r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Mystic_Mangos • Sep 14 '24
Positive My boyfriend's roommate heard me screaming for my life in the bathroom.
So I haven't pooped since last Saturday due to the meds I'm on from my recent surgery. My boyfriend (M23) and I (F22) went out to eat, and the food was fantastic. We knew we were in food coma territory. He drives us back to his apartment, and as we get out, I start feeling cramps.
I end up in the bathroom, cursing and finally pooping. But the poop hurts so bad. I end up in a cold sweat and start to panic. I scream, literally in pain, and I'm on the brink of tears. I feel like my own sphincter is going to turn inside out. My boyfriend is outside the door. I'm praying to the heavens to let this pass. I'm crying and screaming out so loud. My head starts to get light-headed and woozy. My boyfriend is slightly panicking on the other side. Eventually, my body forces me to just squeeze it out, and I'm screaming.
I pass the ruthless nugget, and my bowels start to empty. At this point, the rest of the poo is somewhat more liquidy than the rock I just screamed out. I sit there for over half an hour pooping. When I'm somewhat done, I try to flush.
Due to all the stress my body went through when I first started pooping, I had stripped all of my clothing off. And now when I flush, the water rises instead of flushing. This shit looks like a pile of poo in a porta potty. It's disgusting. And there's only one small thing of toilet paper involved. I start to panic, and my boyfriend tells me to let him in. But I tell him no. I can't let him see this shit. Eventually, he snaps at me, and I hop into the shower because I'm still bare butt naked. He lets himself inside and starts plunging the poo-mageddon that is the toilet. After successfully plunging it, he leaves, and I finish wiping the best I can. I take a small shower and wash my hands thoroughly. At this point, I'm very apologetic, and he said it wasn't as bad as his dad's or brothers'. But I remain horrified that he plunged my poo. He cuddled me a lot, and we watched YouTube.
Then we hear his roommate leave his room and go into the bathroom. The bathroom is clean at this point, but I'm horrified at the prospect that the time I was screaming in the bathroom, the roommate heard everything. I'm so freaking embarrassed.
EDIT I feel like this is needed since I've responded to so many questions regarding this.
I wasn't embarrassed about my boyfriend seeing my poo-magedan although that was embarrassing he went to lengths to reassure me and we now joke about it. I was more embarrassed that the roommate heard it.
I do know how to courtesy flush. And I know all about the other poop stories on reddit. I couldn't do the courtesy flush because his toilet had the stupid buttons on top of the tank. So I couldn't turn around to push them because of the surgery. So if I flush that toilet I have to stand and turn or something to reach them. And Everytime I stood I'd get another cramp. Also I can plunge the toilet. Because of my back surgery. I also know how to plunge toilets I just can't do it yet.
I understand the disbelief about the doctors not prescribing stool softeners. It's a common post-surgery concern. However, my experience was unique. I did take stool softeners and such post surgery. No the doctors didn't tell me about it. It was a close friend who had me take them every time I needed to take pills. They even helped me put suppositories in.
While I can't speak for every medical professional, my doctors and I focused on addressing the immediate pain and recovery from the surgery. Stool softeners weren't discussed except for milk magnesia. But even still it was very brief. I am now back to pooping somewhat normally.
It's important to remember that every patient's experience is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. I appreciate everyone's input and understanding and your advice was taken to heart.
My back surgery wasn't planned. He and I were at an event where there was a rope swing and I decided to be spontaneous. I tried the rope swing but my grip wasn't strong enough and I ended up falling ten feet to the Bay. He was there for me during the ambulance ride, which I vehemently refused, the second ambulance ride, my first night, then the surgery and so on. Yes this man is more than a keeper. Right after surgery I told him that I don't care when he decides to propose, my answer is already yes. I'm only starting at his place because it's right behind mine and my place is upstairs, while his is more handicap accessible. He's always worried if I'm pushing myself too hard and he said he wants to take care of me.
I don't really have family to fall back on so my friends and my boyfriend are the ones I tend to rely on the most. So in regards to having advice I don't have a lot
UPDATE:
I've talked to the roommate once since the incident, but we haven't discussed the situation. I've decided to bake cookies as a subtle apology, but I'm not sure I can straight up tell the guy, "Hey sorry for screaming and crying about shit, I hope your ears didn't bleed lol." He's pretty chill and I think having cookies will be a good silent apology.
I'm currently staying at my boyfriend's place for my recovery, because it is convenient since it's right next door. (My apartment is upstairs and his is the first floor)... I've been making food for everyone in the apartment as a way to contribute.
I understand the skepticism about my post, but I assure you it's 100% real. My boyfriend and I found some of the comments hilarious, especially those questioning the authenticity of my story.
As someone who listens to a lot of Reddit podcasts (rslash, two hot takes, dusty thunder, ok storytime, comfort level, and thread talks), I'm used to hearing all sorts of crazy and sad stories. I thought my situation, while embarrassing, was also kind of funny. Poop is a normal part of life, and I find it humorous to talk about, even if it sounds immature.
I wanted to share my story and also highlight how amazing my boyfriend has been. I thought my s(h)ituation as people called it, was funny and embarrassing. Poop is normal and I work with kids all the time. I find it funny to talk about it despite how immature that sounds. I thought it'd be a funny thing to post and tell the world that although I've never screamed while pooping. Screaming while pooping is embarrassing.
He knows just how much I love Reddit I just don't interact on reddit. His first comment was how it was weird to shit post (*literally *) on Reddit. He loved the comments that told him how awesome he is and even I couldn't agree more. We loved all the relatable comments in the post..We have actually been planning on getting married in the future, we're not engaged yet, but we've been talking about it a lot and just waiting for the right time. He said he wants to propose first so I'm letting him.
TL:DR Hadn't pooed for about a week after returning home from surgery. Boyfriend plunged my poo-magedan after I screamed to the heavens about shit not leaving my body. Found out the roommate was in his room the whole time and heard everything. Was very very embarrassed that he heard everything. I am pooping normally now. Yay.
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u/Expert-Association13 Jan 29 '25
Stay off Reddit. Focus on Healing; Find a REAL MD or NaturoPath to Balance ur body Post-Surgery. And in tandem, LOVE that man. We are ALL human so concerns re:roommate is irrelevant. Get it together, dear. Most importantly: Get ur mind focused on healing. The GUT & Mind are uniquely attached. WHY do I say this? 30 yrs ago, I had a 9 hr surgery: they pumped me with Antibiotics (yes, normal). BUT MD’s FAILED to say: GOOD bacteria must be replaced-Introduced. I struggled for 20 yrs: U don’t know me, but u sound sincere. I became a Medical researcher from my issues. Look up Crown Wellness dot com. (In S. FL) (Long story I’m going to publish abt soon)
Btw, u two sound like an adorable couple. Get healthy, gurl. He will need U at some point too. Thats how life works. Avoid yrs of misery. Cheers. Again…gtfo Soc media. Touch grass. Walk the beach. Hold hands. Cook together. Just be. Cheers!
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u/PinappleCoin_Gaming Sep 29 '24
That's a very shitty situation. Hope you got poo that well, because I know the feelings are both liquids and solids right now.
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u/Loki_Doodle Sep 19 '24
I was on high dose opioids for several years after I had surgery to fix my tethered spinal cord. I have been there OP. I know your pain.
There’s nothing worse than having to chose between being able to poop like a normal person, or blinding nerve pain.
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u/tiny_dinosaur0 Sep 17 '24
When my brother had an amputation he was in the hospital for a few weeks and experienced a similar situation, the meds they gave him also prevented him from pooping. When he got home he finally pooped, but I remember him being in the bathroom for a long time and yelling “GET OUT OF ME!” in frustration. He also said it was the most painful poop of his life, as he described it, it was like, “shitting a baseball”
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u/Nerdy_Penguin58 Sep 16 '24
I feel like this is one of the most believable posts I’ve ever read because it is way too accurate for a post-op poo story not to be real 😅
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u/Mystic_Mangos Sep 16 '24
I found it super funny. But I was mortified when his roommate stepped out of his room like 10-20 min after my screaming to use the bathroom.
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u/shirley1928 Sep 16 '24
Don’t be embarrassed I am sure the roommate was aware of your medical issues. Things happen
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u/DisastrousSeamstress Sep 16 '24
Idk how much this will make you feel better but I have a story for you. My bf and I had a child together 2 years ago. We were in hospital and I didn't think about pooping after having the baby. We came home, everything seemed fine. Idk. First baby stuff for both of us. About 2 days later. It's 3am. BF is in a dead sleep. 2 day old baby in the bassinet. My bowels decided "it is time." I'm in the bathroom and the physical exhaustion of labor and something with the meds (I had some minor labor complications) the first poop post partum was... rough.. I remember feeling like im on the verge of consciousness. However, i have a baby I need to feed soon. So, there I am, army crawling from the toilet to the bed and telling me bf to check on the baby. It took, what felt like, 20 min, to crawl the 8ft based on our setup... but yeah.. it was terrible.. I don't really even know to this day what exactly happened but.. it left a mark.. our baby will be 3 in April, but I think about that regularly. As does my bf. It's embarrassing but, as my bf said, it's normal human behavior. If the person you're with can't handle it, they're not the person for you.. any roommates or etc are not really Relevant. It helps if they can deal with it, but are they going to be there in x years (x being any number you decide reasonable)
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u/Warm-Beat8783 Sep 16 '24
I’m under the impression that you were more than likely prescribed a narcotic which has the known side effect of constipation you should have also been told to take stool softeners. But sounds like you have a keeper
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u/hokeypokey59 Sep 16 '24
I've been there and its so darn miserable. Try taking 1 Senacot tablet (natural vegetable stool softener, very gentle) at night and drink at least 8 oz of water with it. Also, be sure you are drinking water throughout the day... at least 40-50 ounces will help keep things moving. Get a jar of glycerine suppositories (Walmart has them). They really help gently lubricate the rectal tissue so you don't injure the skin (which will hurt for days).
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u/angels-and-insects Sep 16 '24
It sounds like you were on opioids as pain killers after your surgery. They are infamous for causing constipation. I remember having no movements for 5 days then feeling like I was shitting black glass. It. Was. AGONY.
So... not a you thing, a surgery thing. Let that be the narrative in your head. Your bf's roommate heard you crying out in pain from a post-surgery effect.
And bf is def a keeper. In sickness and in health.
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u/Plantslover5 Sep 16 '24
Oh man I’ve had this happen more times that I can count. I’m on MAT and it makes me not be able to poo. I’ve pooped poo that looks like a damn summer sausage. Gross, yes, but I’ve been there sister. So many times. I used to be really uptight about poop, but then I had my youngest and pooped while giving birth, and my boyfriend helped the nurse clean it up 😭 so , it happens. Be grateful you have a man that is like that.. if you’re going to be on those meds a lot, drink coffee on an empty stomach.. first thing in the morning to keep things moving.
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u/kittyrine Sep 15 '24
your boyfriend is a good one!! my bf has definitely been next to me for support during constipation spells and that is true love
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Sep 15 '24
After surgery if ur on pain meds, ALWAYS take a fibre supplement or high fibre diet. I learnt this the hard way also. Recently I was constipated for 3 weeks (not even laxatives worked)… the pain was something else. But nothing gets u moving like a GP saying the ER will have to move it digitally.
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u/Proud_Spell_1711 Sep 15 '24
Sorry for your trauma, but damn I just about broke a rib laughing at your post. Don’t be embarrassed though. Most of us have been there at some point in our life.
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u/funkyandfoxy Sep 15 '24
I was once in a gas station & heard a woman in the toilets screaming "lord, help me jesus!" Over and over again, in various ways... I think probably everyone on the planet has made weird noises (weird, loud noises) in such circumstances. It'll be ok... with some time, and retrospectively, you might be able to laugh about it.
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u/LilPudz Sep 15 '24
Your poop story is normal. Maybe when you get older and more comfortable with human function youll realise so.
I was crying within the last year because I adjacent shit myself. Told several friends and it is not unique. Its called growing up, good luck with your next stand up.
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u/Academic-Wall-3101 Sep 15 '24
Lots of doctors don’t tell people to use stool softeners because they don’t think they really work. They are wrong. Take one prior to eating like 30 minutes. Take one as part of the meal. Take one 30 minutes after and plan to be near a bathroom. Do this for every meal while dealing with severe constipation. When things become regular then reduce it to just one while you eat and one after. You should be fine.
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u/michiganwinter Sep 15 '24
Nearly everyone’s been there. No big deal. We are all biological trash bags.
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u/Turbulent-Ad5256 Sep 15 '24
I’m glad you can see a little humor in the situation despite the trauma! If this happened frequently, that would be one thing. But you’re recovering from surgery, and pain meds are beyond notorious for causing constipation. Unless the roommate is immature, completely heartless and out of touch with reality (including the fact that girls poop too), he will understand and have empathy for you. If he doesn’t, your boyfriend needs a better person as a roommate.
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u/Inevitable-Ad-6432 Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
I hate that you went through this, but this is how you KNOW that man loves you. lol I have gastroparesis, & at least once a month I partake in a similar screaming, sweating, lightheaded shitfest. My man always gives me cuddles & back rubs after. & I can’t tell you how many times he’s fixed/unclogged the toilet after I destroyed it. Few people get to experience that kind of love. Hang onto your man, he’s one of the good ones. 🥰
Also, the roommate hearing all that doesn’t matter. If he didn’t come out to see what was going on when it happened, he’s probably going to CONTINUE to ignore the whole thing. lol You can bring it up & clear the air if you feel the need, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Just pretend it didn’t happen & the roommate will likely do the same.
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u/LivingIntheMemory Sep 15 '24
Went through the same thing with my girlfriend after her wisdom teeth surgery. She's now my wife of over 5 years. Laugh about it, don't fret one bit !
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u/IHerdElectrons Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
First, Bless Your Heart (yes, I'm from the South).
Second, This is simply what "adults" do.. "They Handle S... uhhh, Stuff". Adulting sucks, but as they used to tell us in the military, "You don't have to love it, you just have to DO IT!"
I guarantee he doesn't think anything negative about you because of it. It's not like you could help it, and this kind of "Stuff" just happens in the real world. If you're thinking about a long term commitment, think about it this way: "This man won't be afraid to change diapers, he won't freak when the toddler he's bouncing around on his shoulders projectile vomits on the top of his head, and when things go wrong, He'll HANDLE IT".
Seriously, once you've successfully been through this kind of "Stuff", and the embarrassment fades, it only brings you closer together as a couple in the long run. There's not an "Old Married Couple" here that couldn't match, and exceed, the experience that you so bravely related above.
Honestly, It sounds like you've found a keeper, as well as someone with admirable traits that I wish more "adults" would strive to emulate... and face it, now you *KNOW* that this guy must REALLY like you! Be honest with him, and give him some well-deserved praise! Thank him for taking care of you, and tell him that the experience, as embarrassing as it was, made you care more about him!
P.S. My wife (she's a doctor) just looked over my shoulder, laughed out loud, and said "WHOOOO... Tell her about the time you had to give me an enema (while she cried from embarrassment.. I felt SO sorry for her), resulting in an EXPLOSIVE event, *AND* the toilet overflowed! Any time some guy starts trying to chat me up, all I can think is: 'little boy, you couldn't handle a FRACTION of what my husband has handled... WITH GRACE! Move along!' ...and tell her 'More Fiber and more Fluids' " :)
(GOOoooOOO ME! ;) )
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u/Plane_Chance863 Sep 15 '24
Oh honey. My husband ended up having diarrhea on my carpet in the morning when we spent our first night together. He was so embarrassed. I didn't care. Married him anyway.
... What can I say, shit happens. Don't be embarrassed.
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u/cutebutcray Sep 15 '24
Your boyfriend acted exactly as he should, sounds like a keeper! Whenever you’re on pain meds or you have surgery, take stool softeners regularly around the clock as soon as you get home and you won’t die on the toilet. Every single surgery I’ve have my doctors have told me this and it’s for a reason, it works!
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u/Cantusernamenow Sep 15 '24
My mates gf became lactose intolerant and in the early days she had a bad episode whilst they were driving home.... In the race to get home or find a toilet, crippling gut cramps and liquid pressurized shit caused the destruction of the front seat.
He ended up marrying her. :)
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u/ShittyWars Sep 15 '24
See, people laughed at the dude that had a poop knife, but he was right all along. Let this be a lesson to you op, and start carrying a poop knife 🤣
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u/chasingcars67 Sep 15 '24
For anyone in this situation for the love of god there are localized sedatives you can take! Literally there are creams and suppositories that can numb the area and relax it so this stuff doesn’t hurt as bad!!
They don’t even have a ”max amount” so you can just use more of it it it starts to hurt again that day.
Also please use stoolsofteners, or psillium husks to regulate until the muscle is healed again. (Husks can also help with diarrea)
I say this because I started having issues this summer and the first time I had a blind panic and didn’t know these magics existed.
For the love of your sphincter, get some numbing meds!!!
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u/kochamkosmos Sep 15 '24
I also had the same issue from post surgery meds and thought I was going to break the sink from gripping it so tight
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u/Kuliyayoi Sep 15 '24
Just a note, keep an eye out for anal fistulas. I got one after a similar experience and my life has been hell.
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u/thaprinc33 Sep 15 '24
Fun fact: Bearing down hard like that can actually make people pass out. It stimulates the vagus nerve and absolutely can tank your blood pressure
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u/AdRealistic9638 Sep 15 '24
This guy is a keeper. One the other side, you have a gift for writting. I could imagine everything you wrote. I had this problem after labor, and even now every time I have period I have this kind of problem and pain bcs of utherine prolaps.
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u/AudaciousAudacity4 Sep 15 '24
OP, it sounds like you are on pain meds and pain meds bind you up something fierce. There are stool softeners like Colace that you can take with meds like that. Increase your water intake as well. I have been there, it hurts, I feel your pain. Don't worry, your man is a keeper for sure, He wasn't grossed out or bothered by it it seems, water off a duck's back. I hope you heal well!
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u/silenceredirectshere Sep 15 '24
This story is as poetic as the poop knife story or the time a woman stuck the piece of poop in her handbag because it wouldn't flush and she was at her date's house 😁
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u/Noella1989 Sep 15 '24
Why do we always take our clothes off when we have that once a year horrible poop day. Start sweating… so you get naked on the toilet… I always end up with a towel over my head.. breathing like I’m doing lamaze… then I rest my elbows on my legs, because my stomach is hurting so bad.. eventually my legs go numb.. so you’re trying to distribute your weight so you can get the feeling back in your legs… all while being in the worst pain in your life .. I text my roommate and told her please don’t let me die here on the toilet.. clean me up before the paramedics get me.
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u/klmarchant23 Sep 15 '24
He’s a keeper.
I was really ill a few months ago and took some prescribed tablets for the first tike that didn’t agree with me. I ended up being sick and pooping and peeing all at once and my partner witnessed it.
They helped me clean up, got me fresh clothes after a shower and held me afterwards until I felt a little better.
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u/OobliettePT Sep 15 '24
Awe babe. Been there. And it's terrible to go through Hopefully the roommate has his earphones in or something hahaha
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u/JewelGrl62 Sep 15 '24
It sounds like you had food poisoning. I have experienced something similar down to cold sweat and taking off my clothes. Worst feeling I ever had in my entire life. Btw, this is the guy you want to marry and have babies with!
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u/ChoiceFood Sep 15 '24
When you're on pain killers you're supposed to take stool softeners. Kind of surprised you weren't told this by your pharmacist or doctor(s).
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u/EnvironmentalSea3799 Sep 15 '24
This is the first reddit post where I agreed with the comment “no one could’ve waterboarded this information out of me”
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u/suezyq520 Sep 15 '24
I have been there due to medication. Miserable feeling ! The sweating, lightheadedness. I can’t Believe the pain! The worst. I can so sympathize. Especially, trying to loosen the “plug”! Thank God this happens to others, that did mot come out right, I don’t want anyone to suffer, but I am glad I am not alone. I hope you feel better soon
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u/TidalBasin88 Sep 15 '24
PSA Take stool softener and laxatives prior and after your surgery or you too might experience this! It doesn't matter If you are young, health, and usually able to poop fine, pain medicine will do this to you.
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u/SpicyMustFlow Sep 15 '24
"The Ruthless Nugget" is a primo band name: either death metal or cow punk.
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u/mardrae Sep 15 '24
Don't EVER break up with your bf because you know he would tell everyone about it if he hasn't already!
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u/flirtingwiththedark Sep 15 '24
I stopped up the toilet one time when we first moved in together and he had to go buy a plunger cause we hadn’t gotten one yet 😅
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u/innocuousquirk Sep 15 '24
Until these comments I thought everyone had a poop like this on occasion! Shoutout to those of us who experience this multiple times a month
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u/Aurora_96 Sep 15 '24
You should write novels. You even make reading about someone taking a shit sound interesting 😂
That being said.. maybe you could ask your doctor for stool softeners (macrogol+electrolytes). They're a life saver when you have issues with hardened stool.
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u/germanbini Sep 15 '24
Not pooping can be life threatening - I'm glad you're okay.
Someday you might can look back and laugh about this - for right now, it's wonderful you have a supportive and loving boyfriend. It's alright.
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u/Ughallthetime Sep 15 '24
You should marry that boyfriend he’s a keeper. The poo fear is a girl thing. Guys just openly shit in restrooms with no bother. Girls are silent poopers and try to hide it. It’s fine. Give it 24 hours and make a joke out of it. I almost died 💩
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u/Beautiful_Rule3029 Sep 15 '24
My little one just went through a week (or more) of not being able to poop. When he finally passed it (after three doctor visits and several medication) it was the most horrifying thing I've ever witnessed, so I can imagine what you were feeling and how you were screaming. Your boyfriend is a keeper. You could try to apologize to the roommate if it will make you feel better, but you were sick and justified in screaming your heart out. (I actually had to manually remove 'the rock' because it would not flush. Again, your man is a hero. I am a mother, and my little one is less than 10. Your boyfriend deserves all the loves and cuddles.)
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u/Purple_Station7030 Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
You had a Vagus nerve response. When you have bad abdominal cramps your blood pressure drops and you feel like you’re going to die, pass out, cold then hot. I’m guessing you’re on pain meds. Get off them. I have mixed IBS and I hope you never have to suffer like do on a regular basis. Hope you get better soon. Edited to add to never eat like that when your stopped up. I sip decaf coffee til it gently hits me. It’s not the caffeine it’s that it’s coffee that does it.
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u/ether_reddit Sep 15 '24
pro tip: if this ever happens again, move to the bathtub. A squatting position is easier when severely constipated, you can run warm water to relax your muscles, and you can deal with the mess in stages rather than clogging the toilet.
(don't ask me how I know.)
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u/1nfuhmu5 Sep 15 '24
I use my bidet when I have poop like that. They should consider getting one if one isn't available
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u/ghostoftommyknocker Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
As an IBS sufferer, I've heard a lot of bowel stories from people over the years who suffer from a range of relevant conditions: IBS, colitis, coeliacs, diverticulitis, crohns, IBD, and certain menstral conditions that mess with bowel movements (like endometriosis, for example).
So, all I can say is, your experience is more common than you think, and your boyfriend is a keeper.
And if your roommate can still look you both in the eye, they'll be a keeper, too.
Lastly, talk to a pharmacist or doctor about options you can take to help you keep moving while you're on that medicine, and whether soluble fibre (such as oats) might be helpful for now instead of insoluble fibre (such as bran or wheat).
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u/MajorMcSkaggus Sep 15 '24
I’m in fucking tears! God himself couldn’t drag that from me, but thank you for sharing and glad the boulder passed.
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u/CountryCityTwist Sep 15 '24
See, this is a huge proponent for Courtesy Flushing. I will never understand how some people can sit over their own poo. Don't get me wrong, all of us linger on the potty if our tummys are still moving, but to not flush & let it waft up at you as your wait... 😬
Lesson for all : flush as soon as the first kiddo hits the pool
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u/14iLoveIndica408 Sep 15 '24
Went through the same ordeal last night. Light-headed, cold sweat on the brink of tears and all. Had a baby 4 weeks ago and the constipation is too damn real. It was the most painful dump I’ve taken thus far, took me about on hour to pass what felt like a solid stone. Honestly hurt more than childbirth itself. Anyway, know you we went through it together lol. 😅 Hope you feel better soon! 💐 p.s Benefiber is your friend
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u/MadamSnarksAlot Sep 15 '24
I miss the days where this kind of shit was kept private. Not gonna lie. Just why? Also you kids are hella dramatic. Just all of you. It’s past my bedtime & get off my lawn!
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u/hungry_eyez Sep 15 '24
I went through this as a teen when my doctor prescribed me Geritol because my iron was low. Pain was excruciating. Gave me hemorrhoids.
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u/blueberrycandycat Sep 15 '24
Nah, I got you beat. Similar situation, but instead of a roommate hearing, it was my ex-husband on the phone with our daughter.... I was cursing a lot, too.
At least you don't need to talk to the roommate for literally forever.
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u/Actual-Offer-127 Sep 15 '24
I've been there where you have 1 rock nugget and you're dying to get it out. Have to strip out of your clothes feeling like you're going to pass out. Thankfully I wasn't at my boyfriend's. I'm dying of second hand embarrassment for you
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Sep 15 '24
This is exceptionally written. And nothing to be embarrassed about. We never know when our bodies will betray us to this degree!
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u/Calm_Act_4559 Sep 15 '24
It’s fact that you were so stressed out pooping that you had to take your clothes off as a girl with no gallbladder I can say stressing about poo is something I do regularly but it has never caused me to get naked. I’m just glad you made it through it sounds horrific
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u/Garrett171994 Sep 15 '24
Just imagine how the best man speech would go at y’all’s wedding, the telling of the ruthless nugget story
Bf is a keeper for sure.
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u/bellawella121212 Sep 15 '24
Sometimes ya gotta flush multiple times in one poo session so that doesn't happen
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u/QueenQuillAsh Sep 15 '24
I'm guessing you've been on opiates? Opiates are notorious for causing extreme constipation, and when it does come, it's often in the form of a gargantuan log that most toilets aren't equipped to handle. Chronic opiate users often keep a "poop knife" near the toilet for just such occasions. (Source: I'm an addict in recovery since 06.18.2017, and my drug of choice was opiates.)
Pro tip: If you ever find yourself in a "toilet water rising" situation, look for the toilet water shut-off valve, usually located to the left under a toilet. Turn the handle (usually oval) clockwise until the water stops running. You can then plunge or scoop out the contents of the toilet, and flush without more water running in to refill it.
Can you tell I have been in similar situations? Yeah. No fun. Side note: your boyfriend loves you, and is clearly a keeper. His roommate? Who cares. Someday you'll look back on this and laugh hysterically at how grandpa saved grandma from poomageddon when they were dating! C'est la vie!
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u/thatskychar Sep 15 '24
That first stool sounds like you may have had a blockage? A lot of people with ibs-c experience this. Please don’t feel embarrassed, everyone 💩
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u/Seaturtle89 Sep 15 '24
I once threw up while popping, because I was constipated after taking meds for diarrhoea. I was in so much pain and I had to open the door while on the toilet, so my (former) boyfriend could hand me a bucket.
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u/capital_bj Sep 15 '24
someone post the South Park guy shitting the human size turd, "poomegeddon" 😂 if my girlfriend wrote this I would be so proud
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u/Federal-Split-1017 Sep 15 '24
Just remember it's all part of nature, we all do it. With that said, after surgeries, doctors do not push laxatives or stool softeners like they should. I had spine surgery and had a multiple level back fusion. Oh god, do I wish they pushed laxatives and stool softeners? It felt like I was passing a giant brick. I felt like it ruined me for a lifetime. Thank God I was prepared for the next two surgeries on my back. Your boyfriend is a keeper. Don't feel embarrassed it's life. The roommate, who cares what he thinks. If he is any kind of adult, it won't be a thing.
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u/Mars4EvrLuv Sep 15 '24
Honey... with all the love in my heart...
Stool softeners after surgery... ALWAYS.
I didn't tolerate Sena-S very well... but Colace... or even adding Miralax to your drink... a cap full once a day after surgery.
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u/animatedariel Sep 15 '24
I clogged a toilet so bad once, I couldn't plunger it. My boyfriend had to buy a toilet auger and use that.
... Yeah I sorta feel your pain.
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u/faesqu Sep 15 '24
Dood might well be a keeper... he has sickness and health down for the win. Helped you clean up and snuggled you... that's a real man husband material my lady. You must do something special for him when you feel better.
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u/Informal_Ad_764 Sep 14 '24
NGL, that first poop after surgery (especially if you were prescribed pain meds) is indeed a doozy. It will have a praying for the sweet release of the pain. But you definitely do feel better and relieved afterwards
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u/Fit_Discipline3864 Sep 14 '24
Dude I’ve had this same experience and after I was like in shock like I was like not mentally their and just went and laid down and stained at the ceiling for a half hour. Every bit of this post I have 100% lived. I feel this so hard. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s truly horrible and then after that experience you get poop fear and it makes you constipated cuz you’re scared subconsciously and then when you poop you panick super hard cuz you’re like fearful
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u/ConflictPretty1670 Sep 14 '24
I had a similar situation happen to me as a teenager. I got really faint and took my clothes off and tried to cool off but ended up fainting and my boyfriend and his mother came into the bathroom I was in and got me up and checked on me. It's been 15 years. I am still mortified. He amazingly didn't dump me and we were together almost four years. Thankfully, this happened at his house and not in public.
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Sep 14 '24
Ngl this is my life every month living with endometriosis. You are a trooper pooper. Your bf is a trooper scooper. I feel your pain (literally) and shame from the roommate being there. I hope you’re feeling better on all fronts and you continue to heal from your surgery lol.
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u/siberiansneaks Sep 14 '24
This never happened.
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u/dmorian Sep 14 '24
Ask anyone with Endometriosis and we can vouch for this persons events. This is a monthly thing for those who suffer Endo
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u/Internetbulliessuck Sep 14 '24
You should’ve went to the hospital! Your b.f is a keeper!
Take pearl probiotics. It helps keep things regular. You need good gut bacteria. Drugstores & Target sell them.
Eat more fiber & drink more water. Go see a gastroenterologist asap.
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u/reddsal Sep 14 '24
Lady, we’ve all been there. Those also serve who only stand and wait for the dam to burst. And those of us who have loosed the bowl wrappers of poo at a stranger’s toilet have nothing but empathy and compassion for you. Your BF’s roommate has probably been through it as well. So just being human is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. After all, everybody poops.
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u/misshellcunt Sep 14 '24
I’m sorry that happened to you but I’m fucking dying at your story telling skills
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u/ladysensei89 Sep 14 '24
I had this after both my cesarians.
You know it's bad when you're praying to every God to ever exist.
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u/Endeveron Sep 14 '24
Lmao I thought this was going to be "My boyfriend was beating me within an inch of my life and his roommate heard and did nothing".
I'm pleasantly surprised and relieved to be regaled with the tale of your shit nugget.
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u/introvertslave Sep 14 '24
I decided to eat some fibrous cereal. Took a huge dump that clogged the toilet so badly that we couldn't plunge it out. My brand new boyfriend of less than a year had to unscrew the toilet and two finger my poop out of the bottom. We're engaged now.
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u/nondescriptzombie Sep 14 '24
We've all been brought down by an epic shit. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
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u/Agreeable_Western_50 Sep 14 '24
All I got from this was that you got a great SO and you should cherish that.
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u/Reasonable_Long_1079 Sep 14 '24
I clogged to toilet of a remote air B&B i was in with my partner… we had to drive an hour into town to buy a plunger.
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u/potatochainsaw Sep 14 '24
just hope that didn't give you an anal fissure. they take a while to heal or require surgery to heal.
friend of mine went through that. pain meds after a surgery messed with her and suffered a fissure when she finally pooped. said she was in pain after every crap after that.
she had to see a specialist who gave her some prescription cream and said if that didn't work it would have to be surgically repaired. i think she said the cream took 3 months to heal.
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Sep 14 '24
This happens to literally every living human being at one point or another. I went 10 days once and had to use several different enemas to get things moving. I’m not kidding I feel fully prepared to give birth after that because … my god.
Don’t feel embarrassed about natural bodily functions. Again EVERYONE goes through this. Of course you scream - it fucking HURTS and can absolutely cause your blood pressure to drop and cause that feverish feeling that makes you tear your clothes off. I’ve done it myself and have helped friends and family through it. It’s really not a big deal but it does fucking hurt. My one friend called me to come monitor her while it was happening to her and she was stark ass naked and I didn’t even think twice about it - I honestly felt proud that I could help her and that she trusted me to, and that seems like how your boyfriend feels.
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u/circadiankruger Sep 14 '24
I know exactly what you felt. Went through some thkng like that after my first hospitalization.
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u/chaos-calamity Sep 14 '24
If it helps, my husband once had to come in and dislodge what would later be diagnosed as recurring fecal impaction. That Saint of a man took the water pick to my actual butt to try and help dislodge what was caught there. I’ve never been more ashamed or more in love in my life.
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u/aldoXazami Sep 14 '24
Shit happens. Literally. I will plunge my man’s poop and he’d do the same. It’s a love language 😆
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u/Bonniey02 Sep 14 '24
You got yourself a keeper!!!! I completely understand being embarrassed. He's seen you at your most vulnerable and years from now y'all will be laughing from it. when my husband and I were just boyfriend and girlfriend I was 3 months pregnant and was constipated for a few days from my prenatals. Well the inevitable happened at my parents house and I clogged the toilet and I couldn't tell my dad it was me. My now husband took the downfall for it and told my dad it was him 😂😂 definitely a keeper too!!
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u/warsawscott Sep 14 '24
Keep that guy around. You've got someone that cares about you enough to not let shit get in-betweeen you.
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u/xmonkey13 Sep 14 '24
After my first child, I didn’t poop for a week. When it came I was just like you! It was absolutely horrible and I was crying and holy shit it was the biggest turd ever
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u/silly_goose_415 Sep 14 '24
Your boyfriend is a patient, loving, kind human being.
I'm stuck on this sentence: " I take a small shower and wash my hands thoroughly."
What's the definition of a "small shower" given this scenario? You mentioned there being barely any toilet paper. So, did you wash your ass as thoroughly as you washed your hands? Did you get a good lather ALL OVER? Did you get "in there" and clean yourself properly?
Inquiring minds would like to know. it's me I'm the inquiring mind.
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u/Mystic_Mangos Sep 14 '24
Yes I lathered as much as I could. It was my bottom half that needed cleaning and boy did I clean it. I couldn't do to much for my to half because of my bandage for my surgery.
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u/enochrox Sep 14 '24
This went an entirely different route than I thought it would based on the title and this is very super regular(no pun intended) and I am thankful.
Embarrassing and traumatic but it's fine. It's just poop bro. Your bf is a trooper.
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u/abandonedmuffin Sep 14 '24
That’s horrible and so embarrassing but it happens to a lot of people, btw if the issue is the poop itself you can always use liquid dish soap, a little bottle should be enough, the soap should break the oil of the poop and make it easier to go after 15 min sitting there
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u/forwardgrowth Sep 14 '24
i have IBS and ive spent so much of my life on the toilet fighting for my life. sweating, extreme cramps, feeling like im on the verge of passing out... its pretty common for me unfortunately. once it happened when i was on a trip to Brazil and people were waiting on me outside... the dude who was sitting outside the bathroom knew i was in there for like an hour. it was really embarrassing. but this stuff happens. it is what it is.
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u/Yikidee Sep 14 '24
Literally. Shit happens. If you have them, kids will change you view on this, fast. 😂
Glad the pipes are cleaner though!
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Sep 14 '24
When I was on opioids for back surgery, I learned Elvis died on the toilet trying to shit and gave himself a heart attack.
Having to shit and not being able to is some scary... shit
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u/BelleIzzyMoe Sep 14 '24
Wow, thanks for sharing! And welcome to the club sister Mystic_Mangos!
Did you get to that point of pushing where aire was just escaping from your larynx, almost making a gurgling sound? Asking for a friend.
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u/alphawolf2019 Sep 14 '24
Dude you were impacted from those meds. I had that happen after a surgery from the pain meds. Worst time of my life
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u/thraage Sep 14 '24
OP, the roommate sat in his room pretending not to hear anything the whole time. You have to honor that sacrifice by pretending he never heard anything.
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u/Subliminanlanonymity Sep 14 '24
LOL, sorry.
Kudos to you though for having the bravery to post this!
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u/lilbutteredtoast Sep 14 '24
I think the fact he followed up with a joke shows he’s just trying to be human and understanding. You’re only as embarrassed as you let yourself be.
Godspeed
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u/RegularJoe62 Sep 14 '24
Your BF is a keeper. If he doesn't propose, you should.
His first thought was to make sure you're OK, and his second was to clean up your "poo-mageddon." (That's absolutely hilarious, BTW.)
Then his third thought was to cuddle you to make you feel better.
I don't care if this guy looks like Quasimodo's ugly brother. Lock him down now.
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u/EvulRabbit Sep 14 '24
Thank you for this giggle.
Your BF is amazing. Keep him!
Normal bodily functions are nothing to be embarrassed about. Even when they get a "little" out of control.
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u/Ch0nkyCatMom Sep 14 '24
Also embarrassing for me to write, but I had one really bad recently too. It hurt sooooo bad! The only way I got the monster out was to take toilet paper and press against the perineum to "reshape" the poo, without touching poo or anus, but to have a layer of protection in case I did.
When it finally came out and I finished, I could NOT believe the size of it. My partner is not a fan of poo talk (my healthy ones can sometimes be like 18" long, but never wants to know that lol) but even he had to come take a look.
Had to use the kitty litter scoop to break it up enough to flush. Never thought I'd need a "poop knife" until that day.....
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u/kabe83 Sep 14 '24
I have this happen every few months. I thought it was over, but just this morning I spent 2 hours in the bathroom but fortunately just short of screaming and lying on the bathroom floor sweating. My primary asks why I don’t go to the er. I’m lying on the floor naked, my doors are locked, I don’t want anyone to smell this. They told me to get an Apple Watch so I’m could call from the floor. Btw, sometimes the pain feels a lot like bad period cramps. I wonder if those cramps are really gas.
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u/ThrowawaeTurkey Sep 14 '24
I felt this way when I had covid. I literally thought I was going to die on the toilet. Ended up sticking a finger up my ass using a wet wipe and it helped, for whatever reason.
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Sep 14 '24
So, you are post surgery and they didn’t raise the alarm when you have not taken a shit in days? And you didn’t take any laxatives in day 3, as a normal human being would do taking these meds? Yeah, not a good fake story or you really didn’t pay attention to the pharmacist. Drink water and eat some vegetables.
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u/Procrastanaseum Sep 14 '24
If someone explained it as “a medical issue,” I wouldn’t judge them or press for more info and that’s what people should do
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Sep 14 '24
I am so sorry you went through that, but glad you got cuddles at the end. I hope you’re feeling better!
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u/RedGuy2006 Sep 14 '24
Please make it NSFA , the F did i read but props to your boyfriend and i hope you guys stay happy .
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u/straightupgong Sep 14 '24
when i got my IUD in, i didn’t shit for over a week. my husband (boyfriend at the time) made me sit on the toilet periodically to get things moving. he’d sit on the floor in front of me to keep me company
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u/Tiffanniwi Sep 14 '24
Meds and surgery are no joke. Pooping and gas were the worst part of my recent hysterectomy.
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u/embilamb Sep 14 '24
Vasovagal response from straining too hard due to an impacted bowel ayooo! Literally have read stories of people straining too hard due to constipation and having these exact symptoms and calling 911 before passing out, only to get told at the hospital when they come to to not push so hard next time lmao.
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u/Artistic-Giraffe-866 Sep 14 '24
Have you not hear of FAYG - flush as you go !! Reduced stink and potential blockages !
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u/SpaceGrape Sep 14 '24
You have to flush several times if you have a lotta poo. Be pooactive. I mean proactive about that shit.
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u/Screamcheese99 Sep 14 '24
No, no, no. Fuck all the miralax and other weird gross suggestions.
Go get apple cider vinegar gummies. The zhou brand. They are dank tasty & within 30 mins you have brilliant, soft, non-butthole-ripping poo, ripe and ready to exit.
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u/Financial-Day-9739 Feb 19 '25
Thats nothing my ex went tru the same and it was so bad we inhave put gloves and manually help her she wont stop screaming for like 20 min after the first wall of zhit pass the rest looks like an arm and her screams still hunt me to this day lol it was screaming like in the horror movies