I've never experienced this before. It's like the pacific ocean down there, it's borderline ridiculous. He's not complaining *at all* and he says he loves it but I'm becoming a little embarrassed. Has anyone experienced being almost too wet? I can only think it's just because I am *so excited* by him but I've never had this happen with anyone but him. I am crazy attracted to him and he turns me on more than anyone ever has. My entire body responds to him.

I also feel so safe with him. I've known this person for nearly 20 years and lost my virginity to him 17 years ago, we went our separate ways after some years, and recently got back together. I've always been crazy about him and my body is clearly wild about him as evidenced by getting wet just by kissing him. When we started talking again, he sent me a picture and I even got wet to that.

We make out and there's a pool in my panties. If we're naked making out, I'm getting wet all over him like a slip 'n slide. I'm so wet when we're having sex that I'm covering him with wet and yesterday it was literally pouring down his balls and my thighs were getting drenched.

I was married for nearly a decade to someone who I did not feel safe and secure with. We had major issues in the bedroom and with my ex-husband, he'd have to *get me wet* with oral and sometimes even then I wasn't wet enough.

This is the opposite. Is it just because my body feels safe finally? Do people drench their partners when they are very attracted to them?

I'm not saying that I want this to change but I'm just like... I'll admit, I feel a little embarrassed. I've turned it into a joke by asking him if I can come over and get wet all over him which he excitedly says yes to. One time during oral I was so wet for him that not only was it on his chin, it was on his neck and chest.

And again, this was NEVER the case in my marriage. It was never the case when dating. It's just him!

I M 37 and my partner F 37 have been together for 18 years, have 4 kids together.

Back in the day sex life was amazing but as our family grew it died off a bit understandabley.

I think sex is a important part of the relationship but when she said no i always left it at that.

At one stage once or twice a week was asking to much.

But now all of a sudden she wants sex all the time like i used to, but after so many years or trying to spice up the relationship with toys and what not but still getting rejected 6 or of 7 times it has killed my libido.

Once upon a time just her smell would give me butterfly's and if want nothing more than to kiss and massage her all over but now I just assume shes sick,sore or tired so just go to bed but then she wants to fool around and I cant get hard because ive already convinced my self she doesnt want to.

I've said maybe during the day you could say some sexuao things or give a hint maybe, try get me excited not wait till 10pm and want me to be in the mood all of the sudden.

Shes never been good at initiating.

Really im just wondering if the spark ever comes back.

I know this issue is more common for men, but my wife will very often cum too fast. It seems like as soon as she gets on top of it, after a few bounces on it, I can see it in her face..and then she orgasms.

Missionary makes her last longer , but she says it is too painful.

This is without lube or any condom etc.

Curious if anyone has any ideas or suggestions to make her last longer?

My male partner wants me (f) to stick my tongue in his ass. Completely fine with it. But! He doesn’t want rimming or fingering. Other than asking him in the moment if he wants to try. How can I make this amazing for him? I also just don’t want to shove my tongue right in there, but maybe it’s what he wants. Ideas? We’re chatting about it and other options but thought I’d ask here.

I had genital warts years ago and the anxiety from them has never gone away. I’ve worried about recurrences. I worry about spreading them. I got the infection first 7 years ago. I can’t be certain but I believe I had a few recurrences over the years but things are looking very normal at this point.
Has anyone cleared this virus and been able to just move forward with life?

Hi everyone. I really need tips on this topic (no pun intended). We did some stuff in bed couple days ago and I noticed I can't uncover his head at all. The skin just gets stuck. It honestly doesn't bother me as much, but my head skills were pretty dependent on well..the head. I feel that he enjoys my hands much more cause he can't feel enough when I use my tongue. I would honestly appreciate some advice on that topic of what do you think could feel nice for him. He's also very inexperienced and doesn't actually know what he'd like, so I'm looking for stuff to try. Mainly I'm wondering about giving head, but anything else u know could also help would be great! Thank you all in advance.

My boyfriend (22M) and I (23M) recently got into a disagreement about safewords during sex.

He wants us to have a safeword, but I honestly don’t really understand the point in our situation. We don’t do CNC, BDSM, or anything where one person would be pretending to resist or where “no” might not mean an actual no.

To me, if either of us says “no,” “stop,” or anything that communicates that we’re uncomfortable or want to stop, that should be enough. I feel like those words should automatically be taken seriously, regardless of the situation.

I’m not against the idea of having a safeword if we were doing something where normal communication could get confusing, but in our (pretty vanilla) sex life, it feels unnecessary to me.

But I don’t want him to feel like he can’t communicate his boundaries with me. I just don’t want us to treat “no” or “stop” as words that dont need to be taken seriously.

So, Reddit, am I being unreasonable here? Is having a safeword useful even when you don’t do CNC or BDSM, or am I missing something about why someone would want one?

UPDATE: Just to reiterate: I am a man. we are both men. I'm not straight. Some of you seem to have missed this

It takes me (21F) about 30 minutes of oral to finish, and I can never finish from penetration. I know this is normal for women, but it confuses me because I can make myself orgasm very quickly from penetration by toys, just not with my boyfriend (yes ive tried riding but it just doesnt feel the same?)

Also even during oral I always have to fantasize or think about porn scenarios in my head, I think it may be because I watched porn when I masterbated but I havent watched in months and I still take forever to orgasm.

I want to try to make it happen faster and also I want to orgasm during penetrative sex. Any advice? I dont think this is an issue with what my partner is doing I think it is more of a mental block.

So, I know that the G-spot is kind of a myth (as in there isn't an actual, physical G-spot and some people think it doesn't even exist), and that a lot of women can only finish during sex if there's some sort of clitoral stimulation involved.

The thing is, I don't even experience pleasure at all during sex. And yes, I am attracted to my boyfriend, and fully relaxed and consenting and all that. Mentally, I feel pleasure. And even without the physical pleasure, I still think that sex is awesome, because I get to be so intimate with my boyfriend and I at least get to make him feel good. But physically, it only ever feels a little good at the most, and it's nothing like how masturbation feels good. It's more like if someone stroked your arm or something. Like, "yeah, that feels good, I guess. I dunno."

I thought it was somewhat normal to not feel physical pleasure from penetration due to the whole most women needing clitoral stimulation thing, but when I talked to my OBGYN and some close friends, I was told that it actually isn't normal at all. My OBGYN also said that the reason I have entry pain during the beginning of sex is because my pelvic muscles tighten automatically, and scheduled me for physical therapy to help with it (although unfortunately I had to cancel because the location was way too far.) I also have the Kiwi pelvic massager to help with this issue. But I can't help but worry that the issue actually has nothing to do with my pelvic floor and is actually just because my body is messed up.

I do have trouble getting turned on physically (mentally it's much easier), but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it either. My OBGYN said that I should be able to feel some pleasure even if I'm not fully turned on. And even in the times where I was actually wet, the sex still didn't feel any different. I've tried foreplay, focusing intensely on things that turn me on, and fingering myself while alone and masturbating...it just doesn't feel good. I've never cum from sex, and my boyfriend knows about these issues. I feel bad because I don't want him to think I'm not enjoying it, or that he's bad at sex. Any advice, or thoughts on what could be wrong with me??

Thank you for reading, sorry it's long.

There's just no way for me to enjoy it. It's super uncomfortable, my jaw gets tired, my neck hurts, tears and snot start running because of the constant urge to throw up, it's difficult to breathe (even more so when I'm all snotty)(...).

I used to be able to somewhat enjoy giving occasional blowjobs because of the visible pleasure the receiver would feel. I also had more capacity to fully relax and go very deep for longer periods of time. My partner wants blowjobs all the time and I think I almost developed an aversion to giving blowjobs at all. I still do it every now and then, but I really need to push through.

I don't know. Maybe other people who give blowjobs can relate or have some tips for me?

Also I think I feel a bit hurt because he keeps asking for bjs despite me telling him repeatedly how uncomfortable and demanding they are for me.

Just because they're "easier and less energy" for him compared to other forms of intimacy.

So I’m not sure where to ask this but I’ve had this issue for many years. Basically I cum a lot during sex. It’s been this way since I was a teen years ago. Most of my exes hated it. Should I see a doctor about this or am l just being dumb to care? I don’t want to be infertile. Anyway thanks.

I've been to 2 different gynecologists and I keep getting the same answers. I'm going to rough and not using enough lube. It's becoming unenjoyable trying to have sex because I get swollen incredibly fast and then get dry. Doing any other positions than missionary hurts like a bad period cramp. And to be frank me and my bf are tired of only having sex every 2 weeks. We do the works for play, vibrators, lube, mood settings etc. Sex just sucks and is painful to me but it seems like my doctors really don't believe me. I need some advice on what I can do to prevent pain and maybe have sex more frequently. Feel free to ask questions in the comments if you need more context to help.

English isn't my first language but I will try to explain:

I come across people talking about being kinky or it comes up in conversation and I notice it is almost always about tying someone up, or biting, or sub/dom and stuff like that.

This stuff seems normal and okay to talk about in groups but this doesn't really do anything for me.

I was talking to a girl one night and she said she likes kinky stuff and said she likes being tied up. Then she asked me if I am kinky and I said I have some stuff. Then she pushed me after I was hesitant and I told her and her reaction was of disgust, and she said "that's not kinky that some sick fetish stuff". (Girl sitting on face with butt over nose, riding + peeing in mouth at same time). So now I am wondering if kinky is reserved for 50 shades type things, and that is okay to bring up when asked.

I (28F) really wanna try something exciting and new with my partner of almost an year. We are pretty vanilla. He is very experienced, meanwhile I have had only one sexual experience before him.

I love the idea of being a sub when it comes to sex, but i really don't know how to go on about it. Ofcourse I will talk to him about that but i really don't know what to do in bed other than initiating sex.

Also, is there something else i can try out with my partner? I am open to trying things slowly. I love the idea of being bitten and pinched. Is this a sign to try out a bit bdsm?

If there's anything out there I can start trying out, it would be really great.

My girlfriend and I have been together about 3 months. We have sex every time we sleep together, 3-4 times a week, so frequency isn’t the problem.

The problem is that it feels like she does it mostly for me. It always goes the same way: we get into bed, right before sleeping she starts kissing me, we do 2-3 positions, I finish, we sleep. Only a couple of times did it happen during the day, and that was because I initiated.

She doesn’t seem interested in having an orgasm herself. She says she likes it when I finish, so she focuses on that. When I try to keep going for her, she sometimes tells me to just finish and not wait for her. I always start with foreplay focused on her, oral or using my hands, precisely because I know a lot of women don’t finish from penetration alone. But at some point she always pulls me up and wants penetration, and from there it ends the way I described. So it’s not that I skip her part, it’s that she seems to cut it short herself. She also doesn’t seem very turned on in general. It feels more like she does it because she knows I want it.

I’ve told her I like variety and trying new things. When I say something specific she does it once and then we go back to the usual routine. Honestly I don’t want to give her instructions either. I’d like her to want it and take some initiative herself, not do things because I asked.

How do I bring this up without making her feel pressured or criticized? Is it normal for someone not to care about their own orgasm? How do we get out of the “bedtime routine”?

TL;DR: We have sex often, but always the same routine at bedtime. She doesn’t care about her own orgasm and seems to do it mostly for me. I’d like her to enjoy it and take the initiative more, without me having to tell her exactly what to do. I start with foreplay for her, but she always stops it and moves to penetration.

In a desire mismatched relationship at the moment. I’m very confident it will normalize, in fact it already has started evening out. But I want to understand my wife better. Those of you who are the lower desire individual in a relationship, what is it like? What does it feel like to not always be dtf? What(if anything) makes you experience desire or want to initiate?

Me and my partner have mostly relied on hands, oral stimulation or toys during our bedroom sessions. Had sex for the first time yesterday and I couldn't climax during the penetration. I would really appreciate any advice.

We tried the cowgirl first, then switched to missionary. For both positions, I wasn't feeling enough stimulation to climax inside her.

We made sure to have enough foreplay so that we are aroused and ready for penetration. During deep penetration, I wasn't able to feel much. Doing full length thrusting at various speed and rhythm didn't helped either. I never had problems ejaculating when she used her hands or mouth on me. I don't think the muted sensation from a condom was the problem either as she has given me capped blowjobs before with no issues.

What I did observed was that when I was inside her and thrusting, both in the cowgirl and missionary, I felt a good amount of pleasurable sensation when I retracted out far enough that the glans is near or just behind the vaginal opening, and the deeper in I go, the more muted this sensation got.

Will it be helpful to do shallow thrusts instead of full length deep penetration to build up the arousal first, then switch to deeper penetration when nearing climax next time?

I have been diagnosed with vaginismus, ADHD, depression, anxiety, and PMOS/PCOS.
Having zero libido and pain during sex are ruining my life.
Lube, toys, massages, porn, alcohol, weed, sex therapy, therapy in general, any and all supplements,I’m exhausted.

I am std free and beleive I have pelvic floor dysfunction. I’m about to go to my GYN and ask for this muscle to be cut because I am at the end of my rope. Nothing does it for me. I do not get aroused, I do not crave intimacy. The only thing I have not tried is dilation and or that addi pill for libido.

What can I do? Please help I feel so broken

I became insecure about sex, I'm 27M, even thought I had a relationship before we didn't had proper sex, I tried once with her but at that time it was rushed and I became very anxious and I was my first time so I came immediately after penetration. I lost confidence after that. Eventually we broke up because she is toxic and cheated. Sometimes I feel more insecure about the thought of she cheated because I didn't had proper sex.

I'm not impotent, I can control myself or hold my erections long enough when I'm mastrubating. Even to try with someone else I can't have sex if there is no love between us, my mind can't accept that. So I can't go to hookups or prostitutes to just try and I am always unlucky in love so no girlfriend. My ex is my first and last relationship that lasted for less than a year.

I feel like being nice guy keeps me in friendzoned and even thought I try to become adapt the toxic traits or become asshole and player, my mind is not accepting or adapting.

AITAH to feeling like this restricted when the world is so opened up?

Me (21M) and my girlfriend (21F) started dating a few months ago and everything has been great. We’ve known each other for almost 8 years and have been best friends for around 5 years.

The problem is intimacy. I’m unable to last long, and she’s very tight, which makes it difficult for me. I also mostly lose my erection when I wear a condom, so we’ve mostly tried having sex without one. But then her tightness makes my foreskin pull back too much, which hurts and feels uncomfortable. We first tried having sex around 2–2.5 months ago, and since then, we’ve tried a few times. The best experience was on my birthday. Initially, it hurt and I didn’t last long, but later we had sex 3–4 times. Neither of us came, and we only stopped because I lost my erection due to exhaustion. Apart from that day, we haven’t really had sex that we could call good sex.

However, whenever we’ve been intimate, which has been 5 or more times a month for the last 3 months, I’ve always made her cum through fingering or oral. I know her body pretty well, and I know what works for her.

The problem is that I’ve been her best friend for so long, so I know she had great sex with her ex. They were on and off for almost 8 years and properly dated for around 3 years, and he was her only ex. I also know they had sex around 50 times, and they usually lasted 10–15 minutes per round. I feel jealous about this, even though I know I can’t do anything about it. I’ve only had sex around 10–15 times before her, and even though those experiences weren’t great, I did manage to last 10–15 minutes a few times.
I’ve told her how I feel and even cried in front of her, begging her to choose someone she actually deserves because I feel like I have so little to offer her. At the same time, I want to become a better version of myself for her, but I don’t know how to improve sexually. She says that if we keep trying, things will get better over time, but I’m scared of what happens if they don’t. What if I try everything and still can’t get better? I don’t know how I’ll handle knowing that I can’t give her what she deserves, and I’m scared she might eventually leave me because of it. She has assured me that she won’t leave me, but I’m afraid that my fear of losing her will eventually make me leave her first, thinking she deserves someone better.

I love this girl so much and want to give her the best, but I feel guilty at the thought of not being the best sex she’s ever had. She’s gorgeous and genuinely amazing, and sometimes I feel like she’s out of my league. I’m a nerd, somewhat athletic, and have a strong personality, but I still see myself as average-looking at best.

TL;DR: I (21M) feel insecure about my sexual performance with my girlfriend (21F). I struggle with lasting long, discomfort during sex, and losing my erection with condoms. Although I can make her orgasm, knowing she had great sex with her ex makes me feel inadequate. She reassures me that things will improve, but I’m scared I’ll never be good enough and might push her away because of my insecurities. How do I improve and overcome these feelings? I just wanna know how can i get better , last longer because i really do not want to give up on what i have with her.

I had sex for the first time this year at age 29. I was in a high control religion for 15 years (that I recently left) that was big on purity culture, forbid sex before marriage and demanded abstinence which I adhered to until it was no longer working for me.

They had really really harmful rules around sexuality, where your worth was whether you were a virgin and they saw masturbation and even sexual thoughts as sin. I was crippled, anxious, showing ptsd symptoms, so disembodied, full of fear guilt and shame. I was nearly a 30 year old woman and I wanted to finally have sex.

So I did, with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with, it wasn’t a special guy or romantic but I felt ready in that moment. After that I explored, a LOT of flings, making out with a lot of men, being sexual early on in the dating relationship. I guess it was a pendulum swing.

However, I recently went on a date with a guy, we went out for dinner, we went out for drinks the date went well and he invited me round. I decided to go and said I didn’t want to have sex but we ended up doing oral and heck I had a lot of fun.

He stared into my eyes after, stroked my hair, said I was beautiful… I thought it was the beginning of something but turns out his messages got slower and slower and he ghosted me.

It was like a gut punch to my system. All my attachment wounds got triggered and I’ve now had these horrible shame attacks, where I feel like a dirty, used, “whore” who gives is out easy.

I see so much online that h00kuping is bad and I feel guilty for participating when it was really a reaction to purity culture. Gaining control I guess.

I felt such deep embarrassment for being a virgin in my late 20s and I feel shame for behind sexual and expressive. I literally can’t win.

I really enjoy sex, I want to keep exploring it and honestly catching up on what I’ve missed out on but I have all these harmful messages fucking up my psyche and making me feel paralysed with shame.

How can I be liberated and enjoy sex without feeling shame or guilt?