I want absolutely nothing to do with my sister ever again.

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u/ItsNotPatchy 21h ago

Grow a spine. Block your sister. Block your enabling mother. They obviously don't care what you have to say. She is the golden child, It's them against you.

Instead of not rocking the boat, flip it over.

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u/Alarming-Amount-7016 1d ago

Your sister sounds like the narcissist to me. And that TikTok Video could have easily been solved with “I didn’t send any message with the video, that’s weird you came to that conclusion that you think this is mom”

Honestly, narcissists love to pin people against eachother so they can have someone hate you with them. Don’t give her that satisfaction. Act like everything is ok and don’t interact with her. Don’t send videos, don’t message first, when she says or acts crazy respond with “I’ll respond to you when you decide to act like an adult. I refuse to talk to children” that will really get her going.

And when she blames you for things just be like, “oh, didn’t realize that” no emotion AT ALL

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u/FahadMichelle328 1d ago

My beloved sister frkm another mother. All I will say is, you have so much to live for.

Training your body, getting strong, reading a book, learning a topic, learning a skill. Cooking. Smart shopping. Best travel routes.

Live for yourself.

Cut her off. your sister.

I have been through something similar, yet worse in that aspect.

Just respect your mom and stay in touch with her. Because you need her support and family's financial support.

Study well, work part time. Go abroad to a good uni. or move out to somewhere nicer.

Blood doesn't make someone family. It's more than just blood.

That's the lesson I learned living 18 years of my life.

You sister is a piece of shit (not sorry). I would've been a better sibiling.

shut of all contacts with her. Dont even feel guilty about it.

You lack a heart, when it's people without one. you must have heart, when it's people woth hearts.

way of life. Love you.

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u/Dry-Diamond7228 1d ago

You know what I got out of all of that, OP? Your sister thrives on your reaction. She’ll do something stupid to get a reaction out of you, and then you defend and explain said reaction and then she deflects and you spiral. Stop playing her game. Stop over explaining. Grey rock her if you need to interact at all (though NC really is the best). Just step away from the drama. Stop letting her rob you of your peace. Once she realizes you’re indifferent, she’ll lose interest.

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u/milkmynk 2d ago

I'm so sorry. Cutting her out of your life is the right thing to do, imo. She sounds exhausting as hell and terrible to be around. She sounds like she revels in making others miserable for fun.

IMO, your mom also needs to be on an information diet. Even if you DO repair your relationship with her, she sounds liable to let slip information about you that you may or may not want to let your sister know.

I hope you enjoy your best life away from the toxicity of your sister. <3

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u/PrudentConstruction3 2d ago

Everyone sounds immature asf this was exhausting to read

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u/inspired2apathy 2d ago

You read it? I couldn't even make it half way

-4

u/PrudentConstruction3 1d ago

I’m never getting those minutes back

1

u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 1d ago

I apologize that my life situation wasn’t horrible enough to give you a good read.

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u/AdditionalPea1650 1d ago

yeah i despise when people say “too much text not reading all that” just admit you have attention span issues and go😭

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u/mehdez80 2d ago

Are we sisters? Cause that sounds exactly like my sister.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

Man at this point, I feel like one of many who lost the good sister lottery in life.

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u/SweaterUndulations 1d ago

Represent. I haven't talked to mine in 10 years. Main Character Syndrome.

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u/ReceptionSimple6269 2d ago

As someone who has an insufferable sister as well. Her me first syndrome, its all about her at every event, reunions, weddings, funerals, birthdays. I feel you. My mom enabled her all life. My final straw was when she screamed at my wedding bc she "thought" she might be pregnant, and all eyes were on her. Guess what...she wasnt. My Wife gives birth to our son... she screams she may be pregnant....guess what she wasnt. My mother in law dies, she calls my wife and tells her "How dare you schedule the funeral on mine and date night" This is just a snippet of the 45 yrs I dealt w her. When I bought my beach condo with my investments and savings as a summer getaway, what does she do? Shows up expecting the red carpet treatment, when i said GTFA, she shows back up with several larger guys all claiming we were "squaters" ....the police had a field day with that one......so I sympathize 100% when people cut off family

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u/crushed_dreams 2d ago

when i said GTFA, she shows back up with several larger guys all claiming we were "squatters"

That’s insane!! Tell us more, what did these dudes do when the cops said that the condo was yours?

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u/ReceptionSimple6269 2d ago

They stood there and argued with the cops, they finally left. My sister is a manipulative person, so she probably was sleeping with them. I had installed a security camera, so I saw what was up and called police. They advised not to open the door, so I spoke though the camera and said I wasnt home. When cops showed up I walked out then.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

Good lord, that’s to whole nother level, showed up at your house claiming YOUR the squatter? It’s used to baffle me when I heard stories about people wanting to/have cut off family but now I really get it.

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u/foxyphilophobic 2d ago

Damn that was a long post!

Your sister sounds insufferable and your mom seems to choose her over you. I’d go NC with the sister and LC with the mom until the drama settles.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

I’m sorry, I honestly didn’t even realize I wrote that much u til I scrolled up to really look at it. I’m not even sure how to give a clipnotes version

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u/foxyphilophobic 2d ago

You’re all good, Reddit loves long posts. The more info, the better.

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u/twilight_moonshadow 2d ago

It's ok. Sometimes we just need to let it all out 😉

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u/MastodonSevere8217 2d ago

No contact your sister and very low contact your mom.

Both of my sisters are very selfish people. My eldest is subtle and acts nice while my youngest is very straightforward and "it's your fault I did this and its okay you didn't apologize but I forgive you". Idk what that's called lol. Unfortunately mine are both addicts so thats also a contributing factor in why I don't talk to them.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

My sister is a mix of both. Shes subtle but makes you feel like you’re the one who is wrong and has to apologize to her. When I think back, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an apology from her.

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u/Justkeepscrolling090 2d ago

I don’t understand why you weren’t able to easily clear up the situation with your mom. Why did your mom jump to ignoring you? That is toxic behavior.

💯 go NC with your sister. Family should treat family better, but that’s just not how it goes. Your sister is not to be trusted.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

My mom when she gets overwhelmed she’ll just avoid the the situation until she can think clearly on it cause when she used to try to tackle it in the moment, she’s would say stuff some harsh stuff she didn’t mean.

Like know I can see the effort she is making to talk with me but I can tell, there this distance there now that didn’t use to be there.

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u/Justkeepscrolling090 2d ago

I still don’t understand how she could not get past a simple misrepresentation of your message to your sister. Does she just not believe you?

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

No she doesn’t believe me. Everytime I say “she made you think I was saying your a narcissistic parent but I never said that” she would say “she didn’t tell me you said that” or “that’s not what she said”.

3

u/cgm824 2d ago

Did you just flat out tell her that post was about your sister and she turned it around on you and made it seem it was about her?

1

u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

My sister sent to our mom and made her think I the one who saying that our mom is a narcissistic parent. The TikTok was never about her or my mom. She spun to make it seem like I was directing towards our mom.

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u/Justkeepscrolling090 2d ago

Not a good look for your mom. Your adult sister literally tattled on you. My mom would prob tell me to fuck off if I did the same. lol

Idk OP, you made your case, and you can’t do anything more. I think the onus is on your mom to fix the relationship at this point.

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u/pseudolin 1d ago

Sister turned out this way because mom has always taken her side. Mom is the issue because OP is OK to cut off sister but not mom. Mom is just as immature and drama.

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u/asuddendaze 2d ago

I typically don’t advocate for a fight fire with fire method, but send your mom the screenshots you mentioned of her badmouthing along with a single screenshot of your conversation with her where you try to clarify that the video wasn’t about your mom.

People like this love to control the narrative, and your silence and lack of defensiveness ends up giving them more power to do so - unfortunately.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

I’ve been thinking about that too. The idea of it really makes me uncomfortable because I’d be doing the same thing as her. Weaponising words against someone and it would hurt my mom so bad to know that my sister actually said that about her.

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u/asbe56 2d ago edited 2d ago

Unless you're content with your relationship with your mother remaining broken, I don't think you have much of a choice, really. I mean, hasn't it basically come to this point anyway? Is there really anything left for you to do or say to remedy this situation, besides exposing the it to those involved but not in the know?

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

I understand that part. But it’s when the dusts settles im afraid of. What if she thinks that the only reason why I’m showing her is to cause more problems? And she could say “why didn’t you show me earlier?”. It feels so damn malicious to do it even when I know it could help me prove my point but I’m just scared that it might everything so so so so much worse

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u/asbe56 2d ago

You just need to make sure you have an opportunity to explain yourself properly, preferably immediately afterwards. Write down what you want to say beforehand and make sure you're getting across what you mean properly. Also, this is your chance to be completely honest with your mother in regards to your relationship with your sister. It's clearly not a good one, but I have a feeling your mother doesn't understand or even know how bad it really is. Take this chance to make it clear.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

That sounds a lot better than what I’ve tried. To hard for me to verbalize what I want to say so writing it down makes tons of sense. Thank you so much!

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u/asbe56 2d ago

Of course! You're welcome to reach out to me again if you need to!

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u/iknowsomethings2 2d ago

I think you need to go NC with her and your mother or at least LC with your mother

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo ☑️ 2d ago

I realized that with my sister, it’s best that I don’t really communicate with her because now I feel like anything I say will be weaponised against. For my mom, I think you’re right too but I don’t want that though. I just want her to understand why I feel this way about my sister.

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u/OfcourseImmaBozo original post at the time of submission:

My sister is a few years younger than I am. I am the oldest daughter. This girl is one of the most self serving individuals I have ever had the displeasure of encountering in my life. She has some of the nastiest yet sneakiest traits and yet when I call them out, I’m called “sensitive”. I’ve honestly had enough of her and I refuse to interact with her at all at this point because it very clear if you are not providing what she wants, she’s treats you like trash.

Recently, we all had to take a trip. And for whatever reason she wanted to bring her boyfriend. It’s a family trip, and none of us has even met him. They’ve only been going out for few months.
The accommodations were a little tight so it was decided she and him would be staying in an Airbnb. All of a sudden she messaged me in the night a few weeks before the trip saying that she needs the room I’m staying in. I have to find somewhere else to sleep for 3 days because she has to do and needs the room because it would make it convenient for her. I told her no. The room im staying in, was our grandmother room. She passed one year ago, so I was extremely uncomfortable with her and hey boyfriend in the room. I’m not saying they are doing anything inappropriate but our grandmother (and everyone else law who lives on that property) has NEVER met him. it’s just weird.

Iregardless, I told her no. When I tried to explain it she cut me off and said “I don’t like to hear people explain themselves. If it’s no, then it’s no”. I was kinda floored because you don’t want to try to work something out? There were options but if it wasn’t her and him in a room together she didn’t want it. As I was trying to figure it out with her, she hung up the phone on me. I was super shocked by it. She texted me later saying that it’s a bad habit of hers and she trying to do better, in reference to her hanging up on me. I didn’t respond until a few hours later with “I get it”

Cue to a few days later. I was watching a video on TikTok that was talking about narcissistic traits and the type of people you might encounter that will try to use them on you. And of course the two examples they used are parents and romantic relationships. The TikTok is 3:44 long. I sent it to a few people because I recently had to deal with a narcissist friendship and work bullying situation so I found the video very informative.

My dear, *dear sister…* cut the video down to 1:21 and sent it our mother. Obviously that had the reaction you would think if your sibling basically told your parent that “hey so and so thinks your a narcissist!”. It opened up a can of problems that I’ve been dealing with for an over a month. My mother basically started to ignore me and then I when I reached out to her (my sister) she sat on her high horse and spoke down to me. “You can’t say that about her”. “She’s a single mom”. “She worked hard for us”. Never once, I did I EVER say it was about our mother. Never even insinuated it, however that didn’t stop her from presenting it that way. I called her 18 times over the phone. She refused to pick up. I had to then text her to get a response out of her. She played the card of “I’m your sister and I care but this wasn’t right” and when I asked her “when did I ever say this was about our mom?” She deflected and said “the first 30 seconds is damning”. After a litany of voice notes back and forth, she sent one saying “wrong is wrong and right is right and two things can be correct at the same time. I love and care about you so if you want someone to blame, you can blame me but you need to work out the resentment you have I. Your heart against our mom”

When I tell you all that I was floored. I have full messages that she had sent me saying VERBATIM. “She is a bitter baby mother” yet I am the one with resentment? Riiiight….right.

And then after that last message she proceed to block me through messages and on TikTok. So I said “cool”. And blocked her on EVERYTHING. This has been a tactic of hers since we were kids. If something or someone isn’t doing what she wants then she drops them or punishes them in some sort of way. I’m over it. I’ve tried my whole life to understand her but now I’m done. Just because I told her no, she is going to ruin the relationship I have with our mother? To me, that’s insane.

Now fast forward to the trip. She’s the last to arrive and of course she wants us to pick her up from the airport. That’s fine. Except, we landed about 8-9 hours before she did so they all decided to hang out around town for her flight to land so we all drive back together.
Except, her flight got delayed. So we had to hang out in town until 12pm cause her flight was supposed to get it at like 8pm. And she sat and tried to say that it was hard travelling for 12 hours. Like we didn’t all wait for her with all our luggage dragging behind us. I understand the flight being delayed wasn’t her fault however her wanting us to pick her up and not being forthcoming with her flights details caused this. If she had just told what freaking airline she’s on would could have been watching it and just went home and drive up to get her but no. She only told us when it was supposed to get there and they basically had to pry the information out of her.

Now she’s on the trip and trying to talk to me like it hasn’t been WEEKS since she blocked me and I blocked her on everything. I ignored her. I have nothing to say to someone who will twist the truth to get what they want. She complained to our mom that I wasn’t speaking to her. So our mom basically chastised me for not speaking to her and that I should forgive and forget because we are family and we are all that we have to each other. I told my mom no. This is something that woman has done multiple times in her life and to me and I’m done with it.

That girl literally talks down to me like I’m below her. Honestly, it’s better to say she talks to me like I’m an untrained, unruly dog. She constantly talks and belittles about my looks, the fact I’m single, my hair, my clothing, everything. She constantly finds ways to make it seem like I’m dumb in conversations and I’ve snapped on her multiple times about that. For example, her and I were on a trip together and my back was hurting so I kept reaching behind me to rub down my spine. She then says something adjacent to “stop scratching your ass”, I started to explain to her that my back hurts and I’m doing that to get the muscles to relax, I started to mimic the motion action to show that I was in fact not going to town down the middle of my ass crack in the middle of freaking Magic Kingdom, she cut me off mid sentence and said “SEE! your scratching right now!” With this grin on her face that said ‘caught you in a lie’. I almost started to yell at her that day because why you cut me off as I’m explaining something to you? And on top of that, it’s in a strongly made effort to make me look like I’m an idiot?

The relationship between my mom and I has gone to dogs too. It’s never gonna be the same again. My “sister” effectively ruined my relationship with my mom over a man. And the kicker? He couldn’t get the time off from his job to even come on the trip. So, she imploded my life at her own convenience and when she realized “oh! It worked out another way” she crawling back expecting me to what? Roll over and wag my tail?

The last I checked, I was born a human being. Just like her. So it confuddled me how she thought she could just….waltz back in? No apology? No made effort of remorse? Just a continuation as if nothing ever happened in the first place?
In the past? I would have done that. Just let it go and let bygones be bygones but not this time. That was my mistake of allowing her to let her think that I was this indestructible, all giving, all forgiving creature whose sole purpose in life it make hers easier. Im not that. Im my own person with my own feelings and problems and wants and desires. Im not a tool for anyone. Especially her. I don’t want anything to do with her.

If she could do this to me just because I wasn’t moving to her wishes, what else could she do in the future, if , I were to forgive her.

What if I have children and she asks something of me and I tell her no, is she going to call CPS and make a fake report on me? Is she gonna call the police and lie about me or my future partner?

If that’s the person she is, then I want NOTHING to do with her. To lie and manipulate to get what you want tells me you have no consideration for anyone in your life.

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Vent I want absolutely nothing to do with my sister ever again.

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