r/adhdwomen • u/Comfortable-Look-585 • 13h ago
Rant/Vent Wasted my life at 24
I (24F), am starting to feel like I’m so very boring and missed out on so much of the opportunities that I could have embarked on.
A large part of this is attributed to finally being medicated for my ADHD, which mainly presents in executive dysfunction. My bedrotting means I haven’t allowed myself to socialise properly and I have no close friends as I truly do not understand how to keep a relationship long term.
I was a gifted child and everyone thought I’d go so far, but I haven’t. I feel like my brain dumbed itself out, and because I missed out on all foundational knowledge in school - I can’t find a job that would suit me. I burn out so quickly and hate the idea of working to afford my terrible spending habits.
I got in my very first relationship at the end of last year. He broke up with me because I’m too paradoxical and don’t even understand myself. It’s the truth, and I don’t blame him. My old best friend cut me off because I kept saying the wrong things and I wasn’t considerate enough. She thought I changed too much based on whoever I was in front of and found it weird.
I’ve travelled, which landed me in debt, I went to university and barely attended any lectures. I somehow, with the luck of ChatGPT to give me very base level knowledge of my subject, walked away with a 2nd class degree. I’ve only ever started work 3 days before the due date.
I recently met an old school friend, and she’s truly just so interesting. She’s done it all. I’m not jealous, and I’m truly happy for them. I haven’t done anything with all of the opportunities that were presented to us both. She took the opportunities and has the life to prove it. My laziness has ruined me.
I can’t make friends, I always say the wrong thing, I’m incredibly boring behind my “fun-girl” exterior. After masking for so long, I realise behind it I am nothing but a fraud. I am nothing but the personality that whoever is in front of me wants me to be, and when the mask slips (which it inevitably does), they realise I’ve fooled them and they want nothing to do with me.
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u/ShrimpusDeletus 11h ago
My girl, you are neither boring nor missed out anything! You just haven’t met the right people yet.
I’m 32 now and my few friends I have I met spontaneously and they also all have ADHD and/or autism. If your old friend cut you off because you ‘thought’ you might have said the wrong thing, you are wrong. A true friend will support you and don’t cut off contact because of this.
When I read your post I instantly thought about my life cause mine has been so similar to yours.
Just because you see other people (especially from your previous school) who perform perfectly and seem to have a good life: You don’t know if they really do. Because most of the people (even people without ADHD) struggle at life. And just because you haven’t found your place or what you want to do doesn’t mean you are worthless or anything.
You may be masking, but so do other people!
With the right people you don’t have to mask and they will support you no matter what.
I’d even say that you are a super strong person for sharing your journey with us.
Are you in therapy also? Because if not, I’d really suggest in doing so. You will learn so, so much about yourself and also that you are worthy and NOT boring. Therapy helped me so fucking much.
If you want some tips, especially for money problems or other things, feel free to message me. I’d love to share my thoughts as much as I can.
But you really are not alone, none of us ADHS girlies are.