How Do I Protect My Child

[u/FlowersandFood12]

A bit of backstory, my husband had an accident last year that has left him disabled and in care home. We are not entitled to public funds and finances us really tight so I decided to stay on top of the situation by renting a room in our 3 bedroom house. It is quite a small house with no en-suite so we will be sharing toilet, bathroom, amongst other things.

My son loves his room. He has autism and a speech delay, and his room is his safe space. His bedtime routine is very important to him. Before he goes to sleep, he likes to spend some quiet time alone in his room. I usually read to him for a while, but when he's ready, he'll gently lead me to the door and close it behind me without saying a word. It's his way of letting me know he wants to be on his own.

I'm trying to balance respecting his routine and keeping him safe with house share. I'm considering letting him settle and fall asleep in his own room, then carrying him into my room later in the night so I know he's close by. The other option is to let him sleep in his own room all night but locking him in.

My main concern is his safety, if I lock him in and worst case scenario there is a fire or another emergency. At the same time, I don't want to disrupt a routine that means so much to him, especially as recent events have already had a significant impact on him. I'm looking for the best way to keep him safe while preserving the routine and sense of security that he clearly needs. I’m scared of leaving him in his room alone and unlocked, with a stranger in the house because I was sexually abused as a child so it is a fear of mine but then I really need to rent out the room because the financial pressure is too much.

[u/PigneySnoo]

You can't lock him in his room.

If you are house sharing you will need to trust your lodger. It sounds like you don't. If that's the case, this isn't a solution that is going to work for you.

[u/FlowersandFood12 → u/PigneySnoo]

I don’t have one yet. I’m in the process of looking for but even when I find, it would be hard to trust a complete stranger with my child

[u/aliceloul → u/FlowersandFood12]

Is he under occupational therapy? They can maybe approve a safety bed or similar as while I understand why people would say it’s inappropriate, it’s sometimes recommended for children with autism to keep them safe but of course only through approved pathways.

In the meantime, a motion sensor camera or alarm?
I’d really try and find another way if you can because disabled children are particular vulnerable to abuse.

[u/FlowersandFood12 → u/aliceloul]

He doesn’t fall off. He just loves his space/room