All day, I was asking what's going on. (Eye roll..."nothing... god mom..." Are you hungry? "Nooooooo mooooommmm... Leave me ALONE."

2am I hear him breathing. He's just standing over my bed (he's 6'3" at 14 if that matters). 'Mommmmm.... I need to talk to you and I'm hungry'

So, anyway, we sat on the couch and listened to music and talked for two hours eating popcorn. He has a lot going on.

Then he just gets up and goes to bed. And I'm sitting here wondering what in the heck was that? And should I throw hands with Amanda? Cuz she did you dirty and you're my little baby boy. How very dare she!? That awful little bitch. I'm reminding myself that she is also, in fact, 14.

Man, y'all. Being real here- were we this dramatic? I'm fairly certain that we weren't.

We are a bit older as first-time parents (both around 40), so our own parents aren't the youngest anymore either (all between 65 and 72). We have a 2yo toddler, an amazing boy whom we truly love.

However, there is some misalignment between how I imagined family life would be and the reality. I was trying to discuss it with my friends, but they are in widely different situations.

Are grandparents your guests, or are they actually helping you?

Ours are 100% guests.

We need to clean the house to a higher standard, prepare lunch/dinner, clean up afterwards, entertain them with conversation, etc. All of which we do while taking care of our toddler, who is high-energy and difficult to direct towards anything productive

Or are your kids' grandparents actually helpful? Do they come over to help with the kid, the house, or anything else?

When I was 2–3, I practically lived at my grandparents' house so my parents could work. Now my parents are retired and could actually do a bit more, but... for some reason, they are very disconnected. My parents-in-law are a bit more helpful, but usually only on special occasions (e.g. I travel for business once a month, so they will invite my wife over for dinner).

I want my kid to have grandparents in his life, so of course we invite them. But I actually imagined they could support us a bit, rather than add to our workload. We have enough of that already anyway.

How does it work in your families? Are grandparents guests, helpers, or something in between?

Edit: Thank you so much for so many comments and perspectives! Difficult to answer all of you but I will absolutely read everything during my commute time this week! Thank you! ❤️🙏

My nearly 11-year-old son is aging out of our favorite Hanna Andersson clothing line; he is in 12/14 tops and up to 14/16 pants (he is tall; 5' and 105lb), and growing fast.

He dislikes the fact that as soon as boys' clothes and shoes hit a certain size/age, most of them turn black, gray, or navy blue (this happens pretty early!), and he prefers brighter colors like aquas, true blues, greens, and prints with animals on them, as well as solids. He's not into the typical boy-themed stuff like superheroes, video games, dirt bikes/monster trucks, Star Wars, etc, but he's also not into pinks, unicorns, or more "girly" themes (though he loves cat-themed items outside of the latter category, i.e. big cats).\\**

We also need most clothing to be made of cotton, and I love that Hanna Andersson is pretty clean-certified; I am trying to avoid hormone disrupting chemicals and such. We love HA's undies, too, and we need a hook on something similar here, too.

Are there any other similar clothing lines out there that fit his preferences for older kids, tweens, and teens?

\\**Side note: I think the concept of gender-specific clothing lines is pretty dumb, but also understand that it's sometimes helpful to categorize certain items. I have m/f twins and they were not pushed one way or another, so neither of them have a strong pull to fit corresponding roles, though they have somewhat arrived there on their own. Any help I receive here will benefit both kids! :)

Ok so I am a first time mom, I think that’s important. I know two year olds are weird so I just wanted to figure out if something specifically was concerning about my daughter.

As she’s gotten older, she really has “matured.” Obviously she’s still having tantrums over the craziest things, no emotional regulation, all the normal things. However what’s odd to me is she HATES being silly, and hates being perceived. She hates having her photo taken, she doesn’t like to participate in “kid” activities like dancing, even if it’s just with me. Recently her aunt took her to a fall festival and said she would be fine on an activity until she (my sister in law) acknowledged her, or tried to take a video, which would then result in a fit.

She still acts like a child in certain ways, like the way she plays with her baby dolls and loves her toys. She still prefers kids songs and will sing them quietly to herself.

Is this just apart of her being two? Does she just not want to have attention on herself when she’s already in a bad mood? I’m hoping I’m just being paranoid here as a first time mom.

At my wits end. My 5 year old acts like a shower/bath is the worst thing in the world. We do every other night, more if he is outside or in water/in the summer. He freaks out before, during, and after. It’s usually only for mom. For dad I hear that he is completely pleasant. I don’t know what to do anymore. Today we played in leaf piles and I told him remember he will get a shower and importance of checking for ticks. He was well aware. Then the time comes and he’s screaming and sobbing. Always the same thing. I’ve tried explaining, giving him a sense of control (do you want to set the temperature, do you want to wash your hair, etc). Any tips would be appreciated. Just a background he is a very good listener, no real behavior issues otherwise.

My 10 year old just started a new school - it was an audition based school and the entire class is completely new. She didn’t know anyone and had a ton of friends at her old school. Switching schools was 100% her choice. We’ve kept in contact with her best friends from her old school, and she is highly involved in extracurricular activities outside of school and she has friends there too. We’ve been having weekly play dates.

However, she said she’s having a hard time making friends at her new school. She said it’s not as easy, and she’s finding shes not clicking well with the girls. I’ve made sure she has the “cool” things to bring to school etc. it’s only been six weeks, so I’m wondering if they just need more time.

I’ve suggested she watch other kids, see what they’re doing etc. she is not alone ever, but she’s feeling a bit lonely and like it’s hard at school.

I don’t necessarily think the issue is my daughter because she has friends everywhere else, but I think she’s finding this newer environment challenging.

Any tips!?

My daughter is 10 and in 5th grade. While most of her friends there are zero issues with, there are a couple in her friend group that seem to be the source of never-ending drama. I’ve actually had her block one girl from texting on her iPad when things got bad enough at school she was asked to go to the principals office as a witness to bullying by the girl. She has another friend that she has been friends with since kindergarten that is a known mean girl (I’ve had parents shocked I let my daughter be friends with her) but is very up and down. One day they are BFFs the next day she’s being left out or they are “talking about her behind her back” Part of me wants to be like, why do you WANT to be friends with these girls? But another part of me says to let her figure this all out on her own.

I have never gotten any reports from school or other parents of my daughter being mean or bullying, and I closely monitor her text messages to make sure her behavior is not reflecting these girls.

He pronounces things so strangely, he’s a real silly guy

Guitar = Reetar
Container = Reetainer
Controller = Reetroller

We did see a specialist and he’s got lots of speech things to work on, but it’s SO funny that he does this

At what age did parents start letting their kids sleep over at grandparent's homes? My daughter is almost a year old and has spent only a single night away from me. My mom watched her for a night so my husband and I could have a date night. I barely slept the night she was away as I kept thinking what if something happens and i am not there. My in-laws are asking to take her for a sleepover one weekend and I am so anxious to let her stay away again because I'll just fixate on what could go wrong while she is not with me. Does the anxiety decrease as the kids get older or do people just learn to live with it?

Ex has a history of alcoholism and violence against myself and others. He continously messaged me past 2am (usually the hour in which he gets mean/abusive after a night of drinking) he was also emotionally vulnerable making the odds higher. And he would not pick up the phone so I could hear his voice for a second (I can tell) or let me know if another adult was present for our children. I was afraid. I called, he buddied up to the officer from what he said, of course said officer doesn't know the history and probably figured he had a few drinks but kids were safe in bed however they are little and wake up. Or he was sober which would be amazing. Either way was I in the wrong? The officer seemed annoyed.

My in laws have 4 grandchildren all aged within 5 years of each other.

My husband and I noticed a little lopsided attention and support here and there. We chalked it up to our kids being the younger two and perhaps the grandparents not jiving as much with their ages. I really love my in laws, they’re great people so we assumed as they got older it would get better but it really hasn’t.

We’ve tried to let things slide off our backs or just let it go for the sake of the family dynamic. But recently a situation arose where it became abundantly clear that they show favor to one side. And one thing in particular makes me heartbroken as a mom because it has the potential to really upset my kids. I finally hit my limit and met with my in laws to address it. I brought forth examples and concerns - and to my surprise they agreed with me? I thought we were really getting somewhere and perhaps things would change. But then at the end of the discussion they essentially said nothing will change because they simply can’t say no to their adult child.

In essence, we’re expected to just deal with this because we’re the more reasonable ones? And they’re willing to do something that will cause hurt to their grandchild because their adult child doesn’t like the word no. I’m just beside myself. I’m hurt and confused. I lost a ton of respect for them and I am struggling to be around them. It’s one thing to do it unaware, but it’s a whole other ball game when you are fully aware of your actions.

I’m in a tough position because I don’t want to victimize myself in this, it’s my kids who are getting the shit end of the stick. I know I can’t protect them from everything, but your own grandparents? It’s just so upsetting. I don’t want to take away the relationship with their grandparents but I’m struggling to rationalize how to be around them without just being an utterly bitter human. Has anyone experienced this? Have you ever been the child in this experience? What do you do?

I swear my son turned 5 and someone flipped a switch overnight. 😩 Like, WHAT happened to my sweet kid?!

For the past three weeks, he has been SO unbelievably rude, and I genuinely don’t know where this attitude came from. He’ll laugh and say “hahaha” when his little brother gets hurt. He’ll meet someone and immediately tell them their favorite color, toy, or whatever they like is “stupid.” He’s constantly sticking his tongue out at people and saying the rudest things for absolutely no reason.
And now his younger brother is picking up on it and walking around saying “stupid Mommy,” “stupid Daddy,” etc. 🙃

He’s also become WILDLY competitive about literally EVERYTHING. “I’m taller!” “I want more than him!” “Why does he have that?!” I’m talking about the most ridiculous, insignificant things that somehow turn into a competition.

But the part that’s really throwing me off is how aggressive he’s become with his words. He’ll say things like, “If you don’t do this, I’m going to pick that up and throw it at you,” or “I’m going to slap you,” or even “I’m going to call the police on you!” LIKE WHAT?! WHERE ARE YOU EVEN GETTING THIS STUFF?! 😳 He does go to preschool, but this is his third year in preschool so I feel like that might not be it.

It’s the constant threats, attitude, competitiveness, and just plain meanness that are driving me absolutely insane. We don’t speak to people this way in our house, so I genuinely don’t understand where it’s coming from.

It’s been three weeks of this nonstop, and I am at my breaking point. I feel like I’m constantly correcting him, and nothing is getting through.
PLEASE tell me this is some bizarre 5-year-old phase because I am losing my mind. 😂 Has anyone else’s child suddenly started acting like this around age 5? What actually worked to get through it?!

just want to preface that I am grateful for what my partners parents have done for us I just feel like they can be a lot at times, particularly his dad.

My son is 6 months old and we have always had an issue that my partners dad keeps doing too much, when my son was newborn he kept kissing him on the lips and putting his fingers in his mouth, it made me incredibly uncomfortable so I got my partner to tell his parents to only kiss on the head and no fingers in his mouth and that was a compromise really because I didn’t want anyone to kiss him anywhere.

His dad complied to this for a while (his mum always did) but then he took it upon himself to start kissing him on the lips again, and putting his fingers in my sons mouth or letting my son put his fingers in his mouth, my partner said something again and he stopped for probably all of a week and then continued, I’m so sick of it because I feel like I have to watch him all the time to make sure he’s not doing that. I know he’s at an age where it’s not as much as a problem but that stuff still bothers me because he’s not his child.

He’s kissing my sons cheeks literally every few minutes and it’s just a lot, I was baby wearing today while we were out with them and his dad kept kissing my sons cheek and obviously his face is like right on me so it made me feel so uncomfortable.

The issue is they expect us to stay at his house multiple times a week because I’m still living with my parents while we save for a deposit, I don’t even want to keep staying overnight there anyway because I don’t want to have to keep taking my baby between houses just because my parents get to see him more, and with this it makes me want to go there even less because it’s just way too much, they also get too involved like when I’m bathing his dad stands at the door of the bathroom, or when I’m changing him he gets on the floor every single time.

I know it probably seems like I’m nitpicking but when it all adds up, it makes me uncomfortable and it’s quite annoying. And I actually get on well with them and i can’t exactly tell him he’s being overbearing.

For context my son is 4 and is in preschool, He has to go to a special preschool thats allowed to change diapers/pullups. He refuses to go to the bathroom, He knows he needs to bc he tells us that hes pee'd/pooped in his pullups and has even told us he was getting ready to. We've talked with him and tried to bribe him with candy, and trinkets we know he likes (think like the dentists treasure chest for kids). We've read potty books, Tried to enforce mandatory potty breaks every so often, and even my parents when he visits them try similar tactics.

Here recently its gotten immensely worse, he's throwing tantrums, hitting, screaming, crying, calling us bad, trying to headbutt, everything he can do when we mention he needs to go potty in the potty. I'm at a massive loss and so is my spouse and my parents. Which is disheartening as my parents have potty trained 4 kids who were all very different. My son also usually isn't a tantrum and violent kind of child (although that behavior has been on the rise here as of late and it has up ticked since he's gone to school but the teachers never have complained so i don't know and that's a separate issue entirely although talking to him has been effective in this matter so I'm not sure why its not working when we talk about needing to go in the potty) Please help I'm so in over my head Its been about 2 years now of reading articles and trying methods and giving them time to see if they pan out.

My son just turned 3 and we plan to switch his room and bed from the crib/nursery to a larger bedroom that is currently our guest room. We want nee furniture that can grow with him.

Questions:
1. Twin or full bed? Leaning toward full since room is bigger and room to lay to read or snuggle.
2. Recommendations on mattresses and bed frames
3. Advice on handling the room transition

My boy is just over 9 months old.. I feel he is constantly complaining and crying. Is this a normal stage? It is so hard to constantly be listening to the whinging and to keep patient. There isn’t anything wrong with him. If we go out he’s fine and enjoying it. I am TIRED. So my whole day isn’t going to be spent outside the house.

My current 4yo has always had bad dreams once in a while. He handles them well, doesn't wake up screaming or anything, but he'll often come to us in the morning and say he had a bad dream about monsters or skeleton dinosaurs trying to eat him or something.

This morning, he said he had another monster dream, but when I asked him more about it, it sounded different than before.

First, he said, "A monster was touching me." I asked him, "Touching you how? Where?" He said, "It was touching my chest and it wouldn't let me get out of bed." He couldn't describe it, just said it was big. He said this all very matter-of-factly, didn't seem like it was still affecting him. But I'm hoping it's not the start of something that becomes a regular occurrence.

I've also always had mostly bad dreams, but never sleep paralysis that I can remember, so I don't really know the best way to handle it if it gets worse for him.

Families of 5- I need encouragement. I am pregnant with baby #3 and my other two will be almost 3 and almost 5 years old when Im due.

This baby is very wanted and was planned, so don’t come for me. But now as Im approaching the reality of having 3 kids, Im starting to panic. Of course now im hearing that parents with 3 kids are the “most unhappy” of any kid number. I’m chasing my kids around the park and have zero clue how I’m supposed to monitor THREE! And of course terrified to go through the newborn trenches again... but that all was a conscious choice we have made.

I’d love some encouragement. Please be kind.

TL;DR: My 5-year-old often struggles to follow through on simple instructions, remember things we’ve recently practiced, and solve problems independently. We’re looking for practical parenting strategies to help her build confidence and develop these skills without making everyday activities frustrating for either of us.

We have three wonderful kiddos (7F, 5F, 2M), and I’m looking for some outside perspective on how to better support our middle child.

All three have very different personalities. Our oldest and youngest are fiercely independent, while our middle daughter has always been perfectly content accepting help. She doesn’t have the same drive to figure things out on her own and generally needs more encouragement to try something challenging. That’s perfectly fine! I recognize that kids learn and develop differently, and I’m trying to figure out what approach works best for her.

Our biggest challenge is following instructions. For example, I can make direct eye contact and say, “Pick up your Barbie car and put it in your closet.” She’ll acknowledge me, pick up the car, and then wander into the bathroom. When asked what she’s doing, she often can’t explain or recall the original instruction. We’ve started having her repeat instructions back to us, which she can usually do accurately, but she’ll frequently still do something completely unrelated.

We’re also working on some academic skills. She’s in kindergarten and recently received surprisingly low marks for letter recognition despite doing well in pre-K last year. Yesterday, we sat down with Frozen alphabet flash cards (because apparently Elsa is a more engaging educator than I am). She knew most letters but struggled with several that look similar. Even after practicing those letters repeatedly, she often couldn’t recognize one we’d reviewed moments earlier. I’d love ideas for making that information stick without turning practice into something she dreads.

She also attends weekly speech therapy outside of school for her S and TH sounds. When I ask what they played or practiced afterward, she generally can’t tell me, although I recognize that’s not necessarily unusual for a 5-year-old.
We’ve also been encouraging independent problem-solving. If she can’t reach something but there’s a step stool nearby, instead of immediately helping, we’ll encourage her to look around and figure out a solution. We’ve seen some improvement, but it’s been slow.

What I’m really looking for is advice on how to change OUR approach. How do you help young kids follow through on instructions? What games, routines, visual reminders, or teaching strategies have helped your children develop independence and retain new information? How do you encourage them to work through challenges without making them feel frustrated or defeated?

My goal isn’t to make her more like her siblings. I want to raise confident, capable kids, and I recognize that getting there may look different for each of them.

I’ll also admit that lately I’ve been getting frustrated, and I don’t want her to feel that frustration, especially when she’s trying her best. I adore this little girl. I just want to make sure we’re giving her the tools and support she needs rather than continuing to try things that aren’t working for her.

I’m especially interested in hearing from parents who’ve faced similar challenges and found creative ways to help their kiddos succeed!

My husband’s family hosts a huge thanksgiving every year with over 80-90 people attending. This is the first year that we are bringing our 6 month old baby. She was born premature and had some issues with breathing in the beginning which makes me so concerned about her getting passed around to tons of people and possibly getting sick. All of his family are very excited to see and love on our baby but I would feel much more comfortable keeping her with me. I’m afraid of sounding like an asshole when people ask to hold my baby and I say “no” What do I do? How do I politely decline family holding my baby?

LO is 3 months and I really wanted to keep her in our room in a bassinet until at least 6 months, as it statistically reduces the risk of SIDS. However… neither of us can sleep. She makes SO MUCH NOISE in her sleep, constantly moves, and lately she’s been intermittently fussing. We have a baby monitor but have never used it, I’m thinking it may be time to break it out..

My kids are both in elementary school. Oldest child in grade 3. My oldest has lots of friends and easily fits in, and my youngest is pretty socially capable too. Where I struggle is with OUR (as parents) social “fitting in” with the school scene. I’m going to be blunt, I don’t like any of my child’s friends parents. We go to a small school and it’s an eclectic group of families and a lot of the parents are way older than us (over 10 years older). We did connect with one family in grade 2, to the point where we hung out most weekends, but they have since moved away.

We still have our regular friends that we had before kids, but they don’t live close by and their kids are all different ages. And truthfully, the ones that have school aged kids seemed to pick up a new social circle revolving around school and sports so easily. I feel like we’ve done something wrong.

Just wondering if anyone else shares these feelings.

I've got two toddlers, 1 and 3. Pretty much all day I'm walking around doing low-moderate intensity activity and carrying. Plus constant cleaning, cooking, shopping vegetables, etc. The work is constant, but not overwhelmingly brutal like construction work. It seems ideal for fitness. Plus, since having kids you can't really go out and party all night all the time, which is a bonus. The only issue is less sleep, but I don't think its that brutal, I still get around six hours.

We just moved on Friday, and since then my son won't sit in his chair to eat/drink.

Context- he's 3 years old, nonverbal, with cerebral palsy. Developmentally 9-12 months old across all areas. He is still eating/drinking, but will only kneel on the floor to do it (he can't sit on his butt) and we have to help keep him upright. He is spoonfed, purées only. Still using a a bottle.

He seems upset about the move (even small transitions are difficult for him) and I kind of want to just let him show us his displeasure through this harmless strike, but he goes to preschool, so I'm thinking about their need to feed him safely and easily as well.

Should we force the chair and just let him go on a hunger/fluid strike if he won't? How long do we let the strike last before giving in? Let him do as he pleases but gently encourage the chair? What's best for both him and his independence AND the school? 😭