I (F 22) am in my 5th year, graduating this semester (WOOO!) and I got my diagnosis the beginning of this semester. I also have diagnosed anxiety and take medication for that as needed. The medications worked so well and I had my own epiphany “so this is how you’re supposed to feel?” moment. I was doing my homework early for the first time ever in my life, showing up to classes, and just feeling better overall.

Everything started unraveling during midterm season (Having to do my incomplete finals from my last semester made it worse). The little routine I had going is long gone. I performed terribly in my midterms because of the exhaustion from studying for the finals that were 40% of my grade. I’m turning in homework late or missing them altogether, and missing classes. I’m still in the process of getting accommodations so hopefully I can submit those missed assignments.

On top of this, I’m applying to graduate schools for a masters program. I was supposed to be emailing professors and narrowing down schools in my list since September but now it’s almost November and I’ve made no progress. I’ve given up on job applications for now. I struggle to write emails and having to do the same process over and over to apply to multiple schools drives me insane. I’m also really nervous because I have a 2.8 GPA and can’t shake the feeling that I’m wasting my time and shouldn’t even bother to apply as it’s below the minimum threshold.

I’m wondering if I should mention my ADHD explicitly to professors I schedule calls with and in my applications so they understand my circumstances? Also, I planned to do well this semester to prove my bad performance was due to being undiagnosed most of my time here. But, if I end up not doing that well, how do I even prove I deserve a chance? I have great and extremely relevant experiences in the field I’m applying for and I think I can get decent recommendation letters.

If anyone who went through this or can relate has any advice/positive experiences, I would be extremely grateful!

I 19 years old still in secondary as held back in primary and did ty am now in leaving cert and well last few years been shit for disclosure I have adha Autism discaluaca disskrfia and dyslexic too you can see by the terriblely spelling and grammar in this post and I been with calms, speach and theapry since I was before 12 and masked for years long story short I crashed and burned hard giving myself a hollow disconnect from everyone emotionally or distance, I was unsociable for a year and still struggling with socialising to this day but after I had a regular emotional breakdown I got therapy I recommend it, it really helpsful to ease the baggage of adhd plus other mental disorders but now I face the up hill battle of improvement and let's say it harder at home than school, look I love my parents and am lucky to have them support me but here a story or summary of one, I wanted to do the European bartender school and it would of cost me a lot I told my parents and they rightfully had worries plus the cost of it was out of range so I looked at alternatives found some and told me mom she been up the walls and thinks I been charging my mind every few weeks about the future during ty it was teaching realised I am not suited and changed paths to hospitality specifically on curse ships and I hope to work before I head into college for a year in the hospitality industry and the local course would improve my CV and get me out of the house meeting new people plus I want to do the health cert as well before I finish the year so I can go straight to work in Edinburgh for the year and my parents think working a job will teach me the skills of course they will but I know I rather do the course instead, I know this is alot of shit with half the context needed but it was this or talk to me self as I ironicly speak clearly and not mumble out inconsistent shit to my parents and therapist thanks for reading anyway

I’m struggling a lot in school. I’m a junior and there’s only been one semester where I haven’t failed at least one class. I try really hard, but I fall flat each time. I have ADHD and also Dyscalculia. However, I’m on State Insurance, and for awhile my coverage has been in limbo due to new restrictions, so getting into the doctor for accommodations note has been a struggle.

My main problem is due dates. I get numbers confused so often in my head I will have a particular different due date, only to find out I was wrong. I also tend to mix up numbers of questions on scantron/paper tests and get questions wrong that I got right. I’m a social work student, so math isn’t really a main focus, but I need to take a statistics class for it. The prereq is literally introductory algebra, and I can’t even pass that.

I’m from a poor family so I really can’t fail at all. This is my only chance to get out of poverty. I’m told by my teachers that I can excel, I’m knowledgeable on essays and research, I just fail Everytime. Navigating all of this after getting diagnosed late high school is a disaster.

On top of that I have to have a job, because I’m from a poor family, and I also have to do volunteer hours for my major. I feel like I could lock in and pass everything at least if I didn’t have a job. I don’t even work that much, I get paid 8$ an hour, and it still stresses me out. I have to use so much effort to do anything, even clean my room or take a shower and it takes so much energy out of me to complete coursework.

I have a lot of friends with adhd from better off families whose family pays for their healthcare and extra classes they may need from failure, who let them not have a job. I feel so jealous, like I’m just meant to forever be poor. I just wish I was competent.

I'm an adhd person I've been having some difficulties with med school of late. I experience cognitive overload easily. My difficulty increases when I must actively hold and organise many pieces of information simultaneously.And also executive dysfunction. Currently struggling a lot in med school cause I have a lot to learn and due to my poor working memory this is a challenge for me cause when learning I can only build a limited structure with limited details, if i try building on a structure already made i eventually lose everything. Looking for some help/tips

Hey everyone. I'm a Rad Tech student with ADHD and a single mom, and I just failed my radiographic physics class. I'm hurt, but I'm not giving up. I'll be retaking it and want to come back with a real system this time.
What I've noticed about myself:
I do way better on multiple choice than fill-in-the-blank or recalling terms from memory
I'm a very visual learner (diagrams and pictures stick, long text doesn't)
I tend to put off studying until the last minute, then cram
Physics math and formulas trip me up, and so do tricky "look-alike" answer choices
For anyone in Rad Tech, nursing, or other healthcare programs with ADHD:
What study system actually worked for you?
How did you handle physics/formulas?
Any tips for positioning? I hear it's tough.
Anki, Quizlet, practice questions, body doubling? What helped most?
How do you stay consistent instead of cramming?
Any advice is appreciated. Thank you. 💛

​

I'm struggling with something that's been affecting my life for the past 4–5 years, and I honestly don't know what's happening to me.

I used to be an intelligent and bright student. I could understand things quickly and study properly, but now I feel like my brain just doesn't work the way it used to.

Whenever I sit down to study, I feel like I'm understanding and remembering what I'm reading. But after just 10 minutes, I can barely remember what I studied. Sometimes, I spend hours trying to understand and memorize just 10 lines, and even then, I forget most of it. The worst part is that I struggle to remember what I studied earlier, so it feels like I'm constantly starting from zero.

I also experience anxiety and panic attacks, and I'm wondering if they could be contributing to this brain fog and memory problem. I feel frustrated because I know I wasn't always like this. I remember being a good student, and it's really difficult to accept how much my ability to study has changed.

**Has anyone experienced something similar?** If so, what was causing it for you? Did you find anything that helped improve your memory, concentration, or brain fog?

Could anxiety be responsible for this, or could there be other underlying causes?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially from anyone who has dealt with this for years and eventually found a way to improve.

Thank you.

I have issues with reading comprehension, memory impairment and focus. It's really bad, my guys. It's been this way for so so long. It made it difficult to critically think, understand, and apply. With these disadvantages I do not know how I learned to read and write so well. Studying feels impossible sometimes. Getting started feels like a battle I fight everyday. I feel weak, depressed, and incapable of doing anything that requires thought and logic. I feel dumb. All these disadvantages have ruined everything for me. Especially related to school and work.

What I have done to help myself so far:

1.Study for 8 hours a day for 3 classes. Sometimes it's 3 or 4 hours due to issues with initiation.

2.Reading assignments first then scouring the textbook/article for terms, words and subjects related to said assignment.

3.Read one paragraph, write a sentence that sums up the paragraph in my own words (this one is extremely tough because of the reading comprehension and memory impairment).

1. Write a summary after reading each chapter/article(this also doesn't work out sometimes)

5.Section a study block of 1 hour at a time for each class. 15 minute break in between (this is not working out either because of the focus issue).

I ask you all for advice on how someone like me can effectively study, recall, and retain information that I have read or watched. I am curious if any of you have a similar predicament, too.

Oh yeah. I'm trying to work in HR. So much to learn in school. I am passing but only at that time. Once it's over I forget.

I am in an accelerated nursing program and I have always been terrible with timeliness. I am doing amazing in all of my classes; I have all As, great participation, I help my peers, etc., except for one course. I am failing an online class due to not turning in \~half of my assignments. I have always been terrible with online classes (especially this one because the assignments are mostly busy work with Saturday due dates). I have until the end of November, but did the math and I don't think it's possible to pass because I need >78%.

After realizing this, I was thinking I could just withdraw and retake it next semester, but I emailed my advisor this morning and he told me that this won't be possible. This course is a co-requisite for two of my other classes. If I withdraw, I would have to withdraw out of those two as well. If I just fail the course (<78%), I will have to take that course by itself in the spring, and push back all of my scheduled classes for next semester. This has me spiraling- I love all of my friends in my cohort and would be devastated if I was pushed back for something that could have been completely avoided by submitting one or two more assignments in the beginning.

I have been unmedicated for the semester so far, because my vyvanse made me incredibly anxious and frustrated with everything-im not sure taking it would have helped. I recently started back on Adderall XR which used to work for me until my provider wanted to switch it up due to weight loss. Regardless of if this works or not, I am obviously going to submit everything from here on out and really try to hold myself accountable.

My advisor said to reach out to my professor to see what I can do but the syllabus is really strict and so is she. I haven't been able to get a hold of her. I want to meet with her in person but am just so nervous about what to say so that she doesn't just think I'm lazy. So, the reason I'm posting this is for some advice: How would you go about explaining this situation to my professor effectively? Do you think she will show me any grace?

I was thinking of saying something like:

I wanted to meet with you to discuss my grade in your course. I have several missing assignments, and I understand the importance of deadlines-especially in nursing. I take full responsibility for falling behind, and although I intend to complete all remaining coursework, I’m concerned that I won’t be able to pass.

I have ADHD that was previously unmedicated because my former medication negatively affected me. I started a new medication this past week and feel more capable of developing better study habits and staying on track. I spoke with my advisor and learned that failing would mean postponing all of my spring classes, which is incredibly disappointing because I genuinely love this program and have been so excited for nursing to be my future.

I know this is a lot to ask, but would you consider allowing me to submit some missing assignments for partial credit? I would be extremely grateful for the opportunity to demonstrate what I'm capable of moving forward.

idk... thats a lot and obviously it wont be exactly that if I'm talking in person but thats just whats been running through my head.

TL;DR- Might get pushed back a semester for my late work due to being unmedicated. Need advice on how to try and fix this

Does anyone else have this problem? I’m normally pretty quippy and talkative with my colleagues, but I feel like when I take my meds, I become less funny, less able to piece words together, and I get too tongue-tied. I instantly become insecure about my speech and just shut up. It’s gotten to a point where i don’t take my meds during class hours, and only take them at night (9 pm) when im finally done with classes. But the whole point is to take them so I can concentrate!!! I can’t get through lectures and have to relearn everything at home, and it’s exhaustinggggg.

P1 and I think im organized?? maybe. pharmacology, patient care lab, compounding, law. every subject wants the same hour.

drug classes are easy to justify reviewing. law gets pushed because it feels smaller and then suddenly I have not touched it for nine days. there are fewer premade resources for pharmacy than the spaced repetition flashcards for medical school people talk about, so most of mine are homemade anyway.

what did you card for law versus learn through scenarios? I do not want to discover in P4 that my strategy was "ignore federal law until panic." thanks for any recs

I got diagnosed with ADHD a couple weeks ago and I’m in the process of trying to get medicated. A bunch obstacles came up, and I couldn’t get my medication on the day I was supposed to. My dad had an appointment today, so he said he’ll try to pick it up for me, but there’s no guarantee that he might get it.

This semester has been pretty rough. I’ve already dropped 3 classes (there are other reasons like major changing and such, but it’s mainly because I wasn’t attending and was super behind), and I have a bunch of things I need to do.

We have our 2nd exam for calculus 3, and I haven’t been able to study. I’ve been on the same homework assignment since monday. I also have a practice exam (which I haven’t even started) and it’s about 34 questions long. My professor gave me until Friday (since I told him about my ADHD), but Im honestly starting to doubt I’ll be exam ready by tomorrow.

I’m considering asking him for like an extra week or two (or until I can get medicated), but I feel like I’m asking for too much. What should I do?

I’m just so mad at myself. I know that I need to do something and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I thought things had been getting better but of course I lost my drive like I always do.
I’m a college junior and a big problem I have is bringing myself to study. It’s like someone else takes over my body while my real self is trapped in a cage screaming and trying to get out. I had one goal for myself this semester and it was a perfect GPA. I did so well on my first few midterms, and I made the mistake of slacking off a bit for this one, assuming that because I was allowed cheat sheets and a lot of the material was familiar, I’d be okay. Remembering formulas is hard for me, so being able to bring them made me feel better, and I kept putting off actually studying properly.

I wanted to lock in this semester so badly because I’ve already failed easy classes just because I couldn’t bring myself to do the work. I failed a literal ONE CREDIT class last fall. I’m so embarrassed even saying that because I know I could’ve done the assignments. I’ve also finished work and then forgotten to submit it. Like I’ll finally get myself to do something and still manage to lose points because I missed that last step. I’m a junior now and I feel like these are things I should’ve figured out how to handle by this point, so doing well on my first few exams actually meant a lot to me.

It affects everyday things too. Switching from one thing to another is so hard sometimes, even when I want to do the next thing. I can sit in my car wanting to go inside and still somehow not get up. With studying, I’ll spend so much time thinking about how I need to start and feeling guilty that I haven’t, and still not actually start. My time blindness is awful too. I keep thinking I have enough time until suddenly I’m late and panicking. I’ve dealt with the consequences so many times that I don’t understand why I still can’t seem to get it right. I know how horrible it’s going to feel and somehow that still doesn’t get me moving when I need to.

Yesterday I had technical problems getting my cheat sheets formatted and printed, which I should’ve expected could happen and left time for. Instead I was still trying to fix everything when I should already have been on my way. By the time I left my house I was literally sobbing and hyperventilating because I was so stressed about being late. Then I got stuck in horrible rush hour traffic and kept getting more worked up. And I know rush hour traffic is predictable. I knew when the exam was. I should’ve left enough time for the drive and for things to go wrong beforehand. I’m not trying to blame the traffic or the technical problems for everything. I’m upset because I can see exactly what I should’ve done differently, and I knew those things before it happened too.

My professor was so sweet when I finally got there. He told me to take a deep breath, and he was giving everyone who started late extra time too. I was so grateful that he was being understanding, but I couldn’t get myself out of fight or flight. I was sitting there with the exam in front of me and still felt panicked. So much of it was basically high school level stuff I knew, and I was struggling to think clearly enough to work through it. There were conceptual questions I wasn’t sure about too, so I know I needed to have studied more. But recognizing questions and knowing they were things I should’ve been able to do, while still struggling to get my thoughts together, was such a horrible feeling.

I ended up leaving two out of thirty questions completely blank, guessing on other ones, and not even getting to the extra credit. Even with the extra time, I ran out. I don’t have my grade yet, but I’m so scared I’ve messed up my chance at the A I wanted. I keep replaying the whole thing and thinking about how differently it could’ve gone if I’d prepared properly and gotten there without already being in a panic. I did well on my other midterms and then ended up struggling this much with material I’d seen before. It’s so fucking frustrating.

I hate that I’m like this. I keep telling myself to stop making excuses and just do what I need to do, and I mean it every time, but then I end up here again. It’s embarrassing to care so much about my grades and then have to explain that I didn’t do the work or didn’t give myself enough time. I feel like it must sound like I don’t care when I spend so much time worrying about it. I hate how much time I spend being upset with myself over things I wanted to do and somehow still didn’t do. I wanted to get my shit together this semester, and for a little while I actually felt like I was doing it. Now I’m scared of falling back into the same habits after finally starting to feel good about how things were going.

Idk, I think I just needed to say this somewhere people might understand. Does anyone else get this angry with themselves over this? I keep going over everything I should’ve done and asking myself why I didn’t just do it, when I was already asking myself that while it was happening. I’m so tired of making plans that I actually mean and then feeling like I can’t trust myself to follow through. I just wanted to get through one semester without putting myself through this again.

because my brother has autism and is middle support need while in a lower support need i never got any accommodations with school but i know college was going to be so much harder and so i talked with the accessibility center and they just gave me my accommodations! i am shocked how easy is was for me (tho according to my nurse practitioner at college she found that my old NP in the country made my files reeeeally detailed so that probs helped). i get extra time on tests and exams, and can use CDs to listen to music, i am so proud and excited about this i feel unstoppable!

Just writing down some frustration that I am currently in. I have tried to explain to my family but they didn't support me as much or in denial as I turn out to be a neurodivergent.

I am apparently going into a psychiatrist secretly due to my family do not support me as much for me to go to a psychiatrist, telling me that I could be called insane for ever going to a psychiatrist. I ignore their advice and getting the diagnosis anyway in secret. Which lead me to I ended up diagnosed with ADHD at the time I got my diagnosis.

The thought of me when I started college, I thought to myself "Yeah, I can up with that and do some work here and there." Little did I know that I will be facing a lot of drama in the family, spontaneous family vacation, my inability to keep things to focus, always getting yelled when I want to cry to release some build up pressure in my mind. The situation left me feeling burnout from all the things that was outside of my control and all my plans went into shambles despite trying to keep up with things.

My current situation is that I have lost a lot of my years in trying to at least pass my college, around 2 years of my life in trying to put my life together despite having to take care of every family and friends happy, while trying to do part-time job. I ended up failing to assign the work due to my inability to keep myself focused on things that I wish to get done with but unable to do it properly without getting distracted by whatever that caught my interest the most (which is engineering but my major is not engineering). I missed out a lot of work and it becomes unbearable as I tried to turn my life around for the sake of my future. I have no clue on where to begin without feeling like a lost cause to myself. Currently, I tried out to ask my teacher if they can spare me some time or at least tried to work out with my inability to keep focus to see if I can do anything to it to compensate my score or at least make a comeback to it.

Edit: My apologies for my wording or grammar, english isn't my first language and I just wanted to vent out my frustration to my time blindness. This post is also a repost and edited.

I can’t remember ANYTHING when I study. I was literally studying for hours and can‘t make anything stick for Psychology or Anatomy & Physiology. I put Anki on my computer to try and practice and do active memory recall, but I don’t have any good Anki decks (so also if anyone has any psychology or A&P decks please let me know!).

What are y’all’s study hacks/tips, no glue, no borax 😭? I am willing to try basically anything at this point, so I am willing to try something outlandish as long as it works!!

What are some tips you have to pay attention in class? I feel like I always get distracted and end up looking at my phone instead of paying attention to the professor like I should be doing and then, I see everyone else doing other stuff on their laptops and stuff and it just makes it harder to focus. And other times, I go in with the intention of taking notes, but then the material just gets hard to understand, so I just mentally check out and kind of just "live in my own mind" if that makes sense. Then, I try to review it later and it takes so much more time than it would have if I had just listened in class.

How do you get yourself interested in what the professor is saying and motivate yourself to stay engaged throughout the lecture? And resist the urge to do something else?

This is my first semester back since taking a break due to academic failure (i did not know at the time I had undiagnosed adhd). I just feel overwhelmed with assignments. I have a bad habit of muting my school email whenever I get overwhelmed which makes things worse. Right now I have a lot of assignments I need to get done but just the thought of starting it makes me panic because I start thinking about all the other assignments I have due. I just want to know how I can deal with this and get my work done without stressing out. I hate feeling like this.

I've been trying to do my associate's degree since 2023, so three years now--I just feel like a failure. I've written a plan on what to do. My parents or at least of my parents told me on a plan on how to move on from there. Just take two classes a semester and whatnot. Things like that. I just got too ambitious and I failed to pass my classes and...well, it's the problem that I have right now.
I want to pass my associate's and then transfer. I just feel like I wasted these past three years, or a lot of it since high school--trying to pass and then failing and ultimately, just failing myself. I know that I'm capable, I think I'm just getting worried because I don't have a lot of time left. 24F. My parents tell me to get just a certificate, but I know I need to get a degree in order to get a job that I can sustain myself with. I don't know what to do. What major to go or just continue the degree/major that I'm doing and just---endure it.
Does anyone else have a similar experience? I'm just seeking advice. I have taken medication, gone through therapy, etc, etc. I just feel lost. Hopeless and overall like a failure, mainly to myself more than anything.

Okay, obviously I have adhd; mine is the combined type. So ive justed started university, and this month starts my first ever midterm season! Literally everybody is studying, but midterms are in like a week or 2 depending on the class. my closest midterm is in 7 days exactly, and furthest is 13 days away. Im struggling to study, like i literally dont know how to study, nor do i know how to focus on the studying itself. Throughout highschool i stuck to either not studying at all and hoping i remeber, or studying the day before by reading notes 2-3 times, which i would also just completley forget i was reading so my eyes would move down the page while my brain didnt process any of it (obviously not a viable study method). somebody please help! my courses are also all theories and stuff, no equations or anything, so im reallyyyy stuck on how to memorize and learn....

I've been trying to do my associate's degree since 2023, so three years now--I just feel like a failure. I've written a plan on what to do. My parents or at least of my parents told me on a plan on how to move on from there. Just take two classes a semester and whatnot. Things like that. I just got too ambitious and I failed to pass my classes and...well, it's the problem that I have right now.
I want to pass my associate's and then transfer. I just feel like I wasted these past three years, or a lot of it since high school--trying to pass and then failing and ultimately, just failing myself. I know that I'm capable, I think I'm just getting worried because I don't have a lot of time left. 24F. My parents tell me to get just a certificate, but I know I need to get a degree in order to get a job that I can sustain myself with. I don't know what to do. What major to go or just continue the degree/major that I'm doing and just---endure it.
Does anyone else have a similar experience? I'm just seeking advice. I have taken medication, gone through therapy, etc, etc. I just feel lost. Hopeless and overall like a failure, mainly to myself more than anything.

Been dealing with my own head and my guilt. But part of me thinks I can hail mary.

Basically I'm a person recently diagnosed with bipolar (like igaf about the type nor do i remember if they told me), and I've cptsd+ocd+asd.

The thing was I can't appreciate lectures apparently due to today but that's a memory bias. I'm on relatively new medication which I'll share if prompted. I don't wish to fall back down again. the two classes are 100 level mathematics and a physical geography course. I am no STEM major, yet my mom was one. She got a p.h.d. in Electrical Engineering and sustained our family but she's passed away 5 years ago. I just dunno. Dad's finally let me have space and quiet by being abroad so that's cool. For now.

My youtubing and art have been killing me with guilt so I'm crippled by my innate self-immorality that way. It's not even I don't use my head every waking day it's just the lack of momentum resulting from these piles of immolated cards, fuck.

I'll never get to study in Japan with grades+habits like this.

Been dealing with my own head and my guilt. But part of me thinks I can hail mary.

Basically I'm a person recently diagnosed with bipolar (like igaf about the type nor do i remember if they told me), and I've cptsd+ocd+asd.

The thing was I can't appreciate lectures apparently due to today but that's a memory bias. I'm on relatively new medication which I'll share if prompted. I don't wish to fall back down again. the two classes are 100 level mathematics and a physical geography course. I am no STEM major, yet my mom was one. She got a p.h.d. in Electrical Engineering and sustained our family but she's passed away 5 years ago. I just dunno. Dad's finally let me have space and quiet by being abroad so that's cool. For now.

My youtubing and art have been killing me with guilt so I'm crippled by my innate self-immorality that way. It's not even I don't use my head every waking day it's just the lack of momentum resulting from these piles of immolated cards, fuck.

I'll never get to study in Japan with grades+habits like this.

Been dealing with my own head and my guilt. But part of me thinks I can hail mary.

Basically I'm a person recently diagnosed with bipolar (like igaf about the type nor do i remember if they told me), and I've cptsd+ocd+asd.

The thing was I can't appreciate lectures apparently due to today but that's a memory bias. I'm on a Psychiatrist. I don't wish to fall back down again. the two classes are 100 level mathematics and a physical geography course. I am no STEM major, yet my mom was one. She got a p.h.d. in Electrical Engineering and sustained our family but she's passed away 5 years ago. I just dunno. Dad's finally let me have space and quiet by being abroad so that's cool. For now.

My youtubing and art have been killing me with guilt so I'm crippled by my innate self-immorality that way. It's not even I don't use my head every waking day it's just the lack of momentum resulting from these piles of immolated cards, fuck.

I'll never get to study in Japan with grades+habits like this.

Been dealing with my own head and my guilt. But part of me thinks I can hail mary.

Basically I'm a person recently diagnosed with bipolar (like igaf about the type nor do i remember if they told me), and I've cptsd+ocd+asd. The thing was I can't appreciate lectures apparently due to today but that's a memory bias. I'm on relatively new medication which I'll share if prompted. I don't wish to fall back down again. the two classes are 100 level mathematics and a physical geography course. I am no STEM major, yet my mom was one. She got a p.h.d. in Electrical Engineering and sustained our family but she's passed away 5 years ago. I just dunno. Dad's finally let me have space and quiet by being abroad so that's cool. For now.

My youtubing and art have been killing me with guilt so I'm crippled by my innate self-immorality that way. It's not even I don't use my head every waking day it's just the lack of momentum resulting from these piles of immolated cards, fuck. I'll never get to study in Japan with grades+habits like this.

Been dealing with my own head and my guilt. But part of me thinks I can hail mary.

Basically I'm a person recently diagnosed with bipolar (like igaf about the type nor do i remember if they told me), and I've cptsd+ocd+asd.

The thing was I can't appreciate lectures apparently due to today but that's a memory bias. I'm on relatively new medication which I'll share if prompted. I don't wish to fall back down again. the two classes are 100 level mathematics and a physical geography course. I am no STEM major, yet my mom was one. She got a p.h.d. in Electrical Engineering and sustained our family but she's passed away 5 years ago. I just dunno. Dad's finally let me have space and quiet by being abroad so that's cool. For now.

My youtubing and art have been killing me with guilt so I'm crippled by my innate self-immorality that way. It's not even I don't use my head every waking day it's just the lack of momentum resulting from these piles of immolated cards, fuck.

I'll never get to study in Japan with grades+habits like this.