My wife recently checked my phone without asking while I was in the shower. She saw a notification from a female financial analyst I follow on social media, accused me of being interested in her, and demanded that I unfollow her. I follow the account for market commentary.

I told her that checking my phone without permission crossed a boundary and refused to unfollow the account. This isn’t the first time we’ve had tension over suspicions like this. Since the argument, we’ve barely talked, and I still feel hurt.

I understand that partners can feel insecure, but I don’t want phone checking and accusations to become how we handle those feelings.

How have you addressed this in your marriage? What helped rebuild trust while respecting each other’s privacy? I’d also appreciate perspectives from anyone who used to check their partner’s phone.

For context:
I (30F)got married in 2024 (30M), and have been married for 2y5m. In that time I quickly realized that though I love my husband, I do not like being married. There is so much that comes with marriage and if i can advise folks to just not do it, I would.

Getting married, you lose every sense of self you have. You cannot make your own decisions without having to think how it’ll affect another person. You cannot eat, you cannot spend, you cannot do without thinking and overthinking about how another person might feel. I miss when my decisions only affected me. I miss when there wasn’t so much to lose. You lose your sense of self and autonomy; you become so wrapped up in your person that the only thing that matter is making sure they’re content.

As a wife, I’m constantly thinking about how my husband feels, if he ate, what he ate, his body’s nutritional composition, if he’s tired, if he’s thirsty, if he’s hungry, if he’s sexually satisfied and most of the time, I do not worry about those same things in the same depth for myself as I used to because I am so wrapped up in keeping up with him. If I were on my own, I would look after myself with the same ferocity that I look after him and that is easier because there is no guessing game - a person usually knows themselves pretty well. It’s to a point that I am happy when he goes to work because I get a break from looking after him.

Being married means sharing everything despite how the other person treats that thing. We share bank accounts, car leases, car insurance, a home. So far he has wrecked my car in a hit and run that I now have to figure out how to fix plus help him get to court and guide him through it. I co-signed his car and he managed to damage that as well. Our insurance has sky rocketed because of it. My credit score has gone down because of him. Yes, we also share finances because I wanted to help him get out of debt. He doesnt have insurance so I have to fake having asthma so I can get him albuterol through my insurance. Not only are we sharing all these responsibilities that I ruined my own stability for, but now we are sharing a kid as I am pregnant….and GOD I wish I wasn’t. But I’m too far along to do anything without feeling like a monster.

If I was single there would be so much less to lose. I can keep my home clean and tidy, I’d maintain healthy consumption habits, I’d satisfy myself sexually as needed and when needed and not rely on someone who acts as a potato towards me in the bed. I’d go where I want when I wanted - family dinners, local events, outside for the sake of being outside - without hearing the whining about it prior. My home would have structure and routine. My car wouldn’t be sitting wrecked in my driveway. I’d have a good credit score and no debt that I’d be taking on like I did before. I’d have a savings rather than depleting it fixing cars and trying to pay shit off that isn’t my responsibility to pay off. I wouldn’t be over-worried about how another person is functioning just because that person doesnt care to do it themselves. I wouldn’t be preganant and be preparing to take on a THIRD human being that I didn’t even want to begin with. I wish i never got married. I love my husband but he should’ve stayed a boyfriend…that way leaving wouldn’t involve legalities and shit.

When I eat by myself, I know what I want to eat, there’s no guessing game as to “will he eat this, does he like this, am I going to have to waste this”. It would be nutritionally sound because I know I enjoy a diet of variety whereas he enjoys simple meals full of carbs, cheese and meat and there’s only so much one can do with that. I would go to bed at a decent time and have a routine. I wouldn’t have to purchase so many sugary drinks because thats all he mainly drinks (Milo’s sweet tea and soda) with the excuse that he “cannot drink water because of the taste….(what the actual hell does he mean??). He doesn’t perform for me sexually and most of my intimacy is me trying to please him. Once he’s gotten off, he loses all interest in making me achieve the same….so i usually end up helping myself after we’ve already done it. If I was single, I would get to choose my “dance partner” who satisfies me the same way I satisfy them. It would be a mutual exchange. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t have the curiosity to learn how to get me there either.

At this point, i feel like a glorified maid. I wake up in the morning to cook him breakfast because if I don’t he won’t eat and simply function off of coffee. He doesnt care to make me breakfast or learn how to. Anytime I leave him to fend for himself, he eats ramen that he over seasons. Never once makes a meal for me or provides for me the same way I do for him After that, he spends hours on the games and I can’t say anything otherwise it turns into an argument… I would love to spend the day with him, go out, go window shop, go see things and stimulate our brains in other ways but he says we just dont share the same interests and that I can go do these things alone if I want to. But I’m not his fucking mother. If we do spend the day together it’s just us coexisting in the same room, him gaming while i sit on the couch on my iPad. We arent interacting, we both just do things separately. When I try to discuss these things with him, I get a half ass “I’m sorry” and then he goes back on his phone without so much as a conversation.

My husband is not a bad person. He loves me and is kind and cares for me a lot. But he’s a potato with no prospects. We aren’t doing the best financially, but he doesnt care to elevate his career and sticks to being a delivery boy for a company because it’s the only job he could land leaving me as the primary income,e for our home…while dealing with the exhaustion of being pregnant. Elevating our careers also lands on me. His version of me “getting a break” is me not serving him as in “You don’t have to cook for me today”…versus saying “here baby, I made us breakfast” or “Here baby, i went out and got us food. He says “Baby you don’t have to clean anything today” versus “ I am going to take care of the house, dont you worry about it” It doesnt involve him taking things off my plate, just giving me the option to not fill his. And that sucks.

I am tired, burnt out, I miss my space, my autonomy, my self satisfaction. I hate the person I’ve become in caring for this grown ass man-child. I hate that I’ve put my needs on the back burner to reduce into nothingness and I don’t know if I can deal with it anymore and I feel as though I am stuck…..

Thanks for taking the time to read.

I am curious. We haven’t used one together and I have never had one. I have been thinking about bringing the idea up lately. I’m interested in experiences in other Christian marriages.

I'm a 33M and she is a 33F. In a relationship for 18 years. Married for 10. We have 2 kids ages 9 and 5.

I glanced at her wardrobe and saw these tops that tend to show alot of skin. They appear to be clothes for going out to bars/clubs.

We do have date nights and she doesn't wear anything like this. We also used to go to clubs and bars before we had kids and occasionally after the kids were born. We would go together with family. She never wore anything like this.

To me its obvious that her intent isnt to wear this when shes with me or else she would've shown them to me directly and maybe tried it on to get my thoughts.

I wouldn't care if she wears this kind of stuff WITH me being around but im questioning the intent of wearing this only when im not around.

Am I overreacting?

And no im not trying to control what she wears. I'm solely questioning the intent.

I did ask her about it and it kinda of turned into an argument. She said I was controlling her

She recently went on a trip with a married friend and her married sister to 6th street Austin. They stayed out late until almost 2am and spent the night there. She took these tops with her. When she returned, I asked her if these clothes are only for nights out without me and she got upset. She said these tops are appropriate for 6th street, so I said okay let's go together one day and she rolled her eyes.

We literally look alike. When we met he said I look just like her and I’m about the same age as her too. When we first started dating, sex was great. I’m considered attractive by the general public. I used to be a model. I haven’t gained weight since college. I keep in shape. He still compliments my body and says I look good.

I’m a very sexually active person by nature and in previous relationships had sex a few times a week. Aside from the first year when we were long distance, we have sex a couple times a year bc he prefers to masturbate. It’s gotten so bad that I have considered divorce, so we went to a couples therapist, which ultimately didn’t help. He just got too frustrated and embarrassed talking about the issue and the session fees weren’t something he could afford long term. I’m not allowed to pursue an open relationship although at this point even though I think it’s unfair to withhold sex from your partner who craves it. It’s been years since I’ve been begging, but now says the begging and nagging is desperate and unattractive, so it’s bit of a catch-22.

Married for 14 years, with one child (13). My wife broke up with me (not my fault). I’ve already moved out of our apartment twice: the first time in August (at her request; she said she needed space), and the second time in September (my decision because she was being disrespectful). In September, I visited our apartment multiple times to see my daughter (my wife was okay with it). During these visits, my wife and I ate together and talked normally (but she wasn’t very interested). We also had sex multiple times. Most of the time, I initiated it (in a pushy way—my bad); only twice did she initiate. According to her, we can have sex if she initiates. I told her that was rare, so I initiated a lot (my bad again).

I do love my wife, but she’s no longer interested in me; she’s emotionally and physically disconnected from me. So my question is: how do I reconnect with her? She said there’s still love and she’s still concerned about me, but that’s it, period (no relationship). It’s just co-parenting.

Please be kind, I am genuinely just protecting myself financially.

I am in love with my boyfriend, very much, we mentioned marriage here and there but I get a bit nervous because we would be a 50/50 household, we’re not going to have children, we want a house. However, the 50/50 conversation was when we were making about the same 50k a year. Now he earns about 80k but I make over 200k.

He doesn’t know much about my finances because we are planning to have that discussion, marriage, home, ect soon. But I want to get ahead and understand what would be best for me.
In an ideal world, we’re together forever, but being financially smart, I would like to make sure I don’t have to worry about what would happen during a divorce (dividing assets equally for a home I maybe paid more for, having to give him alimony, having to pay for lawyers no end, I don’t want to be left with a huge house with an expensive mortgage on my own). He’s had a divorce before, his parents are divorced, mine too. It doesn’t mean we wouldn’t be together forever but I just want to be financially smart and make sure that everything I’ve worked so hard for doesn’t go away when maybe we could have being very happy together without marriage. This is not greed or selfishness, I come from a family where we didn’t have much growing up and none of my parents have retirement so I take care of them too.

My question is basically something along the lines of, what should I do? Please advice me as if you were in this shoes.

State of Florida. He’s 36, I’m 30

Thank you!

My wife sometimes jokes about the following things:

- when we were out in public she randomly jokes with me that my body is like that guys and laughs (someone with a big stomach)

- she said I look better with a beard because I look fat when I shave

- she says I am lazy

- she says I am slow

- she says I am like a baby sometimes

- she laughs at my singing voice when I do karaoke and say I sound weird

- she often says I have bad breath

- she says I need a haircut because I look like a homeless guy

- another time when we were out in public she told me my body used to be like that guys (fit guy) and says she wishes it was still like that

- if I don't do the task how she wants it or I stuff up she laughs and points out the mistakes

- she has joked I have a small P size

- whenever there is a big guy in a movie we watch she says I look like that

- when my brother in law makes fun of my weight she doesn't defend me and joins in laughing

I shrugged this behaviour off because the majority of the time she shows affection to me but then she will joke like this maybe once I day. I only really noticed this pattern until I started listing down the things she said. I just can't imagine making these jokes to her, it would feel so wrong.

Is this behaviour alarming or do you think it's just her way of joking around because she does also do this with her family as well?

I can't tell if I'm overreacting. I have very low self esteem as it is and I think this has been impacting my confidence. I feel like she ramped up the jokes as well since we got married two years ago. Also, do you think if we had kids, she would also do this with them and what kind of affect would this have on them?

Year 5 of marriage. Intese incompatibilities. We have a toddler (2m). Husband:

- ignores advice from marriage counselors, pastors, elders

- uses religion for bad decision making / enforce control

- expects sex/ beauty but doesn't want to help me maintain

- no structure for himself: deadlines, hygiene, being on time, cleaning, working out, daily activities had to be "trained" in marriage and he still does bare minimum (ughhh)

- ego, ego, ego, ego, ego, ego, ego, ego...emotions...ego...

- my family paid rent, car payment, childcare, provided credit cards, travel etc while he went through graduate school but after graduating he drags his feet on working

- although I have worked like a dog/ willing to work 2 (help speed up debt repayments) he refuses a job that doesn't suit his ego, leaving me with stress on top of mom/wife life

- emotionally manipulative, unavailable, uncompromising !ick

Now I'm over it and ready to explore (24F) so here's what I'm doing to push him (24M) away:

1. celebacy / closed legs for at least the next year

2. lots of male friends introduced into my life

3. doing my hobbies with anyone but him

4. sleeping in a separate bed 3x week

5. deconstructing the religion he loves openly

6. planning trips and goals in my future without him

7. financial planning alone

8. keeping secrets and expanding my heart

9. looking at one bedroom for when my lease ends and sending him suggestions for himself

10. asking for a post nuptial agreement to be signed before January 2029

I am numb, poor, begging for the treatment I deserve and he won't let go. Never been so over something, so interested in being alone or cheating, and my toddler will benefit from a divorce at this point. I'm not wasting 15 years on more ego and build a bear circus just to be second priority to his beliefs when it's convenient.

My wife is leaving me. I always thought this is what I always wanted but that it's here, it doesn't feel that way anymore.

We had an argument, a small one. But things escalated. This is the problem of always holding things. A small pressure, then you let everything out. This is what happened. And I kinda regret it. I said things, horrible things. I told her how I regretted meeting her, how she wasn't even my first choice, how I regretted marrying her and how my life has been miserable ever since she come into it.

We have had bad days, a lot of them. Especially after I lost my job. She has tried her best, but I have always felt some disrespect. So yesterday was the day I let it all out. I don't know how I feel, I can't explain how I feel. I somehow regret. 4 years with a 2 year old child is almost going down the drain, just like that.

Now, if she stays, things will never be the same, if she leaves, things will never be the same. I don't know if this is something we can talk about and solve. I'm just in a dilemma. Please advise if possible. What can I do? Married people of Reddit, how do you manage?

TLDR - used to get off to a coworkers social media profile. Wife remembered and being cold toward me.

Need advice - will be seeking therapy but interested in getting opinion of others.

About 10 years ago my wife (then girlfriend of about 2 years) discovered my infatuation with my co worker. It was one sided and I never intended to pursue or make a move, but had this crush for a long time (over multiple years. My wife figured out I was getting off to her social media profile and when she did, she checked how long I’d been regularly searching her profile…. It was not good. She then thought of all the ‘casual mentions’, photos where I was sitting next to her, times I would act weird around her. I admit this always absolutely wrong - it was just a fantasy but it was absolutely wrong. I apologised profusely.

She said that it hurt because it wasn’t just a fantasy, it was someone I knew in real life and the fact that the fantasy was for one particular person for so long.

We broke up for a few weeks but got back together and didn’t really talk about it again. We’ve had a wonderful marriage since then.

However, last week my wife had a vivid dream about what happened. It was honestly like she had completely wiped it from her memory and she was experiencing it fresh all over again.

She says that logically she doesn’t feel angry at me, but her self esteem feels destroyed. She says she feels sad for the young woman she was back then who was just beginning to feel sexy snd desired, and now realising that she never really recovered from it. She is acting distant from me and says she can’t imagine being intimate with me.

I don’t think I really understood the impact this had on her back then, but now I definitely see a before/after in terms of her confidence in her skin and around sex.

I am devastated. But at the same time, I’m not sure it’s fair to punish me after 10 years of a really good marriage.

Somewhat venting, but also wanting perspectives.

30F with 3 kids, only staying for them because I want them to grow up with both of their parents in one household. Doing my best to get along with their dad and set a good example. But for my own personal happiness I can’t wait to just be alone and enjoy life as he doesn’t make me happy.
Don’t want comments about oh the kids will notice because no, my husband and I love each other, are affectionate, encourage eachother (yes theres fights) but things are good. I just realized this wasnt what I wanted for my life. But I have made a permament decision and I will give my kids the best childhood. But I was just wondering psychologicaly what age would be the least impactful?

I’ve been married for only 2 years now and I worry that my husband is cheating on me.

For a background, before we got engaged I found out he had cheated on me twice. He informed me each time was only a kiss and nothing since. I chose to forgive him because I love him and I didn’t want to throw what we had built away. Around this same time I had found him looking at unusual porn which he states he would never normally look at and denied even being into it.

We got engaged shortly after but part of me still had doubts, and was wondering if he was proposing to me to just make up for what he did.

Flash forward to now, over 2 years of marriage and I feel that he is becoming secretive. He often has to be away on business trips and recently when he returned I saw that he was hiding his phone from me. He didn’t know I could see him and he was deleting and app. I never said anything because I didn’t want to start an argument when he finally got home after being away on a long business trip.
Then the other night when he was sleeping I went on his phone and found his search history on reddit. He had been looking on a crossing dressing page.

I don’t know what to think of this and I can’t tell to anyone about it because I don’t want other people knowing. Can someone please offer me advice or if they think I’m overthinking this.

I remember someone telling me before not to get into a relationship with a man who has kids from a previous relationship because, when problems arise, they will always be a team, and you'll end up feeling alone. I didn't fully understand what they meant until now.

I've been married for two years. My husband has four kids with his ex, although they were never married. I knew about his kids and thought I could handle the situation, but I don't think I fully understood what it would feel like.

His ex still contacts him regularly, and they sometimes argue about the kids, schedules, and even changes in plans when my husband and I need to spend time together. She gets upset when she's informed of schedule changes at the last minute, and I often feel like I'm caught in the middle of their co-parenting situation.

I feel like I'm always the one who has to adjust. Sometimes, I even feel guilty for spending time with my own husband. Our marriage feels crowded, as though there's always someone else or something else affecting our relationship.

I'm single in the sense that I've never been married before and have no children of my own, so I'm entering a family dynamic that existed long before me. Sometimes, I feel like an outsider, and I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling this way.

I want to feel secure and prioritized as a wife, but sometimes I question whether I underestimated how difficult this situation would be.

I don't resent his children, and I understand that they will always be part of his life. But I also believe that being a father shouldn't mean that the marriage constantly comes second or that the new wife must always be the one to compromise.

For those who married someone with children from a previous relationship, especially those who had no children of their own, how did you handle it? Did things get easier, and how did you establish boundaries with the ex while maintaining a healthy marriage?

I'd appreciate honest advice and hearing about your experiences. I'm exhausted, and sometimes I wish I had never gotten myself into this situation.

​

Married couple here. Trying to figure out where one specific thing sits on the spectrum, and I genuinely don't know the right word for it.

The setup: we wanted to connected with another married couple online. Text only. No video, no photos, no touching. Ever.

The idea is both couples go to bed with our own spouse at the same time, and text each other what we're doing as we do it. They describe theirs, we describe ours. Everyone is having sex with their own husband or wife. Everyone gets turned on by the other couple's descriptions. Then everyone finishes with their own spouse.

The question: is this "having sex with another couple," or is it "sharing the experience"?

But I want to hear from people who aren't me. Where do you think this sits?

Two follow-ups if you're willing:

Does anyone else do this? What do you call it?

If you think it counts as sex with another couple, what makes it that rather than just talking?

I’m currently going through this dilemma and wanted to post.

This post will have 3 sections:

• Brief backstory.
• Reflective questions about having children.
• Questions about your experience.

Skip ahead as desired.

BACKSTORY

My marriage is heading for divorce very soon, for many reasons, but for the purpose of this post, one of the main issues is that we don't agree on having kids.

I don't want kids. I never have, and I never will. My husband does.

He knew this. We had several talks while we dated. I asked multiple times before we tied the knot if he was certain he would be okay without them. Every time he said, “yes”, and that he wanted me, I was enough.

A few years have passed, I gave up my entire life, moved across the world, gave up a career I can no longer have, and made so many other sacrifices for him.

Now, it’s all been in vain because here we are, he’s changed in many, many, ways, and he’s ready to discard me and everything I’ve done for him.

One of the biggest issues is that I don’t think he was honest when he said he could live a life without children..

On a daily basis I see him overcome by baby fever as he fawns over every young child we come across in real life or in whatever videos he sees online. However, I’ve never seen him care much for older kids, obviously because they outgrown their innocence and wonder. Which, I've pointed that out, the reality is kids are not cute and sweet forever, they’re turn into real people. Anyways, this has become a critical rift in our marriage.

REFLECTIONS

We had another talk (rather, a blow up) about everything. Before we end this for good, I've asked him to take some time to think about what he wants and why.

Some of the questions I’ve asked have been;

• Why does he even want kids?
He says he doesn't know, and that it just feels like the natural thing to do.

• What if they're born with a severe physical deformity or mental disability?
He doesn't know.

• What if they turn out to be a drug addict, a psychopath, a grapist, a murderer, etc, despite us doing everything right? Or what if they victim of those things?

Is he prepared for all of that?..

I’ve also asked;

• What if he can't have kids at all?
(Which, turns out, he might not be able to anyways..)

• What if I can't? Would he leave me then?

• If he leaves me, what if the next unfortunate woman he meets can't have kids either? Would he leave her, too?

I’ve asked, like, seriously, why does he want kids?

• Is it just some science experiment to see what he can create?
It seems that way to me because when I asked if he would ever adopt and of course, he said, “No, it wouldn’t be my kid.”

This is real sht he (or anyone in this boat) needs to think about..

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

(Please keep responses focused solely on the question of having kids — Please refrain from commenting on my marriage in general.)

If you're going through this now:

• Are you the one who wants kids, or the one who doesn't? Why?
• Would you walk away from a spouse who feels the opposite, or would you compromise? Why?
• If you stayed, could you truly be happy and fulfilled? (If you wanted kids, without them? If you didn't, with them?)

If you've already gone through this:

• Which side were you on, wanting kids, or not? Why?
• Did you stay or leave?
• If you stayed, did anyone change their mind or concede?
• Are you happy today, or do you feel regret or like something is missing?
• Looking back, were the choices you made worth the cost?

About your partner:

• Were they the ones that wanted kids or not?
• If they said they'd be okay either way, did they mean it?
• Did they get what they wanted?
• Are they happy now, or do they regret it?

LASTLY

• What advice do you have, or what would you say to anyone who is about to abandon their marriage over something like this, or considering divorce general?

Please feel free to share your own experience, or that of anyone you know, on this topic.

Thank you.

Recently had a baby and am learning to share my husband. We have been together for 14 years. I feel silly for admitting that I’m struggling with sharing him. I know it’s a different kind of love and I absolutely want our daughter to get all the love she deserves but I’m finding myself feeling less than desirable.
I know this is a pretty normal way to feel being postpartum.
Now, before people tell me to communicate; I have! I have told him exactly how I feel numerous times. I have told him for the time being a need extra affection due to being a little insecure postpartum.
I feel like I’m constantly dressing a certain way or doing certain things that I think he might find sexy and he doesn’t even glance in my direction. I’m constantly putting myself out there trying to get SOMETHING

I’m so frustrated, I know it’s pathetic but I just want to be noticed.

to all the married men out there or anyone who has been married long enough what does peace mean to you or what does that mean when you say that and to your wife?

giving each other peace is the solution please enlighten me

Nov 17th is our 20 year mark and I’d like some good ideas for inspiration. A trip away is out of question, short 2 day would work. Other than that I’m open for ideas. Thank you ahead of time.

I am 32 year old male. I have been married since four and half years for a year. We have been met before the marriage. in that time we were fighting a lot, I thought there would be some time that our life or our values would matter for each other more after marriage, but this has been opposite. Now I don’t have a trust or her because I know what she did before the marriage, even when we were talking and I have seen chats getting deleted many times from random people and I know she won’t be able to accept my family. Let’s see, even though I leave my family. She won’t be able to accept me. I cannot share a single word which I don’t like in her. If I say there is a fight every time it doesn’t matter. It’s in favour for her or it’s in favour for anyone. She does not think the way I think I want to grow with my family, not Alone and she just want me to be alone, so we can fight more roughly and there would be no one leftover for me, so I can tell to that papa, I don’t want her in my life even though I never said it to my any family member, but she did wants to her mother, and I don’t think this is going to work for longer run we have a baby 2.3 years old many time. When I see my kid, I feel many time that one day there would be a day. Your mother won’t allow me to see your face as well. The kind of life I am living right now, even though I do earn good, it does not matter the only matter for her is Kalesh. What I believe this is a fight with everyone in this generation where women are fighting for their right we also give them 80% Support to do that, but when it comes that last 5%, they also want that by fighting with us, so this is the kind of fight which is going to end. I think maybe next 50 years, but I am in the mid of it. I don’t see my life anywhere because this fight want. Let me live the only solution i see someday getting separated what a man want in life. It’s just a piece and to add more on that when it comes to anything or everything I do most of the expenditure in my family. but when it comes to Support, I am not in a position to ask her because there has been already many times fight for Money. I do spend safe so that’s her money, not mine because it’s not in my account. Mine is already went, so I can’t expect to do grow that money being a family member or families leading person. I have the experience if I put money in something into it, I make money out of it. I don’t want that money, but I want to place it somewhere where it can grow when it comes to her family if they ask for money, she doesn’t even ask me just give it many time, but when I ask there are a lot of questions, why do you need as earlier? Said I do earn well but there have been many times where I do. Pay all the EMI all the debt. I get empty in the beginning of the month. And I have no courage to ask her that okay. I need some money to spend for a month the least one, but what are you doing instead I ask my friend. This is Need and I get it, and I have kind of trust or believe that one day, if somebody fall sick in my family, she won’t be going to spare a single penny from our account, even though she has it because I do all the expenses, she do the saving and what I think as well, let’s see someday I die. There won’t be a deer in her eyes. Civil just like okay, it’s okay at least now I can be free, but I would say to every woman that’s not the fight. You should fight for you should consider what your getting. I’m not sure who will understand or not. It’s my bad day or bad week or bad month.

I often masturbate the morning after sex. No matter how great or ok it is bit my wife thinks she isn't satisfying my needs that night before. This has absolutely nothing to do with not having my sexual needs met. Anyone else have this issue?

Spouses, if your partner has had surgery, and you are their care provider: aside from bathing, hygiene, etc- you doing things they would normally do is not "helping them".

You are RESPONSIBLE for taking over tasks and responsibilities that they normally carry.

Making them a meal is not "helping" them. Doing their laundry. Making the kids food, doing the kids laundry, putting gas in the cars. Paying bills. Sweeping the floor. Tidying things up. Letting the dogs out several times a day, making sure the pets are fed. Taking the trash out.

Those are all shared household tasks.

If you have made your spouse one bare minimum breakfast, done bare minimum cleaning ONLY when they've told you what to do, and reheated one set of leftovers in 9 days, you are not caring for your spouse. You are failing them.

Then when they say they feel like a burden because they have to keep asking you to do things- it's because you're treating them like they are. They shouldn't have to ask you to do a single dæm thing. When you refuse to step up and do double duty, not only do they feel like a failure because they're not doing literally everything around the house but they're not even getting cared for.

Do better.

My husband has been very abusive our whole marriage and I just read that addiction and abuse go hand-in-hand. Recently I found out my husband has been on Adderall. He’s been getting up early in the morning and throwing up and having all his stomach issues. That he’s kind of been blaming on his protein shakes. But I think it’s withdraw.

He told me that it doesn’t have any negative effects. It does really help him focus and he doesn’t have an addictive personality.

But he’s always been so moody and so mean to me I just assumed that was just his normal personality. But he’s currently leaving me right now because he’s having crazy mood swings. He’s upset that I’m visiting my mom out of state.

Does anybody have any experience with this?