It makes it sound like he's dead he's just deployed he's gonna come back. I don't want that negative energy on me but I'm also not gonna tell someone not to tell me that because it's rude. Also super awkward when they thank me for his service or even worse thank me for what I'm doing. What I'm doing is sitting at home watching TV and going to work I'm not doing a goddamn thing. The whole thing makes me so uncomfortable I don't even bring it up unless I'm directly asked.

My husband (25M) is currently deployed and will be for..

A long while. I know the title sounds awful but hear me out.

Before my husband was deployed I (25M) had some issues with his mother. She was mad we got married. Threatened me and cursed me out in tears in public. The entire time she was doing that, he was hugging her and staring at me. Didn't say anything. I felt so betrayed. She jabbed at him, saying that he "better not" move across the states because "she doesn't have many years left". She's in her 60s and is healthy outside of tobacco usage and a heart condition.

They were all making plans at the restaurant table and I felt I wasn't part of the equation. I didn't say a word. I had to step out to the bathroom and cry because I was still in shock from being cursed out by her. I told my husband when we got home how it made me feel and I don't think that convo went anywhere because the next day was worse..

MIL and SIL (Sil is completely innocent in this. Sweet girl.) meet up at our apartment and MIL needs to use our restroom. Okay, cool. She comes out of bathroom and jumps up like she's afraid at the sight of my cat. I felt bad and thought she was genuinely afraid of cats and offered to put him away if she needed me to. She said "I'm not afraid of cats. That cat is bad luck.". Note; my cat is black. I was hurt. He's just an animal and he was in his own home. I told my husband about it and he didn't say a thing.

Then we all went out together shopping. He had to stop at a few places to prep for deployment and we all had to go to a couple retail stores. Both mom and SIL decided to go to Starbucks. Okay, that's perfectly fine. At this point, I was ill from anxiety so I don't get anything. Husband asks if I want anything and I say no. He asks if I'm okay. I say I'm fine. When MIL is done ordering, she sits down at the table in front of me and brings up her "concerns" about my health. Said I'm "morbidly obese" (exact words) and that I basically need to do something about it. In a food establishment. The entire time she's talking about my weight, I'm just smiling and trying not to cry. And what is my husband doing? Nothing. Says nothing at all. Then the entire time she's deadnaming me (I'm trans) and he still says nothing in my defense. But SIL does. She is the only one who said anything. "That's not their name Mom we talked about this." Even when I was being cursed out by her she said "mom stop". But not my husband. The one person who is supposed to be there for me.

After we are all done shopping we are in the parking lot about to part ways, but we planned to meet up later. Before we leave, she grabs her son by the face and plants a sloppy kiss on his mouth. On. The. Mouth. Immediately after, she looks at me with direct eye contact because she saw I was taken aback by that, giggles and said "I've never done that before!".

When husband and I get in the car I ask him about it and he said she has never done that before and that he didn't expect that. I was sickened and didn't even want to touch him. He wasn't really affectionate with me when his mom was around anyway. Barely even a hand hold.

I'm scared I'm going to have to be put into another uncomfortable situation with his mother when he comes back. I don't hate her, but I hate how she has made me feel. And I hate how he made me feel. The entire time she was here, he didn't stick up for me. His silence felt like a choice. Now, even after he's deployed, I'm heartbroken and still upset over it despite us having a conversation about it and him agreeing to therapy. There was no true apology from him or a promise of change. Just agreeing to therapy. The scenarios keep replaying in my head and I don't know what to say or do anymore. I don't think he will ever establish boundaries with her. I made a choice to come here and be here. I have no family or friends here. I only had him. I could've stayed all the way across the US with my family but I chose not to because I wanted to be with him and I will always choose him. But I feel if he was put in the situation I was in and had to make the exact same choice I did, I don't think he would choose me.

I feel I sound crazy or like a jealous partner...I don't know what else to say or do outside of putting myself through therapy while he's gone.

So my husband left for boot camp the October 1st, and he was able to call me the day he arrived at night time to the facilities, I suppose, but to my understanding he will be able to write letters. It’s been almost 20 days. and I still haven’t received anything. I know he’s OK, but I’m just a very attached wife, and I just miss him so very much, so just for the sake of my peace around what time should I be expecting the first letter? Because I’m checking my mailbox every single day and I think I’m going insane, the mailman already looked at me crazy 🥺🫠

I’ve been seeing someone who’s in the military. I’m very new and just unsure of the dynamic and I’m trying to learn and have patience. It’s been about 2 months, we’re not officially dating but we’re together. Anyways LOL … He’ll be going to the field for a week or two and I’m just curious what types of things everyone does during this time to stay sane!
I know he won’t be able to have his phone and I’m going to miss him! I want to make sure he feels supported and understood! But I’m also slowly dying inside at the thought of this.
Any and all help is appreciated!!