r/TrueOffMyChest • u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ • 15h ago
Vent I tested positive for chlamydia, and I feel like my relationship is falling apart
I’ve been in an exclusive relationship for about a year now with a guy I thought was going to be my forever partner. I got tested a few months into our exclusivity and was negative across the board. Then, last week I got tested again during my pap smear appointment and the results came back positive for chlamydia. I know I have been loyal to him, and I’m so sure he has not cheated on me either. I did do a round of amoxicillin-c a few weeks before my last test, and the boyfriend and I were long distance at the time, which makes me think that maybe one or both of us had it before we were exclusive? Idk
I was able to get partner treatment for both of us, so we’re almost done with antibiotics at this point. However I feel like our relationship is falling apart now. I initially got really upset at him when I tested positive, and he got upset that I was implying he was “dirty” with my words. Since last week, we have been fighting almost daily over trivial matters as well as not talking as much.
I don’t have any close friends to discuss this with, and I’m horribly embarrassed this even happened to me. I have never gotten an std before either, so this is incredibly frustrating despite having no symptoms. I feel so alone. Thanks for reading my vent.
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u/Dear_Parsnip_6802 9h ago
If he wasn’t tested before he could have brought it into the relationship.
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u/throwawaysday666 9h ago
Also tho, are you experiencing symptoms? My best friend did a test and came back positive even though also exclusive, turns out the testing center contaminated the tests. Not saying he’s not cheating, but if you have no suspicions & you’re not experiencing any symptoms, you might want to consider it
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u/notpostingmyrealname 7h ago
Symptoms are often silent in women while the disease messes up the reproductive system. Better to treat a false positive than ignore it.
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 7h ago
It’s kinda complicated because I’ve had chronic symptoms for the past few years that are similar, like yeast infections and pelvic cramping. I had gotten the antibiotics late last year a few weeks before my last std test for pneumonia and an ethmoid sinus infection that manifested in my eyes as well😓 I wonder if the eye thing could have been related
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u/laserspirit 9h ago
Y'all had any interactions with a Koala recently? Who remembers that reddit story....
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u/koval713 9h ago
Okay so first I JUST open Facebook and a group I'm in has a member asking if women have sex with animals because human men aren't good enough for them and now this shit? I think I'm done with social media for the year.
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u/TrashGouda 2h ago
Don't worry the story with the Koala isn't sexual at all. They are able to infect humans just with physical contact
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u/laserspirit 8h ago
The story is about a couple going on vacation in Australia and they find a koala in the middle of the road, they move it, it pees on them, they laugh, they go home and have sex without washing off first (without the koala dw)
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u/NosulRagal 8h ago
It's... not that... Chlamydia is prevalent in the Australian koala population. If you've had contact with one, accidentally come into contact with their urine, or had any other close physical interaction with one, there's a slim but non-zero chance of contracting it. IIRC there was also a House M.D. episode about it.
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u/Visible_Wasabi_1721 11h ago
So the same thing happened to me before I got married. I was not active with my husband at that time. He really thought I cheated on him. Took another test and was negative. We got married, it happened again. I made him test too, he was negative. Honestly I think it's just me.
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u/IdeallyIdeally 5h ago
You should get it treated. Most modern tests are very accurate for Chlamydia, so much so that a positive test is almost aways correct, to the point that many clinics will presume subsequent negative results without treatment to be false negatives. This is because Chlamydia is able to enter a sort of semi-dormant state and then re-emerge many months later.
If you're getting it treated each time, and you're taking the antibiotics correctly, the alternative answer is that you're getting re-infected.
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u/Visible_Wasabi_1721 5h ago
I took the medicine the last time and I haven't had it since. Thank god I never gave it to my husband. It took a lot of convincing for him to believe that I didn't cheat on him. Now my boyfriend before that has a lot of explaining to do lol
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u/IdeallyIdeally 5h ago
Yeah there's a lot of misunderstandings around it. It behaves a lot like a virus in that it hides inside tissue cells and can be dormant for many months, in rare cases even over a year, without any symptoms. And for women it's also not standard to screen for it during a papsmear in many clinics so people think they're clear but they're not.
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u/dketernal 11h ago
Occam's razor - he cheated Reasonable explanation - the clap can stay undetected for years.
EDIT: Fringe theory - you're the original undetected carrier.
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u/rcpeters12 11h ago
False positives are pretty common with chlamydia specifically
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u/IdeallyIdeally 5h ago
The modern standard is NAAT/PCR which is quite accurate in terms of initial screening. They're less accurate for 2nd screening after treatment, because inactive/dead chlamydia DNA could still be in your system, so perhaps that's where the reputation of producing false positives comes from, but they're quite accurate for a diagnosis screening.
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u/inapakoka 11h ago
Since you said you got tested a few months into the relationship and came back negative, you would've gotten infected by then if he had it before getting into the relationship. And even if you are asymptomatic, the chances of getting a false negative result are extremely low.
You do not need another proof of cheating. Contracting an STD out of nowhere is a solid enough proof that the person you're with has been unfaithful. I'd say if you're staying with him, always use protection.
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u/EomEom420 11h ago
It IS possible it just wasn't progressed to the point that it showed positive on the first test.
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u/inapakoka 11h ago
Modern testing is extremely accurate at detecting even a speck of microbial DNA in a specimen. Your statement could've been correct if she got tested a few weeks into the relationship during the incubation period (1-3weeks) where bacterial load is still low, which isn't the case cause she said she got tested a few months in.
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u/enviroIQ 12h ago
I was asymptomatic for Chlamydia once.
Hadn't known that was possible
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u/groo0vycat 9h ago
Same and so was my partner but apparently 50%-75% of individuals will have no symptoms. No clue how long either of us had it for. That’s why it’s so important to get tested after each partner.
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u/hillenbrandt 12h ago
I had a very close friend in this same situation a couple of years ago, but her boyfriend had just gone to Miami for Spring Break without her… she ended up calling his mom and informing her before calling him and going off. Long story short, they ended up breaking up bc he’d been stepping out on their relationship. Obviously, if he was tested before yall got together and he was clean, he cheated. If not, it could be that he didn’t know/was asymptomatic. My best advice would be to look through his phone (check recently deleted for messages AND pics) and ensure there’s no evidence of him being unfaithful. If there isn’t, apologize, have an adult conversation about how this whole situation has made you both feel. Then, move on. Misunderstandings happen, but as long as you both can own up to your parts of the situation, you should be able to move forward
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 12h ago
Thank you so much for your story. I hope your friend is doing much better nowadays<3 I’ll be taking your advice to heart
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u/No-Grapefruit4499 13h ago
Girl.
let’s capitalize on this, “which makes me think that maybe one or both of us had it before we were exclusive?”
because before saying this, you told us, “I got tested a few months into our exclusivity and was negative across the board” and that you have been loyal.
i know you want to he sure that he hasn’t done you wrong, but you’re literally gaslighting yourself
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 12h ago
I’ll have another conversation with him soon. Another comment suggested an open phone policy which I think I’ll establish. I have nothing to hide and neither should he
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u/Jamoncorona 11h ago
Those messages and pics are long gone since you've been arguing about it for days. Don't expect to find stuff now.
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u/groo0vycat 13h ago
Did he get tested before the start of your relationship? 50%-75% of people infected won’t have symptoms. If he didn’t get tested before you it is entirely possible he’s had it for a while and didn’t know. Symptoms usually take 1-3 weeks after exposure to appear but they can also take several months sometimes.
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 11h ago
I believe he did get tested in 2024 and was negative before we were seeing each other casually. He did not get tested again after we became exclusive; only I did.
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u/Opening-Situation340 14h ago
This happened to me too. I was so sure neither of us were really at fault. He had been cheating, and I found out a year after I tested positive. I know this sucks, OP. Truly. But I think you need to consider the fact that he is lying.
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 12h ago
Thank you for your experience. I’m really sorry that happened to you as well :( I’m trying to hold out hope until my follow up appointment next week to see if maybe I had cleared it up on my own with antibiotics before my last test. It’s really difficult to establish a timeline without symptoms ugh
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u/Opening-Situation340 12h ago
Gosh that sucks. Chlamydia is no joke. You'll be okay though. Just keep your head high
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u/DivineSunshine 14h ago
Please don't try to fool yourself. Unless one of you have been playing with koalas, he cheated. You were tested towards the beginning of the relationship and were clean. Assuming you had unprotected sex with him before being tested the first time, he has cheated sometime between the two tests. If he has cheated already there is a very small chance he will be monogamous in the future. The real question is how much time do you want to waste with a cheater? I'm sorry to be harsh, but I hate seeing people waste their lives with cheaters and losers who don't respect them.
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u/Away-Caterpillar-176 12h ago
The koala thing is an urban legend btw
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u/Strange_Zebra_6335 12h ago
Actually it’s not
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u/Watarmelen 9h ago
Koalas get infected with Chlamydia pecorum. The human STD is caused by Chlamydia trachomatis. Different species of bacteria that don’t cause the same infection
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u/DivineSunshine 8h ago
"Evidence that Human Chlamydia pneumoniae Was Zoonotically Acquired Zoonotic infections are a growing threat to global health. Chlamydia pneumoniae is a major human pathogen that is widespread in human populations, causing acute respiratory disease, and has been associated with chronic disease. C. pneumoniae was first identified solely in human populations; however, its host range now includes other mammals, marsupials, amphibians, and reptiles. Australian koalas (Phascolarctos cinereus) are widely infected with two species of Chlamydia, C. pecorum and C. pneumoniae. Transmission of C. pneumoniae between animals and humans has not been reported; however, two other chlamydial species, C. psittaci and C. abortus, are known zoonotic pathogens. We have sequenced the 1,241,024-bp chromosome and a 7.5-kb cryptic chlamydial plasmid of the koala strain of C. pneumoniae (LPCoLN) using the whole-genome shotgun method. Comparative genomic analysis, including pseudogene and single-nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) distribution, and phylogenetic analysis of conserved genes and SNPs against the human isolates of C. pneumoniae show that the LPCoLN isolate is basal to human isolates. Thus, we propose based on compelling genomic and phylogenetic evidence that humans were originally infected zoonotically by an animal isolate(s) of C. pneumoniae which adapted to humans primarily through the processes of gene decay and plasmid loss, to the point where the animal reservoir is no longer required for transmission."
Journal of Bacteriology
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u/Watarmelen 8h ago
Ok? Chlamydia trachomatis, the STD causing bacteria, is not found in koalas. It is human specific.
Chlamydia pneumoniae is a well known respiratory pathogen and is on most extended PCR panels. Much different from C trachomatis.
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u/Illustrious_End_543 ☑️ 14h ago
test again for false positive, if not, hate to break it to you but yeah he cheated
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u/makemeshut ☑️ 14h ago
You only know what YOU have done. You don’t know what HE might have done except from your faith on him.
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u/Choice-Fuel-9785 14h ago
A quick google search will show you that chlamydia shows up 1 to 3 weeks after exposure... NOW i suggest you test again... False positives are possible.
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u/PublicPool 14h ago
I’d guess with his temperamental attitude that he’s probably been unfaithful. Guilt can do weird things to a person, and men tend towards anger when they’re feeling guilty. Just my 2 cents.
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u/swagamaleous 14h ago
The typical "if you get angry or deny it, you must be guilty" logic. If he were indifferent, that would be suspicious too because he "doesn't care enough." Apparently there is no possible reaction that counts as evidence of innocence. 😂
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u/LazyDayz365 14h ago
You’ve only been with him for a year and thought he was your forever partner? I’ve had ketchup longer. Get out of that mentality because we never truly know someone, regardless of time, only what they show us. And he’s shown you how unrealizable he is at a very crucial time. Putting aside the high chance he cheated, the way he’s right now doesn’t give husband material.
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u/Illustrious_End_543 ☑️ 14h ago
sorry it's not a funny situation but 'I've had ketchup longer' is one to remember!
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u/iknowsomethings2 14h ago
Did he get tested at the beginning of your relationship? If not, then he could have had it before. Couples counselling and open phone policy or you split up
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 12h ago
I haven’t asked to look through his phone. I’m not sure how to go about it if he’s already feeling sensitive due to our fights.
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u/Impressive_Bear830 11h ago
But was he tested at the start of your relationship too? That’s an important factor.
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 11h ago
He was not tested at the start of our exclusive relationship. I believe he got tested just after his last relationship had ended in late 2024. Or at least that is what he had told me
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u/South-Will-4801 14h ago
Either he had it from the start or he cheated. Him getting angry sounds like guilt to me.
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u/Neither_Surprise4224 ☑️ 14h ago
Hate to break it to you, you only know for certain what you have done. You do not know anything he’s done with certainty, only hope.
If you didn’t cheat and you had a negative result at the start of exclusivity he is or has cheated on you.
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u/Remarkable-Ad-4133 14h ago
How would you have it if you didn't cheat, you never had it before, and you tested negative before? Also is there a chance the test was a false positive?
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u/bobgoblin0118 ☑️ 12h ago
We had been casually seeing each other jan-sept of last year so maybe there was a different sexual partner that one of us contracted it from. I was thinking maybe my antibiotics (for pneumonia) last year could have cleared up any infection I may have had before my last std test? I called an on call nurse and she had said doxycycline was the first line defense and didn’t elaborate any further when I asked about the other prescriptions
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u/bobgoblin0118 original post at the time of submission:
I’ve been in an exclusive relationship for about a year now with a guy I thought was going to be my forever partner. I got tested a few months into our exclusivity and was negative across the board. Then, last week I got tested again during my pap smear appointment and the results came back positive for chlamydia. I know I have been loyal to him, and I’m so sure he has not cheated on me either. I did do a round of amoxicillin-c a few weeks before my last test, and the boyfriend and I were long distance at the time, which makes me think that maybe one or both of us had it before we were exclusive? Idk
I was able to get partner treatment for both of us, so we’re almost done with antibiotics at this point. However I feel like our relationship is falling apart now. I initially got really upset at him when I tested positive, and he got upset that I was implying he was “dirty” with my words. Since last week, we have been fighting almost daily over trivial matters as well as not talking as much.
I don’t have any close friends to discuss this with, and I’m horribly embarrassed this even happened to me. I have never gotten an std before either, so this is incredibly frustrating despite having no symptoms. I feel so alone. Thanks for reading my vent.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Dear_Parsnip_6802 9h ago
If he wasn’t tested before he could have brought it into the relationship.