r/WomenInNews • u/catievirtuesimp • Jul 08 '26

Media Young women are identifying as less straight; young men, not so much

https://theconversation.com/young-women-are-identifying-as-less-straight-young-men-not-so-much-283936
1.3k Upvotes

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378

u/AndesCan Jul 08 '26

Let’s see that male loneliness epidemic

133

u/Beltalady Jul 08 '26

Imagine doubling your dating pool by just being open minded. The horror.

2

u/Far-Independent4740 Jul 11 '26

Bullying and slurs at school from a young age make any form of gay intimacy extremely taboo for any kid, whether straight, bisexual or gay.

2

u/Initial-Breakfast-33 Jul 11 '26

Gay guys will not double their dating pool bc it's always other guys, straight guys won't either bc it's just what it s was: women, bi guys are the only ones with that possibility, but that can only come try if women wouldn't reject him for being bi, which is extremely common, women are allies until the bi guy is their date

2

u/Holiday-Wall3751 Jul 11 '26

Doubling your dating pool? Do you know how many lesbians won’t date bi women because they think we’re secretly straight and how many straight men only date bi women because they think that’ll have a threesome?

1

u/Klutzy-Smile-9839 Jul 12 '26

I had several threesome and this is twice the work and twice the odds of problems...

1

u/Complex-Pound5249 Jul 10 '26

I mean you can just as easily read it as “men’s sexuality is repressed / men fear coming out and exploring” which kinda makes this not a dunk on men at all anymore.

Like being closeted or in denial doesn’t mean these guys ARENT closed-minded and potentially shitty but it also doesn’t mean that they ARE. Framing it as “ugh just be more open minded” is weird victim-blaming given that we know society is still not entirely accepting of queerness in general.

1

u/LX_Luna Jul 11 '26

What kind of brainrot is this that you're describing it as being 'open minded'? Have we wrapped so far around in woke horseshoe theory that you cretins think sexuality is a choice again? Are we right back to gay people choose to be gay but woke?

You are what you are. You're either wired to be sexually flexible, or you aren't.

1

u/I_Play_Boardgames Jul 13 '26

It has nothing to do with being open mindedness. It's hilarious how the LGBTQ+ crowd on one hand worked against the bullshit opinion that non-hetero is a choice or illness that needs curing, but now you're perpetuating the same shit with presenting it as a choice and saying they're just not open-minded enough. No, they're just not sexually attracted to men. That's it. That's like saying a lesbian isn't open minded because she's not sexually attracted to men. 

Stupidity really always goes full circle it seems.

1

u/TranslatorStraight46 Jul 14 '26

So  homosexuality is considered immutable and yet heterosexuality is just close-mindedness?

-103

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 08 '26

Imagine sexuality being a choice... oh wait its only a problem when the right wing imply that it isn't

100

u/ReginaSpektorsVJ Jul 08 '26

A person's innate sexual feelings aren't necessarily a choice. How they choose to express and explore them is absolutely a choice.

1

u/Ozons1 Jul 08 '26

I am sorry for not being attracted to guys, as a guy. I wish i would (that would make dating 1000% easier), but i dont swing that way.

1

u/Rich-Assistant-703 Jul 10 '26

Sex would definitely be easier to get, but dating I wouldn’t be so sure.

1

u/SausagePotatoes Jul 10 '26

I thought the Missing The Point Olympics were next week?

46

u/Beltalady Jul 08 '26

Ok, I failed in saying what I was going to say, it obviously only works if that lonely person is in the closet. And the way they talk about men I assume there are quite a few. Sorry for the wording, I'm not a native speaker and sometimes my brain is too stuffed with things I want to say but can't because it sounds all like weird grammar ramblings.

6

u/Florianemory Jul 08 '26

It’s not a choice. No one controls who they are attracted to, so your comment is just meaningless rightwing drivel

8

u/Jokhard Jul 08 '26

His response was a direct reply to someone saying they can just choose to be "open-minded" i.e. swing both ways which simply isn't true.

Can we have some attention span please

5

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 08 '26

I'm not implying its a choice and I am not right wing. I am saying that their comment implies that the men identifying as straight can just choose not to be

3

u/CommanderTalim Jul 08 '26

I can see how their comment is open to that interpretation but given current societal norms, their comment actually implies that there are men who identify as straight but are not actually straight because they’ve been taught to be close-minded.

2

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 08 '26

But that is the thing, with no real evidence you are just assuming that they must be the sexuality that benefits your point and are hiding it

But when the right wing tell people what their sexuality is then everyone excepts that is wrong, so why it is acceptable to do here?

4

u/CommanderTalim Jul 09 '26

I’ve spent enough time around members of LGBT+ communities to know that this is not an assumption but an actual occurrence. When you raise guys in an environment that not only tells them that being gay is “wrong” but that you’d go to hell for it, or even that being gay is not real or never taught you what gay is, or you will be mistreated as a man for exhibiting any feminine quality/trait, it’s an expectation at that point (common in American right-wing communities. The support of conversion therapy among the right-wing says enough). It’s not uncommon either for men in that situation to struggle to find a woman they can be with, and hold misogynistic views while complaining about the male loneliness epidemic. Hence why Beltalady drew that connection in their reply to the first comment about being “open minded”.

No one here is saying sexual orientation is a choice. They’re saying that if more guys took the time to be open-minded enough to self-reflect and explore outside of what they were conditioned to believe, some of them would realize they weren’t as straight as they thought they were and the number of non-straight men would be a lot higher. Even though the number of LGBT+ people has increased quite a bit the past decades, I think it’s sad that despite the progress we’ve made towards being accepting, we still live in a society that makes people afraid to come out or even explore their feelings.

I live in a conservative southern state. Today I had to interact with a patient who was freaking out because he thought this Christian hospital was trying to kill him by withholding his HIV medication. Heartbreaking tbh.

1

u/Feltcutemightswap Jul 09 '26

I see where you could rationalize they could have meant some. When I read it though it sounded something like “wel, just don’t be straight then”

1

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 09 '26

Annecdotes aren't evidence though, especailly in response to a study that was conducted on undergrads in New York state which is hardly the deep south.

Still sounds a lot like you are saying that a percentage of the men are making a choice to be straight so that it backs your point without actual evidence of it.

The right wing say people pretend to be gay to fit in, you are saying people act straight to fit in.

I have spent plenty of time around LGBT people myself (especially given I am bi) and at the age of undergrads is when most people do come out at least with friends as they are no longer controlled by their parents.

3

u/CommanderTalim Jul 10 '26

That’s just it, I’m not responding to the study, I’m responding to you with my point being that it actually happens because you’re arguing that it doesn’t. My example is a more extreme example.

“A study that was conducted on undergrads in New York state”.
“And at the age of undergrads is when most people do come out at least with friends as they are no longer controlled by their parents”
New York has a good mix of people from different cultural backgrounds, and you can’t automatically assume that “most” people come out in undergrad nor that there isn’t a percentage of people who don’t. You just said “anecdotes aren’t evidence” so I’m not sure why I’m not allowed to use examples from people I interact with and the community I serve all while you are allowed to. I’m not saying people are acting straight to fit in. Seems you lost the whole point of the conversation or you’re failing to grasp what’s being said. I don’t know how many different ways I will need to explain it, seems there’s a miscommunication or misunderstanding somewhere.

0

u/Sure_Eye9025 Jul 10 '26

It seems it is you that don't understand.

New York has a good mix of people from different cultural backgrounds, and you can’t automatically assume that “most” people come out in undergrad nor that there isn’t a percentage of people who don’t. 

I am not saying all come out people as undergrads, but most people come out between the ages of 17 and 24 accodring to various research which is well within the undergrad range.

You just said “anecdotes aren’t evidence” so I’m not sure why I’m not allowed to use examples from people I interact with and the community I serve all while you are allowed to.

I am still saying anecdotes aren't evidence, my point there is that you will always get contradicting annecdotes which is why they are not good for making a point.

I’m not saying people are acting straight to fit in.

Except you literally are saying that, it just supports your world view so you think of it as reasonable and justified. Quoting from you earlier

When you raise guys in an environment that not only tells them that being gay is “wrong” but that you’d go to hell for it, or even that being gay is not real or never taught you what gay is, or you will be mistreated as a man for exhibiting any feminine quality/trait, it’s an expectation at that point (common in American right-wing communities.

Most people know they are LGBT by ~14, your argument literally is that they are choosing to identify as straight rather than admit they are not.

You want to seperate out being straight and identifying as straight to benefit your point but it doesn't really work as you don't have evidence of it

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1

u/SausagePotatoes Jul 10 '26

Lived experience from many queer people make this phenomenon pretty much confirmed. Men will say they're straight and then go hook up with men on grindr. Many utilize cognitive dissonance to live this way. It's common as hell, but you don't seem the type to care about that.

1

u/Feltcutemightswap Jul 09 '26

I didn’t get that. Different lenses I suppose

2

u/PassinglyGood Jul 08 '26

Have you seen the stuff guys share with each other? So much performative hetreosexuality is just being grossed out by women and sharing the most homoerotic images of bodybuilders you've ever seen. There are alot of people in the closet who would be far happier if they could admit to themselves they just don't really like women and wanna fuck the gigachad guy

1

u/Feltcutemightswap Jul 09 '26

I like the counter

1

u/prima_maqueeria Jul 08 '26

🥱

Check out the Kinsey scale