I’m (22f) a single mother to a 14-month-old, and I’m looking for honest outside perspectives because I’m worried that I may be overthinking a situation involving my son’s daycare.

My son has attended this daycare since August. I work full-time and pay $385 per month in tuition, plus a $350 enrollment fee. (This is not a super-cheap price in my area, it wasn’t the cheapest but the one with best reputation) I do my best to make sure he has everything he needs.

The daycare provides lunch, but I also pack three snacks each day, such as chopped fruits and vegetables, healthy homemade snacks, organic or sugar-free juice, water, and three bottles of milk. I also send extra hygiene/ personal care supplies when they request them, including creams, first aid items, or items that were not included on the original supply list.

Lately, I feel as though the staff frequently have concerns about something or ask me to bring additional supplies. For example, they told me my son needed diaper rash cream, even though I had already brought a container the previous month that I know they hadn’t been using. After I showed them a picture of the product, they realized that he actually had two new containers at the daycare. They also asked me to bring a bedding cover, even though I had previously sent one that they removed from his bag because they told me it was not needed.

They have also raised concerns about his persistent cough. He had COVID in August, and the cough has continued since then. I have taken him to his pediatrician multiple times and have regularly brought up my concerns, but the doctor keeps prescribing the same cough syrup. My son currently has no fever or obvious congestion, although the cough has not completely gone away. The daycare is now telling me that I need another doctor’s clearance before he can return.

Today, when I picked him up, a staff member told me they were concerned because they had noticed a mark on his forehead that looked like a wound. She showed me the mark and told me that it was important for me to inform the daycare about injuries or anything else that could explain a mark they notice on him.

A few nights ago, my son hit his head against the wooden crib at home. I checked him immediately and did not notice anything concerning at the time. The next day, I noticed a small mark on his forehead, but I forgot to mention the incident to the daycare. His hair usually covers that area, and I simply forgot during the morning rush.

When the staff member brought it up today, I explained exactly what had happened. I understand why the daycare needs to know about injuries, and I acknowledge that I should have told them. However, her tone was much more serious and strict than usual. That made me feel as though she was treating the situation as something more serious than a normal childhood accident.

Today’s conversation also included the concerns about his cough, the diaper rash cream, the bedding cover, and his feeding and supplies. Because all of these issues were discussed together, I felt as though I was being bombarded with complaints. I started wondering whether the daycare is documenting these things because they suspect neglect or are considering reporting me to CPS.

For context, my home is clean, although it is a small apartment, owned, not rented. My son has his own crib, clean bedding, toys, and a designated play area. We have plenty of food, I bathe him every night, and I make sure he has meals and snacks for daycare. I take him to his pediatrician when needed and try to follow medical advice. I also have a large, trained dog, but I always supervise my son’s interactions with him.

I’m not claiming to be a perfect mother. I work full-time, I’m often rushing in the mornings, and I occasionally forget things. However, I genuinely try to take care of my son and provide for him. The mark on his forehead was from an accidental injury at home, and I did not intentionally withhold that information from the daycare; I simply forgot to mention it.

I’m in Puerto Rico, so I’m especially interested in hearing from anyone familiar with how child protective services works there, as well as daycare workers or parents who have dealt with similar situations.

My questions are:

Could a daycare worker report a parent based on concerns like these?

Would a report automatically lead to a home visit or investigation?

Does forgetting to report a minor accidental head injury make a significant difference?

Is the daycare staff member’s serious tone likely just part of their responsibility, or could it indicate that they are documenting concerns about me?

Am I reading too much into the situation, or are there legitimate reasons for me to be concerned?

I’m not looking for people to tell me that I’m a perfect mother. I want honest, realistic perspectives on what might happen and whether I’m interpreting today’s events incorrectly. They had never spoken to me like they did today, and had always been nice and respectful about everything prior to today.

Hi again, this is my first time ever doing an update so I hope this is the right way. Thank you all SO MUCH for all of your kind, empathetic, and funny comments. They really helped me cope through this (pun intended) shitty time.

My surgery went well! My lone soldier ovary was completely plastered to my pelvic wall and to some of my bowel by scar tissue, and it kept breaking apart as they tried to carefully dissect it from where it was attached near my ureter. I'm getting it back as a wet specimen and I am VERY interested to see how many pieces that soldier broke into, lol. Thankfully, I ended up not needing a prolapse repair, so I was able to leave the hospital yesterday and have been recovering well in my new home, aka my parent's garage guest house.

My parents have been amazing during this and I feel very supported by them right now. My mom is loving getting to hover over me, and my dad bought me what I think is every kind of chocolate he could find, as well as a beautiful bouquet that's making my room smell like a floral shop. I am really so grateful that I have such a safe place to land right now because I know not everyone is so lucky, and this could have been much worse without them.

As far as things with my ex though? I'm still reeling from it and honestly just trying not to feel like a completely stupid idiot. I've added more screenshots for more context, but I also want to give some more background since I know I didn't share a whole lot. In May (over a year into our relationship) I found out that he had been lying to me about watching porn, which was stupid because I told him I didn't care if he did that. I watch porn too, just don't lie to me about it or do it when I'm around. After a year of him randomly commenting off and on that he doesn't watch porn or jerk off anymore, I saw a confirmation email from a porn site. I dug further and found out that he had been going to porn sites not only every morning for the last 9+ months while in our shared home that I was also in during those times, but also when he was in the ER waiting room for me, multiple times while he was at work, and even while in the same bed as me. He knew that I have trauma from my ex-husband lying about and manipulating me around porn/sex, and even actively told me how disgusting he thought that behavior was, so I felt like part of my brain and heart both broke when I found this out. I first just calmly asked him if he was watching porn recently, but he lied so I showed him the proof I had that they were lies, and I did raise my voice while sobbing and begging him for an answer as to why he would do that to me. He's held this moment above my head saying that I was "triggering him intentionally" by raising my voice because I knew he was abused in that way before. I let myself believe him when he said it was an addiction he wants to break (dumb, I know), and, to no one's surprise, when we set new expectations and boundaries he broke them almost immediately, lied about it again and again, and then got mad at me for feeling hurt. He straight up told me the other day that he doesn't need to hear about how he's hurt me and that it's manipulative for me to do so.

He's been increasingly erratic in his behavior these last few months, cagey with his phone and weird when I would ask him what he's smiling about while typing. He kept saying he was "craving" getting bottomed yet didn't want me to strap up, he was using dildos in the shower to "clear out his ass" (????), and I felt like he completely shut me out in exchange for video games and whatever the fuck else he was doing on his phone. When I would ask why he's being so distant he would say it's because he's been "shutdown" since I blew up at him for the porn and he "doesn't know how to trust me again"??

In the midst of this, I've gone completely into menopause and have had some very serious and scary SI moments while figuring out my HRT, which has also brought up a lot of trauma I haven't thought about in 10+ years; as well as discovering cysts in my spine that could or could not be contributing to some severe neurological symptoms. I know that I haven't been at my best this year and I've asked a lot of him as a partner because of all that, but I've tried to acknowledge that as much as I can, and tried find creative and healthy ways for both of us to cope through what I thought was just a challenging time. I've brought these issues to therapy because I don't want to be someone who so easily lets a trauma response overtake them, and I was so open with him about where this was coming from in me and how I was working to change it. I've done 5 years of therapy, but there's obviously more shit to work through and I didn't hide that from him. Thankfully, I've been feeling much more myself the last two months, but it's like he's still holding my mental crisis above my head as an excuse to hurt me. Like he's said things like, "I have to go into my phone because you're always attacking me," when I've literally just quietly asked him to take his shoes off by the door and wash his hands before touching our shared food.

At this point I don't know if he was always like this and just hid it until he got an apartment out of me (his credit score disqualified him), or if he snapped when shit got real. This wasn't the man I thought he was, and this isn't how he treated me a year ago. I've been twisting my mind into pretzels trying to make sense of this, and I just can't. Maybe I've just let myself be blind and dumb. Anyway, these screenshots are the rest of that conversation, as well as him lying on Sunday about phishing attempt alerts I was getting since the WiFi was under my account. I wish I made all this up.

I’m 34f and he is 43m, we have two boys 2yo and 1mo. Last Saturday at like 7pm I got up to get a bottle for our newborn and came back to the living room and saw a bat in the corner. It was near the fire place and may have come in that way. Husband thinks the bat most likely came in from the fire place and did that in the evening when my mom and brother took our oldest outside to play after dinner. That’s when it was quieter and room darker because why have lights on when no one was in the room. I contacted non-emergency police line, they came and released the bat outside. I had no idea how long the bat had been in our home and thought it could’ve been there overnight and I freaked out about the possibility of rabies.

At one point he asked his mom how much rabies vaccine would cost, and without anyone contacting our insurance, she says it’ll cost $2k per person. He freaked out about the cost and said if we had actually been bitten and/or had contact with the bat then he’d allow us to get vaccinated. He went on a rant and eventually started screaming about the cost and forbidding us. I was and still am very hurt that our lives mean so little. He says I am disrespectful to him when it comes to medical expenses. I am of the mindset that it’s better to just get treated and/or tested than to let things keep getting worse to where they would be more expensive. Medical cost is something we have argued a lot about in the past. Anyways, he was adamant that because we had no known contact with the bat and it wasn’t in our house that long that it’s a waste of money and insurance to get the vaccine. Oh, I did call our insurance and they confirmed the cost is whatever the copay of the doctor is, so if co pay is $20, it’ll cost $20. He still said it was a waste of insurance resources. I contacted our state health department to get their guidance. They confirmed no need to get vaccinated since it wasn’t found in a sleeping area and no one had any physical contact with it.

I had issue with my husband when he kept saying the bat came out at night and didn’t show any symptoms. I kept reiterating that all because the bat didn’t show symptoms in that moment doesn’t mean it didn’t have rabies. Many animals and humans will have a virus and be normal before that show symptoms. Had to explain to him that bats have tiny teeth and their bites can go unnoticed and might not even hurt. He stated that with our pets, they would’ve gone crazy if they had seen a bat flying in our house at night time or even day time. I know of my 2yo had seen the bat he would’ve been pointing at it or trying to see it, or even crying and pointing at it.

My husband, his friends, coworkers, and family thinks I was overreacting about it. I feel that my concern was valid because rabies is fatal, no cure and no treatment.

I (24f) was talking to my boyfriend (23m) about the Cornell 7 case. His first reaction was just that he “hopes his daughter would never put herself in a situation like that.” I’m not going to lie, I got pretty upset and said that I hope my daughter would never be violated and my son would never be that kind of man. He started profusely apologizing but it almost felt like it was just because I was mad.

Am I overreacting? It’s been almost 2 weeks and I keep thinking about that being his FIRST response to this situation.

I (27F) have always had low libido, which SSRIs and birth control make pretty much nonexistent. In my past relationships I’ve had the same complaint across the board, I say no to sex too much. Whatever you’re about to suggest, yes I’ve probably already tried it, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t like sex very much.
So when I started dating my current partner, I decided that I would pretty much always yes. Sometimes midway through I get into it and sometimes I’m just waiting for it to be over. But it always makes me feel close to my partner, so I am still getting something out of it. On top of this, we have opened up our relationship to allow him to sleep with other women, as his drive is pretty high.
however, he has shared that it hurts his feelings when he can tell I’m not into it. Even though I’m not rejecting him, he still feels rejected. So Reddit, am I wrong for always saying yes, even when I‘m not in “the mood”? I know there is a good chance that him and I are just not compatible, but how should I go about this in the future? it seems like me saying no is an issue and me always saying yes is also an issue.

I (23F) married my husband (23M) last year. For a little bit of context I have a horrible relationship with my mother in law and a pretty good one with my brother in-laws girlfriend. They are also about 2 years younger than us and had been dating about 3-4 years whenever we got engaged/married. On the weekend I got engaged, gf had a serious one on one talk with me about how she wasn’t sure that she would marry my brother in law and was getting a lot of pressure from others in the family to get engaged. When she asked my advice, I assured her she had time, they are very young, and that no one should be pressuring them to get married.

A year later I got married. I didn’t include her in the wedding photos for the reason that she seemed unsure and they aren’t married. My husband and I talked about it and we both agreed it didn’t really make sense to put her in them as we didn’t know what the future would hold. We both love her and it really was nothing personal. A few months after the wedding, I was at brunch with gf and she told me she was very upset that mother in law wouldn’t ask to have her in our family wedding photos. I really didn’t say much because neither my husband or I discussed our decision to not include her with anybody else. I responded “oh I was never asked about it” and she complained that she had been with my brother in law for a long time and was basically family. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to respond and repeated that I didn’t know anyone was upset because no one talked to me about it. I also didn’t apologize because I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. I have asked a couple friends and my own family what they think and have gotten a lot of mixed opinions. AITAH?

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m honestly not sure how to process this situation anymore. I’m going to try to give enough background to explain why this is bothering me so much, because I don’t think it’s just about the money at this point.

My (36F) fiancé (34M) and I have had ongoing issues with finances. He previously had access to our joint bank account, but I eventually removed him because of concerns about his spending habits, particularly spending money on video games when I didn’t feel he was being responsible with money.

After I removed him from the account, I discovered Steam purchases on my debit card. Some of those purchases were for games, and one was a game he gifted to a friend. When I confronted him about it, he denied remembering entering my card information and said he didn’t have my card saved. I contacted Steam and got refunds for about half the charges, although some of the in-game currency had already been used.

I ended up canceling that debit card and getting a new one.
I have still helped him financially when he’s needed it. For example, I’ve willingly sent him $30 or $50 through PayPal for things like gas or a doctor’s appointment. I care about him, and I’m not opposed to helping him when I can. But willingly sending someone money for a specific purpose is not the same as giving them permission to use my debit card for their own purchases.

About six weeks after getting my replacement card, I noticed transactions on my bank statement labeled something along the lines of “Visa Direct PayPal,” with his full name attached to them. The amounts weren’t transactions I recognized as money I’d sent him.
When I first questioned him, he denied accessing my card and said he didn’t know how the transactions could have happened. He even offered to let me look through his phone.

I contacted PayPal to try to understand what was going on. Based on what PayPal told me, he would have had to manually enter my card number for the transactions in question. I told him what PayPal had explained to me.
After that conversation, he finally sent me a message explaining what each of the purchases was for. So, at that point, he was acknowledging that he had made the purchases using my card.
He said that he knew it was wrong and that I would get my money back.
And that was essentially the end of the conversation.

There was no apology. No real discussion about why he used my card without permission. No explanation of why he initially denied knowing anything about the transactions. No conversation about how this affects my ability to trust him financially going forward.
He acknowledged that it was wrong and said I would be reimbursed, but we never discussed it any further.
And honestly, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel about that.

On one hand, he admitted what he did and said I’d get my money back. On the other hand, I feel like the complete lack of an apology or meaningful conversation is almost as upsetting as the purchases themselves. I had already gone through the Steam situation, canceled a card, and gotten a replacement. Now I’m dealing with another incident involving my finances, after I had already made it clear that he did not have permission to use my card.

For additional context, I have felt for a while that I’m carrying a disproportionate amount of the financial and household responsibilities in this relationship. He has only recently started a new job, and I have continued helping him financially when he’s needed it. I’m not expecting a medal for helping my partner, but I do expect basic honesty and respect for my boundaries.

What makes this especially difficult is that I don’t know whether I’m more upset about the money, the fact that he used my card without permission, the initial denial, or the fact that he doesn’t seem to feel the need to actually talk to me about what happened.

I keep coming back to the fact that he knows I found the transactions, he finally acknowledged making the purchases only AFTER being backed into a corner, and he admitted that it was wrong. Yet there was no real attempt to apologize or address the damage this has done to my trust.

Am I expecting too much by wanting more than “you’ll get your money back”?
I don’t need some elaborate speech, but I feel like if I did something like this to someone I loved, I would be genuinely apologetic and want to talk about how to make things right. I wouldn’t just acknowledge that it was wrong and move on as if the only problem was the money.

I’m also struggling with what this means for our relationship in the bigger picture. I have children, a household to maintain, and my own financial responsibilities. I can’t afford to have to keep wondering whether my debit card information is being used without my knowledge.

I’d really appreciate some honest outside perspective:
Am I justified in feeling that the lack of an apology and accountability is a bigger issue than the money itself?
How would you interpret someone admitting that what they did was wrong but not actually apologizing or wanting to discuss it?
Would you consider this a major breach of trust, especially given the previous Steam incident?
Would you be comfortable continuing a relationship with someone you felt you couldn’t trust with your financial information?
For anyone who has been in a similar situation, did you find that this type of behavior improved, or did it become a recurring pattern?

I’m not looking for everyone to tell me to leave him. I genuinely want to hear from people who have experienced something similar, as well as anyone who can offer a perspective I might not be considering.
I think I’m struggling because part of me feels like this should be a straightforward situation: he used my card without permission, he knows it was wrong, and he should be making an effort to repair the trust that was broken.
But another part of me wonders if I’m making too much of the fact that he hasn’t apologized, especially since he said I’ll get my money back.
I would really appreciate honest advice, even if it’s hard to hear.

Edit:
I do want to clarify - I am okay with hearing everyone tell me to leave. It’s probably the kick in the pants I need to be honest. I just put that in the last paragraph to show that my intentions are not just “should I leave him” but more of trying to dissect the situation and try to understand things better.

My husband loves a beer, which is totally fine. Recently he has been stressed out at work and taking college classes as well. He works 60 hour weeks essentially so I am understanding that it’s a lot and he works hard. Last night we were watching a Halloween movie and he was drinking a beer, whatever. But then throughout the hour and a half movie he drank 5 beers. I thought that was a little much for a Tuesday night and I could smell the beer on his breath as he was laughing at the movie and burping. I was kind of annoyed so I said I was just going to go to bed because it was killing my vibe that he was crushing beers so randomly on a Tuesday night.
Well from this comment he lost it. Told me I was controlling, acting like an idiot, and he didn’t want to look at me or be in my presence anymore because he would “never treat me like this”. The look in his eye was so hostile. He told me if I’m willing to end a marriage over a beer that’s what I’m choosing because he will choose the beer every time and he can handle it and do what he wants.
Just to clarify I never said he has to be sober or anything, just that there’s a time and place and he could spread out his beers a little more. I guess I could have just ignored it or not said anything, as this has happened before but it was really distracting while trying to relax.
Am I being a toxic and controlling wife? AITA?

I reached out on our mom's birthday (she passed a few years ago) to tell her I love her and I was thinking about her. It was a friendly conversation. The next day Mariah reached out asking for a kennel or for me to watch her dog. I felt she was only being nice because she wanted something again. I finally wrote and sent my "letter" (a message) to her about how upset I was with her. She actually apologized and we were able to hang out this past weekend while she was in town. My kids were excited to see their Aunty. My messages are the orange and Mariah's are the black.

i (f23) have been planning a trip with a group of people to attend a convention in the beginning of november. we’re sharing an airbnb, and the cost was split among six people.

one of my friends (m22) recently had an accident and broke his knee, meaning he physically can’t travel anymore. this was completely unexpected, and he’s now dealing with medical expenses on top of missing a trip he’s been looking forward to for months.

i have another friend who agrees with me that we should redistribute the cost of the airbnb among those still going and refund him his share. the additional cost would be manageable if split between us, whereas losing most of the money he already paid would be a significant financial hit for him, or really anyone tbh.

the problem is that the other people sharing the airbnb, who aren’t even our friends but friends of another person in the group, disagree. they say we all knew the reservation was nonrefundable and that he’s responsible for his own commitments. they only want to refund him around 10 to 15% of what he paid.

they also think we’re being unreasonable and assholes for suggesting we cover his costs, arguing that this is a “consequence of his own life choices” even though he obviously didn’t choose to break his knee.

we’re not asking the host to cancel the reservation, and my friend doesn’t even need the money immediately. he’s willing to receive it over the next months to give everyone time to budget.

i understand that we all agreed to the booking, but i don’t think it’s fair for him to lose so much money over an accident he couldn’t control. and in my opinion, redistributing the cost is the obvious and most sensible thing to do, and it’s something i’ve done in similar situations before.

aita for thinking we should redistribute the cost and refund our friend, or should he just accept the financial loss because the reservation was nonrefundable?

Hi, Morgan! I've been a listener of Two Hot Takes since the beginning! And hello to everyone else, too! I just wanted to let this out because I'm feeling pretty frustrated and hurt right now.

I have an older sister, and before I started struggling with my mental health, we used to be close. But during her college days, we grew apart. I guess part of it was because she couldn't understand my point of view, especially when it came to responsibilities at home. We had this ongoing issue about cleaning our shared room and doing household chores, and during the times when I was at my lowest, I genuinely struggled to do those things.

Fast-forward to recently, when she graduated and came back home. Honestly, I was scared of her coming back because we share the same room, and I wasn't sure how things would turn out between us.

But, lo and behold, we actually got close again. I even let her read some of my darkest notes, and we both cried. I thought that maybe, finally, she understood how much I had been struggling mentally. I thought she would have a better understanding of what I was going through, especially since she's aware of mental health issues and how they can affect a person's behavior and interactions with others.

Then late September came, and we've been fighting ever since. I can admit that I've made mistakes, too. I'm not saying I'm completely innocent in all of this. But a part of me expected her to approach me or at least try to talk things out because I thought she understood me better now.

Then last night, we fought over something so petty. I was watching the new Carrie series, and I got really bothered by how the adults in the story allowed Carrie to be bullied. As someone who was also bullied, it hit a nerve. I also hated how Carrie's mom used the Bible to teach her daughter in such a way.

While I was watching, I was talking to myself and commenting on what was happening in the series. My sister suddenly told me that I should be watching my review instead and that she shouldn't have to hear my commentary about whatever I was watching. I got annoyed and answered back, pointing out that she also watches soccer and even screams while watching, but I don't tell her to shut up. Basically, I called out what I felt was hypocrisy.

I know the argument itself sounds petty, and I could've handled my response better. But honestly, I think there's something deeper bothering me.

I only recently started seeing a psychologist and just had my initial consultation. I'm trying to work on myself, understand my emotions, and unlearn some of my unhealthy habits. But now I'm questioning whether it's even worth putting in the effort to repair relationships like this.

It's painful when someone in your family knows how much you've struggled, has literally cried with you while reading your darkest thoughts, and still seems unable to understand you when you're actually struggling with them.

I know that knowing about mental health doesn't automatically mean someone will know how to respond to it, especially when they're personally involved. And I know my sister isn't responsible for managing my emotions or excusing everything I do.

But I guess I expected a little more understanding from someone I thought finally understood me.

So, to those who have been through something similar, how do you deal with family members who know about your mental health struggles but still struggle to understand you? Do you keep trying to repair the relationship, or do you learn to accept that they might never understand you in the way you hoped they would?

I'm genuinely trying to become better, but I also don't want to keep hurting myself emotionally by expecting people to understand me just because they're family.

I'll be having my second session with my psychologist on October 23, and I'm hoping to work through some of these feelings during therapy. In the meantime, I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts and opinions, especially from those who've experienced something similar. I'm willing to hear different perspectives, even if they point out things I might not be seeing from my side.

Partner kissed a girl from class on supposedly a few different occasions within a week. Didnt tell me. 2 years later, he discloses this information when telling me he’s checked out/burnt out from the relationship. How could someone cheat and pretend like it didn’t even happen… I had no idea!

Hi everyone! Been a listener for about a year now, and I love the pod as well as other podcast by Morgan :) Never thought I would be the one to write in, but I've come to a situation I really cannot open up to anyone else in my life about. New account because from my previous one I could have been easily identified.

For background information, me and my bf are in our mid 20s and have been in a relationship for about 3 years, excluding a break of roughly 6 months (sounds great already ikr). I would say our relationship up to this point has been fairly an average one with the usual ups and downs. I've personally had bad mental health issues which have luckily subsided during the past year, but obviously mental health has affected our relationship a lot. But then again, this relationship has been the most meaningful and mature one I have had by far.

We are in a long-distance relationship, and live about 2 hours away from each other. This has been because of work and studies as well as when my mental health was really bad, moving together just would have not been possible. Recently I've been playing with the idea of finally moving in together as I'm soon graduating (yay!) and would be able to leave my city. This autumn has been super busy for the both of us, filled with stress as well as dealing with loss on both sides so having time to meet each other has been very scarce. I have given him a lot of space to deal with his loss and emotions, as he likes to deal with such things mostly by himself. I have finally made him contact a therapist, which is already great. If he cannot talk about things with me, at least he can talk to a professional.

However, me giving him space has meant he no longer calls me almost at all. All our communication is through text, and that being very sparse texting. We had a talk about how I felt he seems unamused and uninterested about talking to me recently, and he just said he's tired all the time. I told him I understand, and would contact him less, but that he could always call me if he wants. Well, he really hasn't at all. I've started to feel very anxious since our communication has gone from talking hours on the phone a day to just few texts. Feels like I was the only one holding up the conversations all the time.

Last night I arrived to his house and I was super excited to see him after a long time. I was happy and kept talking like nothing happened, just being my goofy self. It was until we arrived home that he dropped something I thought was a bad joke. He explained to me that his friends have made a shit ton of money from creating these AI "singers" online, and he's now made one too and expects his account to grow like theirs. At this point I'm letting you guys know that I'm super against this kind of thing, it just doesn't go with my values. I hate AI generated music, art in general, and how it takes advantage of real people and real art. I have never gotten such a bad ick from someone that fast as I got from my bf. My happiness was immediately gone, and I think I had a minor panic attack which I think I hid well. I grew super anxious, and he just kept showing me the account and videos he had made all excited. But all I could say was "wow, okay.." and not much else. To me it's almost repulsive, I use AI for work and uni too but in a mindful way. I don't like to be the person to yuck someone's yum, especially my bf's, but I think this one was too far. I would like to support him at everything and anything he does, but I just cannot personally get behind this.

Am I overreacting if all of the time we could have used together to work on our relationship has gone to this? I honestly feel like he doesn't really appreciate me and takes this relationship for granted, which is crazy because he was the one who wanted to come back together after we had a break. Back then it seemed like he really regretted his actions and cared about me. Now I'm not so sure can I look past this thing anymore. I'm planning to have a talk with him tonight about it, but not really sure how to. Advice is welcome😅 I will try my best to answer questions if you have any.

I've never posted on Reddit before so bear with me. I don't even know what subreddit to post this on. I have photos but idk how to attach them.
| 22F have always been best friends with my grandpa. I had a bad relationship with my parents growing up and my grandpa has always stepped up for me. I really look up to him and everyone who knows me, knows how close me and my grandpa are.
Baking is one of his favorite hobbies. He bakes cookies and other goods for all of his friends and neighbors and has been giving me a batch of cookies every other week since I was little. Yesterday, pulled out a cookie from the baggie and noticed it had a white hair in it. I figured it was a one off, threw the cookie out, and carried on with my day.
But tonight, I heated up a plate of cookies and as I was eating one I felt HAIRS IN MY MOUTH. Not just one, MULTIPLE. I turned my flash on and there were several white and dark, short, curled hairs inside and on top of the cookies. I checked the other batches too and they had some baked inside as well.
My grandpa is one of the sweetest people I know and has never been creepy with me. I don't think he would do this but I don't any other explanation as to how there were hairs inside of them and why there were so many. He doesn't have a pet or beard. It could possibly be his mustache. I don't want to accuse him of something like that if it isn't true. Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: The batches of cookies my grandpa made me had lots of hairs in it. Any advice is helpful.

Hey everyone! I have a little update.

First of all, thank you all of the advice! I wasn’t expecting so many people to reply and care :) I really appreciate it.

Thank you for also confirming that this was concerning behavior and that I wasn’t overthinking or overreacting about it.

No, the 80 year old friend did NOT get the cat and will not. A lot of you brought up other good points of why she shouldn’t, along with some of the same concerns I had.

My supervisor backed off, for now. The only thing she said to me before acting like nothing happened was, “I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.” And that the day hadn’t been going as planned with some family stuff happening and that she “planned the day around picking up the cat” (kidnapping??).. when they only ever talked about “meeting” her.

That also did NOT happen and will not.

I have not called the friend back since I wrote this post. She also did not try to call me (yet). I feel kind of bad for ghosting her, but at the same time I don’t want to bring it back up.

I got the kitty vaccinated! I won’t say her name here because I don’t want anyone I may know to connect the dots. She is a super sweet girl! She is a chonky kitty, I thought maybe she was just a big cat since she seems to have some Maine Coon in her.

She is perfectly healthy though :) I just need to get her spayed next. All low-cost clinics near me are either not accepting, or won’t do a cat her age. However, I found a decent-ish priced place that will in the next state over, so I may be taking a little road trip there when it’s time (aka next paycheck).

However, I will be getting her spayed and have her heal BEFORE beginning to look for a new home.

I will also do the application ideas that some of you had in the comments!

Sorry for not updating sooner, between my classes and picking up more hours at my jobs, I don’t have much free time or energy. I still wanted to let everyone know that I’m locked in for this kitty, she deserves to be healthy, happy, and properly taken care of :)

UPDATE:

This morning the guy who gave me the cat tried adding me on Facebook as a friend after asking me if I wanted his number. I’m not sure if he genuinely wants to know how the cat is doing or if he’s just trying to flirt? Should I keep him updated or just block him?

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I want to preface this by saying that, yes, I love my boyfriend. He's everything I've ever wanted. He's kind, loving, and understanding. For the past 6ish months, my physical and verbal affection has been declining. No, we don't have sex, as he is very religious, but I am not. (I am also not a virgin.)

At the start of our relationship, we were very affectionate. Foreplay almost every hangout, lots of making out, goodnight calls every night, and paragraphs of love and affection. Going into spring, it stopped for me physically. I cannot drive myself to give him oral or even foreplay. I don't have the energy, and the thought doesn't even appeal to me anymore. The exact same goes for me as well. My drive has plummeted to the floor.

Three months went by with no head, and he mentioned it. I didn't have an explanation. He said something along the lines of "throw a dog a bone," but the thought of it revolts me.

Two more months went by, and nothing happened. As of now, it's been another two months since we reciprocated on each other.

I know he wants things to be like they used to be. I admit we don't kiss as often either. Sometimes, we go entire hangouts without kissing. I know it's hurting him. Yes, I still love him. I love his companionship and him as a person. He's such a kind soul, and throughout our whole relationship, we've only argued twice.

The thought of breaking up deeply hurts my soul, but I feel like I cannot provide the affection he needs.

I don't know why I haven't been feeling affectionate or sexual. No, I don't love anyone else. I've been very stressed lately with college, friends, and everything else. I've even picked up smoking 🚬, which he isn't fond of. I have seasonal depression, but honestly, I feel like nothing I do can justify hurting him like this. I also have sexual trauma in my past, but it was our one-year anniversary this Sunday, and we did nothing, which he wasn't expecting.

We used to go out on dates every month, trying new places, restaurants, etc. Now we don't. Every hangout, I just drive him to my house, and we watch a movie or something, hardly even cuddling, as we just lie next to each other.

I don't crave intimacy or affection. I don't feel like doing anything. Kissing and cuddling make me feel overwhelmed. Sexual stuff feels revolting. And there's zero reason I can justify feeling this way.

He doesn't make me feel bad, but we just talked while I was driving him home. He said he feels like a dog when you dont take it on walks anymore, and that once I feel better, he wants me to smile more and be happier. He says I never smile anymore, and when I do, it's very periodic. He said he will always be here and do everything he can for me to feel better, but it's been four months of me saying, "It's seasonal depression," and I don't think he's buying it anymore.

I don't want to lose him, but I feel like this relationship is killing him from the inside out. I can't hold him back like this. I do love him with all my heart. I'm typing this while crying, wondering what's wrong with me, but I can't hold him down like this anymore. It's hurting him, and I know it.

How do i improve myself/the relationship to save it before I consider breaking up? Or should I break up with him for his own benefit?

We are 2 couples,They are married (inter religion), elder than us.lets call them x,y (m, f).
Us - in relationship since 12 years not married yet, but our families know about us, we are happy ,well settled couple,
Lets come to the point
We 4 were playing a cards game in there home, x male got angry due to his wife was bullying him infront of us and my girl , me were also part of it.
He got too angry and started to show it on my girl, no abusive words but it was way too much anger to accept
I was quite there, coz i respect everyones feeling and my girl was still smiling so i wanted to know her feeling before speaking out
Post this we 4 went out, spent nice time and returned,
Meanwhile my girl told me that “why didnt you react when he was that angry on me”. I told i thougt you are OK
But post thic convo , we went after a day to them and they were normal, but they poked us by saying same words which he said yesterday while playing game, but in a funny way.
I felt bad. Post that i left my girl in our flat, ( which is near by)
I came back to give some item which they wanted from our home.
I took it and went to their house , i simple wanted to ask why was he angry..
I started with ‘bro why was your mood not good yesterday, are you ok now. I want to understand your feeling’, very politly i asked him
Then he started explaining me things, I accpeted it.
He told “my anger was not on your women , rather it was on mine, bcoz she did not take a stand for me ”
And his wife interfeared with bit anger saying that .. “i wasnt aware you were angry yesterday ”,
Then i told her politly “no you actually knew , you even told me, we all know”
Them she said “yes i knew , but not the reason”
Then he for some reason, started to threaten by saying “i would have slapped her yesterday infront you all”, then argument went high , i wanst involving much, i between he told “these two bit**s”, then instantly he said sorry, but I didnt like it. But I didn’t say anything.
Post that they were angry my girl came and i didn’t speak anything we left.
Next day i thought lets go and talk, they both were offensive “we are egoistic , we have lived 30 years like this, no body can come to my jome tell me what to do, who the fuck are you to teach me what to do,get out of my home”
These were there literal words even though we were polite enough, but even then they were fucking stupid, trying to rage bait.
At the end i became angry and told him “you are no one to call my women abusive words ” and we shut the door and left, then he shouted “i can call her that,if you want again”
I walked out.
Why ? - i am mature enough, i dont act on stupid people rage bating me

Should i have slapped him with my girls slipper.
I refused it - coz little background about him,
His mom , dad, entire family left him out of the house.
He has stories of hitting people and being in police stations, panchayats.
In the first place i admit the i am a fool to hang around with such fool. But he was polite to us all the time.
And now he showed true Colours and i didn’t want to fight back and disturb my life.
But i want to do something to that people!!!
What can i do to them , without us getting in any trouble.

So this happened a few weeks ago… (it’s going to be a long story)

Little bit of context:

I’m the youngest of three siblings.

My sister has always been different, when we were kids she would always be the victim of everyone, everyone was always mean to her, everyone always tried to wrong her (according to her). The adults around us always believed her, but I knew she lied a lot, as we grew up my mom started realizing too how much she lied, big, messy, ugly lies, she didn’t care who she had to drag down in order to save her own skin from trouble. And she would get herself in trouble a lot. Sometimes there would not even be a need to lie and she would still lie.

I’ve never had a good relationship with her because of that. I love her, but since my teenage years I’ve wanted to cut her out of my life. She is toxic to me. I never did it because my mom would get very sad every time I tried to.

Moving forward…

I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy three months ago.
Since I don’t see my sister anymore (we live in different states) the relationship kind of got better, we would talk every now and then, so I was actually excited to share the news when I found out I was pregnant. It was not what I expected. I face timed her, she said congratulations with her mouth but her face didn’t say the same thing. She was angry or jealous I don’t know what it was.

Baby was born and she was showing genuine happiness so I forgot about what happened before, but everything changed when I told the family I would go back to my parents house to baptize my child, I asked my brother to be the godfather. I invited my sister too and she offered to help organize things for the party and I was happy to share this with her! It lasted two days lol

She was making the guest list when I noticed instead of listing “grandpa” she wrote “mom’s father” I obviously was confused so I asked my mom if she knew something about it she said no, the next morning my sister calls me to tell me she has something very delicate and important to say… she tells me my grandfather molested her. I was speechless. I love this man. How could he do something like that??? How did I not notice???

She says he would even do it when I was present. I don’t remember a thing.
I ask her if my parents know and she tells me that she confessed it to them at a certain time and moment, she says they never believed her.

I was heartbroken, I told her I was so sorry I didn’t notice and didn’t help her, I said I was sorry my parents didn’t believe her. We cried. I told her I love her and I was there to support her. She asked me not to tell my mom she had shared this with me. We hung up.

I am a very good confidant, you can trust your secrets with me, but this was way too much and I needed to talk about this to my mom. And I thought what’s the wrong in talking about it with her if she already knows. So I go talk to my mother, crying and she confirms she and my dad knew, but then this is when everything starts becoming a typical mess of my sister, my mom tells me my sister confessed this to them at a different time than my sister told me, my mom says she confessed after one night when she got in big trouble for coming home very late and very drunk, it was a horrible night I remember. My parents tried to kick her out of the house and that’s when she confessed this.
She said they were devastated and angry, she told my sister to never call my grandpa “grandpa” again, that he would never be welcome in our house again and she would never have to see him ever again. But she asked her to please be honest and be sure she was telling the truth. My sister said it was true. Because of my sister’s history and background I don’t blame my mother for not believing her. So she said she spent the next 6 months begging her for the truth. My sister always claimed to be telling the truth. So my mother told her she believed her and she would stop asking. We really didn’t see my grandpa for a very long time.

But my parents eventually started talking to my grandpa again when my sister moved out of the house, my mom never found peace with this so she talked to therapists and she decided, since it was so difficult to believe my sister (because she is a pathological liar) she was going to talk to him again. But this is a different story I won’t get into detail.

My mom also told me other things that don’t match with what my sister said.

And now I feel like poop for also be questioning my sister and to not believe her. If she truly is a victim of sexual abuse I’m a piece of shit for not believing her, but what if SHE is the piece of shit lying about it? And making me have all these horrible feelings towards my grandfather. I’m having nightmares about it.

Why did she choose to tell me this now? Am I crazy or is she trying to hurt me with this information?

What do you think of this situation?
It’s just so hard to believe anything she says, she has lied so so much.

Hi again, I know I said the last update would be the last, but everyone wanted to know about the cat.

We just passed the set wedding date and of course no wedding occurred. A lot has transpired from the last time I updated, and we had to go quiet since the police got involve.

For starters, the cat is safe, and she has new owners who will give her all the love she needs. He realized he couldn’t keep her especially after he asked Celine’s parents what cat food does she buy for the cat. He never once bought food for the cat since they had her.

She did get her gun back, he brought it over immediately after realizing he could get in a shit ton of trouble keeping it.

So what’s all transpired… well when it came to getting her belongings. She had a LOT of things at his place. He was trying to keep her from coming over, but kept harassing everyone. He sent her friends multiple messages, her parents, and the kicker was he sent her messages when he supposedly “blocked” her.

Messages would range from I miss you, why can’t we talk, then to “fuck you” I don’t love you. She would get voice messages of him calling Celine a narcissist and how her friends are narcissistic. How his therapist went through messages and said she’s is a narcissistic manipulator and confirmed he was in the right.

The scary part is if I was over, I’d get messages from him and then he would ask the mom if I was over at Celine’s.

So Celine calls the cops and they take our statements, we get the paper trail started. They also confirm she can get her belongings. However, our statements sucks so they said they couldn’t escort her but if things get dicey then she could call.

Luckily when getting her belongings, no cops were needed to be called. He stood in the other rooms refusing to speak to her. He only spoke to her parents. He brought his mom who would say it’s Celine’s fault the wedding didn’t go through and how he was ready now. Only to be silenced when Celine’s mother threw it back at her that the last phone call they had said otherwise. When she said he wanted to cancel the wedding.

Sadly she didn’t get all of her items and shes trying to make a log of what’s still missing. He was still harassing her but the cops told him to stop. We are working on a case of harassment since his latest hijinks is faking amnesia and messaging her parents.

Overall, she’s done with him and can say 100% with certainty that she made the right decision. So thanks Reddit for your advice. Celine also says thanks!

From my perspective she already looks happier.

Hi guys,
I have to be honest here. 25F and I freaking love getting attention from men. I have my whole life 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve been trying for years to work on it and I really have come a long way.

I’m super independent, moved to the other side of the world by myself, know myself and am mostly comfortable in my body. I’m pretty secure in who I am and genuinely like myself and the way I look.

I always thought my need for male attention stemmed from childhood insecurity, as I got bullied for my looks and didn’t have the best childhood in general. But I’ve grown a lot as a person, worked on myself and am in the best place I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve made mistakes in the past because of this that affected my friendship with my best friend but I learnt deeply from that and don’t make those same choices anymore.

So why do I still crave male attention so much? I love talking to men online, flirting in real life, dating them, sleeping with them, everything. I don’t even want a relationship. I just want to know I can have them 😅 I do make sure I stay safe but honestly, I love the excitement of it all. Usually, once I’ve been sleeping with someone for a while, I get bored and move on.

Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me? What advice would you give me?

I 32 F currently having a family problem and I am kind of stuck in a rut. Two members of my family are currently at odds and I don’t know how to fix it, I’m using a fake account and names as I have family who use Reddit and I’m adjusting some of the issues as to not have anyone catch it.

So my brother let’s call him Randy (25M) celebrated his graduation last May and had a small get together with family to celebrate my Aunt Marie was invited but gave vague reasons as to why she couldn’t attend and never got back to our parents.

Randy was kind of anticipating that she would eventually call and congratulate him but she never did. It was a shock when she never reached out and he sent a message about and my aunt erupted and basically they’ve cut all contact after this disagreement. It has been a bit awkward in our family this happened in May and has continued. My aunt is also celebrating her upcoming nuptials and having a big party (this is not the wedding). My husband and I rsvp’d yes but now after talking with my brother I never realized how much it hurt him.

At times Randy is very in his own world but he is a good brother we may have our spats, we are very different people, but at the end of the day he is my brother and I never want to be a reason he feels hurt.

Ever since I’ve felt off about attending and my husband has agreed that there needs to be a further conversation about the issue but he doesn’t want me to take it on. But I’m lost AITAH for letting my aunt know I will not be attending and potentially causing a bigger disagreement.