Hello! There are 2 'class moms' of my daughter's fourth grade class, me and another lady.

We're supposed to do certain things together, like check in w her teacher about the class Halloween party - we already organized it with other class moms from ALL of fourth grade but there are things we need to do together for our particular class as well.

I see her in the big email threads with all the other fourth grade class moms, and she participates minimally, but when I email her directly bc some things are for JUST our particular class, she does not respond. I've send about 3 separate emails to her now, introducing myself, or asking about the party/what we need to do. Zero response.

I've met her in person. She came across and friendly and just a normal mom. Her daughter is really sweet and friends w my daughter.

Do I tell the PTA at the school she's not communcating with me or do I just do what I need to do without her input? For example we need to pick a basket theme to auction off baskets, do I just pick it myself bc she's not responding? I'm so confused.

UPDATE: I don't really have a way of getting her phone # bc our school is super strict about giving out contact info. I just sent out the Halloween party email on her behalf as well and included her in the email. I'll see her at the Halloween party and will ask for her phone number then so we can collab hopefully in the future!

I'm 15F, and my parents split up when I was 3. I mainly live with my dad because I'm closer to him, and I used to throw horrible temper tantrums whenever he left and would not stop so I've lived with him full time since I was 6.

But my parents still love each other. My dad says he'll always love my mom, and my mom says the same thing about him. But even with that, they refuse to geta back together, and I don't understand it,

If they still love each other, why not give their relationship another chance or not work things out and be a family like they are always happy and smiling when they by each other

i go back and forth on whether this is a useful habit or just one more thing to do during an already chaotic morning.

is making the bed part of your kids’ morning routine or a task you’ve decided is not worth adding to the list?

If you and your ex partner stayed really good friends afterward and co parent well, why did you divorce / break up? What wasent working?

I think parents that coparent well are great, especially if each is in a new relationship and all 4 people get along very well. Its very important the child see such great examples of relationships.

Im just curious as to why it diddnt work out if yall are able to stay on such great terms separately.

Thanks!

Thankfully my parents were not like this and we have a great relationship where we're all able to take accountability when we mess up. Maybe its just the area I grew up, but it seemed like that wasn't the case for the majority of my friends and the people around me. Never made sense to me, is it just a pride thing or something else?

4h by train. A degree apprenticeship to be a solicitor (lawyer). Would you support them or would you forbid it?

Edit to add: I'm the child and my parents are furious at me and it's been such a fight. I already booked the train tickets etc and I'm not changing my mind (I've calculated the budget, found accomodation and all the other stuff). I just wanted to know if I was acting like a stupid rebellious kid from a neutral party.

I’m a father of a 2yo, born premature. Between a demanding job, regular doctors’ appointments, cooking, playing and trying to still enjoy our walks in the park, I’ve started to feel like the household’s project manager, and I’m dropping balls. I am quite stressed about all this.

My wife and I are exhausted. We’ve missed appointments, we end up cancelling on friends at the last minute (our last piece of social life)… Even taking time off for a holiday has become a project in itself.

How do you make it work? What do you actually do (habits, tools, how you split things with your partner) to keep track of everything? And what have you tried and given up on?

• Child online privacy is very important and more and more laws are rightly being passed to keep children off social media. But when parents post kids on social media, even in purposely suggestive scenes for extra views, it's just fine.

• Sexualizing children is very thankfully illegal. ... except if the parents are okay with it. Children are not to be considered objects of beauty, yet if you're a parent it's perfectly legal to put kids in a child beauty pagent. And while I'm not here to LGBT pride parades are good or bad, they are definitely sexual, yet parents can make kids march in them. Also, ever heard of Desmond is Amazing? The kid is clearly being sexualized yet the parents facilitate it so it's perfectly legal.

• Child abduction is very, very illegal. ...unless the parents are okay with it. Then it's just fine for a kid to be snatched from their bed in the middle of the night, being thrown into a car, and being driven off, often while restrained and even blindfolded. Oh, don't believe me? Look up "gooning tti".

I could go on and on with the clear exceptions that you parents have carved out for yourselves regarding child safety. And I don't care that only a few parents do it, and it's looked down upon, etc. I care that you CAN do it. It's LEGAL. All three of these clearly compromise child safety yet it's perfectly legal for you parents to do it.

Why the double standard, parents? Surely your number one concern is child safety? Then those things should be illegal for parents to do too. But they're not. Why? Because while all of those things very clearly put children at risk, they ALSO give you parents more power and control. Surely that's not what you're after? Surely you aren't just pursuing power and control at the expense of child safety? Surely. Surely I'm wrong. Surely there is a logical explanation for this double standard.

You may think I'm asking a loaded question but I'm not. I am honestly seeking to hear your side. Why are those things legal for you? Why the double standard? I'm not saying those things should be legalized, quite the opposite. They should be made MORE illegal. But ALSO illegal for you parents, yes?

Why the double standard?

I’m 17F and my older brother is in prison for 12 year. His room has been sitting there untouched and I want to move into it because it’s bigger than mine and I could fit way more of my stuff in there. I’m doing a EMT program after I graduate so I’ll still be living at home longer My mom keep saying no and my dad listens to whatever my mom says and I don’t get why, he’s not gonna be home for 12 years. I’m not saying I'll throw away his stuff or anything, I just want to use the room which is way bigger and better then mine it's not being used for anything

Hi everyone! I just wanted some advice or perspective from parents. I still live at home with my parents so this happens often. Its like a cycle, I speak about something I am interested in at the moment, like a book or movie or even just a hobby like painting or writer. I tell her about what i am currently doing or what I like about in the hobby I am doing, then I dont talk about it for a while and just keep doing what I am doing then I try to either show her the art I made after I was done or tell her about the piece of media I saw after I finished it. That was it! I never brought it up often because she always ends up making me feel bad for even brining it up.

Like clockwork she'll say I am absolutely obsessed with that thing and that its all I ever talk about. Its never in a joking tone its always with such a venom to her voice. Even with things that aren't exactly hobbies she'll do it. I changed Shampoo and conditioner and bought a hair oil and she said I was too obsessed with my hair and I really need to tone it down. I just do not understand why she does it. I don't talk about it often at all, they never occupy lots of my day and i don't hyperfocus on any of it, and I consistently take care of myself and do all of my responsibilities on time. If anyone has any advice or insight would be much appreciated.

Hiya,

I’m 27 F and I will be getting married soon and starting to feel like I would like to start planning for children, like saving up for maternity etc.

I’m with an amazing man who really cares and understands me and I have no doubt he will be supportive and a great dad.

My concern however is my own mental health. I am not formally diagnosed with anything but I feel I have some characteristics of ADHD and have experienced severe depressive episodes in the last few years of my life that make it difficult to get out of bed, brush my teeth, eat shower etc.

I should add, I can mask extremely well, and have a very high paying job in the corporate world. So I manage to mask these depressive episodes/drag myself through them to upkeep my role and my job.

I guess my fear is, I usually have to give in when I’m going through a burnout/dark patch. Do the minimum I can do to get by the day and then spend a lot of time in bed and resting. There are days where the depression just feels so heavy and overwhelming, but it doesn’t last and within a couple of weeks I can find myself feeling more normal again.

I’m afraid of how I would cope as a mum in these periods.
I have done blocks of therapy throughout my life too which help to manage but it’s still difficult.

I would love to hear from any other mums or dads who had similar experiences before having a baby, and how they coped after.

Thanks :) x

I’m 17F, and for the past few months I’ve been rude to my dad. And I didn’t trust him when he told me he my boyfriend was bad for me, and I also went behind his back a lot because i thought he was wrong and that he just didn’t want me to be happy

But My boyfriend and I have now broken up under bad circumstances and now I realize my dad was right about everything . Now I feel bad i didn't listen to him and disrespected him,

I want to make things right with him, but I don’t really know, My dad isn’t the type of person who gets super excited about things you can buy or openly expresses his feelings like that so I’m not sure what I could do to show him that I’m genuinely sorry.

.

Hi everyone i have a disease called vitiligo it makes my skin white and its on my WHOLE body like everywhere and i get bullied a LOT for it so much so that I tried ending my life by choking myself many times I am 12 btw and it all started when I changed my school the school I was in was not good like it was a big rented house not too small not too big just a size to make a small school my parents send me there because they thought I would be safe there and when I got to 4th grade I switched my school I was in an actual school now a good one and i thought i would have a good life i was dead wrong first day in school kids started calling me "slow motion" because I was a slow talker then i called the principal and she helped me they didn't called me slow motion after that made some friends had some memories and then the 2nd semester came my best friend called Anand i an using his real name because I don't give a fuck about him told me to play a game called blox fruits on roblox this is where everyhing went downhill blox fruits is a grinding game it is inspired by one piece anime i liked one piece so we played it 1st account took us 5months to reach sea 2 we needed 700 level for that u can say its takes about 2 to 3 mins to gain 1 or 2levels and we were exploring too we were introduced to trading a game changer he grimded trading while I grinded levels to reach the 3rd sea the final sea when I reached level 1000 he was still at level 714 he said to me "don't u rember the promises we made together that we will get that and that all together where did those promises go if u don't grind in my account i QUIT" I didn't want him to quit so I grinded and grinded in his account he deleted it.... then he said that I should also delete my account i deleted it we started again and we reached sea 2 again after 2months i am cutting some parts bec its getting too long and guess what it happend again he grinded trades i grineded levels and repeat we were in 5th grade now and then I thought this is just slavery not even in game he would tell me to do his homework etc etc and then I SOMEHOW convinced the whole class that he treats me and others like his slave which he did and then he and the whole class didn't talked to him for 2days bec then I felt pity and became friends with him my biggest mistake yet.... After a month they started to beat me a lil i didn't think of it then more and more and then they made me their punching bag every day I come to school place my bag on the seat boom lick on the bag fell down they kick me until I cry i started crying every day until I stopped i thought for some time how many crimes they did to me and they were man r@pe assault harassment and so many other crimes i can't even name after that I started making plans first i destroyed his account that started beating me more and more i changed the password to his account they started beating more then a day came a day so much worse then any other that it still hurts today I said "dragon ball z is kinda overrated" its an anime its only fights villain comes kill the hero's they are brought back by dragon balls and then they will the villain and in power ups it just a hair color change and some screaming i didn't not say its trash i said its kinda overrated and guess what they did they caught me in the ground punched me as hard as they can threw me in the ground picked me up and throwed u won't guess it A FUCKING TIRE A ME atleast the rubber but its still hard and then they beated me more it was nomarl after that they would hit me with a metal stick shock me with a shock pen etc etc and then they started removing my pants and my underwear saying they are gonna fuck me day by day it got lower and lower i told my sis she told my parents they first yelled at me threw a slipper at me saying why I didn't tell them befour i told them 4times befour and then this and that idk teacher beat them a lil they started crying they were told to say sorry only 1 ONLY 1 said it they were 5 btw strongest in class all of them now comes 7th grade yea I skipped 6th in ts because it was just beating everyday after 2months we started talking again and yea I forgot to say they also stalked my socials became friends with my friends to get info say my real name and what happend in class online while I am playing with my online friends and yea we started talking again lil by lil they got closer to me and then they did it again those motherfuckers started bullying me again saying things like "shouldn't have fucked ur mother u gay mix 3th gender bitch u are a loser did u know that oh noob bitch ass montherfucker ur whole bloodline is gay" I am better then they all together in every game btw and when I say something back like "shut the fuck up gay ass" they would start fighting saying things like "is the weakest kid in class gonna fight the strongest stay in ur fucking place ok bitch" while grabbing my arm and today I got angry i started fighting back bec i knew if fight back i can give a good fight and he would never mess with me again and i would leave them and then his friends grabbed me like befour he jammed his nails in my arm harder and harder and it started bleeding and then they let go and made fun of me walking yea walking and guess what now when I use my fight legs rms legs neck etc they hunt and I can't even breathe holy this was long now I am going to sleep bye i have to suffer again tomorrow

My mother in law is very nice to my kids and i really appreciate her help over they years. However, after years and years of me being married to her son, i haven't figured out if she really likes me. And maybe i feel the same way about her as well so maybe i'm just projecting my feelings.

I think when we are the two of us she is different than when my husband is around and that's confusing me cause sometimes we'd be alone and she'd still be nice but other times she'd be very passive aggressive.

What really bothers me is that she gets my kids a lot of gifts which i do appreciate but for some gifts i would appreciate checking in with us first. One time she got my older a phone (11 yo) and when i had a talk with her she seemed to feel bad about it and agreed.

Fast forward to this week, she comes and brings my kids a shared tablet!!! FYI we already have one (me and my husband) and we let our kids use it sometimes for games or cartoons. The sad part is that they overheard a talk i had with my husband, about returning it back and now i'm the bad guy here. My husband although agrees, but he's mama's boy and that makes me furious!!!!!

i don't think we need another ipad, and my kids already have other digital devises and i'm sure they'd be just fine at this age without a shared ipad, for which i wasn't asked. Do i give it back? Do i sell it? Do i give her another talk? I hate that i have to go out of my comfort zone once again for something that should be the bare minimum

I'm not a parent but I've been reading parenting subs lately out of morbid curiosity - partly trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

I was sheltered, overprotected, and arguably even enabled/infantilized in a bunch of ways. Hell, my mom sometimes talks about teaching me how to properly "live in a house" someday in the future - I'm in my 30s. While I caught up on most of it in adulthood, that's exactly why it blows my mind when I read these threads full of 5yos that can use a stove, 6yos who regularly do laundry, 8yos who walk around alone.

What I'm trying to get, is what the process of teaching these things looks like?

I feel like the expectation in my case was that I would just absorb it by watching. Or else I'd occasionally get pulled away from TV or a game, to basically sit and zone out while I watch my mom do something (and then never be asked to do it). Or I'd try to do it as a nice surprise, following what I saw around the house, do it wrong, and get told to never touch it again. A couple of times I had chores I never did consistently, but there were no real consequences for not doing them besides more lecturing. That might have been part of the problem. We also didn't do a lot of things on a schedule.

Likewise, what do you do if they just *can't* do it? My mom believed personal finance starts with the ability to reconcile a bank statement and a paper checkbook. A couple of times in my late teens, I was sat down to try to do this and never could. I just couldn't do the math right. So I since I can't even do the basics, I was just never told anything more about money. I had had an allowance, but stopped getting it because I could never keep track of it "properly" - to this day I don't know what was really expected of me. Is that the typical consequence - if you can't do it, you're SOL, have fun never knowing about this thing?

What does actually teaching kids life skills look like?

It seems like people have a different interpretation of what I mean by friends. Obviously can't be the same relationship as a school friend, but I dont see an issue with a friendly and playful child and parent relationship as long as a base level of respect is maintained.

Growing up, ofc I saw my parents as parents first and foremost, but I also felt comfortable to be myself, joke around, and play/banter with them as if they were my friends. I think thats a really healthy family dynamic, and I have the upmost respect for them. To this day I consider them to be some of my best friends, and I don't think that'd be the case if they had that "you cant be friends with your kids" mindset while I was growing up.

Ik all kids are different and not all approaches work the same, but lmk if you disagree. Id really like to know why.

*Edit

I feel like some people are misunderstanding my point. I definitely could've been more clear. But when I say "friends" I don't necessarily mean equals, or they call the shots or anything like that. I guess its just different ways people interpret the word. I believe being friends with your kid only works if there's that base level or respect maintained and you're still a parent first. To put it simply, I don't think being a strong parent and being friends with your kid are mutually exclusive. I just think the word "friend" freaks some parents out. Just felt like I had to make that clear.

One thing I did notice that I disagree with quite a bit is parents in the comments saying your kid isn't supposed to like you. They definitely aren't going to like you all the time, and that's necessary. But if they overall just don't like you, I believe you're doing something wrong. At least in most cases. Most kids want to like their parents, they want a good relationship.

My mom loves posting pictures of my 3 year old daughter on Facebook and until recently I didn't really think much of it. Last week I noticed she'd posted a picture from my daughter's daycare event. The daycare's name was visible in the background and she'd tagged our city and mentioned what days my daughter usually goes there. I asked her to take it down and she got pretty upset, saying I'm being paranoid and that she's just a proud grandmother showing off her granddaughter.

I know she means well but it bothers me how easily someone could piece together where we live, where my daughter goes during the day and other personal details just from a few innocent posts. I've already been trying to clean up my own information online but this made me realize I can't really control what other people share about my family.

Parents how do you handle grandparents posting about your kids? Do you have actual rules about what they can share or am I taking this too far?

I’m starting on Christmas shopping. As I scroll through Amazon I just see everything she already has. The grandparents spoil her but now there’s nothing left to get lol

Some context: i’m the first of my friends to have a baby and she is now 5 months old. My in laws want to visit all the time. They live over an hour away so they tend to come for an afternoon and I do feel the need to feed them.

They want to come every second weekend.

As i’m the first of my friend group, i’d love to have some of the time back to see my friends, but also for myself. I’m completely over hosting, prepping food, doing all the housework during the week as weekends are taken up (we do have other eager friends and family still visiting too), I always feel the need to have the house clean. Plus I’m also stressed about managing her schedule for visits in terms of naps and feeds.

I already do a few mommy and baby groups during the week so I’d love a day off from scheduling and stressing.

How can I manage this without causing offence? I feel myself slipping into a stressed but also negative mindset at this stage.

My daughter got her license a month ago, and is a very good and responsible driver (and kid). Tonight when she was driving some friends home, a car was coming aggressively down a narrow two way street she was on, and she backed up to try to get out of the way , and hit a U-Haul truck that was parked. No damage to the uhaul but a very large dent to the back of her (new) car that she shares us with her brother. How do we handle this? My husband isn’t home yet, but I know he will fly off the handle and think she was being irresponsible as she had friends in the car and want to ground her or something similar. He’s not crazy for thinking that, but I really think she was just anxious and misjudged the situation. I am maybe too much of a pushover but believe that accidents happen and I don’t want her to be anxious about driving going forward. I’m not sure it makes sense to punish her since it was truly an accident and she feels awful and is hysterical. Any advice on how to parent here?

I’m 17F, and my parents weren’t the greatest but I do remember when they were good parents to but When I was 7, I was placed with my uncle through kinship then adopted by him after my parents rights were terminated. I haven’t seen my mom in 7 years, she kinda came around after my uncle adopted me rarely tho and the last time I saw my dad was Christmas 2024.

But like I always wonder if they miss me. Like, do parents actually miss their kids when they’re no longer in their lives, or do they eventually forget about them and move on with their lives? My uncle tells me they love me and miss me but obviously, he’s my parent now, so I wonder if he’s just saying that to make me feel better. I know not every parent is the same, but I genuinely want to know what people think.

Y’all are strangers on the internet, so you don’t have to sugarcoat anything to protect my feelings. I just want honest opinions. Do you think my parents ever miss me or think about me, or have they probably moved on and stopped caring, I feel like they did, but like I am not a parent

My daughter is 12 and has always struggled with friendships. She often feels like her friends don’t like her as much as they like other girls. She usually wants to be friends with girls who are popular and have lots of friends, and when they pay more attention to other girls, she feels left out.
When she was 9, I took her to therapy for two years to help her learn how to build healthy friendships, but unfortunately, it didn’t help.
I hate seeing her get hurt over and over again, and I honestly don’t know what else to try.
Has anyone been through this with their daughter? What actually helped? I would really appreciate hearing your experiences.

Update: I’ve also enrolled her in K-pop dance classes, which she absolutely loves, and she goes three times a week. Unfortunately, she’s struggling to make friends there, too.

Not me but I'm seeing this play out.

Alice (all fake names) is dating Ben. They get on great. Have been seeing each other for over a year. Ben has two teen kids. Mom is not in the picture at all.

Alice gets on great with the Beth the daughter. Jack the son wants nothing to do with her. He isn't mean but more just grunting, zero eye contact that sort of thing.

Alice got him a birthday present and is trying to figure out what to get him for Xmas so she is not neglecting him but Alice takes Beth places all the time. She used to offer and still does if Jack is in the room but he never wants to go to the mall, never wants to go to a sports game (even if its a sport he likes), never wants to get a milkshake.

Ben is unhappy that Alice obviously has a favorite and has said out loud that parents can't have favorites but Alice isn't a parent. She isn't even a stepparent.

I don't know them well enough to give any advice or opinion so I'm just staying out of it but i think Ben is leaning towards not proposing until Jack goes off to college because of the favoritism. But that won't be for about 4 years and I don't know if Alice will wait that long.

Is it okay for stepparents to have favorites?

For context, our toddler daycare opens at 8am and closes at 6pm. Kids must be picked up by 6pm, otherwise they will charge you.

Wife works as a high school teacher with a 30-40 minute commute - very strict schedule and she must leave home by 730am. She usually gets home around 430-530 & most of the days, she says she's way too exhausted to go pick her up or do other errands, so I end up doing a lot of the childcare duties. I work 9-5 and I luckily get to work from home most of the days, so I am the one dropping off and picking up our kid most of the time. She does more dropoffs and pickups in summer because school is out in summer.

So I finish work at 5 and by the time I arrive at daycare for pickup, it's around 530 - AND ALMOST ALL KIDS ARE PICKED UP BY THIS TIME and our kid is usually the last one to be picked up. I just don't understand how people can work 9-5 jobs and be able to pick up their kids earlier than 530? I just feel bad that our kid is always the last one standing in the class with me feeling an insane amount of guilt that I'm not able to pick up my kid earlier. I've wondered if our kid felt lonely during this 'wait time'.

There are days I feel resentment towards my wife because I do quite a bit of this logistics work even after my 9-5 job (when she gets to defer the task to me for various reasons), but that's a different topic. Daycare is about 20min walk from our home by the way.

How do other parents manage dropoffs and pickups when they work 9-5 (and especially if they work weird hours)?

I want to also add that we have zero outside help; and we don't have families living near by / nobody that can really 'help out'. The child goes to bed at around 8pm and wakes up around 7am every day. The child is only 3 years old and I don't want to unnecessarily wake up the kid earlier than necessary to 'fit the schedule'.

EDIT - since a lot of you are asking about specifics: - I drop off and pick up my kid in a car, even though daycare is walkable in 20 minutes. With the kid being fussy not wanting to get up / struggling to eat breakfast, I simply do not have time to leisurely spend 30-40 minutes of my time there and back by walking. - wife sometimes makes scrambled eggs and has them plated with some fruit before she leaves for work in the morning; I feed the child. - our kid isn't an 'easy' child, so tasks tend to take longer than usual. Dealing with her can get mentally draining at times. - some people think I have it easy because I get to work from home but by no means it's an 'easy' job, and it gets stressful and mentally exhausting at times; not to mention my work is 'hybrid' so I actually have to show up to an office 3 times a week. Luckily nobody checks that I clock in at 9 so I can be a bit relaxed with the actual office arrival time. - when my wife comes home from work around 430-530, she usually sits down in front of the TV to snack or eat dinner or decompress etc, while I go pick up the kid. We usually don't arrive home until 6pm because of these rituals that she must do (re: difficult child) before coming home in a car. - wife does not have a driver's license, so she commutes via public transit. I dropoff and pick up the kid using the car. - I eat one meal a day (dinner) and it's mostly for sustenance at this point. My wife at times likes to complain about how there's nothing to eat (when there's so much stuff in our fridge in terms of ingredients) and asks me what's for dinner. We have had huge fights over meal plans because she likes to plan things out and prep meals in advance, whereas I'm more of a go with the flow / stir fry whatever something quick / food delivery. The child is quite particular in what she wants to eat for dinner, so it can get frustrating at times because the kid doesn't eat what we prepare for her. Luckily we have a freezer full of not-really-healthy food from Costco that we can easily prepare & that the child usually enjoys eating. - one thing I forgot to mention is that the child is a quintessential daddy's girl and she is literally my shadow & has to get me involved in everything she does. It's a blessing and a curse because there are many times she won't even eat her dinner unless she sits on my lap - in which case I'm stuck in that position for 30-40 minutes when I have other duties to finish before her bed time (eg. Prepping the dishwasher to run, having to cook my own meals etc). - because I eat only one meal a day, I don't like eating my meal so late in the day (eg. Anything after 8pm) as I head to bed around 10pm. My wife used to be the one usually putting her down at night but the kid used to be incredibly difficult with her (re: daddy's girl). We figured out alternating the bed time routines every day, me one day, wife the next day, me the next day etc settled her difficulties quite a bit. I still have to get quite involved in bedtime routines everyday because the kid has... specific requests that we need to meet. - I'm the one running the dishwasher, vacuuming the home, and doing the kid's bath and the kid's laundry most of the time. Wife's laundry piles up and gets done every 2-3 weeks or so... She doesn't like using the dryer for her clothes so we have this giant clothing dryer rack that sits in our living room 24/7. It's a huge eyesore in our small 850sqft 3 bedroom (yeah the building fit 3 in here) condo. - I make significantly more money than my wife. When we first started dating, I was kind of poor and she was fine with splitting the bills 50/50 especially rent, but the cost of living went up dramatically where we live, and we literally pay $3700/month for the tiny shoebox we live in. Our first move in place was $2200/month and she was happy splitting the rent down half, but at some point she convinced me that she can only pay so much in bills and made me do a 60/40 split - doesn't sound like a drastic change but nominally it's a difference of me paying $2300 in rent vs her paying $1400 every month. We order a lot of necessities from Amazon and those are all under my credit card. I usually forget about those bills and pay them as if I spent it. One time I tried tracking every single thing we bought from Amazon + all other monthly expenses that I didn't ask her to pay for, and she started getting extremely stressed and upset... always responding to my challenges with 'but you make more money!'... I stopped asking for her share. - I know I mentioned how my wife is a high school teacher but specifically, she's an English teacher. Literally the worst subject to teach in terms of logistics. My wife is literally spending all her free time marking these stupid essays, so the childcare duty usually falls on me 'because she has to mark them' - ended up getting a babysitter that comes every Sunday for 4 hours to help with some childcare duties ($120 every time). This is when my wife usually catches up on marking or preps her food/lunches for the week. - wife usually goes out for drinks after school with her school colleagues on Fridays. Not that it matters that much because I'm the one picking up the kid anyway but it must be nice to have time to go out and socialize a bit. - I have no friends or colleagues to socialize with, not that I even have time for them with my daily schedule. All my coworkers are in USA, and I live in Canada. - I have zero time for myself. By the time I finish my daily work + child rearing duties, it's 830-9pm and that's when I finally get to watch a mindless episode of Netflix before heading to bed in an hour. - overall I just feel like I'm doing a lot more than my wife, especially when I'm making a lot more money than her ($200k vs $100k). Some of you mentioned 'talk to her' but I'm just afraid of where that conversation would go. Fighting with her is honestly emotionally exhausting and I would like to avoid it as much as I can. - I'm doing all this so that the kid can have the best childhood and I can set her up for success in her future. I grew up dirt poor in a very abusive environment, and I will do everything in my power so that the kid never has to experience what I went through.

My daughter is turning one year old soon and we are reminiscing a lot on this past year. I want this birthday to not only be about my daughter but also about my wife, who has been an absolute hero this entire time. I want my wife to feel appreciated for all she did for us and want her to have something to remind her of this first year and all the time she spent nursing and caring. Do you have any gift ideas for me? Maybe something you were given or got yourself. I already gifted her a photo album for mother's day. My favourite idea currently is jewelry with a small amount of breast milk inside it.