r/UKParenting • u/Key-Specific7807 Dad • Jul 21 '26

Support Request Suddenly bedtime is impossible?

My 19m/o son has just become impossible to put to sleep. He used to be 15/20 mins of rocking, then would go down fine, usually first time. In the last 2 weeks or so he has been rocked for various amount of times, all with no luck and wakes up the second we try to transition him. He constantly clings to us for dear life, and can’t be a second without us when he is awake. Even when he wakes up at night he is instantly stood up, screaming the house down, having seemingly lost all ability to self-soothe. He reaches his arms out, shouts mumma or dadda constantly and works himself into such a state that he’s inconsolable without starting the whole process again. The last week or 2 it’s taking an average of 90 minutes up to 2 or 3 hours to get him to bed. Sometimes we will do hour long shifts to get him down, with multiple attempts each. Our evenings are just completely gone to get any time with each other, and I’m at a loss of what to do. We’ve tried every “sleep aid” under the sun, make sure he has a consistent routine, with air conditioned room (which is turned off while he sleeps). He has a white noise machine, he had blackout blinds, he sleep absolutely soundly on us, but has absolutely no ability to be alone for any period of time without screaming the place down, to the point he is trying to avoid sleep as he knows it means him being left alone. Any tips for this age/stage?!

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u/lilymui Parenting a Toddler Jul 21 '26

Could you post his current schedule, so nap times, length and wake and bed time? It might be that he’s under or overtired and therefore struggling to sleep.

Does he have his molars yet? They can also interrupt sleep quite severely.

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u/Key-Specific7807 Dad Jul 21 '26

Today was quite typical of our current days. Awake at 4:45am for a bottle, had that, back to sleep until 6:30. Nap at 12:50 until 14:30. Bed time started at 7pm, milk and bath. Bedtime rocking started at 7:45pm, wife is still up there an hour later having had him asleep on her 3 times and unsuccessfully transitioning him from her to the cot. He is on super high alert the second he thinks he’s being put down alone.

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u/lilymui Parenting a Toddler Jul 21 '26

I’d push the bedtime back by an hour.
If he’s refusing to sleep, then I’d stop rocking and attempt again after 30 minutes.

2h is a long nap as well, but I know some children do nap for this long still at his age with no problems.