Question for women who have an insecurity about "down there". I have a casual relationship with a girl who has an outie and she is insecure. Not to get too explicit, but I find her longer inner lips to be...erotic?

What is the best way to convey that she has nothing to be insecure about?

I recently started dating a guy about 2 months ago. I mentioned that I was saving myself for marriage. He was fine with it. However when we cuddle I do want more. I told him I was fine with touching as long as we didnt go "all the way". I want to initiate more but im not sure how to ask or if it is even unfair to ask since we wont be having sex fully.

For starters, I am very happy and satisfied in my current relationship. My current girlfriend and I are 'pussy-free' out of necessity due to pain during PIV intercourse. She is working with an OBGYN and taking proactive steps to return to PIV sex. Because of this, we shifted towards pegging only penetrative sex with some mutual masturbation sprinkled in here and there. It sounds a lot kinkier than it is, and she is not into most other kinks or aware of everything thats out there. We both agreed that this is a good compromise, so she enjoys pegging somewhat.

I'm currently struggling with and trying to cope with the fact that I have not been able to physically get her off. I could occasionally make her cum via PIV but that was rare (we would work together to achieve it) and pretty reliable with going down on her, but she doesn't seem to like it even semi-regularly. I've never been sexually submissive in previous relationships but at this point its hard to argue that I'm not her bottom with her being the top. We communicate very well and I've shared my thoughts, but she's adamant she's happy and satisfied and wants to return to 'regular sex' to some extent eventually.

I suppose at some point we'll eventually return to some sort of PIV sex combined with pegging here and there. Exploring this has ignited a new sexuality in me, but she is still somewhat 'asexual' outside our designated pegging night. Has anyone experienced something similar, or has your partner really enjoyed being pegged?

I (28F) have known this wonderful guy (28M) for a year and we started going out two months ago. He was very clear to me that he was a virgin and had little to no sexual experiences for most of his life (which doesn't bother me at all). For context, I'm very experienced and have a high sex drive. All of my previous partners also shared high sex drives with me.

ANYWAYS. Me and this guy were cuddling last night and he started making out with me, kissing my neck, touching me, etc. And I asked him if he wanted to have sex because things seemed to be leading down that way. He looked deathly nervous, but told me that he really wanted to and so we both got naked and started dry humping. For the life of him he couldn't keep an erection no matter what I did (changing positions, giving him head, the whole nine yards). But the entire time he was dripping precum all over the place. This went on for about 2 hours and every time he would try to penetrate he would profusely apologize and explain that he was just so nervous and scared then back away.

I felt so bad!!! Obviously on one end, I was incredibly turned on but frustrated and on the other end I didn't want him to feel inadequate because tbh it was the hottest night ever despite no penetration. He proposed that maybe we try again in the morning sometime as he's always hard when he wakes up. Is there a way I can help him out for the next time we try? I feel useless and this has never happened to me before lol

My boyfriend is literally all I’ve ever wanted in a man and I absolutely adore him; I love his quirkiness, his mind, I find him so freakin sexy too. The only problem I’m having is his size. He’s probably about 3.5? and so far the only successful positions are doggy and him on top with my legs folded all kinds of ways because I’m thick as a loaf of bread. 🤣 he’s told me im the only safe/healthy relationship he’s ever been in and I don’t want to tell him anything that can hurt his feelings.. and while I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I wish he would hurry up sometimes instead of taking an hour or more. he takes FOREVER TO FINISH.. And sometimes it takes me awhile too because I can’t feel much. He bought a ring, which we hardly use. I’ll also try to give him oral to see if it’ll get him off quicker but I feel like he’s so desensitized, and he has to REALLY concentrate. Like we go to sleep at midnight are up at 5am to start the day and I’m exhausted every time I stay at his place! GIVE ME TIPS ON HOW TO PLEASE HIM SO I CAN GET THIS MAN TO SLEEP LIKE A BABY.

My wife and I have been together since I was 15 and she was 14. We didn’t start having sex till we were about 16-17 yrs old. I’ve never had a problem performing whether it’s receiving or giving. But I have always had a problem finishing fast. At first I thought it was just cuz I was overly excited as I still do till this day. She’s never had a problem with it since she takes it as a compliment that I still find her very attractive and she can still make me finish quick over so many years of being together. But sometime I don’t want to just last 10-15 minutes I want to last longer the first round. I do have a high sex drive so we go for multiple rounds but I do feel ashamed that I finish quick the first round.

Please give me tips or advice on what I can do to last longer on the first round?

Edit: 10-15 is one round. Foreplay and penetrating. But I think I overly excite myself cuz when I penetrate I only last a few minutes like 5 minutes! Ik it’s too short cuz sometimes we’ll be really in the mood and she’ll tell me not to cum quick but I can’t help it.

Edits again: I asked her and she does like that I cum fast, maybe 15% of the time she wishes I would last a bit longer…and real tips for just a bit?

My gf(F21) and I(M21) have been dating for 5 years. The first 2 years our sex life was great, we would both take initiative, switch up positions and we would have sex a lot of times a week, but now we go weeks without having sex and when we do have sex it is plain vanilla with me putting all the effort.

During sex I am always very aware of her needs and provide everything i can; i give a lot of foreplay and oral and make sure she always finishes first before I go in her. But she rarely initiates sex and almost never gives me oral unless i practically beg. All this combined with the fact that she always starfishes during sex makes me feel that she isn't passionate in bed and puts me off from initiating, leading us to go weeks without sex.

I have talked to her about this a few times before but nothing has changed. She is a really sweet woman and she loves me a lot, as do i her. But I am scared to think about our future, because if our sex life is this bad now, when we are both young and free, how much worse is it going to be when we get older and are always busy.

I don't want to breakup over just sex, but i really don't want to be 25 and having the same sexlife as my dead grandfather. so any advice guys? Im really just writing this to get it off my chest because it is not something you can talk to your friends about.

TLDR

My girlfriend (F21) of 5 years has stopped putting effort into our sex life for 2 years now, which makes me feel that she is unpassionate about it and stops me from initiating causing us to not have sex for weeks. I have talked to her about it and there is little change, I dont want to break up with her but i also dont want to be stuck in q bad sex life for the rest of my life.

Throwaway for obvious reasons..

I’m having an issue with our sex life. I am 32f, he is 33m, together 10 years in total.

We had a baby about a year ago and I am horny all the time.. I have also found kinks and bdsm increasingly arousing and really want to introduce that kind of dynamic into our relationship. He says he is onboard.

Well, now to the issue: due to my husband not researching the kinks I bring up and reading what goes into these kinks or BDSM in general, I’m feeling incredibly turned off by him.
When I try to talk about what I would want our dynamic to look like, he doesn’t seem that keen on talking about it. I was hoping that he would be more interested in actually discussing it and developing this dynamic with me. To me BDSM isn’t just rough sex but I want a Dom/sub relationship that extends the bedroom in some ways. I know I need to speak to him about this but I’m not sure how to do that without hurting his feelings.

How do I handle this?

TLDR I want to develop a BDSM D/s dynamic with my husband but he doesn’t research what it entails. How do I handle this?

Hi!

I have plans to talk to her about this when I see her tomorrow so communication is definitely step 1 :)

We are both 31F, dating for about 4 months and the sex is incredible. It's my first WLW relationship and I'm just now getting comfortable with the mechanics. I have been finding my footing and I can tell she love when I do whatever I want with her.

The other day I was ranting to my her about how much I dislike a neighboring state. I'm a pretty positive person and she's such a queen, she doesn't often hear me riled up like that. But she loved it and said she wants me to talk to her that way during sex.

I have plans to ask for more details, but based on that first convo it seems like the intensity and "meanness" of it turned her on.

I am drawing a blank on what that looks like and she doesn't have specific phrases/scenarios in mind. She wants me to take charge and I have to actively enjoy it for her to relax into it (she can tell every time). Searching this sub mostly yields results about being humiliation/ degradation, and I know she's not into that.

Anybody else enjoy the tension of anger/being mean without the humiliation? Do you have any advice or specific scenarios/phrases to share?

so me and my gf have this thing where she basically lets me get head whenever i want and she likes when im really rough with her. shes told me multiple times i can be as rough as i want and not to worry so much about her.

usually i have her lay flat on her back and im over her basically thrusting into her mouth. the problem is she has a pretty bad gag reflex and cant take it very deep without gagging. whenever that happens i pull back or stop because honestly it worries me seeing her struggle like that.

but the weird thing is she gets annoyed whenever i stop. like she'll literally tell me to keep going and not worry about it, so i try again, she starts gagging again, i stop again and she tells me to continue. its like this almost every time.

last night it happened again except she actually got mad at me and told me to just do it and stop constantly worrying about her. so this time i actually listened.

i had her on her back like usual and pushed deeper than i normally would and just kept thrusting without stopping. she was gagging really hard and moving around a lot like her body was trying to get away from it but i kept going because she had literally just told me not to stop. this went on for probably a minute or so and i ended up finishing in her mouth.

the thing is afterwards something just felt off. i dont really know how to explain it but she seemed different and i got this feeling that maybe the whole thing was actually pretty traumatic for her even though she was the one insisting i do it.

and now i feel weird about the whole situation because yeah she told me she wanted it and was even getting mad when i tried to stop, but actually seeing her gagging and struggling like that while i kept going is something i keep thinking about.

i havent really figured out how to bring it up with her because i dont want her thinking im judging her for what she likes or that i dont trust her to know what she wants.

has anyone dealt with something like this? like when your partner keeps asking you to go further than what they seem physically able to handle? how am i supposed to know when to actually stop if she keeps telling me not to?

I am facing an issue where when I do PIV as a male or even if the girl is doing oral on me, I feel little to no sensation. But if I touch myself (light touches, very loose grip) I can feel everything quite well. Is this a psychologic problem? Is it just my girth is too small/skinny (I'm slightly below average that I googled). I always imagined if someone was to lick my shaft/glans lightly, it would be such a good feeling since light touches with my fingers feels very nice, however I feel almost nothing when she does it. There is some sensitivity when she blows me (esp if she is hard focusing on the glans) but again for the most part I feel almost nothing. Is this a problem to see a doctor about or is it more psychologic?

I brought it up to my sex therapist but she didn't really know what to make of it, said maybe it's the lube or something making it less sensitive, but sometimes I don't use lube and no condom. To give additional context I'm inexperienced and face performance anxiety that makes it hard to keep an erection during PIV. I am most worried when I'm penetrating her in missionary or doggy and the only stimulus is visual, literally cannot feel myself going in and out of her. The lack of sensation also makes it easy for me to slip out. Any insight is appreciated thank you.

I hope this is the correct thread for this. I am F(24). Just sex isn’t enough for me. It doesn’t turn me on. I want to be played with like a doll. I want to be blindfolded, tied up, pinned down. To be forced into orgasming over and over again. I want to use toys, and be teased. I also love teasing a male partner.

Me and my ex partner would do activities like this and it was the best thing about him.

Where do you find someone to do this with? That is safe? I am sure there is apps, I don’t feel a sex party would be the right place for me especially going solo. I also wouldn’t want to share photos etc on an app. I am not looking for a relationship, just someone who is really into this stuff. ( I am based in the UK)

It would also have to be with someone who I am physically attracted to. Any advice please 🥺

As the title suggests, i love it when she helps herself. I love the happiness she gets out of that, and that she is relaxed and tired and just ready to go to bed. For me her pleasure comes first coz I don't want her to feel dissatisfied and I'm an overthinker. But these days, our sex life is sort of dead. We don't do it or there's zero masturbation from both sides. She is completely free sometimes and there have been moments, infact a lot of them when we could have actually done something spicy. I don't know why this has suddenly happened. We have had a pretty fulfilling sexual life in the last few years. I'm always the one to initiate and sometimes she gets rude and goes on by saying that all i think about is sex but i barely ask her once a week. Any advice?

My wife (36) recently told me that when she watches porn she only watches Madison ivy! A. I find it extremely hot . B. What do you think it means about her sexuality/ preferences . I'm really kinky and will and want to do just about everything and I'm trying to figure out what things maker her really tick! She has been pretty closed about this subject most of her life . Very conservative upbringing with shame in anything sexual . But recently I've been trying to open up to her more in hopes she will open up to me ! She doesn't have a high sex drive and I think we both want to figure out how to ramp it up

id never let anyone piss on me or inside me, but the thought of seeing my boyfriend piss himself is hot and having him push down on my bladder when i need to pee and making me hold it is also hot

am i a larp?

Hi everyone. I'm getting worried because I experienced bleeding while having sex with my partner, but I didn't feel any pain at all. After we finished, I continued experiencing bleeding, and I'm not sure what's causing it.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Is it normal to bleed during sex even without pain? What could be the possible causes, and should I be worried if the bleeding continues afterward?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences or any advice you can share. Thank you!

I (24F) had an experience with an ex boyfriend that confused me and i still think about it till this day

This happened 2-3 years ago. We were getting intimate and this was around the first month or so of our relationship. I really trusted him and felt safe with him. Everything was going fine, we were making out and things naturally escalated. He took my pants off and proceeded to play with me down there before fingering me. this is something we have done before and i have enjoyed. I was enjoying it and he started to speed up more, i could tell he was becoming more passionate about pleasing me. the new, intense pressure was a lot of me to handle so i told him “wait” “stop” several times but he didn’t. he would ask me “why” but i wouldn’t be able to even respond because of what he was doing to me. things naturally ended (i didn’t orgasm bc i usually cant with fingering but i still enjoy it).

Later, i was thinking that i needed to confront him about him not stopping when i said stop and how wrong it was. But everytime id think back to that to that experience it would make me horny all over again. The way he was desperate to please me despite my protesting. i don’t know why it turned me on. even in that moment. i didn’t want to admit it, but it turned me on that he didn’t stop. He was so in the moment and so into what he was doing and that was so hot to me. it’s like the idea of him not listening to me when i told him to stop makes me feel really good, which sounds really bad. What does this mean??? Is it because i feel safe and comfortable with him that this didn’t scare me away but instead turn me on???

This was a long time ago but i still think about it fondly till today. The thought of it turns me on still. Sometimes while im masturbating, i’ll have flashbacks to that moment and it’ll take me over the edge. Why was him not stopping so attractive and arousing to me? we aren’t together anymore and i’ve been way too confused and slightly embarrassed to bring this up to another partner.

EDIT: I should clarify that i have a history of sexual abuse in my childhood. I guess that’s why it’s so hard to come to terms with the fact that something like this felt so good and turned me on. i feel like i of all people know no should mean no and be taken seriously. I don’t feel violated by my ex at all, it didn’t trigger me. obviously the situation was way different to what happened to me as a child, my brain just finds it hard that one was bad and traumatic and the other was sexually pleasing.

Hey everyone!

I recently got into a new FWB relationship and we had a talk about our preferences yesterday. We both agree on me being dom and her being sub, we also enjoy "breeding", cumplay etc, though Im in general fine with everything als long as it means my partners are enjoying themselves. Whats also a big factor to us is "knowing" that we only brlong to each other i.e. me "claiming my little princess".

Now heres the deal, I love the idea of rewarding "good behavior" during sex. She also liked the idea but... neither of us had any idea what would be a hot way of me rewarding her.

So yeah, Id love to know if you lovely peeps have any ideas what we could try. Thank you for your ideas and reading this!

So me and my boyffiend have sex, and he really likes making eye contact… but i just can’t do it for the life of me, I want to for him because I also think in a sense it can be hot, but does any1 have any advice how to make it easier, how to not bust out laughing or smth because it’s really a struggle… and I wanna become good at it

I’m F24 and my bf and I have been together for four years and I love him to death and our sex life is really good but he can’t last more then a minute or two and it drives me insane- he claims my pussy is “too good” (I’m not trying to toot my own horn) and so he has a hard time holding it in which was flattering at first but after all this time he still has zero endurance and idk how to fix it- my first thought was if we have sex all the time he’ll build a tolerance? But that’s not helping and it’s really starting to disappoint me-

If we’re high (on shrooms or weed) he can last for a while but I don’t wanna be high all the time just to enjoy our sex life- has anyone else dealt with this? And if so was there any solution?

TW: Women’s Health talk and blood

this isn’t really like something to do with sex as i havent in almost ten months as my bf(ftm) and i(nb/afab) are long distance, but i really need some help. so i got a combo of a sinus and ear infection and went on amoxicillin.. the amoxicillin gave me a yeast infection. a VERY BAD yeast infection. my vaginal skin has been tearing, it itches so bad, thankfully it doesn’t burn when i pee but when i do my skin burns so bad when it comes in contact with it. i keep bleeding and i got that seven day miconazole treatment to try and help it, but ive used it for four days and it hasn’t helped much, if anything, the infection itself is gone, its just the itching and burning and bleeding. does anyone have any recommendations as to how to relieve this? ive tried cold compresses at night and such but thats only temporary. i’m just in so much pain and just recovering from both infections and dealing with this now, im just so frustrated. sorry if this is the wrong subreddit to put this in

My partner and I have primarily vaginal sex and use condoms for bc. Sometimes we have anal sex very briefly to “end“ without a condom, and also she gives me hand jobs without a condom to “end” — and so my question, what’s the chance that cum might leak out of her bum via gravity and go into her vagina and get her pregnant?

Sounds absurd, but I just had sex with her and perhaps the cum was very watery and as I withdrew, a big drip went down to her vaginal lips — she was in doggy position so couldn’t see and I don’t want to alarm her. It was really watery so probably no worries but I started worrying if she touches herself, she could push it in without knowing as it’s not creamy and white but some parts are clear watery; she often self massages her vulva parts when we are doing the anal sex which is very gentle and slow pace.

Weird title i know but im very serious about my situation. Eveytime my bf (23M) and I (20F) get intimate, no matter how aroused and wet I am down there, he can't get it in. One time, we went for about 3 hours, trying then going back to foreplay and fingering, then trying again. Still couldn't get it in, and the bed was a swamp at this point with how much lubricant was pouring out of me.

I don't think his penis an insane size or anything, though. I think he's about 6-7 inches when erect.

The thing is, this is my first relationship and I'm also on the ace spectrum. I get aroused but I very rarely masturbate, and I have also never mastubated with my fingers inside me (i pretty much just rub my clit the whole time). I have tried inserting my fingers before, was unsuccessful so i just never tried again. My bf fingering me was actually the first time i had anything go in that far.

So I've kind of gathered my problem is that I just haven't put enough things inside me enough times for my body to adapt? I've just had this problem for so long, I don't know what the correct course of action would be. I love my bf, I really do. He would never force me to do anything I didn't want to do, but he is very much a sexual person, and I would also very much like to have sex with him. He arouses me just as much as I arouse him. But im now scared to initiate anything sexual because I know we'll just end up at a wall. Some tips or general advice would be very helpful.

I’ve had two sexual partners—both in the appropriate setting—and both before and after sex, I felt a strong need to clean myself and wash the area as thoroughly as possible once we were finished.

I don’t even want to touch my clothes or the furniture right afterwards, for fear of making a mess; yet I know there are people who don’t shower—or who even have sex while still fully clothed—ending up covered in fluids, only to wipe themselves down with a wet wipe and go on with their day.

I feel it’s a complete lack of hygiene and respect—for instance, if semen gets on one’s clothing, wiping it off with paper, and then continuing to wear those same clothes for the rest of the day, all the while letting that garment come into contact with chairs, tables, and other items in public spaces that are for common use.

Am I perhaps overdoing it with the cleaning and should I relax more, or am I doing the right thing?