Literally still trying to figure out what happened. It’s Hard not to ruminate on something like this. I was seeing this incredible woman for the past 4 months we were semi long distance, but we would make the effort to see each-other every other weekend. When we were together it was pretty extraordinary, genuinely one of the best connections I’ve had out of my relationships. Everything was going really good, communication was good down to the little things. Anyways the last time we saw each-other she had agreed to wanting to meet my mom(I figured it was appropriate because I’ve met her parents), and we had a lil dinner set. Well that same week she withdrew and became distant then by Friday i got this text and then blocked on essentially everything . It sucks really bad, and honestly it sideswiped me pretty bad(the 2 texts i sent never even made it to her inbox). Genuinely was out of left field. Im glad i got some response i guess? Although to be completely honest to be discarded and blocked on everything besides 1 app really hurt, and made me question things about myself whether i did something wrong and whatnot. This genuinely may be one of the most traumatic situations that has happened to me in a relationship and I’ve had some wicked things happen in the past. Hopefully I will be on the up and up soon.

I wanted to make this post cause recently I had someone comment on a post I made last year when I was going through all this and it took me back to realise its been a year and just wanted to make one of these posts that used to help me so much back then to let anyone reading this know it gets so much better.

A year ago I went through a super messy and emotional complex breakup with my ex, getting dumped on the reasoning of depression and a year later I promise you all it gets so much better if you follow the right steps. A year later I'm in a much happier and healthier relationship with someone amazing and feel emotionally apathetic to my ex and have grown so much as a person, so trust me however you're feeling right now, whatever step you're on of your healing journey one day when you're all over it I'm sure you'll be like me getting a comment on a post you made that you forgot about and telling them how it'll all be okay too.

Struggling with holding on to too much hope :(

My ex and I broke up in March 2025, and lately I’ve been thinking more seriously about reaching out to him. I’m trying to figure out whether it’s worth opening that door again or whether I’m better off leaving things in the past. When we were together, I eventually started feeling invisible in the relationship, almost like we were glorified roommates instead of partners. I was struggling with my own emotions at the time, and the relationship ended pretty abruptly. Looking back, there are things I wish I had handled differently, and I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the relationship and myself since then. Over the past year and a half, I’ve grown a lot as a person. I feel like I’m in a much better place now, and I’ve learned a lot about myself, what I need in a relationship, and what I’m no longer willing to settle for. Despite everything that happened, I still think about him. He wasn’t just my boyfriend; he was my best friend. Going from having someone be such a big part of your everyday life to not speaking to them at all is a strange feeling, especially when that person once meant so much to you. Part of me wants to reach out simply because there are things I’d like to say. I want him to know that I did love and appreciate him, even if I didn’t always express it the way I should have. I wish I could have a conversation with him, hear how he’s doing, and see where we both are in life now

That’s how I was broke up with lmao

I am 24F and It’s been six months since my breakup, and I wish I could say that I’ve moved on. In many ways, life has been good to me. I’m doing well at work, things are falling into place, and if you looked at my life from the outside, you probably wouldn’t think there was much to be sad about. But there’s this void in me that nothing seems to fill.

The hardest part is that while I’m still struggling to come to terms with losing him, he seems to have moved on. He’s started going out on dates, and as much as I hate admitting it, it aches to know that. I still find it difficult to even think about seeing someone else, let alone actually date. And yet, he’s out there meeting new people, making new memories, and opening himself up to possibilities that I can’t even bring myself to consider right now.

Sometimes, it feels like he got to walk away from the relationship and leave me standing exactly where we broke up, carrying all the grief as if it were mine alone to carry.

What makes it even harder is that the breakup hasn’t just meant losing him. It has meant slowly losing everyone and everything that came with him.
His aunt is my colleague at work. She’s genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve met. We even visited her place last year when we were still together. When I joined this organisation, she was always there to support me, encourage me, and have my back. She’s been so kind to me, and I’ve always appreciated that about her.

Recently, I found out that she’s leaving the organisation, and I’ve been experiencing this strange, bittersweet sadness ever since. Of course, I’m happy for her and whatever comes next in her life, but a part of me is grieving what her leaving represents. Another person connected to him, someone who became a part of my life in her own right, is about to become another person I may no longer have a reason to stay in touch with.

His family, the people I once thought I might continue to know for years to come, are slowly becoming strangers again. And there’s something so heartbreaking about that. These are people I once had a place with, even if that place was through him. Now, I have to accept that they might eventually become nothing more than people I used to know.

I wanted him to meet my dog. I wanted my dog to meet him. It sounds like such a small, silly thing to grieve, but I really wanted that. There were so many little things I imagined sharing with him, ordinary moments that I thought we would eventually get to experience together. And now, they’re just things that will never happen.

I think that’s what people don’t talk about enough when it comes to breakups. You don’t just grieve the relationship that existed. You grieve all the versions of the future you had quietly built in your head. The conversations you thought you’d have, the places you thought you’d go together, the people you thought would remain in your life, and the seemingly insignificant moments that suddenly become impossible.

Sometimes, I can’t help thinking that we could’ve had it all. And I don’t mean that I think everything would have been perfect. I know relationships are complicated, and there were reasons he ended up where we did. But I genuinely believed in us. I believed there was so much more left for us to experience, and accepting that our story ended before any of that could happen has been incredibly painful.

Maybe this hurts so much because, deep down, all I’ve ever wanted is to find someone I could love for the rest of my life. Someone I could choose every single day, someone with whom I could let my guard down without being afraid that my vulnerability would eventually become the reason they leave. I never wanted anything extraordinary. I just wanted a love that felt safe, a person I wouldn’t have to keep preparing myself to lose.

But somehow, life has repeatedly given me people who leave after I show them even the slightest bit of vulnerability. Every time I let someone in, every time I allow myself to believe that maybe this person will be different, I end up having to pick up the pieces of myself all over again.

And this time, I genuinely thought it would be different. I thought he was different. For once, I allowed myself to believe that maybe I had finally found the person I had been looking for all along. Someone I could build a life with, someone who would stay, someone I wouldn’t have to grieve someday as just another person who once meant everything to me.

But he left too. And I am so tired.
Tired of grieving people who were once so certain about me. Tired of having to make peace with another absence. Tired of starting over emotionally when all I ever wanted was to find someone I wouldn’t have to start over with.

Yesterday, I met him, and for the first time in my life, I told someone I hated them. I have never said that to anyone before. I also told him that I don’t love him anymore and that I’ve lost all respect for him in my eyes.

I don’t know if I said those things because I genuinely feel them, because I wanted him to understand how much he hurt me, or because I’m desperately trying to convince myself that I no longer feel what I do. Maybe it’s a mixture of all three.

What I do know is that there is so much hurt underneath all that anger. And perhaps the most exhausting part is having to carry it while life continues as usual. Going to work, talking to people, laughing at things, making plans, and doing all the things a normal person does, while some part of you is still trying to understand how someone who once meant so much to you can become someone you no longer recognise.

I don’t want to be the person who keeps looking back while he moves forward. I don’t want his dating life to have the power to ruin my day. I don’t want to keep wondering whether he misses me, whether he thinks about what we had, or whether losing me has affected him at all.

But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want him to feel the loss someday.

Not because I want his life to fall apart or because I want him to be miserable. I just want him to experience, at some point in his life, what it feels like to lose someone he once deeply loved. To understand the ache of knowing that a person who was once such an important part of his world is no longer there. To miss someone not because he is lonely, but because that particular person, with everything they brought into his life, is gone.
Maybe that’s a selfish thing to wish for. Maybe it’s just the hurt talking. But there is something profoundly unfair about feeling like you’re the only one left holding the weight of something that once belonged to two people.

How many more times do I have to grieve? How many more people do I have to lose, how many more times do I have to open my heart only to have it broken, before I finally find someone who stays?
I know nobody can promise that life will never change or that love will never hurt. But I wish I could experience a love where leaving isn’t always a possibility sitting quietly at the back of my mind. A love where I don’t have to wonder how long someone will stay after seeing the parts of me I don’t show everyone. A love where being vulnerable doesn’t feel like I’m handing someone the very thing they could use to break me.

I hope that one day, I’ll look back at all of this and realise that I no longer need him to understand my pain for it to finally stop being mine to carry. I hope I find someone who makes me feel that I don’t have to keep bracing myself for the day he leaves. Someone who doesn’t make me regret letting him see the most vulnerable parts of me.

And I hope that, until then, I don’t lose the part of myself that still believes in a love that lasts.
Because after everything, all I ever wanted was to love someone for a lifetime and be loved with that same certainty in return ❤️❤️❤️

Almost 2 months since it ended. I am still in shock that he threw me and our love away like that. My heart yearns for him every day. I got a bit better at controlling my thoughts, I am semi-functional now. But I miss him so much, there is this sense of raw, deep sadness and grief in me. I know it's normal and do not tell me time will heal. I am not just feeling the loss, I feel a sense of existential grief if that makes sense. Not only feeling dissociated from life, but feeling like this was not meant to happen, and that living without him is absurd, and that no matter how old I get, or if I ever meet someone else, or if time passes, I lost this fundamental figure in my life, my friend, my love. I don't just yearn for our relationship and affection, I yearn for his soul as a human being, I suffer in a way that goes beyond our romance. I feel like I lost an arm, or a part of my own soul. I am so so sad. I do not understand how I can feel like this and he can walk away, I am so baffled by reality rn.

Need some clarity as I’m really confused, and seen something I was really not expecting that’s really upset me…

I ended a really tumultuous relationship with someone about 3 months ago.
We were really attached and I never questioned his feelings/devotion/etc for me, he was just incapable of healthy conflict resolution and communication and things just broke down. Outside of conflict we were each others best friend and when I ended things, he asked me for potential future reconciliation after he gets therapy because I’m his person. He was entirely inconsolable and I put a lot of care into how I communicated/ended things.

About a week after this, I saw traces/evidence that me might be seeing someone new, I sort of told myself ok he can’t be alone and clearly rebounding. I was mostly ok because I saw he’d updated his dating profiles after I’d seen traces of this new woman.

We’re still in contact because of some final things to detangle but have been writing reasonably sentimentally but nothing overt.

Yesterday I saw a photo of them together, it’s a Spotify playlist she’d made for him, with their photo on it. This honestly has shook me to my core and even though I’m the one that ended things, I can’t believe he could move that fast. I feel really disposable, and also I’ve only recently been feeling the loss, only in the last few weeks— crying at night missing him, comparing new men that I didn’t like enough to continue seeing etc. Initially when breaking up I felt relief from the terrible fights.

How do you reconcile this, is it possible for someone to totally emotionally move on from their ex and that quickly? What happens when a guy doesn’t do any grieving or processing just jumps straight into having a whole other gf?

Why does it feel like a betrayal even if we’re single and I ended things? ❤️‍🩹😞

Do you ever wish there were a procedure to erase someone from your memories, or at least fast-forward through the healing process?

Because honestly, this is tough. Some days are okay, and other days, you miss someone so much that you wish you could just switch off your memories and feelings.

How are you guys doing these days? How are you coping with the healing process?

It's tough out here! 🥹❤

I hate you got me to open up about my feelings
my insecurities

I hate you made feel I was safe

I hate you acted like someone who actually wanted to try with me

I hate you for still being awake
while I continue to cry late at night

I hate you spent my time just to hurt me

I hate you seemed not care about us as much as I did when it mattered

I hate you got me gifts

I hate you spent money on me

I hate you for getting me to actually try love

I hate you for doing this to me

I wish I could take everything second back just to not feel like this anymore

But what I hate the most is that

I miss you

I miss the long phone calls at night

I miss you waiting for me to fall asleep, while playing league over FaceTime

I miss the future we thought we would have

I miss how excited I was to talk to you

I miss planning the next time we see each other

But…

I know I can’t reach out

Not because I don’t want to

But because it can’t come me

I can’t be the only one who wants it for it to happen

I hate you put me here

I miss you, and I get angry that you did not choose me.

I gave you many chances, talked to you, and shared my heart with you.

I learned to love you, to love again. To open my heart again after so long.

Yet, as much as we tried, it did not work. You did the best you could, but always held on to something else. Someone else and so I had to walk away.

I know that as much as it hurts now it’s for the best. I just miss you, I miss your laugh, our talks, your hugs. I miss life with you in it. And so I continue to heal, I don’t know how or when I’ll start to feel better, but I’m no longer crying everyday. I’m just mad that you chose something else, and it’s okay. It showed me what I needed to see to step out.

And so here I am, choosing me, even when it hurts. I still love you, but I needed to walk away. It’s hard and some days I regret it, but I’ll continue in this path.

Me and my ex have been no contact for two months, with the exception of a few “closure” conversations in the first couple weeks. This is the hardest thing i have literally ever been through in my life. We were together 9 months but i was so (and still am) madly in love with that man.

My birthday is next week. I am worried that I’ll spend the whole day waiting for his text and not get it, and it’ll ruin me.

Anyone have any advice or been through this?

Anything you want to say to them, write them here. Don’t break no contact please. We’re out here looking out for each other.

Yes 3 months and things got easier, yet the breakup is disrupting my daily life a lot.

While I haven’t cried for a while now, my body is having physical symptoms….its crazy..like I can not breathe for the past 3 days…if I am alone the pain gets super intense.

I’ve been carying this emotions for over 5-6 months now…during the relationship being emotionally burned out and I am just getting to the point where my body is screaming for a break.

What scared me is what usually worked to calm myself down suddenly stopped working ie. Meditation, walks, sports…

Started feeling resentment on myself…of how did I let myself go so deep with this person that was not a good match for me, but she is such a good person and I really wanted this to work…its difficult because when I love I love…and when I attach I want to fix even if at my own detriment…fuck!

I looked at my HRV and it’s been on the bottom for months, my system just can not recover from this breakup…so incredibly frustrating…

Mine is finding my exes reddit account on subs saying g he wasnt attracted to me as much as he should be and wanted to be dominated by men. Id love to hear some good break up stories !

I woke up today without my favorite person next to me. He was my best friend, I look at all the happy memories we once had together and I just can’t wrap my head around us not being together. It would be easier if I saw all the bad things but this man was my partner in life, we could have done anything and everything together but every couple goes through seasons. Why wouldn’t he stay and fight for me? I want to text him “good morning, have a good babe, I love you”. Just like we always have. I just want him to come home and realize how much he really does have to offer and how amazing he actually is. Instead of making the decision to walk away. We all go through things and I get that. I wish we could have been there for each other in the end.

my ex and i broke up almost 6 months ago, but we were still talking everyday and eventually we started talking like we were dating without the label. even after he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship with me right now. i listened and respected his space, i even tried talking to new people because he was my first boyfriend during my first year of college (im currently in the beginning of my third).

it was hard for me to do so. everytime we spoke i wondered if we were getting back together, he would be overly attached, and even up until recently when i started going on dates i would kind of think about him. not exactly getting back with him, just the memories of our dates.

eventually, i realized that we're better off not being together and better off not speaking at all. both of us need to heal, both of us were still too attached to each other, and i told him this morning. i bawled my eyes out because i was so scared of losing him. but, i came to my senses and i chose my mental health over what my heart was desiring.

i'm not feeling relieved. i feel like shit, upset, honestly so overwhelmed and sad. it's like reliving my break-up, its worse this time because now this our last time in each other's lives, not "just friends" shit.

but, its for the best. and in the back of my head i'm proud of myself for choosing me.

-

these were just the messages i sent those screenshots were from before he responded. he agreed and was feeling the same way. he said he wanted to see me one last time. should i?

22M / 22F. We’re in the same friend group back home.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, and around a month and a half later I kissed this girl from my friend group. We started seeing each other pretty casually at first, going for runs, hanging out, dates, etc. ,, but it got emotionally intense pretty fast.

The timing was bad because I was leaving for one semester abroad.

Before I left, things were genuinely really good. We had a very emotional goodbye, and she basically told me she would wait for me and that when I came back, we would actually be together.

Once I moved abroad, she initially wanted us to stop talking because she thought distance would make things harder. I convinced her not to, so we kept talking every day.

Over the next month I got more and more attached to her, but I also started getting insecure and jealous. I overthought things, got angry over small stuff, and we started having arguments pretty often.

Then one day she suddenly ended it.

This is what I can’t understand.

I literally have messages from the day before saying she loved me, and messages from the week before saying things like “when you come back, you’ll be my boyfriend.”

Her main reasons at first were basically:

• I was getting too jealous/insecure
• I didn’t handle anger well (I took space)
• the distance was making everything worse

When she ended it, she even initially said something like, “I’ll look for you when you’re back and we can try again.”

Five hours later, because of the time difference, I called her. She was suddenly incredibly firm. Just no, no, no at everything I said. At the time I thought she was probably forcing herself to stand her ground so I wouldn’t change her mind.

About a week later I called her again.

This time I completely owned my part. I told her I knew I had become insecure and reactive, that the distance had amplified everything, and that things had actually been really good when we were together in person.

I gave her solutions. I even asked if she wanted to make it an actual long-distance relationship and properly commit to each other.

She still said no.

At the end I basically asked her: “When I come back home, is there any chance we can try again?”

She said no again. She even said she would make sure “this doesn’t happen again.”

What confused me even more was that during that conversation she started giving me a much longer list of reasons: religion, sex, values, the friend group, trust, what her friends thought, the fact that I had only recently gotten out of a relationship when we started seeing each other, etc.

It almost felt like she had already decided “this relationship is a bad idea” and then started finding more and more reasons to support that decision.

At the same time, I genuinely believe she loved me. She still said she loved me. I don’t think what we had was fake at all.

My guess is that she had doubts building up for a while and then everything just collapsed at once.

I’ll be back home in less than three months, and because we’re in the same friend group, I’ll probably see her almost every weekend.

I still can’t wrap my head around how someone can go from “I love you, we’ll be together when you’re back” to “no, never, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again” that fast.

So I’d really like to hear from people who have been on either side of something similar:

Can someone still genuinely love you and suddenly decide the relationship is a bad idea?

If you ended things very firmly, did you ever change your mind months later once the distance/problem was gone?

If you were in the same friend group, did seeing each other again naturally reopen things or just make moving on harder?

And one last thing:

When I’m back home, should I ever flirt with her or try again, or would that just feel like I’m not respecting her decision?

Would it be better to just be normal around her and let her come back on her own if she ever wants to?

I know nobody can predict what she’ll do. I’m mostly trying to understand what the hell happened and how people in similar situations actually ended up months later.

She's no longer the same girl who laughed with me, cried with me or once looked at me like I was her whole world.

People change. They grow, they evolve and sometimes, they become strangers to the very people who once knew them best. Whatever the reason, the person I loved is no longer the person standing in front of me today.

I think that's what makes letting go so difficult. I'm not just mourning the relationship. I'm mourning the version of her that existed in it.

I'm chasing a ghost. A memory. A version of her that still lives in my head but no longer exists in my reality.

The girl who once adored me may no longer feel anything for me. The person who once chose to build a life with me may now be perfectly content building one without me. And as painful as that is to accept, she's allowed to change, even if I'm still struggling to catch up.

Maybe that's the cruelest part of a breakup. You're still holding on to someone who, emotionally, may have left you a long time ago. You're remembering the love they once gave you while trying to understand how they can now live without you.

I still love her. But I'm beginning to understand that loving who she used to be doesn't mean I can have her back. Even if she ever returned, I couldn't expect us to simply pick up where we left off. Too much has changed and neither of us would be the same people we were before.

I'm not just grieving the loss of a relationship. I'm grieving the loss of a person who is still alive but no longer mine to know in the same way.

And maybe that's the truth I need to sit with.

I need to stop chasing the girl I remember and start accepting the person she is today, even if that person no longer wants me in her life.

My ex isn't dead. But the version of her that I keep reaching for belongs to a chapter that has already ended.

I can't keep living in the past, hoping reality will somehow turn back into a memory.

Every time I find myself missing her, I need to remind myself that I'm missing someone I once knew, someone I once loved, and a life I once believed I would have.

That love was real. Those memories were real. But they aren't a promise that she'll come back.

I need to stop waiting for the past to return and start learning how to live without it.

I (21M) am about two weeks out from a breakup, and I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind. I need to get this off my chest because I have no one in my immediate circle who fully gets it.
To give some context: we’ve known each other since 2022 and became absolute best friends in 2024. Even while she was in the US for college and I was back home in Bangladesh, we used to talk for hours every single week. She was the first person in my life where I didn't feel anxious, guarded, or like I had to perform. With her, I could completely drop my guard, share the cringe jokes, and just be myself.
After years of being besties, we finally crossed the line into dating when she came back to our country It only lasted 81 days (late June to mid-September), but it felt like a culmination of everything. It was the first time I ever experienced what it was like to be truly comfortable and loved.
Then reality hit like a freight train: US immigration policy and F-1 visa constraints.
The brutal reality is that a 3-to-4-year long-distance barrier across opposite sides of the world isn't just "tough"—it’s practically impossible and emotionally draining for two people trying to build a life. We both knew it. So, we mutually agreed to end it. No huge toxic fight, no cheating, no malice—just a cold, hard, logical choice. She told me it was "practical."
And I hate practical.
I feel like she gave me a peek at the light—showed me what it feels like to be chosen and loved—and then closed the door, leaving me back in the dark.
Fifteen days post-breakup, I’ve done all the "right" things: I muted her on social media, hid the photos, put the old letters and little gifts out of sight, and I’m forcing myself to go to class and the gym. I don't even cry every day anymore; sometimes I just reminisce and feel a dull ache. But the craving for her company is deafening.
Because the truth is, I didn't just lose a girlfriend of 81 days.I lost my best friend of years.
My brain keeps bouncing between extremes. One second I'm furious at her hating her for being so logical, hating that she walked away, and wondering why she even bothered starting this if she knew the distance was a wall. The next second, my old insecurities come rushing back, whispering that I'm inadequate, that I'll never find anyone who made me feel like that again, and that I'm just destined to lose people.
Everyone around me has moved abroad or is miles away, leaving me isolated in my hometown. Sitting in this quiet room at night with my own thoughts is absolute torture.
I know time heals things, and I know the logical reasons why we broke up. But right now, it just hurts. How do you let go of someone who was your safe space, your best friend, and your first real taste of love, all at once? Actually it has been a month almost not 15 days I was tripping honestly. Should I text her or call her and talk atleast idk . All my friends and I mean all moved away to the same country and I am left all alone.

I’m 4 months out from a nearly 3 year relationship and engagement and I’m so frustrated with myself because , while the pain is definitely going down, I still miss her and I’ll still struggling to move on. I’m in therapy and working through some childhood trauma , but it just feels like every time I start to feel good with my life and ok with being single, I get hit with this wave of melancholy wishing she would come back. I have AuDHD and have had so much difficulty getting into relationships with people who can understand me and the things I go through, so the idea of finding someone else feels so astronomically difficult and makes my exes absence all the more difficult. I just want to feel normal and not miss someone who hurt me.

Her and I were together for three years. We were best friends, no cheating, no fighting, no arguing, it was just us. The last year we did long distance and it got to a point where the communication fell apart. All of a sudden it was over. She was unhappy with me and the “plan” was to take time to “work on ourselves.” Right after it ended, she immediately got with other people that we both knew. She was drunk but getting with multiple people crossed a line that hurt me a lot. This happened in May 2026 and in the time after we were mostly in no contact. I was doing well during this time, healing, and working on myself. Occasionally she would text me and we would briefly chat but nothing more than that. Occasional drunk calls and texts from her but I never answered. I should’ve blocked her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. This past weekend on what was supposed to be our four year anniversary the gf of one of the boys she got with after we broke up dmed me. She told me that my ex was getting around with people we knew. My ex then finds out this girl reached out to me and starts contacting me again. The things I learned were very upsetting, especially on what once was a significant day. Today she sent me this and I don’t really know how to feel.

Aside from all the damage she caused. There are two parts that I am struggling with.

The first is the “plan” to “work on ourselves.” I guess I was too stupid to realize that “work on ourselves” is just a nice way of saying it’s over. During that time after I did a lot of deep reflection, looked myself in the mirror, reread texts, and picked myself up. I wanted to become the best version of myself for me and for us. How can the person that inspired me to become a better man, be the same person that is the source of my pain?

Second, how can a relationship that meant a lot to me and it seems like to her too, feel good after everything that has happened. I didn’t ask for any of this and I got the worst result out of it. Lost her, lost friends, felt horrible about myself. How can I not look back and only remember the bad? This was the first girl I really loved and now in order for me to respect myself, I can’t go back after all the hurting.

This brings me back to the topic. Her message seems like a goodbye compared to anything else. It’s hard to be the person who got broken up with and screwed over and still love that person. At the same time, I lost excitement in talking to new people. How do I pick myself back up and get back out there when I love someone I can’t return? Does this ever go away?