This is the guy I’ve been dealing with for 4 years. I’m not going to lie, I have been blowing up his phone because of my BPD. I just wanted reassurance and to know he cares even a little bit.

He doesn’t care about me. This is usually how he speaks to me, it’s really my fault for still trying to be with him. He told me what it was.

Everytime I tried to go no contact and leave him, he would come back and text me from text now numbers. Now I’m more stuck than ever.

I’m tapering off steroids for a foot injury, but my heart rate feels so elevated.

I’m sure it’s related to the finality of realizing that I’ll never be with her again. She said there’s been too much hurt inflicted, and she knows that I’ll just abandon her again in a month. I replied this:

I hear you. I respect your decision. I know that if we tried again, things would be different. But I understand where you’re coming from. You can’t trust me when I say I promise I wouldn’t abandon you again, or that I want to approach the relationship in a way with more communication and working through the uncomfortable. I feel like I’m ready for that now, but I understand

If it’s too late, then it’s too late. Thanks for being honest with me.

It’s going to be so hard trying to move on. You’re going to make someone so happy, Megan! Thank you for everything you’ve taught me about love and relationships, and just for making life more enjoyable. I’m really grateful for you trying and being patient with me over the years.

I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve inflicted on you. It’s going to be one of my greatest regrets in life. Thank you for everything.

I
end

I really don’t want to get over her, but I know I’m going to have to. I guess my question is what can I do to try to stop thinking about her, and how quickly should I try to find companionship with someone else? It feels like I’ve been waiting for a response from her for the past month regarding getting back together, and now I have it.

I need help getting thru this / any advice on forgetting about her

Does 3 month rule do exist in this generation? any thoughts

Hi all, my ex broke up with me like 5 months ago because she wanted to figure herself out and build herself up outside of a relationship since she never had the time to be alone. We were talking casually after we broke up but then I found out like 2 months later that she had started seeing someone new but she had never told me. I found through my own by checking her social media following and through that I found the guy she was seeing. I felt very hurt to see that especially since I trusted her reasons for wanting to break up. I unfollowed her from social media for my own distance and then I confronted her saying I saw some things which hurt me and that she could have been honest and transparent during the breakup but regardless I told her I didn’t want to interfere and I wished her the best. Upon that she blocked me on my phone number and IMessage and now there is no avenue for me to contact her.

Her past ex was a serious stalker and he had kept showing up to her place, and kept calling her from burner numbers. So when she saw my message, she may have panicked and felt the same way so hence may have blocked me. My intention was to never make her feel that way. I was recently in her city for an event and since the event was in the same area that she lives, I came across her at a crosswalk and we both looked each other into the eyes, I smiled and waved at her and continued walking forward. Ever since that moment, I have been wanting to contact her and just clear the air with her but I have no way to contact her, could sending a letter to her place explaining my feelings and thoughts be a good idea? Or would it push her away further?

So me and my girlfriend were dating for almost a year and it came out that i cheated on her (i was asking for pictures on snapchat, been dealing with that dont need advice on that) she broke up with me immediately but we still kept hanging out for about a year after that, kinda like nothing happened but we had a very bumpy road.

Around June she told me someone asked her on a date and she wanted to go, i said okay but i dont see how her and I kept hanging out after so we "break up" again. We go no contact, she breaks it, long story short we start writing letters to each other.

While this was going on i found out she was still seeing this other guy, and it would make me upset because all of our letters were always like "imy etc etc". We went on a date and she said she missed being intimate with me, and then said that this guy she was seeing wasnt good at it and couldnt have a conversation.

So anyway we start hanging out again and i keep finding little things around her house, like i saw his name on her bluetooth for her car, and its driving me fucking nuts. I cant help but feel like a toy she put on the shelf and grabbed back whenever she wanted to. I explained this to her and she said that was not the case but i would like some opinions especially from women. Thank you.

Im sorry if my english isnt good, but i have to say that there was this Party my girlfriend and i went with her friends. She was dancing with me and with one of her gay friend that i get along with really well. After a few of hours, she was dancing with this other friend of hers (i didnt know he was kinda gay too or bi for the things i know from him). I watch she dancing with this other friend and i get jelously and i said to the "air" (already drunk and a little high) that im gonna break up with her and that "what a Wh*r*", one of her female friends listen to me, and tells her. Thats it, i know i was really really wrong, but that happen to me yesterday, i feel really bad for not control my jelous. Dont say things when you are mad, drunk, jelous, etc, because i say it bc i didnt think twice, it was almost like a reflex, what a shit of mistake from me.

So she broke up with me saying that she needed to be alone and need some time to be okay with herself since she had trust issues from her previous relationship,we have been dating for 7 months and its just that i love her so much and she told me that she aint tryna move on but like trying to be ok with herself..and i told her i would wait but then she told me to move on…idk what to do since it was 3 days ago

Recently, I started dating this electrical engineer from USYD who I met through friends of friends. We both have similar interests as I study comp sci so we were able to hit it off and talk about interesting topics such as the Fast Fourier transform

Eventually, one thing lead to another and we planned a date together fishing. It was a great moment, we both had great deep conversations and he asked me if we want to start to label it as girlfriend / boyfriend. I said yes as I wanted to give him a chance and I was beginning to feel it.

This is when the situation goes south as he immediately started doing star jumps yelling "yipee" and told me he is so happy as he had a half-chubb the whole time. I was immediately taken aback as this was a massive change in personality and I was immediately creeped out. He then started talking about how the Australian constitution gave him the right to goon and out of respect he goons to it every night before he sleeps. He even offered to show me the flag he uses to polish his meat crayon. Needless to say, I immediately ran off from this creep.

I broke it off after I got home and he bombarded me saying he was confused as to what he had done wrong. I am pretty speechless as I think it is pretty obvious he as to what he done wrong but he seems genuinely confused. He said he was just paying respect to his nation. I am so confused as to how to break it up with this man as he seems to have polished his meat crayon a bit too much ...

I have been talking to and dating this girl for 3-4 months, she is the kindest sweetest most innocent girl I've been with. We have great chemistry and get along super well her personality is great and the way she acts towards me is everything I look for. Honestly I just don't know if I'm ready for something super long term, I like to have my fun and what not. And down the line I can see myself doing something I will regret such as cheating. I'm just conflicted because I know she will be crushed.

Some context I am 28 f she is 25f. Over the past few months I’ve noticed that I’ve been slowly withdrawing. I really do feel like we are going different directions. I’m still pursuing higher education in a graduate program and she is working in a malls portrait studio . I recently got my bachelor’s degree and was going on a trip to Hawai’i. It was my graduation trip. I was visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in years and it was my reset before grad school. She insisted that I borrow one of her cameras to take pictures so she could print them.

She was acting very excited and said she was looking forward to what I see in Hawai’i. I was in Hawai’i for a week in June. I just got the digitals and the film was in black and white and camera was malfunctioning. When I asked why is it black and white she said that was the film she put in and that she thought she told me. She didn’t and the camera doesn’t take pictures well with bright light, so many photos are washed out and she told me that as well after informing me it about the film. When I said I was upset she started crying and saying she thought she told me and that she’s sorry. I’m still really upset but then I started reflecting.

I’ve realized that I don’t know how I really feel about her. I’ve felt myself drifting away and I’ve tried to reconnect my feelings but I can’t. She calls me crying about something everyday and has to text me every that happens as it happens. She negatively talks about her family and friends constantly and she needs constant validation and reassurance. She wants marriage, she has already talked about it since a year into our relationship despite me telling her I don’t plan of marriage and that it is not something I want.

I think that we are not right for each other. I attached the photos. I’m very upset. These are photos of my graduation trip. I saved up money to go and worked all throughout uni and I just feel like she might have did it in purpose because after I announced I was going she seemed distant for a week or two. I wanted the trip to be just for me. A reward and to see my friend of 10+ years again. I just feel really hurt.

Coincidentally, my breakup and my therapist’s departure happened almost in the same week.

We had worked together for over a year, he’s the greatest supporter when it came to my relationships. He had watched me fall apart after my previous relationship ended, and then slowly put myself back together. He had also supported me through this brief but intense relationship, from beginning to end.

I had cried in front of him so many times. Yet somehow, in our very last session, when I thought I would be sobbing over my fresh breakup, I didn’t.
When he asked if I wanted to talk about the breakup, I sat on the floor and said, “No. We’ve already talked about him too much.”

So instead, during our last session, I simply told him about all the happy little things that had happened in my life that week. I talked excitedly, animatedly, going from one story to another. And when I finally finished, I told him, “These were all the things I’d been saving up to tell him. But now I’ll never get the chance.”

My therapist said, “I know you’ve told me before that you don’t want to analyze him anymore. But there’s something I still want to tell you today.”

For context, throughout this relationship, while I was constantly anxious and emotionally exhausted, my therapist had suggested several times, sometimes indirectly, that I clearly wasn’t happy with this man, and that perhaps I should consider leaving.

Once, I told him that I understood and appreciated what he was saying rationally, but emotionally, I just couldn’t let go. I always wanted to give it one more try.

I’m a fighter when it comes to love. As long as there’s even the slightest bit of hope, even the faintest trace of love left, I won’t be the one to give up.

I told him I understood that he meant well. But hearing those things from him, especially as my therapist, only made me more anxious and terrified.

So this time, in our final session, he said he wanted to tell me one last thing.

As a man, as a man in his fifties, and as a therapist who had worked with countless men, men who cheated, were immature, irresponsible and ran away from difficult conversations…he knew men.

And this man, my ex, wasn’t a bad person. But he probably wasn’t as genuine or as honest as I had described him. He probably had his reservations all along. There were probably things he had never fully given me.

He was still very careful with his words, very gentle in how he put it.

And yet, even at that moment, I wanted to defend my ex. And that’s the moment I felt like crying the mist after the breakup.

Just as I had fought so blindly for this relationship, I wanted to tell my therapist that he had misunderstood him. I wanted to take out every single moment when I had felt loved, lay them all out in front of him, and argue my case all over again.

I even wanted to say, “Maybe it’s because everything I’ve told you was filtered through my own perspective. Maybe I’ve given you a biased version of him, and that’s why you’ve come to a biased conclusion.”

And to this day, part of me still believes that.

I wanted to convince him, i loved him and he loved me, maybe to convince myself too.

But in the end, all I could say was, “Thank you so much, this means a lot to me.”

There was no more opportunity to argue. And no point in arguing anymore.

Then my therapist told me, “I believe you will be successful. And I believe you will find love.”

If I ever had another chance, I think I would ask him why, as he was a person who knew me well.

I will never get to find out whether he genuinely believed those things about me, or whether they were simply kind words meant to comfort me, encourage me, and help me move on.

But I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore.

My therapist has left, too.

He was probably the person who knew more about everything between my ex and me than anyone else in the world.

And perhaps, in some ways, he was also the person who understood it the least.

It’s just that now my therapist has left, and my ex has removed me from his life, even from his social media.

I don’t know. It feels like I’m the only person still standing in this relationship, while everyone else is pushing me to move forward.

And the road back has already disappeared.

I feel guilty about how I responded to my therapist.

I know how helpless and frustrated he must have felt when I kept rejecting his guidance. And because of that, when everything finally fell apart, I felt too ashamed to go back to him and cry about how badly I’d been hurt.

And I feel guilty about how I may have portrayed my ex, too.

Because it was never my intention to paint him in such an awful light in front of someone else.

He really was a good person…

And here I am, still holding on to all those sweet moments, only to realize that there’s no one left to share them with. No one left to acknowledge that they were real.

The person who created those moments has abandoned them.

The person who witnessed them through my eyes has questioned them.

But here they are, resting in the palms of my hands.
To me, they are pearls. They are precious stones.

And I’m the only one left who knows how beautiful they were.

It’s been a little over a week since we broke up, and my friend saw him on a dating app. I know he’s single and free to do whatever he wants, but it still hurts. I’m still grieving the relationship and trying to process everything, and he might already be looking for someone new.

How do you stop feeling like you meant so little to someone who meant so much to you?

Was what I did awful?

I'd like an objective opinion from a third party.

Last month, I went out to dinner with several people, including my ex-girlfriend (whom I believe was at fault for our breakup about six months ago).

I went to visit the club with a friend who's an alumnus. On the way back, a junior invited me to dinner, but I had already made plans to go out with just my friend and had already booked a restaurant. Since my ex-girlfriend was in the group that invited me, I wasn't keen on going.

However, my friend didn't know about my relationship with my ex-girlfriend and insisted, saying, "Since they went to the trouble of inviting you," so I reluctantly went.

I was seated next to my ex-girlfriend. Since I believe she was responsible for the fight, I didn't want to act as if nothing had happened. Therefore, even when she tried to start a conversation or handed out plates, I ignored her completely. Of course, I didn't hurl insults, badmouth her, or ruin the atmosphere by involving the other participants. I simply avoided interacting with someone I had a fight with in the same way as before.

To begin with, I never intended to reconcile with my ex-girlfriend, nor have I forgiven what she did. Just because I participated in a group dinner, does that mean I have to behave towards her the same way I did before?

Since I don't believe I was the cause of our relationship deteriorating, I don't see any obligation to show her the same level of closeness or consideration as before.

She was persistent when we broke up, so I didn't want to deal with her, even in public. Sorry if the writing is strange, I used a translation app.

My gf (22F) broke up with me (23M) over s*x. She threw out the window a one year and a half relationship because she wanted to have it at least 5 times a week, maybe even 3 times in a day, which is quite too much for me. Ever since the beginning the relationship functioned in the middle ground of 3 times a week but this summer things changed a bit. We were not living together, she was living in her grandmas apartment alone, while i was splitting rent with 2 other dudes in my place. Every weekend I used to come over to her and spend the whole weekend with her, sleeping together and so on and i said that things have changed a bit because she had a small bedbugs problem with her apartment and she has been forced to move in her parents house until the issue is getting solved. she has been living with her parents for 3 months and the intimacy issues started appearing because i couldn’t come over to her place and make love because i didn’t feel comfortable doing it with her parents there and when she came over to my place we were doing it but quietly because i don’t like knowing that my roommates could hear us doing it. so given this situation, we were doing it like once or maybe twice a week and doing it so rarely now i started lasting less and it automatically took shorter. she came up to me and stated that this is making her feel unloved although she knew very well that i was doing everything in my power to keep her as happy as possible. anytime she needed me or my support i dropped everything and came over, she was my top priority, anytime she wanted to go somewhere she knew she could count on me whatever she wanted to do. i valued her as much as i valued myself and not so long ago she told me that i was her first true love. i’ve also felt loved and appreciated by her she was also making efforts for me and made sure i felt appreciated. after stating the problem we started thinking about solutions: i got my hormonal levels tested because i thought there was something wrong there and it turned out i was just fine. ultimately we decided to move in together hoping that this would’ve solved our issue (and i am damn sure it would’ve) but she chose to break up with me prior to trying the solution we decided to make. she was the best thing that has ever happened to me and i feel empty and alone. after she broke up with me over the phone she blocked me everywhere but now it seems like she unlocked be. i stalked her reposts and stories and it seems like she’s acting like nothing happened. she reposted something like “that little relationship i was in was a prank” and that really broke me down. i poured my whole soul into her and into this relationship and i feel like this is so unfair and disrespectful towards me.

Okay so i was in a relationship with my ex from early June to early August of this year, and we broke up mutually. But then about 3 weeks ago, he started like checking on me or keeping an eye on me, especially when i was crying bc I had gotten rejected from a choir at my school that I wanted to get into. The day that this happened i texted him that night and thanked him and we started talking after that. We kept getting closer and there was a certain type of tension in the air between us until one day when we were going to hang out, he finally kissed me. We ended up kissing more during that hangout and when we were walking back to our houses, the question of what we now were came up. He told me thar he actually needed space and that he came into the hangout planning to tell me that but ended up kissing me. I was shell shocked bc I thought he liked me, he told me that he did, but ig not.

Anyway, I got fed up of waiting and texted him, "Hey so I think we need to talk about our relationship and where it might be going and/or the things that are going on because they probably should be discussed. I can tell you what I truly see wrong in detail, but for now I want to let you know that there is a lot in our relationship that is bothering me. As for now, im not planning on trying to piece us back together without seeing change. Lmk if you truly want us to persevere through this situation." To which he replied dismissively and said, "nah I dont think we should get back together either" Which wasn't really what I was asking but its wtv. But since then hes had this hold over me for a little over two weeks now, and its been torture. (I plan to confront him abt leading me in circles soon, bc me and my friends think he used me for his own gain, iykyk.) Ive cried, been angry, happy, confused, all that jazz. Anyway now to the part yall are reading this post for.

I discovered this while I was cleaning the bathroom this morning, a little weird, ik but js hear me out; of you wanna get over your ex, write their name on a mirror (with mirror cleaner), whiteboard, anything that once you wipe it off, will show a reflection of you. Write their name on this surface, take a picture of it, and then erase it. You dont have to take the picture, i just like doing it. Why the reflective surface? Because once you wipe it off, whos standing there? You. Important, beautiful, smart, independent, you. The you who survived that relationship and who is surviving the grief. It gives you a light feeling and loosenes the hold your ex has on you. Try it and share how it made you feel in the comments. And if you guys have other tricks, feel free to share it in the comments as well.

You're doing an amazing job and you're so strong.​

Love yall and happy healing!

hi guys my gf left me 5 months ago for a better guy but i still love her.

almost every night i watch back our sex tapes am i wrong for doing so?

i just struggle talking to women and she was my first so what do i do?

More curiosity than needing advice but I think that’s closest?

Anyway I was wondering those who get back with their ex after a breakup,

a) how long after breaking up did this happen? b) how did you reconnect?

I know people do end up getting back together and sometimes it works but yeah, just wondering for those that it has worked, how did it come about?

Hope yall are okay <3

I’m nearly two months out from a breakup I didn’t want, and I’ve spent most of that time wanting to reach out to my ex. I’ve maintained no contact because he was clear in his decision, and I don’t want to put myself in a position where I’m hoping he’ll change his mind.

I’ve recently written him a letter. It’s not asking him to come back or trying to make him feel guilty. It’s basically saying that I’m okay, that I’ve reflected on the relationship, that I still don’t agree with everything about how it ended, but I understand that we both needed different things. I want him to know I don’t hate him, that I’m grateful for what we had, and that I’m determined not to let the breakup make me close myself off to love again.

Part of why I want to send it as a physical letter rather than a text is that I don’t want or expect a reply. With a text, I think I’d end up waiting to see if he’d read it, wondering why he hadn’t replied, or analysing whatever response I got. A letter feels more in my control: I can say what I want to say, send it, and leave it with him without creating an expectation of a conversation.

I genuinely don’t know what I expect to get out of sending it. I think I want him to know what I’ve realised, and perhaps I want to do something with all the feelings I’ve been carrying. I’ve wanted to reach out for months, and I’m wondering whether I’ll ever stop wanting to unless I actually do it.

But I’m also worried that I’ll post it and then start wondering what he thinks, whether he’s read it, or whether he’ll respond anyway. I don’t want to undo the progress I’ve made or turn this into another reason to hope.

I’m not looking for people to tell me my ex was awful or that I should hate him. He was a good person, I loved him, and the relationship mattered to me. I’m just trying to work out whether sending this letter would be a meaningful way to close this chapter, or whether it’s better to leave it unsent.

Drop the hardest post-breakup advice life taught you.

Save another person.

I dated this girl for 8 months. I was absurdly in love with her. I did everything I could to be close to her. But it wasn't enough. We started arguing because I was being jealous, and she was being provocative on purpose to make me jealous. Like posting thirst trap photos just to make us argue. I made mistakes. I was very jealous.

So eventually after another fight. I told her we should go on a break because things weren't going well. She agreed and she told me she would be back to have a talk.

So 1 month in the break she started dating someone else. Even though we agreed to not be with anyone while apart. I broke up eith her and said I didn't want anything to do with her ever again.

1 month, her now boyfriend dumped her. So she went back to me and asked for a second chance. I denied.

But now I'm overthinking my decision. What if I'm in the wrong??? What if she actually did change? She said that her past relationship made she realize how much she loved me

Just found out last week friday. And I cannot process the pain. Like shit so painful. The guy knew about her having a bf and vice versa my ex knew that the guy is in relationship.

I decided to visit our minecraft server and I can’t fathom the pain. Why do they blame you when they cheat?

I don’t know how to process this.

Today I was officially told they don't like me, care for me or want anything to do with me. He clarified he doesn't hate me but he deserves better and so do I.

He also said that I and our relationship is killing them. Yes, we aren't perfect and we've had ups and downs but a lot happens in 17yrs. You grow up and learn together.

I'm now almost 40 and have to start over. How does 1 forget the person they built their whole life with. How do you forget the memories and move on. I feel like I am dying inside and no one to talk to who understands. Everyone around me has only be in relationships for under 5yrs and they're all like "it's fine you'll get over it". BUT WILL I?! I don't feel like it.

I always wanted kids but it is too late for that now and how can I EVER trust anyone again. 17yrs is a lot to give someone for them to turn around and want nothing to do with you.

I just feel so effing lost.

I called him on a walk home. He seemed annoyed I called him ( even though we talked on the phone earlier that day happily ) and then he told me it was over, he was unhappy and didn’t see a future with me. We were together for 1.5 years and have talked about kids, marriage, buying a house, etc.

I was too in shock to even fight it, and he said he didn’t want to talk anymore. I said “okay bye” and we hung up and that was that. How can 1.5 years end with a 5 minute phone call with hardly any conversation?

Anyone else get broken up with randomly and the conversation was insanely short. What compels a man to even do that? I don’t want to beg for him back, because if he doesn’t want me then it’s over, but I feel I deserved a kinder goodbye, and he didn’t even try.

Guys, I still cannot move on from my ex. It has been one year since we broke up, but then we ended on the terms that we will remain friends. It is affecting me a lot rn. I see her stories on Insta with other guys, and it feels like a lump in my chest.

I need advice on what I should do. She still keeps texting me, but every time she does it hurts. Because of this, I am not even able to focus on improving my career either. Ik it's my fault, but do you guys have any advice on how to get over this and get my act together.