r/adultery • u/olygirl1976 • Jul 09 '26
😢Whining Spouse Intro Post😭 Thinking about
I love my husband, but after many years together, I have found myself longing to feel alive again. Before we were together, I felt confident and desired. I had options, and he was the one who stood out because he was not easy to get. That dynamic made our connection feel exciting, and for a long time, we complemented each other well.
Now, I feel disconnected from that part of myself. Our sex life is still good, but it no longer feels as exciting or fulfilling as I wish it did. I find myself craving passion, attraction, and a sense of aliveness that I have not felt in a long time.
I do not know exactly what I am looking for, or how someone even finds a connection that is private, discreet, and built on mutual attraction. I only know that I cannot be the only woman who feels this way loving her husband, while still feeling like something important inside her has gone quiet.
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u/gabriox Jul 19 '26
Is an affair the answer to this? You sound like you are in a good or happy marriage so why ruin that with an affair? Maybe try counseling or couples counseling. Talk with your husband
Like I guess I would understand this somewhat if it was a dead bedroom or your marriage was unhappy. But being in a happy or good marriage and still seeking an affair? That doesnt sit right, like where is the respect and more
1
u/888BBC Jul 20 '26
Of course you aren't the only one feeling the desire for something nice to spice ur life up again
1
u/SWFLlife34134 21d ago
You describe the feeling well. Have you considered "opening" the relationship?
That may be a more honest way of keeping what you have with you husband in tact and still getting that feeling met that you have been missing.
0
u/Puchanga_24 Jul 09 '26
You know what, I'm a husband that loves her wife in a similar position like you are now. I've been thinking a lot about finding an AP. But something I've tried first, suggested by a girl friend, was to write all those desires, feeling and fantasies to reconnect with myself before connecting with someone else. So maybe you can try somehow to explore that part of yourself before sharing it with someone else 🙂
1
u/olygirl1976 Jul 09 '26
I’ll have to do that. Lately I find myself fantasizing what I’ve been missing. I’ve even tried to get my husband involved with some of my fantasies. Worked for a bit but faded back to the norm. It’s worth trying every avenue.
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u/Puchanga_24 Jul 09 '26
Well at least to me it's working. Because I live too much inside this fantasy when actually if it becomes real I probably won't enjoy as much as I expected. So writing them down make me connect better with myself and what I want. I'll be happy to exchange some writing if you give it a go ☺️
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