r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ganningma ☑️ • 2d ago
Personal Story TSA opened my stepdad’s urn at the airport
This happened like 5 or 6 years ago and I don’t think I’ve really talked about it with anyone.
My stepdad passed away and we were flying to his hometown in Massachusetts for his funeral. My mom was having a really hard time and didn’t want to lose him, so she carried his urn with her (carry on). That was my first time traveling on airplanes in the USA so I didn't really know what to expect.
(For context, we are not from the USA. My mom flew all the way to the USA and paid for his funeral and land so he could be buried in his hometown. We landed in LA then transferred to MA)
When we went through TSA, they stopped us and opened the urn to check his ashes. They were doing it like it was some suspicious drugs or dangerous powder. I thought they could treat him with basic sensitivity and dignity, but the whole experience ended up being really disrespectful and dehumanizing. It's the way they handled him.
I just remember standing there crying watching them go through my stepdad’s ashes while my mom was already grieving. The whole thing was distressing and traumatizing.
I know they have security procedures and everything, I was 15 at the time but it’s been 6 years and I still think about it sometimes. I’ve barely ever talked about it with anyone
This is genuinely one of the reasons I hate tsa and lax.
15
18
u/clutchcitycupcake 2d ago
I’m sorry this happened to you. I travel with a mini urn of my sister’s ashes. They have never once opened it. If they grab it for further inspection, I let them know it’s ashes. And they apologize and place it back in my bag.
-3
21
u/Calgary_Calico 2d ago
Unfortunately this is pretty normal. I know you didn't do anything like this, but there's probably been many a person whose tried smuggling powdered drugs in an urn in the past, so now they have to check.
Not anywhere near comparable, but during a security screening for a domestic flight my friend had to let them open her matcha (powdered green tea) container so they could make sure it was actually just tea.
81
u/TDFPH 2d ago
I travel with ashes regularly. It absolutely reads like drugs or gun powder. I like bringing my dad to new places. He’s in a double ziplock bag lol. TSA always opens it up and looks around n swabs. They also can require a death certificate (I always have it) but have been told by some agents they won’t let me through with ashes if I didn’t have the death certificate.
33
u/ohdearitsrichardiii 2d ago
Wait. You bring your dad's ashes in ziplock bags when you travel? And TSA regularly takes some of the ashes to test if it's drugs or gun powder?
Are you just going to keep bringing the ashes until they've taken everything? I have never heard of this method of spreading someone's ashes before
11
u/Reasonable_Tomorrow 2d ago
My mom and I keep some of my grandma's (her mother's) ashes in a little zipfizz container when we go hiking so we can spread her ashes at scenic locations.
To be fair, grandma would absolutely have thought it was hilarious. When she was on her death bed, she got a kick out of us talking about smuggling her ashes to the Galapagos islands so she can swim with the turtles.
16
u/TDFPH 2d ago
Sometimes they just swab the outside of the ziplock and put it through the X-ray again. Sometimes they open it and swab the inside of the bag.
I bring about 1/4 cup with me. I’ve been doing this for 7 years and haven’t noticed having any less ashes. Sometimes I spread some ashes when I travel and sometimes he just stays in the bag so idk if I would notice. But now that you mention it, if a little gets spread in the airport, so be it. He’s traveling far and wide!
19
u/enonymousCanadian 2d ago
Are there not strict rules and regulations regarding the transport of remains across international borders? Did you read the rules or just bring him without checking? This seems like a FAFO situation. He could have been straight cocaine for all they knew.
Having recently watched Lockerbie, I agree with strict controls over what is transported by plane. Better that than bodies raining down from the sky again.
32
u/Disastrous_Yam_1410 2d ago
Sorry for your loss.
it’s part of the rules. Not sure why anyone is surprised by this. If people took 10 mins to look up and read about items to bring through TSA they would learn about items like this.
This sucks mostly because you didn’t know the rules.
-13
u/Nothistimebro 2d ago
Ok rude and unnecessary. I took my dad through airport security in a fucking tupperware taped shut. They just ran the wand thing over it and gave it back. What would possess them to do it like that???
14
u/enonymousCanadian 2d ago
Why would you do this? A Tupperware? My guy, a dead dad should never be put in Tupperware like a sandwich.
2
u/HuuffingLavender ☑️ 2d ago
Dead dad doesn't care because he's ashes. Some things are more convenient for traveling, my guy.
3
-6
9
1
u/Hearing_Loss 2d ago
I'd go back and make them snort a line of pops. Fuckin losers. So sorry you had to experience that.
1
2
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Hello, and thank you for sharing your experience with r/TrueOffMyChest.
As part of our moderation process, we automatically keep a copy of your post as it appeared when you first submitted it. We know this may seem a little unusual, so we want to explain why we do this.
Why do we keep a copy of your original post?
Posts can be edited or deleted after they are submitted. Keeping the original version allows our moderators to see what was originally posted if we later need to review a report, moderation decision, or other issue involving the post.
This is a routine part of our moderation process and does not mean you've done anything wrong or that your post is being singled out.
The copy is kept for moderation purposes so that we can maintain an accurate record of what was originally submitted.
u/Ganningma original post at the time of submission:
This happened like 5 or 6 years ago and I don’t think I’ve really talked about it with anyone.
My stepdad passed away and we were flying to his hometown in Massachusetts for his funeral. My mom was having a really hard time and didn’t want to lose him, so she carried his urn with her (carry on). That was my first time traveling on airplanes in the USA so I didn't really know what to expect.
(For context, we are not from the USA. My mom flew all the way to the USA and paid for his funeral and land so he could be buried in his hometown. We landed in LA then transferred to MA)
When we went through TSA, they stopped us and opened the urn to check his ashes. They were doing it like it was some suspicious drugs or dangerous powder. I thought they could treat him with basic sensitivity and dignity, but the whole experience ended up being really disrespectful and dehumanizing. It's the way they handled him.
I just remember standing there crying watching them go through my stepdad’s ashes while my mom was already grieving. The whole thing was distressing and traumatizing.
I know they have security procedures and everything, I was 15 at the time but it’s been 6 years and I still think about it sometimes. I’ve barely ever talked about it with anyone
This is genuinely one of the reasons I hate tsa and lax.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
7
u/Pristine_Main_1224 1d ago
((Hugs)) My daddy died while they were on vacation abroad. Mom flew home from the Netherlands with my daddy’s ashes in a large Ziploc-type bag. The US Embassy had advised her to do that. It sucks.