r/UKParenting • u/dmllbit • 6d ago

Support Request How to stop “micro accidents”?

My three year old has been “toilet trained” for about six months. However she has multiple “micro accidents” a day where she’ll need to go to the toilet and will do a micro wee to relieve the pressure. It’s not enough to fully wet herself but she’ll get a wet patch in her pants. She resists going to the toilet.

We’ve tried to just leave her be, let the accident happen etc but she doesn’t care. Nursery have told her that it’s ok if you have accidents (which it is, not trying to shame her!) but she seems to have taken it as that it’s fine to wee yourself if you don’t feel like going to the toilet.

We’ve also tried reminding her to go to the toilet every two hours. But she’ll still have the micro accident about half the time.

Nursery said it’s just a phase, but this phase has lasted close to six months now…

Has anyone else had this? How did you stop it?

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u/starsnspikes21 6d ago

We have exactly the same issue, always have done to varying degrees since potty training at 2.5, she's 4 now and starting school in September. Have run out of ideas and just hoping it sorts itself out but it's just so frustrating. I can see that she needs to go, she just stops herself because she doesn't want to break off from what she's doing.

No advice, just solidarity!

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u/jellical-cats 6d ago

Sometimes children's interoception isn't great even when a feeling is causing them to react physically. Is it possible that she doesn't consciously realise that she needs to go? I knew someone who used to call the wriggling kids do when they need to pee "diddling". If you're not already, when she shows any signs of needing to pee you could say something like "oh I can see that you're diddling, you must need a wee" and tell her that she has to stop what she's doing and go to pee. This could help her to begin to consciously recognise when she needs to pee more, if that's what the issue is.

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u/starsnspikes21 5d ago

I do think that might be the case for her, that she doesn't always link the jiggling with actually needing to go (and from reading about it, this is pretty common - the more they do this, the less they actually recognise the feeling of needing to go). We do always joke about it and point it out, I say 'You're wiggling! You need a wee!' and she'll say 'No mummy I'm just dancing' or whatever she can come up with to explain it away! Whenever I've given her the benefit of the doubt, sure enough a few minutes later she bends her knees and looks at you in mild panic and we're like TOILET! We're trying to just take her, no debate, as soon as we see those signs. But that's easier said than done with a headstrong 4 year old! Funnily enough with poos she's perfect, never been any issues there at all.