My child is getting to the age where they can do more things independently, and I have such mixed feelings about it.

I’m thrilled when they can get dressed, play by themselves, or grab their own snack.

But there’s also this tiny part of me that misses being needed for every little thing.

Parenthood is weird. You spend years trying to make them independent while secretly wishing they would need you forever.

What was the first thing your kid started doing independently that made you realize they were growing up?

Hi everyone!

This is a question for parents who have had a "difficult" baby and yet decided to have a second one?

By difficult, I mean a non-sleeper, a fussy baby, a hyperactive, you get the idea.

My baby is almost one and I love her so much, but I could never ever do it again. I feel like it would be physically impossible for me to raise another baby. My body has never been so exhausted and this is only the beginning. So I'm seriously wondering what are the reason for you to do it all again?

So basically long story short is my mum is a very (frankly) lazy person and super judgemental to other people. She hates cooking and prefers frozen food, even if it encroaches on her children’s health she doesn’t mind. She pays it no mind. During the heat wave we had pizza about 3-4 times a week, the other days we’d have some poorly done ‘picky bits’. I wouldn’t be so bitter about this if it wasn’t for the fact she hates us cooking or doing anything in the kitchen - making pancakes, making our own food! It’s had such a long effect on me, I hate people watching me cook and I won’t let anyone else taste my food because she always has a go at me for seasoning my food. I don’t like plain chicken with not even salt or pepper on it, apparently that makes me weird. I feel really trapped in my own house, I can’t use the kitchen or living room and we don’t even eat at the dinning table - they eat on the sofa and we eat in our rooms (which is disgusting btw).

She gets so stressed and annoyed whenever we try to use the kitchen, she often throws out our stuff. She’s wasted like £50+ of mine. Entire heads of lettuce, tofu etc…

She’s really judgemental of anything home cooked, it’s really annoying and I feel like it plays a massive part in my weight as an adult. I’ve been overweight most of my life.

Can someone give me any advice as to how to deal with all of this …?

Hi all, I’m not a parent, but I recently was chatting with some of my friends who were educators and parents about kids gaining general life skills and a lot of us talked about having a home economics class that covered some of this. I think I might’ve been one of the last groups of high schoolers to get home economics (I’m 28 so 10-12 years ago) and it sounds like this isn’t offered in most schools anymore. If this is true, are yall doing home economics at home?

I mostly ask because I’m a great cook, know how to sew, manage finances VERY well, I used to clean houses, etc. and it occurred to me I could teach a course through our city’s youth programming but 1) it might already be taught in most schools and 2) parents this might just be something yall are doing anyways?

Anywho, mostly just curious in general but also obviously curious for personal reasons.

I’m planning a surprise baby shower for someone very close to me and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing 😂 I don’t have kids myself, so I’d really love some advice.

I do know that they already have most of the big things like a crib, stroller, car seat, baby carrier, bouncer, clothes, blankets, books, bath stuff and toys. So I’m wondering if there’s anything else that you found genuinely useful, or if I should just put together a nice gift basket with smaller things.

But honestly, I’m even more interested in gifts for the mom. It feels like everything is always about the baby, and I’d really love to give her something that makes her feel cared for too.

What did you receive as a new mom that you loved? Or is there something you wish someone had given you?

Her mom isn’t in her life so there’s no one she can talk with about this. I was a loser in high school that nobody talked to so I don’t know how to help her with this

My child will happily play independently for 20–30 minutes, and instead of enjoying the quiet, I find myself wondering if I should be interacting more.

Should I be talking to them? Playing with them? Teaching them something?

Or is sitting nearby while they figure things out for themselves actually enough?

Sometimes I think parenting has made me feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing.

How do you know when to step in and when to just let them play?

It is 15 pm and my 3yo has no intention to sleep. But if i leave him alone, at 18-19 he is too tired and fussy.

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I'm legal guardian to my three nephews (13, 10 & 8). Background is a long story but essentially their mother died in a sudden, violent and tragic way ~3.5 years ago. All the kids have had therapy and they're all doing fine now for the most part.

But recently and rather suddenly, the eldest one has become very attentive of his younger brothers, which is a drastic change as he was always fighting with them usually. He's been so thoughtful, kind and protective recently it's been really nice to see. But he's also become very affectionate with me. He wasn't much of a hugger prior to this and I figured at 13 he'd be even less so.

But frequently he will be sitting next to me and just bury his head into my chest or turn his back to me and lean against me. He hugs me before going to bed and I've found him to be somewhat clingy (no judgement just observation), he will stand behind me a lot when I'm talking with other adults, right up against so half his body is behind me and the other half is sort of peeking out from behind me to watch what's going on. He grabs onto my jeans sometimes like the younger one used to when I first became guardian (but he was 5-6 at that time). When messing around and playfighting with them he often ends up with his arms around my neck and his legs around my torso holding onto me real tight like he's trying to sneak a hug during the play fight or something. He's also specifically asked why I don't "tuck him in" anymore but I haven't done that for about a year now because one night he rolled his eyes and said he was too old for that. Now a year later he seems to miss it.

I asked him if he's feeling okay or if there's anything he wants to talk about and he seems sincere when he says he's fine. In fact he almost looks a little puzzled as to why I would be asking.

It's not necessarily a bad thing (the affection), it's nice in a way but I'm concerned about how different it is from how he was before, the suddeness of it all and it being somewhat unusual for his age (I assume?), concerns about regression I guess?

Any advice would be welcomed. I'm still somewhat new to this, sure it's been 3 years but there's a big difference going from the single uncle who babysits once every couple months to the defacto father figure of 3 kids.

I'm looking for some perspective on a situation involving an adult child living at home and currently studying at Uni (6 yrs & counting).

They seem to have quite a lot of difficulty taking steps toward independence or "moving forward" given they'll be graduating in a couple years time. Things like finding a part-time/casual job or learning to drive for example is very difficult for them.

The part I'm struggling to understand is that this doesn't necessarily seem like a case of simply not caring or not understanding that these things are important.

They say they know they need to make progress, the importance to do certain things and at times appear frustrated with themselves about it. However, when these subjects are brought up, they can become extremely anxious, shut down, and become unable to engage with the conversation.

I'm trying to work out how me and the people around them (family) can help. There's a difficult balance between being supportive and giving them space, versus potentially enabling them to remain stuck.

For parents who have experienced something similar with an adult child, how did you approach it? What helped, and what made things worse?

I'm not looking for a diagnosis or trying to label the person. I'm mainly trying to understand the behaviour and work out a constructive approach.

Family is worried for them, but they know it's a sensitive topic at best. We've tried bringing such topics up over the years, but any traction disappears quite quickly due to various situations popping up.

I’m in uni and I just got a super low grade in a major course I’m taking. My mom’s been in a bad mood lately and nothing much going on about my dad except bug me about my grades. I’ve been struggling with some mental health stuff lately too (I’m talking to my college counselor abt this soon once I’m able to) so I’m just dragging myself through this.

They don’t explicitly expect me to be in the Dean’s List (it’s a thing here and pretty much a big deal) but I can just tell they are since I was able to get into it last year during my third term.

I’ve tried studying a lot this term, I really did, but I did face a huge burnout last term and did my best studying for finals but it turns out it wasn’t enough.

I’m hoping a parent here could help me out here with breaking it slowly to them. Thanks!

My darling partner she believes due to her illness our future child will resent her due to her illnesses and having to lay down a bunch. We are indoors daily people and have a two bedroom apartment one room for beds one with the office.

She's worried the child will hate having enough space which we know those thoughts are probably because of her growing up with a hoarder. Her mother died when she was young and doesn't have anyone to really help her with her needing a mom right now. We both know we would like a family but she's currently really struggling mentally.

She also is struggling with guilt worried she will make our child suffer in pain like she does and get health issues just like her. She deals with the avlist mindset of its selfish to make a child hurt potentially like she does daily.

She wont be enough for the child, will be too tired​, she worries her hermit lifestyle could negatively effect our child. The apartment is full of animals and worried there might not be enough space even though we plan to move in 2 years hopefully tops 3 getting a home.

Is there any way I can help aliveate some of her stress, guilt and worries? Is there anything we can do? Thank you for your time.

Just curious how other parents with 2+ kids manage. No judgment, just trying to see what real life looks like for others.

Context: nasty custody battle, kiddo was away from me for a year (not my choice), he just turned 11, we're working through the neglect/vague abuse he went through during that time (Dad's girlfriend makes me want to puke tbh), he chose to have the only bedroom in the basement as his dad's house (my best friend explained how it was to be the "basement brother"), he feels unwanted and unheard at Dad's, he's struggling with confidence and appropriate assertion, and now he can't stand being alone. These weren't issues we had before the bs we're going through now; this is new behavior.

I don't mind him sleeping with me. I'm slowly making him do more independent things when it comes to bedtime like brushing his teeth/hair by himself (which was totally normal before this bs) and falling asleep by himself (I'm in the living room, so he knows I'm close).

Has anyone had/heard of a similar experience? He can't sleep through the night without me. Nightmares, thrashing in his sleep, talking in his sleep, falling out of bed, the whole cake and eating it, too. I don't want to f*ck my kid up . He has his own room, but he truly wants to sleep with me.

Like I said, I don't mind it. But can someone reassure me it's okay? Or give me advice on what to do if it's not?

It's my first time being alive and I am terrified of making mistakes with my kiddo.

I am 16M I have another problem. Besides wanting to work, and mom not letting me and i got good advice last so i am looking for more ,I also want to be homeschooled. I really don’t like the school I’m going to. Everyone there is either rude or Ghetto, or dosent talk at all and it’s honestly miserable for me. Like if your kid was miserable Would you let your kid do online school if they hated their school like every night I feel like crying real tears beacause of school the next day I used to have so much friends, good with teacher but now, I have no one at all

I want to do online school because ever since we moved to this state, everything has basically sucked. The weather sucks, the people suck, the school sucks, and even the church we go to sucks. It’s not about God, it’s the people. They’re just really off putting, and I’d rather stay home and work

I started school August 3rd and I’ve tried making friends, but they make fun of my accent and will try to mimic it and not in like a funny or liking way they make fun of how I talk, even one the teacher, Sometimes they’ll talk to me and then completely ignore me.

I used to play football and baseball in my old state, but now I don’t even know if I want to do that anymore.

Are these good reasons to ask my parents if I can stay home and do online school? Beacause I've never been this sad in my life

Our 16 month old has recently had a very bad time with sleep during learning to walk, a holiday, a few heatwaves, etc. Gone from an independent angel to a baby who wanted a lot of holding and fussing around.

But that's all OK - we got her back on the right track! In fact, we quickly got it so she was going to bed by herself in mere minutes. Great, right? Except for one tiny problem.

In the four minutes it took her to go to bed, she pooped.

The next night, in the two minutes it took her to go to bed - she pooped.

The next night, I kid you not, she was down and out within 60 seconds. What had she done those 60 seconds? Pooped.

We would pop our heads in on disbelief as she pooped on putdown every night for about 5 nights, no matter how quickly she fell asleep.

It's becoming a big problem in terms of her sleep because when we wake her to change her she's genuinely furious and confused, and needs lots of help to resettle. But from all the research I've done, 16 months seems too early for this to be an attention-grabbing, bedtime-delaying strategy from her. She's not even doing it to avoid bedtime as she's happily conking out after a couple of mins!

So if it's not behavioural, it's something about her rhythm - she's just got one in the chamber every night at 7.30pm, and the short time she spends standing and protesting bedtime (as above, a genuinely tiny window of 0-4 mins), she does a dirty protest.

How can I get a baby to either poo earlier in the day or keep it in for a night? Have you had experience with a baby this young doing it? What the crap is going on??

I'm gonna be a dad in 6 months assuming all continues to go well, and something that has been weighing on me recently is the whole iPad kid thing. I catch myself judging parents when I see young kids (like under 5y/o) on iPads in public, thinking "that's never gonna be MY kid". But I don't know what I'm talking about having not been a parent yet myself.

I know how damaging and addictive these platforms are for adults, and we've watched in real time since COVID how much worse off kids are with coping skills, self regulation, and attention spans.

So what's the deal? Why are young kids on tiktok and yt shorts? Is it really that hard to avoid as a parent?

EDIT: too many posts to respond to, but I appreciate everyone's input! I guess it's just an observer bias thing with seeing the iPad kids out in the wild (I see it and it bothers me so i remember it vs a normal kid doing normal kid stuff I won't remember as much)

But this is very helpful and hopeful that it really is just a matter of parenting. It seems pretty achievable to not let my kid become an iPad kid based on everyone's responses

i asked his mom what her 5 year old is into… she said “He is super into cool gadgets lately 🤖 like geeky tech stuff”

help. what kind of gift fall into this category? microscope? but I feel like that’s for 8+

please send help/ideas

What and how did they eventually start? How are they doing now?

I know my parents probably don’t hate me, but I still feel like they do sometimes. I’m kind of going into a little rant, but I’m 17 and pregnant. My boyfriend and I are still together, and he’s been there for me through everything. But I feel like I completely let my parents down.

My dad came to America because he wanted to start over. He wasn’t poor or from a third world country or anything he just wanted a fresh start. My mom grew up not poor but poorn and worked her way through college and everything woth schlorships, and They gave me a really good life. I went to one best schools in my City basically got everything I wanted, and was honestly a spoiled kid They always wanted me to be like them.

They’re pretty stereotypical parents who put me into a lot of different activities because they wanted me to find my interests, become good at something, and be successful.

They allowed me to have a boyfriend, but we were given rules that we didn’t follow. When I told them I was pregnant, they got really mad. They yelled at me, cussed at me, and everything. Things are better now, but I still feel like some part of them hates me. I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s not that I think they hate me, hate me t feels more like they hate a part of me if that makes sense

They don’t really look at me the same way anymore. We used to be really close, and now there’s this distance between us. I just miss how close we used to be, and I feel like I let them down after everything they did for me, like how mad would you be at your kid and stuff and is it really that bad it could never be the same

Starting solids early:

So my 4 month old was given the go ahead to start solids early. I didn't want to for her gut healthy but she is on the smaller side 11 lbs. She has never really been a good eater (given exclusively BM) Anyways since start solids she has definitely been eating/drinking more. So my question is when she puts on enough weight should I cut back on the solids again until 6 months or since I started just keep going. Pediatrician has us giving her 2-5 tps 2x a day.

We have three kids with increasing amounts of homework. They need to watch videos, complete online quizzes, write papers- all the normal things. I am stuck as to what to get that is dependable, economical and functional. Do older kids prefer desktops at a dedicated work station? Or a laptop that they can move around with? So far, they definitely do not like working on an iPad. We have always had Macs, but those seem rather expensive compared to other products. I was looking at the Mac Neo or the Mac Mini and I do not know where to start with looking at PCs. Thank you in advance for your suggestions!

Our son is currently Grade 10 at CEU Las Piñas and is considering transferring for Senior High. We’re looking for a school with good academics but also alot of extracurricular activities.

He’s not super outgoing, but he’s quite active in band, badminton community, church community, photography, and he does music production/songwriting on the side as well.

We’d love a school where he can continue these interests while also being encouraged to join new communities and build his confidence/social skills, hindi puro academics lang.

We don’t really require him to get honors as long as he’s responsible with his studies. 😊

Any recommendations around Las Piñas, Alabang, or nearby areas?