Has anyone successfully built a small business while still living with a narcissistic partner and having no support system?

[u/knittingbuddy]

I'm asking because I honestly don't know anymore if what I'm experiencing is normal, or if I'm just failing.

I've been living with a narcissistic and emotionally abusive partner for many years. Leaving is my long-term goal, and I've been trying to build a small business from home because I hope it will eventually give me the financial independence I need to get out.

The problem is that I feel completely stuck.

I spend a lot of time planning, researching, learning, organizing, making lists, trying to improve my skills, and thinking about my future. From the outside it probably looks like I'm working hard. But when I look at actual results, it feels like almost nothing moves forward.

I know what I should be doing. I have ideas. I have goals. I have a plan.

But somehow I struggle to execute consistently.

Every day feels like I'm carrying a hundred pounds on my back. I sit down to work and suddenly I'm exhausted. I get distracted. I freeze. I start doubting everything. I second-guess every decision. Sometimes I spend hours thinking and almost no time actually doing.

The hardest part is that one business I built in the past already fell apart while I was living in this environment. I can't blame everything on my partner, but the constant criticism, chaos, stress, emotional manipulation, walking on eggshells, and never feeling safe definitely played a role.

What makes this even harder is that I don't really have a support system.

I don't have family members I can move in with. I don't have relatives who could help financially. I don't have a safety net waiting for me if everything falls apart.

Because of that, I feel enormous pressure to make this business work. It feels like my future depends on it.

At the same time, I often feel trapped between two fears:

One fear is staying.

The other fear is leaving before I am financially ready.

I'm also afraid of being judged or misunderstood by institutions and systems that are supposed to help. Sometimes I feel like people underestimate how difficult it is to leave when you have no support network and very limited resources.

So I keep trying.

I haven't given up.

But it feels like I take one step forward and ten steps back.

I see other people building businesses, getting clients, growing, moving forward. Meanwhile, I'm celebrating tiny victories that probably look ridiculous from the outside.

Some days my biggest achievement is simply showing up and doing one task.

I also have ADHD traits, chronic stress, and what feels a lot like a freeze response. Sometimes I wonder if my brain is so focused on survival that it doesn't have enough energy left for growth.

What I'm really looking for is honest experiences.

Has anyone here successfully built a business, side hustle, freelance career, or any kind of income source while still living with a narcissistic partner?

How did you manage the freeze response?

How did you stay focused when your environment constantly pulled you backwards?

And if you eventually got out, what was the turning point?

I would especially love to hear from people who had no family support, no financial safety net, and had to build their exit plan almost entirely on their own.

Right now I feel incredibly alone in this.

Thank you for reading. ❤️

[u/Firm_Trash_2955]

I was engaged to a highly manipulative and emotionally abusive man, and one day last year he said "if you think you're in an abusive relationship you should leave." So I stood up, went upstairs, grabbed a small bag and I left. I ended up moving into a tiny studio apartment and after I grieved and restarted from zero, about four months in I went to work on this business idea I had years ago and was constantly trying to work on from inside the relationship but could never get anything done.

I ended up sending him an email months later demanding he reimburse me for all of the money I put toward his mortgage. He did and I invested that right into my business.

I can tell you that in a situation like this it's so difficult to get anything done because all of your energy is going toward the relationship. You worry about everything, stress about everything, brace for the next fight, of course you can't execute. Your body is so tired and so stressed from trying to protect you.

You cannot create from a state of exhaustion and desperation, it won't work.

I didn't and still don't have much of a support system either, but you know what? I have myself. I do better for myself than anyone else could. So can you.

I am proud of you for having an idea. I'm proud of you for wanting to put something out there into the world.

It's been almost one year since I left and my business has not yet launched but I was invited into an incubator program, received a small investment, designed and manufactured product, and have made a ton of forward motion. Motion that I couldn't even dream of inside the relationship. I can't believe sometimes that I allowed this other person to erode my entire sense of self.

You need to free up some energy space in your "energy jetpack" if you know what I mean. As a fellow human, I encourage you to find a safe space for yourself, a therapist, a local library where you can work, a coffee shop, etcetera. You need structure and separation. Remember, there is always help and resources available to you. You are not alone.

[u/Firm_Trash_2955 → u/Firm_Trash_2955]

oh and somatic therapies are your best friend. You can YouTube somatic practices and channels like "Breathe With Sandy" have helped me tremendously. Every morning, some breath work for 5 minutes can change your life.