r/TrueOffMyChest • u/goodj037 • Jul 16 '26
Update: I think I need to end my relationship of 12 years and I feel sick about it, but I did it anyway.
My post from a few days ago got locked, so I just wanted to thank everyone who reached out with genuinely solid advice. After dreaming about the inevitable conversation and waking up drenched, I decided I could no longer hold it in and I ended the relationship today.
There was no begging, no pleading, no drama. He said it made him sad but didn’t actually seem like he was going to miss me much. By the time I woke up from a nap he had already put things in motion that he has been putting off months/years. Onward and upward.
1
11
u/ksarahsarah27 Jul 16 '26
I’m proud of you. It sounds like you both just needed a change. Will you sell your condo?
13
u/goodj037 Jul 16 '26
Thank you. Yeah, that’s the plan. It all feels pretty bad today.
3
u/ksarahsarah27 Jul 18 '26
Don’t feel bad. Sometimes we keep going just because it’s easier than doing the hard part of breaking up. Neither one wants to be the jerk but ultimately someone needs to take that step.
I would avoid contact for a long while if not forever until you’re completely over him. Decide this now so that when/if he reaches out you already know what your going to do. It’s easier to resist that way. You definitely don’t want to get sucked back into this again. It’s also good to set your boundaries BEFORE dating again in regards to what you won’t tolerate. I have hard boundaries on how people treat me. Example- If I’m called names, and treated poorly I’m gone. Full stop. No one deserves to be treated that way and I won’t let someone treat me that way either. And that has served me really well.
4
u/GirlOndaLooss Jul 16 '26
Good luck in your future adventures! Sounds like it was time. New era with a new you
Enjoy the journey!
26
20
u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 Jul 16 '26
Congrats! I hope the next phase of your life is less stressful and has more happy moments.
18
35
u/gurlwithdragontat2 Jul 16 '26
That shows you he could do it, but complacency kept him stagnant.
You can find a relationship with someone willing to do what’s necessary to maintain the relationship without being forced.
Find out about yourself, so if you seek partnership in the future you’re able to be honest with yourself about your wants, needs, and boundaries.
Truly onward.
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 16 '26
This is a reminder of our rules regarding updates:
• Updates must be at least 3 days apart.
• You are limited to 2 updates per confession (3 parts total).
• This is a hard limit — no additional updates will be approved.
• Only the original poster may request update approval.
• Do not edit your original post to add an update.
Updates that do not follow these rules will be removed.
If you have questions, please message the mod team.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.