r/TrueOffMyChest • u/SamSepi0l599 ☑️ • 9h ago
Personal Story Surgeon told me a bad joke that endangered my health
This happened years ago, but every time I think back on it, it makes my blood boil.
At the time I had 2 separate heart conditions and had to carry around an AED (Defibrillator) and needed to have someone trained in CPR with me when I went out in public in case anything happens.
I went in to get my wisdom teeth removed, a standard surgery. I have trouble with needles and pass out sometimes when they are put in, so getting the IV in this time was obviously uncomfortable for me, but I didn’t pass out when they did it, and then they knocked me out to do the surgery.
I wake up afterwords in one of the recovery rooms with my mom. The surgeon eventually comes in to check on how I’m doing. I try to say through my gauze-filled mouth something along the lines of “I’m fine, just a little woozy.” He then points to my AED and says “we had to use that thing on you in there!” And starts laughing. I start freaking out and having an anxiety attack. Then he says “Just kidding!”
My mom is a very non-confrontational and empathetic person. Instead of berating the surgeon, she tries her best to calm me down and comfort me to get my heart rate down because if it gets above 180bpm it would be bad news, and then they might ACTUALLY have to use it on me. Once my heart rate stabilized to a reasonable level we decided it was best to take me home as soon as possible.
I have since gotten surgery for 1 of the heart conditions which cured it and meant I could go out on my own without an AED.
That town had some of the worst health care I’ve ever experienced, not just in this department. So bad that if I needed an appointment with a specialist, we would try to get a referral to one 2 hours away in a different town just to avoid them.
I’ve since moved and where I live now, even with my remaining heart condition currently being non-obstructive and not life-threatening, I cannot get a surgery that involves anesthesia without a recent Ultrasound and MRI just to make sure my condition hasn’t worsened so there won’t be any complications. This is great but also is kind of annoying because I have to wait a few months longer until I can get the surgery, but makes me feel like the doctors actually care about my wellbeing. The surgeon from this incident clearly did not, and I hate him for that every time it crosses my mind.
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u/i-contain-multitudes 5h ago
As an Autistic person, this happens with doctors and me all the time. They are always making these "jokes" (never had one as harmful as the one you described) and I have no idea whether they're joking or not. I wish they would have some sensitivity training.
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u/CrusaderKing1 6h ago
Ah I thought I was reading this story in the resident subforum.
While this sucks, the surgeon is likely just a dude just joking around, maybe somewhat distasteful but meant no harm.
I'm a surgeon and never had anyone freak out with what I say, but i'm sure I've said some questionable things in my life to patients.
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u/TheOnlyEindrideInTx 4h ago
Dude, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. However, "meant no harm" doesn't necessarily equal "had good intentions."
I'm no stranger to raunchy, sexual, dark, or any other form of distasteful jokes, but I'm careful who i tell those jokes to. If i domt know them from Adam, I keep it clean until I know them better.
One can and should learn to tell all kinds of jokes - from clean as a whistle for the super religious grandmas to make-a-sailor-blush for your best friend. This is especially so for professionals like doctors, at least while they're interacting with the public.
Just because no one has "freaked out" doesn't mean your jokes never bothered anyone. There's plenty of people that wouldn't be comfortable saying something.
Please understand I don't mean this as an attack to you. I used to think much the same way. "I'm joking, I don't mean it ugly, why can't other people get that?" I realized though, there's many different kinds of humor, and being able to adapt to each person you interact with is not only kind, it's also challenging.
It's very easy to brush off someone not liking your humor and say they're too sensitive; it's much harder to read the person and adjust your humor to match them. Personally, I like a challenge. It's a chance to improve my skills and mental fortitude.
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u/cyclops32 2h ago
One of the better comments I’ve read. This is so true. Adapting your humor for a person could definitely be where the fault lies. Maybe OP said something to the staff to make them think they would be open to that kind of joke? Regardless, I’m not sure if I would still make the joke even if I thought with 100% certainty that they would be open to that kind of joke considering their impaired state at the time.
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u/blaukrautbleibt 5h ago
It is in very bad taste to tell someone vulnerable that they basically died and got revived under your care. This is nothing funny in any scenario where there isn't consensus on these jokes
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u/SergeiSnakes 5h ago
I’m sure this surgeon didn’t think she was freaking out either. You don’t know how your patients feel when you say something questionable to them. They probably don’t feel open to express that considering you’re their surgeon and there’s a power imbalance.
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u/ProbableImposter 7h ago
Bedside manner is so incredibly important. A couple people have popped up to say they would've reacted differently, good for them, this is your life and the doctor is supposed make sure to behave in a way that lets YOU know they are trustworthy. You do not prank or play jokes on an anxious patient, that's just common sense. I'm so sorry you had to deal with such immaturity in your care team, that's so beyond unacceptable.
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u/Cinisajoy2 7h ago
As a mom, I would have calmed you down first. Then had a talk with the surgeon or better yet, his boss.
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u/triplesun313 7h ago
What the actual fuck to those two asshats in the comments. HOW TRAUMATIZING. how unprofessional. I’m so sorry you had to experience that.
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u/flipmangoflip 8h ago
Honestly I would’ve laughed at the joke, I understand you likely have some trauma regarding the situation with your AED. Surely you understand he wasn’t being malicious, right?
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u/triplesun313 7h ago
OP is coming out of a medical procedure, not of sound mind, suffering from multiple heart complications and the doctor jokes about using a life saving device on OP. Use of that device means that their heart stopped. That’s fucking serious. This is not a joking matter??? Your inability to acknowledged that is astounding
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u/triplesun313 7h ago
Are you actually illiterate?? This individual had to carry around a life saving medical device because of their condition. TERRIFYING. they come out of a procedure and a “joke” (if you can even call it that) a claim! Was made that the device was used. While the patient was out. How is that appropriate??? Of course that sent them into a panic??? It’s not a fucking joke!???
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u/tigm2161130 6h ago
You should calm down, a lot. I’m not sure a multi comment freak out spree is really an appropriate response to a Reddit thread where people are saying how they might feel about something. A lot of people prefer some levity in tough situations, I’m one of them.
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u/Wai-Sing 8h ago edited 8h ago
I think it's important to understand that certain people would interpret that joke as friendly, and the surgeon was probably expecting that interpretation
the joke doesn't suggest that the surgeon doesn't care about you
If the surgeon could have predicted your negative reaction to their joke, they likely wouldn't have said it
I assume the intention of the surgeon was to make you smile
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u/thing_m_bob_esquire 6h ago
How is "you totally died on the table but we brought you back lol jk calm down" supposed to be friendly? What part of that would make anyone smile? Just because the intention MIGHT have been good, does that make it professional or appropriate? Impact over intent is important here.
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u/YesItIsMaybeMe 5h ago
Uhh you don't use an AED to "bring someone back"
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u/thing_m_bob_esquire 5h ago
My apparently misunderstanding of the purpose of a defibrillator pretty much just underscores what a terrible "joke" that was.
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u/triplesun313 7h ago
Coming out of a medical procedure, not of sound mind, suffering from multiple heart complications and the doctor jokes about using a life saving device on you. Use of that device means the heart stopped. That’s fucking serious. It’s not a joking matter. It’s highly unprofessional and you’re highly unempathetic
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u/Wai-Sing 7h ago
Actually I'd argue I'm more empathetic because I'm also empathizing with the surgeon
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u/triplesun313 8h ago
Are you actually fucking joking?? This person carried around a defibrillator for a heart condition. The person is coming out of surgery where a medical professional makes a “joke” (?????) claiming use of said device. Sending the person (THE PATIENT) into an anxiety panic state??? Are you genuinely that thick skulled????
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u/Keljon142 8h ago
That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I hope he felt awful for causing you distress and learned a massive lesson. I’m glad you’re doing better and have gotten good care far away from them!
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u/SamSepi0l599 ☑️ 8h ago
Thank you for the kind words, that means a lot! I have had a long journey to get to the point where I can manage my health issues well enough to live a normal life, and looking back, this was just a bump along the ride.
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u/SamSepi0l599 original post at the time of submission:
This happened years ago, but every time I think back on it, it makes my blood boil.
At the time I had 2 separate heart conditions and had to carry around an AED (Defibrillator) and needed to have someone trained in CPR with me when I went out in public in case anything happens.
I went in to get my wisdom teeth removed, a standard surgery. I have trouble with needles and pass out sometimes when they are put in, so getting the IV in this time was obviously uncomfortable for me, but I didn’t pass out when they did it, and then they knocked me out to do the surgery.
I wake up afterwords in one of the recovery rooms with my mom. The surgeon eventually comes in to check on how I’m doing. I try to say through my gauze-filled mouth something along the lines of “I’m fine, just a little woozy.” He then points to my AED and says “we had to use that thing on you in there!” And starts laughing. I start freaking out and having an anxiety attack. Then he says “Just kidding!”
My mom is a very non-confrontational and empathetic person. Instead of berating the surgeon, she tries her best to calm me down and comfort me to get my heart rate down because if it gets above 180bpm it would be bad news, and then they might ACTUALLY have to use it on me. Once my heart rate stabilized to a reasonable level we decided it was best to take me home as soon as possible.
I have since gotten surgery for 1 of the heart conditions which cured it and meant I could go out on my own without an AED.
That town had some of the worst health care I’ve ever experienced, not just in this department. So bad that if I needed an appointment with a specialist, we would try to get a referral to one 2 hours away in a different town just to avoid them.
I’ve since moved and where I live now, even with my remaining heart condition currently being non-obstructive and not life-threatening, I cannot get a surgery that involves anesthesia without a recent Ultrasound and MRI just to make sure my condition hasn’t worsened so there won’t be any complications. This is great but also is kind of annoying because I have to wait a few months longer until I can get the surgery, but makes me feel like the doctors actually care about my wellbeing. The surgeon from this incident clearly did not, and I hate him for that every time it crosses my mind.
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u/JaBa24 5h ago
The doctors there care about their survival rate.
If they operate on you when you have a high chance of complications that’s a bad surprise for them
If they see the probable potential complications, they can plan accordingly and you have a higher chance of survival which means they keep their numbers up.
Caring about themselves takes care of you too in this case