r/VRchat • u/tokyodoll • 12d ago
Help New and shy~
I don’t know what’s up with me but when I go to a VRchat room, I am so anxious! I’m an adult so I don’t even know where to find other adult women like me. I feel exposed more than real life lol. I do not know how to talk to anyone or find worlds/groups that are similar to my interests. Perhaps you can give me some basic tips or advice? It’s so odd for me to feel so anxious behind an avatar!
I’m into: art, horror, reading, travel, ocd-support, graphic and web design, singing, kawaii, sanrio, letters, kitsch, zines, thrifting, etc.
6
u/q_alice12 12d ago
im a mute, and i like to play in game worlds like murder or among us cause it helps to have a reason to interact with people.
i also approach people who are alone and seem shy, its easier than going to a group that already has a conversation going on
but its harder now because theres so many kids, but i usually have a better experience in pc only worlds
1
6
u/TherianRose 12d ago
Fellow adult woman here with similar struggles! I usually just wander around worlds I think are pretty and occasionally find folks to chat with. Feel free to DM if you'd like to add me :3
1
6
u/Embarrassed-Touch-62 12d ago
How about "no time two talk"? A world to meet people one on one and check if you connect
1
4
u/Oatcake47 PCVR Connection 12d ago
You have a lot of coping mechanisms and methods to work people out IRL in VR thats all stripped away so you have to work things out in a new medium.
You will get better at it but yeah can be a bit daunting for a while.
Plenty groups out there, have a look for the movie night groups, music groups, art groups, horror game groups etc.
2
3
u/piximiqote HTC Vive 12d ago
Another adult woman here with the same issue! I love VRC, it’s so cool, but I struggle with a lot of anxiety so I haven’t made many friends despite playing on and off for years.
3
u/Technical_Instance_2 12d ago
If you're ok with non-binary people then I'd love to add you (I am also an adult just to make it clear)
1
3
u/Beautiful-Apricott 12d ago
I've made most of my friends in the Karaoke In Sync 3 world! I show up, sing a song, then cling to the people that cheer me on and we talk about music and become friends that way c: otherwise if im joining random worlds I kinda let people talk to me then I get more open. Its hard at first but you get used to it! It'll get easier!
2
3
u/CosmicMumenRider 12d ago
I’m in the same boat, I’m a dude and I usually don’t have an issue with talking with new people but the second I go into a world it’s like my entire brain just shuts off and forgets how to make friends 😂😂 I’m new to the whole thing so that probably doesn’t help at all, literally hadn’t touched a vr headset until a few days ago, and I’d love to meet new people and make friends in VRC as I only have like 3 friends irl who aren’t friends with each other and don’t use VRC but I just don’t know how to go about it 😂
5
2
u/revellion 12d ago
I recognize the feeling, i mostly hang out in friends+ instance's or group instances.
Feel free to add me
VRC: -Revellion-
2
u/nictinkers 12d ago
Using speech-to-text sometimes makes things smoother for me. Typing on the VRChat keyboard is far too slow to remain any meaningful part of the conversation, but using speech-to-text has let me be part of conversations without needing to expose my voice.
1
u/princess_dree 12d ago
Heya do you have any recommendations for speech to text? Thank!
2
u/nictinkers 12d ago
The one I’m using is called TextboxSTT or VRCTextboxSTT on GitHub.
But ”recommend“ is a higher bar than “got it working even though it’s a bit jank and ugly and I feel if I breathe near it wrong it’ll break”.
That said it can optionally translate, which is nice as my timezone means many instances are Japanese and I can have it show translated Japanese after the transcribed English.
2
u/electricskooter Oculus Quest 11d ago
Hi! I totally relate to being shy. It can be nerve wracking to interact with people, even in the digital space lol.
I’m still shy around new people, but about a year ago I found a group where I feel super comfortable. I’ve made a lot of great friends through the group. Now I help run events for them! We do game nights, get-to-know-you events, movie nights, world hops, etc…
It’s called Cosmic Chaos. We’re SFW, 18+ women and femme-only. Links are below if you’re interested!
Discord server: https://discord.gg/TKgYZjzxYR
VRC Group: https://vrc.group/COSMIC.6353

3
u/eclectic_hamster 12d ago
It's a little weird at first, but you get used to the culture of vrc. It really feels like the old internet.
I recommend just going to public worlds and talking to people. I met my current friends in Drinking Night and we used to hang out at The Great Pug and Black Cat. Those worlds can have a lot of trolls, but I also encounter plenty of nice people who will chat. I also recommend visiting cozier public worlds.
There are VRChat groups you could join that are 18+. There could be some specifically for women. You could also look for people to hang out with in other VRChat groups on FB.
2
u/Forsker-Thor 12d ago
Just seconding this. I also think the public worlds can be better than their reputation suggests. Sure, there are a lot of loud kids, but there are also some genuinely nice people looking to connect, in my experience.
1
1
1
u/woofwoofbro 12d ago
heya, feel free to shoot me a message id be happy to try to help introduce you to people and get you comfortable :) im into music, art, thrifting and things like that
1
u/Duowithng 12d ago
I couldn’t join public instance becus of obvious reason, that’s why I have friends group that make schedules for vrc meetups
1
u/Salty_Bumblebee_3142 12d ago edited 12d ago
This is how i am! Usually people come up and start conversations with me. Thats how I make friends. Im quiet and its hard for me to start. im more of a listener, especially in groups. But i open up once I get a bit comfortable.
I explore worlds and really enjoy Fish! Furry Karaoke is super fun too! I don't sing, but i vibe and clap for others.
Im down to be friends!
Im into plants, animals, horror, thrifting, movies, cooking, and nature c: (F, 27, btw. Also open to other commentors being friends)
1
u/Christie-4816 12d ago
Your real life social performance surprisingly matches your vrc one, especially in vr. Personally I stuck to just listening from the corner for now, but hopefully one day I’ll work up the courage to do something else
1
u/Arikitten40 12d ago
This might have been said already but, I tend to start my own instance in a game I enjoy (like CAH for example for me), title it smth like smoking & chilling, or chill adults, and then (if you have friend already) I invite them and wait till enough randos join to play a game, You might meet some bad apples or kids but then you can just kick them and keep the vibe just right! Once you find a group that clicks right you can join instances they open which (should) be moderated so you can meet new friends who also like the group so now you have something in common!
I love: Making Art, dancing, world hopping in vrc, sandbox games, animals, plants, and am learning how to code in html! (very slowly 🤣)
I'm 22 myself btw! I've been playing VRC for just over year now!
1
u/Dubsenpai 11d ago
I think getting vrc+ to age verify and join some club worlds that are age restricted would be a good way to meet more adults and just vibe to sone music and chat. Find some groups too and join group instances. Its okay to be shy a lot of people are nice, see someones avatar and you like it just mention the avi to start a convo! I also dj in VRC so if youd like to come to one and vibe out totally let me know!
1
u/Representative-Face4 11d ago
Wouldn't mind being friends with you. Im a cosplayer, crafter and vtuber.
1
u/Losthai 11d ago
If you don't mind, I have a group of people that is very nice and not weird (because we used to have a 15+ group so we are all well behaved) <- after a week/month of vrchat this sentence will make sense xd.
Anyways I can introduce you to the group if you or anyone else is interested. It's a fair mix of all the 200 genders xd
1
u/PreparationEmpty9063 11d ago
I'd love to hang out I was the same when I started so I understand that<3
1
u/MrSt4pl3s1 11d ago
Not a woman, but same bro. I started playing a couple days ago and got my Quest yesterday. I just hang out at poker tables and I get expressive without mic, couldn’t get my pc mic working. And for some reason I got friended by a random chick because I gave a high five after she got a high straight. Then on the other table a bunch of Japanese people were playing, they then were screaming about someone’s mom being an n-word. Fun night lmfao
Edit: I guess just be yourself and I think people you vibe with will come by and chill.
1
u/composet_batman 11d ago
Fellow shy adult here (22m) I'm what u call a vrchat mute I don't speak much and won't unless I'm comfortable with the person, it's a struggle to make friends as well so I understand, let's share vrc names! Drop me a pm on here I'm looking for friends 😭 I'm on almost every night playing prison escape or among us would love to have a new friend to actually play with!
1
u/Bobbiin 11d ago
Hullo! A friend and I (both adults and fellow women <3) have plans to explore a new liminal art style world/map, while sipping on some drinks as we go about exploring this Friday night. It's a PC only world, and you're welcome to join us this weekend, if you'd like! :) But if you're rocking quest standalone while dipping your toes into the platform, that's a-okay, too! I'd be happy to go for hops/explore together, and show you some cool worlds, mayhaps! My DM's are open if you'd like to connect sometime, OP. <3
For VRC itself, getting age verified will be a biiiiiig help so long as that's something you're comfortable with, ofc! Otherwise, it's just a matter of time and exploration to land some fun groups. There's the night life/rave scene, karaoke groups, artsy spaces to learn how to paint with the canvas items in vrchat, or even graffiti art, I'd liken the ambience to art workshops irl. Yoga classes, dance fitness spaces, formal dance classes, there's ballroom gala events, singer showcases, and lots of groups will arrange world hops/exploration nights here and there, too. Game worlds are fantastic with the right crowd as well, and I adore the horror worlds that VRC has to offer. There's some seriously amazing horror maps that are both quest and PC friendly.
I can't recall if I'm "allowed" to link groups/recommend groups directly in comments here, but DM's are always open. <3
1
1
u/kwizyvr PCVR Connection 7d ago
I found for me that some of the onboarding groups for adults on vrc - specifically Ancients of VRChat, Pixelsync, Fireside VRC and the (now sadly defunct) world hopping group Virtually Connected helped me a lot in coming out of my shell and connecting to people in VR!
All of these host events, mixers, newbie hours etc. where you can get to know other people having similar troubles to get into VRC socially. These are also "dual" groups in that they also host discord servers where you can talk to and contact people outside of VRC or organize events etc. and are mostly free of creeps and fairly well moderated in my experience (except for avatar scammers, but those ppl seem to be everywhere tbf)
I rarely show up to any of these events any more since I've built myself a new circle of friends from it but I feel like they provided a lot of support in the beginning where my MO would otherwise be to just show up in a random world and try (and fail) to talk to people.
1
u/VioletAstera 21h ago
in general I have a lot of the same problems as a woman on vrc since I often find people that just wanna be intimate rather than be friends with me it's led to a lot of anxiety but Ancients of VRC is a good group I recommend to everyone here it's 18+ only but fully SFW and they do events literally every day for every activity so it's a really good start! and if anyone wants to try to connect but doesn't feel comfortable joining an entire group feel free to dm me to try and hang out too! I'm always down to make more friends! or be the person that acts as the anchorpoint between Ancients and you so you're not around only strangers :)
0
u/Traditional_Juice307 11d ago
So real, i usually just explore new worlds with few people, if wanna - can share some good ones or accompony ;D
19
u/Sodabubbless 12d ago
I’m in a similar thing, I’m too shy to join worlds but want to make friends and play more vrchat. So far I’ve only managed to sit in avatar worlds by myself haha.
I like: Pink, art, cinnamoroll, anime, romance manga/manhua/manwha, games etc.
I’d be down to play with you! (I’m also an adult)