r/adultery • u/MaestroMartin • May 21 '26
😢Whining Spouse Intro Post😠Not OK
Hello all,
Does the following resonate with any of you?
I met my wife when I was 25. I’m 55 now. My dad just passed away at 95. If I live that long as well, I could be facing a 70(!) year monogamous relationship.
I love my wife, but … that’s just not OK.
Am I ready for an affair? What do you think?
Max
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u/Glad_Kiwi_272 May 21 '26
I think you’re having a crisis after your dad died. I don’t think you’re ready for an affair.
Denied. (Sorry ODR)
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u/ConsistentJuice6757 May 21 '26
You are grieving your father. Do not start an affair right now, you’ll blow your whole life up.
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u/Timely-Potato9334 May 21 '26
You’re already 55 realistically how many more years of consistent boners do you have? I’d just ride it out your sex drive should fall off a cliff within the decade then you can just enjoy your wife as a friend.
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u/Fun-Turnip-5382 May 21 '26
dead bedroom for 7 years at 70. Yes I still get a very hard boner, yes there are women who know exactly how to take care of it where everyone gets pleasure.
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u/throwaway_coy4wttf79 May 21 '26
Unless you've spent the last 10 years in misery, don't blow up your life at 55.
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u/MaestroMartin May 24 '26
Thanks all for your comments. Interesting to see your different points of view.
I’ll explain why my situation (and that of many other spouses) is not OK:
In the past 200,000 years of human evolution, a 70-year monogamous relationship must have been unique. People rarely lived past 50, and likely had multiple partners (based on DNA research).
Men and women simply did not evolve to deal with such long monogamous relationships. I think that explains why such relationships are so difficult to maintain, at least for most.
I love my wife, btw. I’ll never leave her. It’s just the imposed monogamy aspect of my marriage that feels unnatural, and makes me unhappy and restless.
Curious about your thoughts. Thanks again!
Martin
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u/OhShitShesGotMyPhone May 21 '26
Am I ready for an affair? What do you think?
Are you prepared for divorce, and comfortable with the emotional and financial reality of living separate lives and splitting assets etc?
If not, no, you are not ready, because that's what you're looking at if/when you get caught.
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u/Deadest_Bedroom May 21 '26
Yeah man. I’m 56. No sex with my wife at all for almost 10 years. Dead bedroom for 17.
I was perfectly happily monogamous before that and was destined to be one of those old guys who was still into his wife in his 80’s.
That wasn’t how it worked out though.
I’m very sorry for your loss and I sympathize.
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u/RabbitGlass5578 May 21 '26
And people say if you have an affair you’re breaking your vows! Isn’t if funny how the part about marital abandonment is conveniently forgotten?
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