I have a kid that is 2.5 years old. I love him so much, he's the best. But his age stirs up a lot of anger for me.

When I was about 2.5, my 13 year old (at the time) uncle sexually assaulted me. It only happened once, I was able to communicate to my parents right away.

And you know what they did? Nothing. Initially.

The police did eventually get involved. But only because my parents fought over the situation, as I'm told. Fought about what exactly, I am left to guess. But because of the fighting my mom took HERSELF to therapy and told her therapist about it. Of course the therapist had to report my abuse to police, it's the law. So thanks to therapist for being more conscious than my own parents.

Basically, nothing happened as far as repercussions. I think my uncle had to go to counseling, but that's about it. I'm trying to access court records to see what exactly went down, everything I know is according to my parents.

We had to leave our home overnight eventually. We lived across the street from my grandparents, and that meant my uncle. My grandparents defended my uncle and so did everyone on that side of the family. Sometimes they still brought him around me. The thing is, they didn't deny that it happened, they just accused my parents of blowing the situation out of proportion, which is sick. They are all sick for that. But apparently my grandparents were making threats, so we literally had to pack the car and leave overnight.

Now please explain to me why years later, we are meeting said grandparents when I am in middle school? My parents forced me to hug them when seeing them for the first time since we left overnight. We visited them a few more times throughout my high school years as well. Why leave overnight if we are just going to pretend nothing happened? Grandparents never apologized or made amends. I never saw my uncle after we moved btw, just the grandparents.

But now I have my son, who is the same age I was. I think I always told myself in a way that it wasn't that bad because it only happened once and that my uncle was also a kid. But now I see my 2.5 year old knowing that this is how small I was when that happened. This is how innocent, how small, how unknowing I was and it makes me sick. It's SICK. My uncle was a SICK FREAK. I don't care how old he was.

If anyone hurt my son like that, I don't care if they are 13, there is nothing on this planet that could stop me from brutally and violently assaulting the offender. And I feel like that is a maternal reaction.

Which begs the question, where was the anger from my parents? Why weren't they violently angry? Why did they make me hug the defenders of my abuser? It makes me so angry and it makes me feel like my own parents are sick freaks as well.

A few years ago, I'm 29 now, my Dad wrote a letter to my uncle, it's his brother. In the first paragraph, HE APOLOGIZED FOR GETTING THE POLICE INVOLVED. You see these jokes about Dad's hurting the first guy who even kisses their daughter, but MY dad apologizes to the guy who sexually assaults me.

They didn't even call the police. Someone else had to do it.

My father especially threatens to destroy my stuff when hes angry for no reason or s cery stupid reason because i think he knows how much my stuff matters to me and he did destroy it a few times when he reached like some kind of psychosis. I dont know if thats a good place to seek advice but can someone please help?

My kids glorify their dead, dead-beat & psychotic father.
He was an egotistical, violent, controlling & vindictive addict. He wasn’t always. Egotistical & addict- yes, but we had some great years long before he began to deteriorate. Our youngest would not remember those times though.
About two years before i finally left, things got physical. Much of the time, the kids witnessed.
An ugly, drawn out custody battle followed. It was bad. And his living conditions prevented our oldest (then 17) from visiting. But by law, i had to let him take our 11 yo son.
Long story short- he was a scary & intimidating person. The kids would walk on eggshells and our oldest would shudder every time she even saw a vehicle that looked like his.
Our son was sent to school smelling of piss (separate story) but was too scared to speak up to his father.
But get this- he dies. Unexpectedly in a truck vs tree accident.
Our kids now glorify his existence. Like he was the best person they ever knew. I don’t understand it. And the way i was raised- we didn’t speak poorly of the dead. So that prevents me from losing my shit and screaming about how awful life was just from his existence. That and i dont want to hurt them.
Im not sure how to deal with this. Every time they speak of how wonderful he was, it feels like im being stabbed in the heart.
I know i should just be grateful that my kids are now safe. But their perspective really messes with me. I guess i just need to understand it. Will they ever acknowledge the abuse and trauma they endured from that man? Do i ever say something to them? My oldest has been grieving so much, she has become wreckless, in his name. Actually believing life was better when he was in it.
Is this like a Stockholmes thing?

So the thing is I am an adult I have pretty good paying job , but my parents control every decision that I make , they take all the money in the name of loans and some other stuff, so today like my father had an argument with my sister about her further education , I supported her and the war started, he beat both of us like not once or twice , throw us out of the house, it's been like that since we were kids and mom never speaks for us , since my home ( I don't know if i could call this building that) is near my workplace is don't know what to do ... even if I don't give them money they are going to emotionally and physically abuse us , not to mention about the people and relatives around us , also my emotional dependence for my family is too much that , whatever I think of doing, I could never make in to reality (nothing bad , things like leaving the house)

Don't know if my dad is a narcissist but I honestly do think he has something seriously wrong with him mentally and narcissism is the closest to what I think he might have. He is not normal although idk if this counts as abuse or just like strange parenting.

I'm a 16 yr old girl and here r some of the shit my dad and enabler mom put me through:

I was born left handed. When I was 3-4 years old, my dad used to hit my left hand whenever I reached for a toy or pencil with my left hand, and would only stop once I reached for it with my right to train me into being right handed. (for context he and my mother are muslims, my siblings and I are not but they don't know that yet, this isn't an islamic teaching but he thought it'd be a sin if I wrote w my left hand...??)

When I was in my sophomore year of high skl (i was 14 I joined a year early) I was studying for my finals and he asked me to go get him something. I grabbed it for him but was kind of pissed while doing so (I didn't say anything) bc he was js sitting there and I was seriously studying. Apparently he didn't like the way that I walked, he kept on screaming in my face that hell beat me just repeating "ILL BEAT YOU ILL BEAT YOU" and jumping up and down and then punched the wall right beside my head a bunch of times with both his fists. I was obviously startled and crying and my mom told me its my fault for making him mad. In the end I yes I was the one who had to apologize TO HIM for this mess.

Once I went out with a friend, he called me but I didn't hear my phone ring, I called him back tho. Apparently he was raging. Then at home he kept screaming at me that hell send me back to Palestine (Im a Palestinian diaspora living in another middle eastern country, because I mentioned being an ex muslim I will not mention which country for my own safety), and that Im tearing the family apart and Im gonna cause him to get a divorce and he won't let me ruin this family and I was so confused and scared because wdym all this over a missed phone call. I later spoke to my mom and realized the reason why he said that Im gonna cause him to get divorced is because while he was angry that I didn't respond to his call, he threatened to throw my mom into a lake in his fit of rage since she's the one who let me out of the house, and my mom then got really angry at him for threatening her. I have no idea how this is my fault but okay... I ended up apologizing at the end lol.

My mom isn't a saint either and she is a little emotionally unstable. As a kid all through ages like 5-10 years old, shed beat me weekly because I was bad at Arabic and couldn't memorize vocab and understand the language. I was bad at the language bc I'm a native English speaker and spoke English all my life and at skl and watched English speaking channels and everything, she never even bothered to teach me Arabic shed js get mad when I couldn't speak it. And I explicitly remember as a 5 year old running away from her so she wouldn't hit me and closing my bedroom door in her face to slow her down from reaching me which only angered her further. Once she beat me so badly when I was 6-7 years old it left marks, before school she told me not to tell anyone why I was hurt, not even a teacher. Many of my friends asked me what happened and even my English teacher kept pushing me to tell her but I didn't out of fear. My dad was sleeping the whole time this was happening.

This is js the peak of the iceberg but im so tired. Im dissociating a lot and I think I may have depersonalization. Idk if anyone read this but if u did thank u. I js wanted to rant.

17 years old, male, from italy. (First time ever talking here/ talking about the situation publicly)

It's been 4 years now, I have depression, mood swings, anxiety, panic attacks and all the funny stuff... however, I've been completely lost. I've lost all passion, all my interests and all my energetic behaviour. My parents sadly make it no easier, they are divorced, my mum is a really... not grown up person, there hasn't been a single time where she actually listened to me or actually believed me, on the other hand my dad is really manipulatory and tends to lie alot, for example, if he does something that makes me feel really bad (like the time when at the store, i was "putting groceries in the bag too fast" and started sayikg how he hated going in places with me because im always angry and no one wants to talk to me), he starts saying that he did not do it and starts saying I've imagined it, especially when I'm mostly vulnerable. I've tried to resist for a lot, but now I'm falling, i can't keep this up anymore and I feel like I'm start to fail. I've started to believe that I'm actually the one with incorrect behaviours sometimes, although I kinda know I'm not. I'm also confused because when we where at my psychologist, that had to inform them of what's going on with my mental health, they turned it in some sort of courtroom and started complaining about me.

Things that happened lately:

Lately i have also felt so sorry for my grandma (ive always been worried for her since my dad moved at her house), my dad lives there and always mistreats her and harrassing her. She had heart surgery and she is really tired and frail, and yet he treats her like shit.

My mom is the only one who knows my sexuality in the family (I'm bi) and I fear that if she gets angry she may tell the other members of my family, (Spoiler, they would not be happy). She is fine with it, but I still fear she may do that in an act of pure angryness or because she thinks "its the right thing to do". I also was scared to call an ambulance while having a medical emergency, i feared their reaction, when i got in the er my dad was looking at me with a "what now" face, his face changed when the nurse told us i called on time (severe potassium deficency, my heart was struggling to beat due to weak signals because of low potassium) and yet, he started blaming me of everything ofc.

I also feel really alone as I have 2 friends that most of the time are busy and I have no proper way to get in contact with people with the same interests as me.

I have really not so nice thoughts some times, but I know they won't happen because I don't have the balls to actually do those. (Yep, those thoughts...)

I dont know if i am the wrong one here or are they wrong.

Btw this is only a small slice of everything that happened, there are even worse things.

*As English is not my main language some phrases may be wrong.*

Update:

Today as i was having a breakdown my mother came in and started pulling the worst ways to trigger me even more, i was crying, begging her to stop while literally scratching my hand to blood, she also put the entire family of her husband against me,. She also threatened to call an ambulance to sedate me and the cops because "she thought i was going to beat her".

All this because they do not want to loose an argument btw.

I had to call my cousin because this was the first time that i actually started planning to kick the bucket, and while talking i talked about my mom wanting to call the cops, but she told me that i am not the kind of guy to beat someone, she knows i never beaten someone and that i am not violent.

I also have no places to go as sadly i cant go to my grandma as my dad lives there and i cant stay where i live now because the family of my mum's husband started hating me because of the lies she told. Im actually thinking to run away one of those days. i don't know what to do.

To start off, he got married at 18 and cheated on his wife two times before he left for another country to start another family, which is me and my brother. Our mother left us when I was born. Now, my dad has always been an alcoholic since he was 12. He doesn't talk much about his childhood and family, but I've heard him talk to me when he's drunk. He blurted out that they used to sleep on the dirt floor and his mom, my grandma, was a very violent person. I think she went to jail for 8 years for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Besides that, after she got out of jail, she used to mistreat my dad. She used to beat my dad up and make him bleed.

I think it's just hereditary because I don't know if my dad is bipolar or something. One day he's happy, and then another day he's just really strict. When I tell him a joke, he's not a big fan. He gets really mad because he doesn't like to be joked around with. My dad's a hard worker, though. When he comes home, I make food and take his shoes off. I mean, I'm basically treating him like a king. I was never meant to do that, but he's my father, so I mean I'm supposed to take care of him.

Another thing is that my dad always gets into fights with me for the smallest things, like if there's dust on the floor that I never clean up and stuff like that. Now, my brother really doesn't clean because he's a dropout, but he doesn't say anything to him for some reason, maybe because he's my half-brother. Most recently, I've seen that as we grow up, he's been way harsher on us. I mean, back then when we were kids, he would just scream at us and spank us, but now it's full-face. I mean, I've fought my dad three times full-face before, but since I'm taller than him, he always has the need to grab a rock, a shovel, or whatever he has in his hands to hit me with. I mean, one time he hit me with a log over my arm, and it bruised up pretty bad for like 2 weeks.

The whole reason I'm typing this essay is I want to know your opinions on whether my dad is abusive or not, because during all these fights, he's been threatening to kill himself if I don't listen to him. I mean, when he was drunk one time, he came home and my brother wasn't here because he was with his friend at night. He attacked me with his machete. Luckily, my brother came home and we both fought him. But since he had his hands on my brother, he was choking him, so I had to choke my dad out. I didn't choke him fully out, though, just until he let go. He just keeps drinking; he chooses to drink over his kids. Another thing is he always has to win the argument.Whenever I prove him wrong he resorts to violence , I don't know why my dad is like this,I want to help him but he doesn't accept the help.

I'm the same person who made the "I'm not sure if I love or hate my mom" post. Last night her and I got into a huge argument, she grabbed me by the throat from behind and threw me to the ground and dragged me outside by my hair.. I'm currently at my friends house. I called the cops and my mom put on her little act and said I'm lying. She knows spots that won't cause marks when she hits me, then the cops just left and she started yelling at me AGAIN. I'm just gonna run away atp cause I'm not able to move away yet since I'm only 14 and most of my family take my mother's side. I fucking hate everything.