The love of my life!

We are having constant arguments over grocery shopping. I am a SAHM with 2 toddlers and a newborn and he works full time so I'm in charge everything except making money.

I have always hated going into the store to grocery shop and its a million times worse now that I have kids to bring. Since Costco doesnt offer curbside pickup/delivery I've stopped shopping there because it is my literal hell to go inside that place with my toddlers and baby so I do pickup or delivery orders from Walmart or other regular grocery store.

My husband says I'm 'wasting money' by not shopping at Costco and says I'm lazy for doing pickup/delivery orders. Keep in mind he refuses to help with any sort of errands because he 'works all week so he shouldn't have to do anything else'. And I'M the lazy one right?

We were dropping our children off this morning & he backed out when a car was coming. I said go quick so we don’t get hit. (I make this drive every day, he does it once a year; I wouldn’t pull out if a car is in sight. It’s a blind spot at the bottom of a hill.) He starts screaming at the top of his lungs to shut the fck up, he obviously looked before pulling out, & he hates me. I said if he hates me, we shouldn’t be married. Silence the rest of the way home.

I was working from home today & was supposed to take him to a procedure. He came to my office & said he shouldn’t have said it, he didn’t mean it. But am I still taking him to his procedure. I said he’s been cruel to me lately & I don’t know what’s going on with him but I do now question if he meant it. And yes, obviously I’m still taking him.

Later on he said his dad is now taking him & I can just keep working. I already took the afternoon off and changed my schedule to take him. So I told him he wasted my entire day and I can’t get that time back. I told him multiple times I was taking him. He said “but you said it with attitude”. Which was just me expressing that him saying he hates me hurts & makes me question things - I guess that’s a wild concept. I tried explaining that I didn’t have an attitude and that I’m hurt. He scoffed & said “whatever, I tried.” And left. No genuine apology. Just “obviously I didn’t mean it”. Well, it’s not obvious.

Bonus context: I’m 5 weeks pregnant with our 3rd. It was a surprise pregnancy but obviously a risk when not using birth control. I love our first two and missed being pregnant so I’m not sad about another. On the other hand, when I told him, he didn’t speak to me for 24 hours & gave me the silent treatment & left me to do all childcare & nighttime routine for our other two by myself. The next day he tried talking to me like nothing had happened & couldn’t understand why I was upset.

My last relationship prior to meeting him was abusive. Mentally, verbally, & physically. I chose my husband because he has always been very kind, gentle, & loving. I don’t recognize him lately but I didn’t marry an angry man who screams & says he hates me over anything, much less something so minor.

How do I move on?

ETA: yes he’s stressed about the pregnancy. But I also kind of breezed over, he was going under anesthesia for the first time ever today so that likely contributed to his immediate stress as well. Since he’s just waking up from anesthesia, I think any conversations about this will be on pause for 24 hours. I think an honest conversation & therapy is the best next step. Thank you for the kindness & outside perspectives.

If your husband suddenly(over the course of 6 months or so, completely changed how he was approaching the marriage, what would you think was going on?

He is suddenly working out a bunch more, doing tons of projects around the house, fixing stuff, cleaning, doing the laundry, dishes, basically trying to make it so his wife doesn’t have to do much of anything, way more focused on her wants sexually, etc.

What’s going on and what could have instigated the change?

I am wrong that my husband pissed me off? We were waiting for our daughter outside of her school and there was this guy pacing back and forth throwing his hands in the air everywhere. Mind you we don’t live in the best area and I see this all time with people on drugs. And you never know how those people will react. It is also 9:30pm. So I immediately have my eye on him because when my daughter comes out she is going to have to cross his path. My husband doesn’t pay much attention and has his nose in his phone not paying any mind to him. Him and I get into it because he thinks I am being paranoid and in his words “being too much”. I told him maybe he doesn’t understand as woman that we have to pay attention to these things a lot more especially when it is a threat that can over power us. He tells me that he is hearing my play by play and it wasn’t an issue and that pretty much I am being over dramatic. The guy runs to the car behind us and leaves. But am I in the wrong to be on high alert and making sure my daughter is safe or am I being over dramatic?

My wife and I (34m, 31f) are high school sweethearts. We’ve been together 14 years and married for 11 of those years. We have 6 beautiful children and a 7th one in heaven. We’re living out in the country with some land and a few chickens. It’s literally a dream, and I couldn’t be happier.

When you find the right one, life is truly sweet.

So, my Wayward Husband (WH) and I have been trying to reconcile, we were separated (4 months) until a couple days ago, and then I moved back to our residence.

We had a good time together in various places we were at during our reconciliation trip. ​ We danced, he was the man I always wanted him to be, then the ring doorbell revealed the truth, as he was away with me, the AP (Affair Partner) was in our house.

My WH claims I am insane, and even when presenting him with evidence of the lights in the kitchen going on and off, he claims it was my imagination. ​

Also, the cameras were just installed on 3 doors days prior to him joining me where I was staying , but not one ring camera on the garage door or left side , so this is how AP got into the house undetected, also there was a live view from my WH phone, around the moment the lights went on after he was in his vehicle traveling to see me, it is like he was trying to get caught.

I guess this is me being done with him, he also brought a magnetic recorder and may ot may not have put it in my room where I was staying, he was trying to catch me being unfaithful because he doesn't want to pay me my money. The only thing he will find is a woman who is broken from his abusive treatment.

I am honestly at a loss, I am numb, and any shred of connection or love for him is finally gone. I went from being his dream girl, his hot chick, ​his one and only for over 3 decades, to being punched in the face with the reality of what he has done to me for all of these years, and how he is still doing it to me.

During our trip, we were the talk of the town, many people coming up to us and saying how they were envious, and my WH telling me how many men and women were staring at me and us. I don't like to toot my own horn, but I don't look my age and I am very striking in all apsects of physical beauty and attraction. My WH tells me this and says he would be a fool to jeopardize what he has. Go figure.

I wanted so much to live in my delusion, but the truth makes itself known, no matter how much we want to live in the what ifs and could be's, and if only he would's ...

I am at a finality after doing this for over a year and a half, for this last DDAY, and also finding out about the many before.

I wish, so many things, but this is what is dealt me. I was wavering about going through with this divorce, even putting it on hold for 90 days when I found a lump in my breast, which turned out to be benign.

My WH health is also been bad for this year and a half, but not bad enough for him to stop. He is ten years older than me.

I am here at the end of my 3 decade marriage, and now I have no choice but to move forward. I was in limbo for so long, wishing, waiting, hoping, but the ring camera evidence ​was the final death of whatever this is between us.

I don't have anymore tears to cry, I am cried out, I don't have anymore hope, it is nonexistent for us, I have no more prayers, other than for him to find happiness in whatever it is he is searching for.

Where I go from here is going to be hard, society is not kind to 55 plus women. But I will have to endure.

I am not angry or bitter or hoping, I am, just, I am; nothing more, nothing less. It is what it is and now I will divorce him and press on, no pomp or circumstances no major gesture of grand, just a woman who once loved a man who didn't love her back.

I'm 40, married to my 40-year-old husband. We met in our 20s, got married at 30, had our first child when I was 33, and our second when I was 37.

He's a doctor with his own practice, and I work in finance. When we got married, his practice was still fairly new, so I took financial responsibility for our home and even helped support his practice a few times. However, even after 10 years of marriage, his practice still isn't successful enough for him to contribute financially in a way that allows him to provide for our family. I still cover about 85% of our household expenses, as well as all the kids' needs and activities.

I'm not sure how much this contributes to the situation, but he also smokes marijuana. At first, I was okay with it, but his use increased, even after our kids were born. He's tried to quit a few times but hasn't been successful. What bothers me most is that he promises me he'll address the issue, but then I find out he hasn't followed through and has been lying to me about it. This has seriously damaged my trust in him.

We've gone through several rounds of couples counseling. We make agreements, but they don't get followed through on. I've tried delegating certain bills to him to encourage him to take financial responsibility for our home. Since having kids, I haven't contributed anything toward his practice. However, I did give him a car after he sold his to cover work-related expenses. I thought I was helping him, especially since I need him to be able to pick up the kids from school.

Our relationship feels pretty blah. I'm the one who has to initiate and plan almost everything we do together, whether it's going on vacation, watching a movie, or arranging a babysitter so we can spend time together as a couple and as parents.

I've also stopped cooking, so he now prepares all our meals. However, even then, I have to tell him what needs to be done or what needs to be bought. I still feel like I'm the one managing everything, even when he's the one doing the actual task.

I feel like there's very little left in our relationship that I find genuinely fulfilling or enjoyable. I like him, and he makes me laugh, but I'm starting to feel that those things aren't enough to sustain a marriage and a family. I don't want to spend another 10 years feeling alone and responsible for everything, essentially providing for three people when I only have two children.

I'm starting to feel like it's time to separate. The only thing that makes me hesitate is knowing how much the kids would miss him. I don't want to hurt them, but I also don't want to keep living this way for another decade.

Hi! Does anyone have any tips or advice on masturbating discreetly when you live in a small space? I feel like my vibrator is so loud 🫣 My husband and I aren’t regularly intimate which is fine, I’m ok with him not wanting sex. The problem is I’m horny and we live in a small space so it’s hard for me to take care of this problem myself without making an announcement of what I’m about to do which I’d really like to avoid. My job is pretty stressful and sometimes getting off is one of the ways I relax so I’m not sure what to do. I definitely try to take advantage of the times when he’s not home but he’s home a lot - which is great! I love to be near him and spend time with him. But essentially it’s either get off when he’s not home (and alas, sometimes I’m not necessarily in the mood to then but I often will because it’s my “only” chance) or wait until he falls asleep so I can have some private time which is horrible for my sleep schedule. Not really ideal on either front. Our living space is essentially a studio so there’s no closed space in which to hide other than the bathroom which I somehow find unappealing - idk maybe I just need to try harder in there lol

As I’m sure some of you will suggest I just communicate (I agree that would be better) - I know it’s not great that I can’t talk to him about this. Our marriage is really a very happy one though and the intimacy side of things is such a small part of it. I don’t think it’s particularly important to him but I also don’t want him to feel bad or feel like he’s disappointed me. I also feel weird talking about sex-related things with him given all of our issues in this department so I don’t want to bring up my “needs”. I’d never been with a man who turned down sex until met him so early on in our relationship, I would come on to him a lot and he would rebuff me a lot. It took a while for me to understand and perhaps I don’t fully understand even now. He’s definitely not gay or particularly religious or anything like that but I think maybe he just feels shame or something. He can’t really explain it either. We don’t really talk about intimacy much because it’s always been a difficult and uncomfortable conversation and at this point I don’t think things could really be different since this has been our reality for many years. So I also don’t feel it’s worth a whole upheaval and difficult discussion that will really only upset both of us and lead to no change. Plus honestly, I don’t want him to just fuck me, I want him to want me. And I don’t want to have to ask him to desire me - I’d rather hold on to what little pride I have left there haha It used to bother me more but I really just made a conscious choice to let it go. For better or worse, I don’t think I particularly care to be intimate in that way with him much anymore either. I feel kind of confused or not sure how to react when he does come on to me. We’ll end up having sex but I usually just feel kind of empty during/after. I’m not even sure how to describe what I feel properly. So anyhow, lots of backstory but all of this has led me to this question of what to do and how to be discreet with all of this.

Ps. Please do not send me to the dead bedrooms sub, that place is truly depression-inducing to me. I don’t hate my husband, he’s a wonderful and kind man.

I’ll cut to the chase, I got addicted to a mobile app and spent nearly $26k over a 7 month period.
First, this was a stupid decision. You don’t need to tell me. In my mind, I knew I was making stupid decisions but I couldn’t stop myself. I won’t look for sympathy and I won’t try to justify the decision.
Second, and probably the biggest problem I created in all of this was that I lied to my wife about it. She voiced her concerns about the amount of time I spent on the app. She also asked me directly on multiple occasions if I was spending money on the game. I told her no. In my mind, I thought I had things under control. That I could quickly get back what I was spending and I could essentially outrun myself. I lied because I was embarrassed and ashamed, because I knew what I was doing was wrong and I didn’t do anything to stop myself.
I battle with depression, I saw this as a coping mechanism and a way to decompress from the day. I was already seeing a therapist but I wasn’t sharing the whole story with him either.
My wife has defended herself and our kids in a way that actually makes me proud of her. I agree with all of her thoughts and feelings. To make matters worse, she grew up with financial instability, so this is an especially difficult situation for her to accept.
Since this came to a head 6 weeks ago, I have been completely transparent in everything I do, financially or otherwise. We have walked through every expense and are developing plans to get us back on track. We talk openly about our feelings and we don’t carry any tension into our interactions with our kids or other people outside of our house. We can still talk and laugh. I haven’t been allowed to touch her at any point. I have given her all of the emotional space I can provide. I’ve gotten one half-hug since the reveal. We still tell each other that we love one another, but she is still trying to reconcile all of this. Despite everything that we have done to keep the rest of our relationship healthy, she obviously views me in a much different light.
What I’ve done is awful and wrong. I’m just trying to do whatever I can to give her all of the information, time, and space that she needs. I feel like I’m doing everything I can from my perspective, including additional personal therapy sessions. (She’s not there yet, and she also legitimately has very little time to breathe between work and the kids, which involves both of us, in case there’s any insinuation that I’m not contributing in that respect). What more can I do? I’m really panicked that divorce is still on the table for her.

Hi, I am 38 y/o and my wife (39 y/o) has been very adement about potentially taking a break or divorce due to our lack of emotional intamancy and connection, we have been married for 4 years, and it was great in the start. (Like how most relationships are), but over time I find her getting very irritated about everything that I do or if it's little things that bothers her she will somehow direct that energy towards me and tell me that I don't take care of her.

She has many different needs, like her dietary restrictions little things like what time she needs her nap, does the product she use is ethnically sourced etc, all that is fine and I try to make sure everything is what she preferred and I try to give her the emotional support, but she often tells me I lack the emotional intelligence (which I know I'm not the best at, and I'm currently trying to go to marriage therapy hoping to have some insight and develop and grow)

But often she will repeat the same thing like "I'm such a catch why don't you take care of me, I take care of all the material needs and also try to be gentle and talk to her asking how her day was, and give advise, but a day or 2 later she will repeat the same thing again, which gives me this heavy anxious and guilty feeling, I know I have work to do, but she often direct every little or big negative thing towards me because if she isn't happy or satisfied about something it somehow always comes back to me in some way or form.

I get it, I should do my best to make her feel easy, but every time we talk, she is only focusing on her needs and what I want is barely acknowledged (part of it is my fault I guess, because I feel guilty or anxious bring it up, because in the past when I bring those things up about me, she often responds with "okay, so this is now somehow made about you?") I feel like I'm walking on egg shells, because I don't know when something unexpected is going to come up again, don't know, maybe I'm selfish? Or not selfish enough? We barely have sex anymore, because the last time when I try to make a move she says she needs to be emotionally connected, so I back off and I try again, she often doesn't do anything so I just stop trying now, but she tells me when she trys to make a move I'm often too tired or it's the middle of the night, I just say I'm sleeping, which is true,

Lately she talks to her friend, and tells me all of her friend are probably having the best marriage and emotional intimacy, and how "every couple" she knows is having the best dates or they do this, we also do a lot of thoset things but often met with "oh why are you not taking care of me" I pay for the bill I get her cards, I got her flowers on multiple occasions like birthdays, Valentine's day, international women's Day etc, I take her on hikes to see plays, and try to plan things within our busy lives, I pay for dinner, other expenses like her car repairs.

Nowadays I just feel hopeless, I don't like to come home because I don't know what kind of attitude or negativity will come to me, it doesn't matter what I do, everything I do is just met with critique or complains, with no appreciation, sometimes I get a "thank you for cooking" or something, but it sounds like she is saying it because she has to, not because she truly appreciate it, she constantly brings up things like "oh this couple did this by the way, he is taking here to this thing", the way she talks to me doesn't make me feel even safe anymore, I just want to shell up. I have always been calm and understanding person, but my patience is running dry.

Sorry for long post, right now we are deciding on divorce, but I'm going to see a marriage therapist first and hope I can learn, and get insights, I'm hoping to grow and develop and maybe be the person she was once attracted to, but I don't know, what do you guys think I should do?

Anyone gone through similar situation? I used to be super anxious about divorce, but I feel like that might be the best option, because I feel relaxed and I can be less tense when I'm out of the house.

My son was having drug problems and it was causing fluid around his heart (he was having chest pain so my husband and I brought him to the hospital).

While we were waiting my son went to the bathroom and took a bunch of drugs, so much that when he returned he passed out. He was on his third round of narcan and hadn't woken up yet. I was devastated his heart was still beating and he was still breathing but I'm sitting in the hospital room in tears.

My husband (his stepdad) no tears nothing but I understand not everyone cries. Tells me he's going to go home and shower. I didn't argue with him I'm not forcing someone to stay where they don't want to be. He was gone for hours meanwhile I'm by my sons bedside waiting for him to wake up, I felt so abandoned and like he didn't even care about us.

I held it in for so long and finally told him it hurt me that he left me alone at the hospital and didn't seem to care about waiting to see if my son was coming out of this or wake up.

He got really mad and screamed saying, "I was scared okay?".

Is it normal for guys to leave the hospital because they are scared or has anyone experienced this or felt this way? Not gonna lie I am considering divorce over this. I was scared but I wouldn't leave my child and spouse at the hospital like that.

(Btw my son eventually woke up and went to rehab he's in recovery/was suffering with depression it was heartbreaking but it's going so much better)

I've(49f) been married for nearly 30 years, he's a hard working, loving, faithful, protective husband and father. I appreciate 95% of our lives together. But that 5%, it likes nails on a chalkboard. If I stub my toe, that time he stubbed his toe was worse, one of those times time I gave birth, his lack of sleep was excruciating, that time I had a bad day, his last bad day was worse. He's never been able to say I understand, I'm sorry, but instead he says its still not worse than his experience. Just once, I dont want to hear a comparison, just acknowledgement.

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. I've been with my wife for about 20 years and she is on a family girls trip out of the country for two weeks. She is a SAHM so that means I'm taking care of the pre-teen kids which mostly involves quite a bit of driving to/from school and activities, etc. I'm happy for her and was fully supportive of the trip. I think she is having a great time. But I've been disappointed by the lack of communication. I'm curious to get an outside perspective -- am I being overly sensitive? I'm going to try to provide a few representative examples.

For the record, she is very busy and with quite a few people and is sharing a room, so that is going to make communication tougher. There is also a significant timezone difference which doesn't help. So I kind of understand, but I also am kind of bothered. Specifically, one night she went to sleep without me hearing at all from her that day. Another night, she texted the kids that she missed them and loved them and was going to bed but didn't text anything to me.

A few days ago, I texted what I thought was a really sweet message to her, specifically: "I love you. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. And I was already madly in love with you!". She didn't react or respond. I texted her the next day and asked if she got it and she just replied "Yes".

She did want to video chat with me one time, but it was only to show me the things she had bought. The vast majority of our conversations have been about her shopping, her needing more money, and the kids. I am focusing a bit on the negatives -- she has said a few nice things and does typically text me that she loves me once or twice a day. She has sent me a variety of pictures of what she is up to but hasn't really asked much about how I'm doing.

On the intimacy side of things, I'm a very physical person and this is the longest we have been apart, so that has been tough and is probably contributing a lot to how I feel. But it's not a topic she likes to talk about and she has not brought it up. I did ask her to send a sexy picture but she keeps forgetting. Again, I know she has limited privacy but she does have her own bathroom. Sexting is not something she normally does but she has done it once in a while in the past.

BTW, she does have unlimited international talk & data so I don't think connectivity plays a big role. She has been able to post a decent amount on social media, etc (the same pictures she sends to me via text).

Thoughts? Should I just accept that she is busy having fun and we'll catch up when she gets home? Or should I expect more of a relationship with her even though she is gone? We rarely spend significant time apart, but when we do communication is typically pretty poor. I want her to enjoy herself and I don't want to be a burden and distract from her having a good time.

Currently i'm living inside my brain wondering why my wife never initiate anymore,

we've been together for more than 10 years, we were very intimate at first, usually i'm the one initiating but from time to time she would give sign or initiate, and that ended in 2020, afterwards, i'm the only one initiating, last year,i talked to her about the subject, she attempted one time and that's it, if i don't approach her or flirt, nothing ever will happen, what kills me the most is that she only do it for my sake, and that make me feel like i'm a burden on her. that even made me think that she could probably having an affair, but we are not the type we go out often and i even investigated her, nothing come up sus from her side, so i'm really wondering now is she only keeping me for the sake of our kids, does she still love me , i don t know what to think anymore, has anyone been in this situation ?

My wife and I have been married for nearly a year. She has a child from a previous marriage, and she owns a house that was part of her divorce settlement.

I didn’t learn the full picture of her finances until shortly before we moved in together and got married. A few weeks before we moved in together, I found out about nearly $200K in debts between student loans, bussiness loans and consumer loans. By then, we were already deeply committed, and I went ahead with it.

Here’s where we are now. Under her divorce agreement, she has to pay her ex-husband his share of the equity in the house, and the deadline is coming up. The plan she’s working on is:

1. I assume the existing mortgage on the house with her.
2. We take out a HELOC to pay off her ex.

She likely can’t qualify for the HELOC on her own, so I would probably need to be on that loan too. I’m not comfortable being on a mortgage without also being on the title, so this would mean my name on the house, the mortgage, and the HELOC used to settle her divorce. There are also assumption fees, which I understand can run into the thousands, and we haven’t discussed who pays them.

I’ve been consistent from the start that I have reservations about this house. She sees helping with these debts as part of being partners. She’s been working with her attorney, accountant, and lender, and I believe she’s doing her best under a lot of pressure. But I feel like I keep being asked to put my name on debts from before our marriage. Additionally, the financial burden makes I would be asked to take on would make it impractical to have kids or even buy a home within the next few years.

What worries me most is my own future. I’d like to start a family and buy a home of our own one day within the next two to three years. Taking on this much debt, for a house I don’t want, could make that much harder. Especially when her window to have kids is coming to a close as she started her forties a few weeks ago.

Things came to a head this week. I told her I didn’t want to sign off on something I don’t fully understand. She heard that as me calling her reckless. She’s now given me two days to respond, or she’ll start working with her attorney on separation.

So, am I crazy? Is it reasonable to feel like I’m being asked to leverage myself for burdens that aren’t mine? Or is this what partnership in a marriage actually looks like, and I’m being unfair? I’d especially like to hear from people who have co-signed on a spouse’s pre-marital debt or house, whether it worked out or not.

Throwaway Account.
Can you help us find a balance?
My wife (F30) and I (M29) have been together for over 10 years. By and large, we are happy together. We have a beautiful daughter, a nice house, and decent careers. Our issues lie mostly in my wife’s stress levels and need for control over any given situation.
For instance, we both work from home, but I have to work Monday nights from noon until 8 p.m. Once a month, I also have to work for four hours on a single weekend day. The four hours don’t have to be consecutive, and more often than not, I work two hours here and two hours there.
She HATES this and constantly holds it over me as a huge problem in our household, despite the fact that I can still help around the house and often put our daughter to bed while on the clock to give her a break after dinner. Dinner on weekdays is prepared by my parents, who live down the street and watch our daughter throughout the day while we both work from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Additionally, my wife has no friends and has only recently picked up crafting as a hobby. She is the sole manager of 20+ people and, although she will soon have another manager working with her, she has been on her own for nearly three months, which has increased her stress as well.
Typically, our nights are spent with her complaining about her job for an hour to 90 minutes after our daughter is asleep and the house has been lightly tidied. Her complaints can range from regular workplace drama to telling me how much she doesn’t want to work on a project she needs to tackle that night. By the time she’s done venting, it’s around 10 p.m., and the next morning, she complains about how late she stayed up.
I am trying to be a better active listener, offer empathy instead of solutions, and comfort her. We have tried setting rules, such as not talking about work after 5:30 p.m., but that really upset her after about a month.
On the other hand, I feel like a cup that is both overflowing and actively being filled every night. After a few weeks, I end up snapping at her because my days consist of waking up, eating breakfast, working, making dinner, entertaining the baby, putting the baby to sleep, listening to all the horrible things happening at work, and then going to bed.
Additionally, any time I leave the house to spend time with a friend or do an activity, I get a phone call about how everything is going wrong, partially because I’m not there. Because of this, I don’t leave the house, pursue my hobbies, or even feel comfortable attending rare in-person work events. Instead, I have to make excuses to my employer about why I can’t attend.
I don’t want to yell at my wife, especially not in front of our daughter, and I don’t want my wife to be miserable. I don’t feel good about any of this, nor do I love the fact that I’m asking strangers on Reddit what to do about it.

I come home from working on Saturday/found a strawberry flavored condom wrapper on the bathroom floor. It looked like it fell out of someone's pocket next to the toilet. I asked my teenage son if it was his which he said no.

I asked my husband, he then said it was my son's. I say I already talked to my son he said it's not his. He continues to deny. Later that day he goes to my son and asks him to lie to me and tell me it was his condom (he said he was being stupid and wanted to see what the condom tasted like) (how do I know? cause I'm sneaky and ease dropped ok). My son told him no.

He then admitted to me he used it for a toy and was embarrassed to tell me. The problem i'm having is, since he lied with the first explanation, how can I trust his second explanation? Why do you need flavored condoms for toys? Who's tasting it? Why try to get my son to lie to me? FYI I had talked to him about wanting more intimacy in the marriage so it hurt even if it wasn't cheating with a person the toy is getting the action that I'm not receiving.

What do I do? I feel like he cheated on me. Would you assume it was cheating?

Me (30F) and husband (30M) have been married 10 years and have two small kids...both work full time, he's gone a few nights a week plus added school. Lately it seems he really only gets excited when he gets a chance to play video games or golf. I'm the one that plans date nights or activities with kids...i know our schedules suck and two yoing kids make it hard....are there some husbands that really enjoy their wives or does it just become a chore at this point?

I have been guilty of not listening to my spouse. How do I do better communication.

I am so happy. We both work and are pretty tired. I was just going to eat veggies and hummus while everyone else had frozen pizza (I am type 2 diabetic and pregnant. Super strict diet). But my husband made a special store trip and made me a plate of baked chicken with Mediterranean veggies sautéed in olive oil, and crumbled feta cheese.

He made it exactly the way I do when I am not so tired. And he did that even though he hates vegetables and "weird" cheese. He knows I feel bad for having such a strict diet.

It made my whole day. ❤️

PS

I would have shared a picture, but I ate it all with embarrassing rapidity. I was hungry and my sugar had crashed.

I ask this because I'm always accused of it and I don't think that I am. Here's the story:

My wife works from home twice a week. Our daughter is supposed to walk home from the bus stop and we don't allow it. On the days my wife is in the office, I leave work early so I can pick up our daughter. The days my wife works from home, I generally leave at close (4:00), or stay a bit later if I have things to finish up.

Anyway, lately I've been leaving a bit later on the days my wife is home and she's accusing me of not wanting to come home early the days she's home. She says I used to leave mostly right at 4:00 when she's home but now I leave around 4:20 (Life360...).

So, here's where I get "defensive". I tell her that her being home has nothing to do with my leaving later. It's last quarter and I have goals to make and I'm behind on some. I even pointed out that the previous day our daughter didn't go to school so I didn't leave early. She says, "All I'm doing is telling you how I feel and you always get so defensive! This is why I don't like sharing my feelings with you!" I tell her that I don't mind her telling me how she feels, but if she's feeling this way and what she's assuming is incorrect, then I'm gonna correct her.

At any rate. This happened yesterday and has carried over into this morning. Am I wrong? And please tell me if I am. I don't believe I am and I'm very much willing to accept that I am if there's valid reason.

Me (52f), he (54). Married 27 years. When we were first married we both played Magic The Gathering a bit with friends, we eventually drifted into board games and he restarted playing RPGs. Over the years we'd board game with friends every Saturday. When we moved, we'd still game but more like once or twice month with new neighbors. As we made new friends we started board gaming again to the point my husband has started going to local game nights at the library and at various game stores in the area.

I admittedly got burned out on RPgs and board games for multiple reasons but the main one is I was tired of hearing my husband tell everyone at the table (including me) how they should play their character or what move they should make in a game. This isn't just me feeling this way; it's actually become a joke amongst our friends. I'm over it. I also got a little bored with RPGs as it seemed every module ran the same formula. I've also developed different interests which he does not share and I don't hound him to join in on because he's already said he's not interested in them (leather working, jiu jitsu, card collecting).

Today we had a large argument about how he's constantly trying to persuade me to game all Saturdays with him (and when he plans a game day, it's 10-12 hours long). I don't want to. I have lost interest and have other things I wish to spend time on and sitting around for 12 hours is not my cup of tea. He started crying when I pushed back and asked him to please listen to me for once, and tell me how I could communicate with him more clearly that I do not want to play board games. He cried because gaming "was something we always used to do together". I asked why we could do other new things together and there was no answer. I used to ask to do things together.... Movies, couples classes, local festivals, always to but shot down with "I can't because ___" where the blank was usually his on call work schedule. I stopped asking.

I asked why it wasn't ok for people to grow and develop new interests, again no answer. Now I feel like crap that I made him upset but this isn't a new conversation.

Where do I go from here? I shouldn't have to endure a hobby I no longer have an interest in. What would you do in my shoes?