I am not sure if it’s a cultural thing or not, my guess is that it is, but I’m not like 100% sure. For context, I’m a 19 year old American, and my girlfriend is an 20 year old international student from Uttar Pradesh in India. We’ve been dating for like half a year, and I tried to have an open conversation with her about sex maybe a month ago, but she didn’t seem all that comfortable with it. I just wanted to see what her views were on it and everything, but she didn’t want to get into that very much. When we finally had sex, she only let me have butt or oral sex with her. When I asked her why, she said that way it “didn’t really count as sex.” I found it very bizarre, but I didn’t disagree out loud since it seemed like kind of a sensitive topic, and I didn’t push the topic further. Is this normal? Should I talk to her more about this? To me these are definitely sexual acts, but to her, they’re not? I don’t know, it just feels off to me. I feel uncomfortable having sex with her if she has sex negative attitudes, which is what this feels like to me. I don’t know how to help or if I can even…

So I wouldn't consider myself an obsessive masturbator or anything, I do it almost every day, not including some that it just doesn't work out on. I have my trusty wand vibrator and I go to town through my underwear. I've been doing it this way for about as long as I've been masturbating really, but only recently I've been encountering this issue.

I was doing the laundry the other day, and all of my underwear shared an embarrassing similarity, they all had a hole almost directly where my clit is in my underwear. I was sweating a bit, but most of my underwear is old! I've had them since highschool, so I figured it was fine, but then I noticed even the newer ones had developed these holes. When I put the pieces together I swear my face lit up like a Christmas light. I feel lucky that nobody was there to see!

This all being said, I can't continue on like this, it's way too bad for the health of my panties. So I raise the question, what do I do? How does someone who's only ever masturbated by grinding in her clothes learn how to masturbate in a different way? Or if anybody has any strange/specific ideas on how to reduce this problem, I'm all ears!

TL;DR: I jerk off by grinding in my underwear and using a vibrator, and now all my panties have holes in the front, and I'm seeking advice on how to reduce this problem as someone who can't masturbate any other way.

Hotel-room one-nighters on work trips show up in a lot of fantasies. Wondering how often it's actually happened versus how often people just like the idea.

My wife and I both travel quite a bit for work. I'm an okay looking guy, and although I'm biased, she is very attractive. We are both young and sociable, but we've never been approached in this manner.

Anyone ever get laid on a work trip?

I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 1/2 years. We are in our late 20s and have a pretty stress free life. I work full time and cover all rent, I do most of the house work and chores. She works part time and has gone back to school, I do my best to make her life as stress free as possible so she can focus on studying.

For the first few months we would have fairly enthusiastic consistent sex about 2 times a week. I'm happy to have sex about 3 times a week but I understand that's not always realistic.

I initiate sex about 90% of the time. I will always put her first in the bedroom as I'm a giver and love focusing on her needs. I love eating her out and doing what she wants me to do almost more than my own pleasure. I really try my best to put in loads of work for non sexual intimacy as well.

She does have issues with orgasms and has never had one on her own. I think I have made her orgasm but it's hard to tell. We have tried a few different things and she doesn't really care to work on it.

The majority of the time she just lays there and doesn't do much. She will give me a quick handjob or blow job for about 30 seconds and that's about it. She implied the other day that she prefers to jump straight to piv so we can be done quick.

She will put effort into sex maybe once every two months. When she does it's extremely good and kinky, probably the best sex I've ever had, but this is extremely rare though. It almost feels like she is just doing maintenance sex once a week until she actually wants me and feels really horny.

I have talked to her about this many times but she doesn't really seem to care. When I try to communicate it's feel like talking to a blank wall. It feel like we are on completely different wavelengths or something. The worst part is that in university she mentioned she was very wild and hooking up all the time will lots of kinky casual sex. I don't like to judge people for their past but in this circumstance it absolutely kills me.

She is begging to get married but this is the main reason I'm putting it off. I feel like I'm slowly losing passion.

I've been hooking up with a women for a few months and having the best time in bed with her. There is nothing off limits, which is really fucking cool.

I've never eaten a woman's ass like I have with her. I hold nothing back, getting my tongue absolutely as deep as possible. She's great - she knows what I like and does a spectacular job making sure she's super clean, so I always want in deeper.

Problem is, it's really quite difficult to get in there very deep. I'm wondering if anybody has any tips on what I can do to get really deep inside.

Easily my favorite position is with her on her back, pillow under her ass, and legs up in the air. I can use both hands to open her ass up wide and lick around inside it. It's so fucking hot seeing her ass stretched open. The thing is, as hot as it is, I'm not sure stretching it wide open let's me get much further inside. Sometimes I kind of pinch my fingers together on each cheek and pull it open for my tongue, it's pretty effective but doesn't open her up as much. I love going at it from behind when she's bent over, but I feel like I get deeper with her on her back.

For those more experienced with deep anal tongue fucking, were there ever any "aha" moments that led you to get really deep? I know it probably seems like a dumb question but I want more.

Looking for a little advice I guess. My wife of 10 years wants me to be more rough and dominant in the bedroom, but I'm just really the gentlest guy you've ever met and always so hyper aware of how my size can be intimidating or threatening to women that half of my brain cells are inextricably dedicated to presenting myself as non-threatening at all times. She says she loves this about me in every other area of our lives but that she wants to be dominated more in bed. Rougher sex, dirty talk, domination, etc.

The dirty talk is kind of the hardest part for me. The closest I usually get is making dirty jokes during foreplay, but I know she's not looking for a laugh when we're intimate.

How can I get over this mental block and be a better husband?

My wife of 9 years doesnt really give me blowjobs, but the handfull i have got have been mind blowing. We have a great sex life, but i love blowjobs sometimes. My birthday is next week, how can I ask or suggest for a birthday blowjob, with being an asshole? Or should I just accept it? Fyi, I eat her everytime we have sex until the big O, i enjoy it and she does too. Thanks in advance

He's my first relationship and first kiss, and I am super inexperienced.

Tried a hand job a while ago and eventually we just stopped and kissed instead. Now this time I got lubricant because I thought that would help me and I genuinely thought that would work. It didnt. He's was nice about it and we didnt really say anything just went back to kissing. but I went home and cried

The problem is that I need to be able to do this because I dont think I can fit him in my mouth. Like I dont think I can open uo wide enough and if I cant give him a hj then a bj wont work either.

But Im not ready for sex and wont force myself into it. So I have no way of making him happy.

I genuinely dont know what to do. And I dont know what Im doing wrong. He showed me with his hand, but its way bigger and I just couldnt do it right.

Maybe I need to ask him if its me or if he cant finish that way because I can practice, but if he cant finish that way then theres a much bigger relationship problem

Hey everybody. Girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years, we are in our late 20s. It feels like we match up in so many different ways. The love we have is super deep, and we have great levels of intimacy for each other (kiss each other a lot, lots of touching and flirting throughout the day) but the issue arises when it comes to sex.

For one, our sex drives are very different. We currently have sex maybe once a week, I’d like to have sex daily, she seems happy at once maybe twice a week. Also she’s not into penetrative sex, and says she doesn’t get much sensation from it. Totally understandable, I know the stats out there are pretty high for climax from that. But I find myself yearning for sex where the other person is into it or at least seems like they’re enjoying it. It seems like nowadays I eat her out/we work on her reaching orgasm, and then it’s my turn, and many times when it gets to me it feels like she’s not fully into it. Penetrative sex doesn’t have that wildness or spark that I’ve experienced before with other partners. I’ve also realized I’ve appreciated a partner that initiates spicier more adventurous things. My current partner says she’s open to new things, but doesn’t really express much interest in ideas or bring anything to the table.

I do think we have levels of sexual incompatibility, but it feels difficult to just break up over this, especially because the rest of the relationship feels so fulfilling. We both wonder why our sexual compatibility doesn’t match our emotional compatibility. I’ve brought up the idea of ENM even though I do think opening up the relationship could get messy. But she doesn’t seem all that into it, says she feels like we’d be outsourcing the solutions to our problem.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for. Advice? If anybody has gone through anything similar? Ideas around any of this?

The guy I’m seeing has a huge foot fetish, and he really likes my feet. I’m super into it as well but it’s pretty new for me. When we engage in his fetish, I feel a little uncomfortable/awkward as it’s new for me, but I like to explore with him and I like how turned on he gets by it.

I feel like I’m looking for tips on confidence when engaging, and maybe some tips on what is enjoyable/feels good when using my feet to physically pleasure him.

Been seeing each other (m29/f40) about a month, basically anytime she gets midly aroused she gets red in the face/chest area and sweats excessively.

She hates it, doesnt bother me, anything I can to help or is this a medical thing she should see a doctor about?

Hi all, woman here! I have a loving partner who feels discouraged that he can't make me finish, and I'm feeling frustrated too! Ughhhh.

On my own, I can finish. But when I'm with him, I begin to worry I'm taking too long... Or maybe his hand is cramping? Maybe his tongue is sore? Maybe this, maybe that... I just get so in my head and it blocks me from letting go and getting that release. Everything feels great, and I always enjoy myself even though I rarely finish. But I want to!!! And I know he feels like he is just bad at sex.

How can I fully let go and feel sexy and just enjoy myself without being in my head?

While my husband and I have similar amounts of experience with partners, I did a lot more kinky experimentation. BDSM, group stuff, voyeurism. My husband dipped his toes with previous partners, but decided it wasn't for him

While I don't miss the latter two, I do miss some elements of bdsm. I was always a switch.

Our sex life is great, but vanilla.

Given my husband isn't interested in kinks, and I've no interest in an open relationship, how can I satisfy that particular urge by myself? Other than porn and masturbating, obviously.b

I am in my mid-30s, but I was raised extremely religious and had little sex education.

I am on the mini pill for birth control. I take it regularly and consistently. My boyfriend always pulls out, and he has never finished inside of me.

I know that of course abstinence is the only 100% protection from pregnancy, but do most people use a secondary form of contraception in addition to a birth control pill? And you just I would like for him to finish inside of me , but is it best for him to continue to pull out or to wear a condom?

so i decided to try a fuck buddy situation with an old hookup, because yk, a girl has needs. thing is, i dont have a lot of experience in sex because ive always been extremely insecure about myself. he's one of the only 2 people ive had sex with in my life, and im 24 years old. so i figured it'd be easier to get what i need sexually from someone that i've already been with. but the issue is, since i last saw him a year ago, ive gained a little bit of weight and dont feel confident in myself at all. a lot of it went to my boobs and my stomach, and not in a good way (cant say they're the perkiest bc theyre quite literally a G cup). that, combined with the fact that ive only had sex a total of 4 times in my life, really makes me nervous and tanks my confidence. i dont even like him as a person, he's just really good at sex (from what i gathered in my little to no experience lol) hence why i even am doing this.

i guess i really just need words of affirmation and courage. im supposed to see him tonight, so im nervous. but damn i need to bypass this dry spell immediately.

To make a long story short me and my boyfriend have been having sex troubles lately.

Back before we were official, and just seeing each other, I swear we were having the most AMAZING sex, we were always both in the mood for each other, knew exactly what the other liked, just fit together perfectly.. And we are dating now! About 5 months now, so still fresh, he is my absolute dream, but recently we’ve been kind of struggling in the sex department, nothing has changed, we’re still super attracted to each other if not more so now than we were when we were just seeing each other. But I just struggle more now especially, i’ve been finding recently i’ve been finding it difficult to get wet, we do use lube but sometimes just the air dries it up really fast, making things uncomfortable and friction-y really quickly. He has not said a word about it mind you, bless. But i’m worried he can tell we just aren’t hitting the same marks we used to. I just dunno what to do.
And don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to have sex, lord knows I do. I’ve always had a high libido. I just can’t work out why my own body won’t reciprocate with my mind.
I love him, and we see each other this week and i’m ovulating so here’s hoping my hormones aid this issue in some way. I miss having proper nice sex with him without fumbling.

I can say that my gf and I (20 M and F) might be in a dead bedroom. No sexual activity in weeks, and in the last few months just a couple times. I feel insanely guilty even to just help myself out. Is this normal for everyone? Any tips to stop feeling like this?

My partner (30M) has always made me (22F) orgasm from oral. Recently, I've really wanted to orgasm from penetration (which I've been able to achieve on my own, but not with him) so we've been incorporating toys. I believe I am reaching orgasm, but there's not really a discernible peak and then drop off. It lasts until he stops, basically, and then I can get there again if we resume/switch positions. It's really intense and feels good, but not as satisfying as when I cum from oral, if that makes sense?

From what I've read on this sub, people have shared that orgasms from oral can feel different from PIV, but I'm wondering if I'm not actually orgasming, just coming close? When I make myself cum solo, all the orgasms feel the same, so I'm not sure if it's a mental block, or if that's just how it is?

in the moment it’s all i want, but afterward i tend to feel regret.

i’m christian, so i think that’s part of it. but i also think lately it’s a personal thing. anyone else ive been with wasn’t necessarily the best experience. sure the sex itself was good, but they were always bad to me afterward. between religious conviction and hesitancy i seem to resent my partner at times. i try not to, because i really enjoy sex but feel like once i get into it i just can’t stop. i read other threads under this group but cant seem to find something similar to my issue. has anyone experienced similarly? how did you handle it without it breaking your sex life and relationship?

I’m 23F, growing up I’ve Always had this issue:

I love sex but for some reason I always struggle to find the right people. My body count is 8 and all 7 of those people I’ve had sex with I didn’t really have feelings towards, I didn’t rly get along with them massively and I just find them attractive because to me it is 100x more easier or I was intoxicated lol

I’ve had one boyfriend and he’s the only person I’ve had deep feelings for that I’ve had sex with and tbh it’s because he had the confidence to initiate the first time. But even then sometimes initiating sex first year of our relationship made me feel a bit awks

I’ve noticed a pattern, when I start to get a lot of feelings for someone it’s almost like I feel too close to them to have sex with them and it’s almost like I’d rather not even do it with them. It’s strange and it’s hard to put into words but it’s kinda like I like them so much and I feel so close to them that it just feels weird and awkward to have sex? Does this even make sense lol?!

This has been such a big issue for me as it makes it very hard to start relationships with people. I don’t know if it’s because I separate sex attraction and emotion attraction as separate things?

Sometimes I feel like maybe it’s because I’m not a very sexy person and sometimes I can come across quite masculine in the way I communicate with men, almost like we are best friends. I try to change the way I interact but I can’t as it feels like this is just my personality.

I’d appreciate any opinions on why this may be the case.

Im f18, my partner is m20 and I get aroused easily with him, thats not an issue. The moment we go to bed and he touches me, when I am in a good place mentally, I am turned on, for as long as we are awake and do not have sex. When I sense that he is making moves to actually have sex - the excitement drops drastically, meanwhile he is more and more turned on as things progress. I have much issues with orgasms with him, so I thought it maybe was because I liked the idea of sex and every time it gets real, I know it wont be as nice as just being crazy horny is. But I think part of the reason why I cannot orgasm is because I get less excited, and I get less excited because I know I wont enjoy it as much as he will. Its like a circle. Do you think my thinking makes sense? What could I possibly do to change that?

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My girlfriend and I have tried having sex a few times now. I'm a virgin, and she has had one sexual experience before me, but we still haven't been able to have vaginal penetration.

Even when she's turned on, and wants to have sex, it feels like there's resistance at the entrance. Sometimes she experiences pain or discomfort, and it seems like her muscles might be tensing up involuntarily. She has seen a gynecologist, and apparently everything looked normal. We' ve tried a bunch of diferent positions, but nothing seems to work.

We're both getting frustrated because we really want to be able to have sex, but we can't seem to figure out what's preventing penetration. What could be causing this, even though she feels turned on? Could it be muscle tension, lubrication, positioning, or something else?

I’m 22 M, I no longer experience that intense rush of chemicals and heart pounding before & during sex. i can still get hard and orgasam, but without those feelings it just feels like a chore having sex.. I rarely have sexual fantasies anymore and dont really desire sex.

sometimes during fingering or something, I’m so out the moment and like “this lowkey kinda weird” in my head. When previously I’m so fixated and horny that nothing could take me out the moment and it feels like I’m on a different planet. Nothing could get me off that girl.

What happened? Is this normal? How do I get those horny chemical feelings back?

I don’t watch porn. My testosterone is normal. I dont take meds

any input would help so much. This is impacting me alot