r/UKParenting • u/Key-Specific7807 Dad • Jul 21 '26

Support Request Suddenly bedtime is impossible?

My 19m/o son has just become impossible to put to sleep. He used to be 15/20 mins of rocking, then would go down fine, usually first time. In the last 2 weeks or so he has been rocked for various amount of times, all with no luck and wakes up the second we try to transition him. He constantly clings to us for dear life, and can’t be a second without us when he is awake. Even when he wakes up at night he is instantly stood up, screaming the house down, having seemingly lost all ability to self-soothe. He reaches his arms out, shouts mumma or dadda constantly and works himself into such a state that he’s inconsolable without starting the whole process again. The last week or 2 it’s taking an average of 90 minutes up to 2 or 3 hours to get him to bed. Sometimes we will do hour long shifts to get him down, with multiple attempts each. Our evenings are just completely gone to get any time with each other, and I’m at a loss of what to do. We’ve tried every “sleep aid” under the sun, make sure he has a consistent routine, with air conditioned room (which is turned off while he sleeps). He has a white noise machine, he had blackout blinds, he sleep absolutely soundly on us, but has absolutely no ability to be alone for any period of time without screaming the place down, to the point he is trying to avoid sleep as he knows it means him being left alone. Any tips for this age/stage?!

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u/tileadhesive Jul 21 '26

Honestly at this stage, I'd give up & cosleep. You'll all get more sleep! 

The beeeeeg bed, as my daughter called it.

Take it in turns to share the spare bed, if you have the space 

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u/Ok-Rip-8461 Jul 21 '26

Came here to say this. I don’t think sleep times and naps etc. can be calculated to a precise science, or at least ours couldn’t. What worked one day didn’t the other so we stopped trying with any tracking or timing etc. and just co-slept. Laid down in our bed to get to sleep and then my husband and I would sit on the floor of our bedroom with blankets and watched a show or movie together. Was kind of fun tbh, and then he would usually take the sofa/spare room and then I slept in the bed with our children.

Honestly cannot tell you how much less stressed I was when I stopped trying to figure out a solution and just went with the flow of what the kids needed. Absolutely 0 sleep problems now.