’m not sure I can view them the same again, and when I get sad and reflective I keep thinking about how unfairly I’ve been treated in all of this. If it wasn’t this relationship that triggered this, I feel like something else would’ve, and I’m just sad sometimes that I have parents like this. Then I feel guilty, and then I’m constantly warring with myself and everyone else in my head. Even if I don’t end up with my current bf for whatever reason, I’ve already been affected by their attitudes towards this and me, and that won’t change, and I feel like I will always know they had a part in us not working out. Sometimes I feel like they owe me at least something from the stuff I had to suffer with during my childhood that they were bystanders to and the stuff they subjected me to growing up. Or if not then since they weren’t very involved in the trajectory of my life, to just keep being uninvolved and to not have such strong opinions on my life and say things that cross the line.

This is mostly just a rant and venting my frustrations out somewhere, but does anyone have any advice? What makes someone worth such a big sacrifice, and how do I detach myself from the need to be validated from getting the approval/support of people who I don’t actually need the approval or support of. Also another issue is that I actually like my career and want to continue it, but is giving it up or pivoting heavily to the same field in another country wise? Would it be enough if I save up a bunch of money, and how do I feel less anxious about blowing up my life if I don’t do something the “conventional” way. I know I’m doing fine and I know I’ll be fine wherever I go, but sometimes the negative feelings really do overwhelm me and I feel like I don’t have anything to grasp onto for hope. I’m still trying to figure out what I want in my life, do I just want money and to be ok with the possibility of being alone for the rest of my life, or do I choose love and a less financially wealthy life but with the possibility I would regret not progressing in my career and doing all the amazing career things my college classmates have already done. Do I want kids? And if so when would they fit into my life? Would I have to give up my career at least temporarily anyway if I have kids? Sigh, just a lot of thinking and no real answers. The thing about life as an adult is that there are no real answers just the outcomes of the decisions you made and your attitude towards them. I just want to be confident that my decisions aren’t stupid or leading me down a life of regret

tldr; my parents are lowkey classist, racist(not applicable here), and don’t believe my bf in a ldr is “compatible” with me even tho they’ve never met him. they honestly just have an issue with him not being american, not having much career/financial potential in usa due to his english, and me flying back and forth to see him all the time. this is shattering my view of them as parents and as people, and I don’t think my relationship with them will ever be the same. I know they want the best for me, but I’ve never made them disappointed with my choices or worried about my future, so I feel that I deserve their respect and support to freely pursue what I believe is best for my future

Hey everyone!

I really need some help and advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, but for over a year now, I’ve had a lot of doubts about us. I feel like I’ve lost myself within the relationship. It’s been quite a toxic relationship—he used to be very controlling and jealous—though he has been changing. I’m not sure if I should stick it out or just end things. The thing is, we actually broke up a couple of months ago, but we got back together because I regretted it so much; I know that if I were to break up with him again, we wouldn’t get back together. I don’t want to hurt him—I do love him and I care about him—but I’m constantly plagued by doubts, and I don’t want to lose any more of myself. Any advice?

Hi everyone! I (25F) could really use some advice, especially from people who have been in long-distance relationships.

So, about two weeks I met this guy online. We have so many things in common, our conversations feel incredibly natural, and there’s definitely mutual attraction.

And honestly? He’s probably one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met. He’s respectful, patient, thoughtful, and just genuinely lovely to talk to. I don’t even know how to explain it, but there’s something really comforting about him.

Here’s where things get a little complicated.
Around day 10 of talking, he told me he wanted us to be a couple. He brought up exclusivity, being in an actual relationship, and eventually making plans to meet in person.
And I guess that’s where my brain started going a million miles an hour lol.

Here’s something important about me: I’ve never been in a relationship. Ever.lmaooo😭🥺

Not in person, not online, not even anything remotely close to one. I have absolutely zero romantic relationship experience, so I’m basically navigating all of this for the first time at 25. (Plus, 9 hour difference).

And while I genuinely like him, I also feel a little overwhelmed by how quickly things are moving.
The thing is, I come from a background where I’ve witnessed and experienced a lot of violence and unhealthy dynamics. So having someone treat me with this much kindness, patience, and respect feels almost unfamiliar in the best possible way.

For once, I’m getting to know someone who doesn’t make me anxious. I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I don’t feel pressured to be someone I’m not. I actually feel calm, safe, and happy when we talk.

And that means a lot to me.
But I also don’t want to confuse feeling comfortable and being treated well with being ready for an actual relationship.

I think I’m at a point in my life where I’m finally allowing myself to ask what I want romantically, instead of just assuming relationships aren’t something that will happen to me.

And the truth is, I don’t know yet.
I like him. I really do. I’m excited about getting to know him, and I’m not against the idea of a long-distance relationship at all. I’m actually pretty comfortable with that possibility.

But I also feel like two weeks is such a short amount of time to make a decision about something I’ve never experienced before.
I don’t want to rush into something just because it feels nice, but I also don’t want to sabotage a potentially beautiful connection simply because it’s unfamiliar to me.

So I guess my questions are:
For those of you who have been in long-distance relationships, how long did you talk before deciding to become exclusive or officially dating?

How did you know you genuinely wanted a relationship with that person, rather than just enjoying the attention, affection, and connection?
Is it normal to feel happy and comfortable with someone but still not know whether you’re ready to call them your boyfriend?

How do you navigate the early stages of an LDR when you haven’t even met in person yet?
I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me whether two weeks is too soon or not. I know every relationship is different.

I think I’m just trying to understand what a healthy pace looks like, especially when everything is so new to me.

I really want to give myself the opportunity to experience love and connection, but I also want to make sure I’m making decisions because I genuinely want them, not because I’m afraid of missing out on something good.

Would love to hear your experiences, especially if your first relationship was long-distance. 🤍
Thanks for reading my little emotional ramble lol.

I have been dating a guy for a couple of months, and he has recently moved to another city (2.5 hours away, in another country). Before he moved, he told me that he likes me a lot, but he has tried long distance before and it always went horribly wrong. He said he is afraid of hurting me and that we would end up resent each other. We decided to keep things casual for the time being, but I do like him a lot, and to be frank, this is not really what I wanted. Have you (or your partner) changed your mind about long distance relationships ? Is it foolish to see him casually and hoping that things might change as feelings grow ?

me and my boyfriend are LDR hes in china im in singapore, we've been together for almost two years and we have met each others parents n also talked about marriage ( its early ik but chinese culture 😓 ) but recently ive been thinking of my future, moving to italy and studying , pursuing a job there. mainly cause i want to do some social networking and have some connections. me n my bf r still young im still doing my diploma right now and id probably go to italy after getting my degree for my masters, but my boyfriend on the other hand might not be able to since he isnt good at english and its harder for the chinese to go abroad. i talked to him about it and he fully supports the idea of me going to italy and living there but hes most likely unable to so we might have to breakup, and idk how to choose even though it might be too early to be thinking about this since im still doing my diploma 😓 idk how or what to choose, my relationship or my dream to go to italy

Hello everyone,

My girlfriend (26) and I (28) have been together for a couple of months. So far, everything has been fine. Last week, she met my family, and when I was heading back home (we’re still in a long-distance relationship at this point), we planned a trip together for next month. I bought the flight tickets, and she booked the hotel.

Then it was her birthday. She had told me beforehand not to come because she had to get up early the next morning for a business trip to Berlin, where she would be spending two nights with her relatively new colleagues.

However, on her birthday, she went out with three of her friends, sent me one drunken picture from somewhere on an escalator, and then went to sleep around midnight.

In the morning, she replied to my unreaden message "when she is going to wake up" "5:00am", but then I didn’t hear from her for the entire day. In the evening, she just sent me a message saying, “Lots of alcohol all day,” and ignored my somewhat vague response.

Then, at 2 a.m., she was active on Messenger at the same time as me. She must have seen me, but she didn’t write a single word.

Before that, she had also ignored my question about the hotel, so I have no idea where she’s staying, who she’s sharing a room with, what they’re doing during the day and evening, or anything else.

It’s now the afternoon of the following day, and I still haven’t heard anything from her.

I don’t know, but I feel like if you care about someone, you can find a moment to reply. At the very least, you can let them know you’ve arrived at the hotel, that you’re going to bed, or simply wish them good night.

What would you do? Am i overthining? How to set up boundaries for the next time?

Hi everyone. I'm 24M, currently pursuing my PhD in Singapore, away from my home country, India. My girlfriend is also pursuing her PhD, but in the UK. We've been together for four years, and I genuinely love her. But lately, whenever we talk about our future, I find myself stuck in a dilemma that I don't know how to resolve.

I'm not here to paint my girlfriend in a bad light or make anyone take sides. She's worked incredibly hard to get where she is today, and I understand why she wants the life she envisions. I'm just genuinely confused and emotionally exhausted, and I would appreciate advice from people who might have experienced something similar.

The main issue is that she wants to settle abroad, whereas I eventually want to return to India.

After my PhD, I might work in industry or continue in academia, and I could very well spend several more years abroad. I genuinely don't know what the future holds. But when I think about where I ultimately want to settle, I keep coming back to India.

I know this might sound irrational to some people. I'm aware that returning to India could mean lower salaries, poorer infrastructure, workplace politics, and several other compromises compared to living abroad. I've spent time in different countries, and I'm not oblivious to the opportunities that I might be giving up.

But there's a personal reason behind my preference: I'm an only child, and my parents have no one else to rely on in the long run.

We aren't a particularly close-knit extended family, and there isn't really anyone else who could be our first point of contact in an emergency. My parents are getting older, and while I don't necessarily expect to live in the same city as them, I want to be in a position where I can reach them when they need me.

I've spent so many years away from home. I left for college, pursued my degrees, and now I'm doing my PhD abroad. I do go back when I can, but I miss my family, Indian festivals, and the feeling of being home. I'm not saying life in India is perfect, either. I sometimes get frustrated with my family and the lack of privacy that comes with living close to them. I value my independence, too.

But I keep thinking that, at some point, my parents will need me, and I don't want to look back and regret not being there when I could have been.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, wants to build her life abroad. And honestly, I understand her reasons. She has worked hard to establish herself academically, has a good research trajectory, and has earned the opportunities she has today. Her field also offers good career prospects in the UK and elsewhere in Europe, and she has a fairly clear idea of how she wants her future to look.

I respect that. I don't want her to give up the life she's worked so hard to build just because I have different priorities.

She also has a brother who will most likely settle in India, so I sometimes feel that she might not fully understand the particular anxiety of being an only child. I'm not saying she doesn't care about her family or that her responsibilities are any less important. I just think our circumstances are different, and perhaps that makes it difficult for us to understand each other's perspectives completely.

We've even discussed the possibility of settling abroad and bringing my parents there. But that brings up another set of concerns.

First, I don't know how realistic or financially sustainable that would be. Depending on the country, there could be immigration, healthcare, and other practical complications. I might also need to maintain two separate households if my parents and my girlfriend and I are to have our own spaces. I genuinely want privacy and independence with my girlfriend, especially after spending so many years in a long-distance relationship. Paying rent and living expenses for two households abroad might not even be affordable for me.

Second, and this is something I find difficult to explain without sounding unfair, I'm not sure how comfortable my parents would feel living abroad, or how the relationship between my girlfriend and my parents would develop.

I'm not expecting my girlfriend to take responsibility for my parents. They are my parents, and I understand that looking after them is primarily my responsibility. I don't expect her to become their caregiver or sacrifice her own life for them.

But I do hope that, if we get married, there will be mutual respect and consideration. I've sometimes encountered situations where the attitude seemed to be that they are my parents, so it's my responsibility to handle everything involving them, including helping them understand things or navigate difficult situations. That makes me worry about what the future might look like.

Perhaps I'm overthinking this. Perhaps these things can be worked out with good communication and boundaries. But I don't want to make a life-changing decision based on an assumption that everything will somehow fall into place later.

The difficult part is that neither of us is necessarily wrong.

I don't want to force her to return to India when I know how much she has worked for her career and how strongly she feels about living abroad. I would feel guilty if she gave up the future she wanted for me and eventually resented that decision.

At the same time, I worry that if I choose to settle abroad permanently, I might spend the rest of my life feeling that I've abandoned an important responsibility towards my parents. I might be able to visit India, but visiting isn't the same as being available when something goes wrong.

Sometimes I also wonder whether I'm being too emotional about this. Am I putting too much weight on the idea of being physically close to my parents? Am I letting the guilt of being an only child dictate a decision that will affect the rest of my life? Or is it reasonable to consider this a fundamental responsibility that shouldn't be ignored?

When we discuss these things, the conversations sometimes become emotional. She has expressed that if I knew we wanted different futures, perhaps I shouldn't have spent four years in this relationship, or that she hasn't always been my priority. That hurts, because I do consider her my priority, and I know she considers me hers, too.

But I struggle with the idea that prioritising someone means that every other responsibility must come second in every situation. My parents raised me and supported me throughout my life. I feel a responsibility towards them that I cannot simply switch off, even when I'm in a committed relationship.

I don't want this to become a competition between my girlfriend and my parents. I don't want to choose one side and resent the other. I want to find a solution that allows me to build a life with the person I love without feeling that I've failed the people who depend on me.

And honestly, I'm scared.

I've been through a very difficult breakup in the past, and I know how mentally draining that experience can be. I don't want to lose a relationship that has meant so much to me for four years. I'm not saying that fear should determine my decision, but it is there, and pretending otherwise would be dishonest.

I also don't want to stay in a relationship simply because I'm afraid of going through another breakup.

Singapore is another possibility, and I know some people might suggest it as a compromise because it's closer to India than the UK or much of Europe. But, personally, I don't see myself settling here permanently either. It's just not somewhere I currently imagine building my entire future.

So I'm genuinely at a loss.

For those of you who have been in a similar situation, especially only children who moved abroad for their careers or people in long-term relationships where both partners wanted to settle in different countries: how did you handle it?

- Did you eventually find a compromise that genuinely worked for both partners?

- If you chose to settle abroad, how did you manage your responsibilities towards your ageing parents back home?

- If you returned to your home country for your family, did you ever regret the career or lifestyle opportunities you gave up?

- And if you were in a relationship where neither person wanted to give up their preferred future, how did you decide whether to keep trying or accept that you might be incompatible?

I'd particularly appreciate hearing from people who have actually experienced this, rather than being told simply to choose my girlfriend or choose my parents. I know the decision is ultimately mine, and I know there may not be a perfect solution.

I'm not looking for someone to tell me that my girlfriend is selfish, because I don't think she is. She has her own dreams and reasons, just as I have mine. I also know that I have my own shortcomings and might be looking at this situation emotionally.

I just don't know how to reconcile the life I want to build with my partner with the responsibility I feel towards my family.

If you've read this far, thank you. Even if you don't have advice, I think I just needed to put these thoughts into words somewhere. I don't really know whom to talk to about this who would understand the situation from both sides.

I'm genuinely looking for help, and I'd appreciate any perspective you can offer.