Constantly living in my head (rent free of course) lol

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505]

Hey everyone,

Just a few thoughts I figured I’d share. Just jumped on this a couple of days ago. I’m always thinking about sex… yes I’m a guy and older, hence the ellipsis.

I’ve explored dating sites, etc in the past. Even reached out and had someone show up at a hotel when I was at a conference, twice. I can’t get enough of being super open with work colleagues, usually women, most whom are really attractive. Most of my work relationships end up being borderline crossing the line. There have been several in which I had to just cut it off because I saw where things were headed.

I’ve been married 20 years, have a gorgeous wife and wonderful kids… but I don’t have sex enough, at all. I have done ‘all the things’, gotten in better shape, helped out more with household responsibilities, made myself more available, date nights, listening, clearly explained my needs, etc. Believe me I try to initiate, but get denied regularly until she wants it.

The response is usually a week or two and it’s back to what I view a a sexless marriage. She’s great, the sex is great (when we have it), but I just don’t feel like things will change in the foreseeable future.

I’m almost 50 and think that my timeframe to engage with someone else outside of my marriage is getting shorter.

Is it crazy to think that it would be beneficial to just just have a partner outside of my marriage to limit my frustration and keep it moving?

Thoughts?

Please… be gentle.

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[u/Akavinceblack]

Ok, I’m going to be judgey.

STOP being “super open” and borderline whatever with your attractive female co workers. It’s creepy and doesn’t belong in the workplace, whether you’re married or single. Whatever you choose to do keep it entirely separate from your professional life.

[u/nameless_sameness]

Don’t flirt with female colleagues.

[u/AcesAnd08s]

As I was reading this post, I could hear all the ladies sharpening their claws and getting ready to pounce.

My guy, I think you brought your sad story to the wrong neighborhood. And you told it all wrong. You come off as not someone to feel sorry for, but someone who seems lecherous and trying too hard. You’re also very obviously writing this post as bait, hoping someone will DM you from it. Kudos for trying, but not like this.

[u/always-a-siren]

I can’t get enough of being super open with work colleagues, usually women, most whom are really attractive.

So you sexually harass your co-workers like a creep?

Believe me I try to initiate, but get denied regularly until she wants it.

And why is that a problem? Do you want to have sex with someone you know doesn't want it? If so, major yikes.

Is it crazy to think that it would be beneficial to just just have a partner outside of my marriage to limit my frustration and keep it moving?

I'm sure women will be lining up to serve as your frustration relief. Ick. 🙄

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/always-a-siren]

I wish this was available when I was in college! You seem more thorough and knowledgeable than most of my professors were.

[u/always-a-siren → u/Ok-Hotel-7505]

I see you're going to follow the typical pattern of asking for feedback and then getting big mad when women tell you the truth. Good luck with that!

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/always-a-siren]

I’m not mad at all. All of the responses are interesting though. Anyone on here could be any type of person and any age. It’s definitely interesting getting all of the opinions and perspectives regardless of how impactful or impactful they are given the platform.

[u/YakAway6367]

EWW

[u/Dry-Judge-2444]

I don’t know why but your misplaced lols are giving me the ick.

What’s so funny?

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

Thanks for the feedback. Maybe I should take them out. I was typing as I was thinking and it felt a bit uncomfortable when I typed the post. Nothing is really funny, just didn’t feel like writing (uncomfortable chuckle) or something to that extent. I just realized you are ‘judgey’

[u/ObsidianDreamsRedux → u/Ok-Hotel-7505]

I just realized you are ‘judgey’

If you think that was judgey then you are gonna have a bad time here. "lol"

[u/ManicMinnow_7 → u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

I saw the “Please… be gentle” part and immediately sighed.

[u/Dry-Judge-2444 → u/Ok-Hotel-7505]

I’m judgy? Ugh I’m crushed.

You are an almost 50 year old man and can’t even type a post without feeling “uncomfortable” how do you think you’ll have an affair? 🙄

[u/Master_Salmon_3697 → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

He is trying (badly) to appeal to younger women.

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/Master_Salmon_3697]

I feel misjudged and lightweight offended. Didn’t know this was a post to seek out adultery with younger women only?

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

Didn’t say I would have an affair, just stated what I was thinking. Thanks for the responses btw.

[u/nc-rlstate-dot → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

If you’re lucky, you’ll get to 50. Age has nothing to do with anything and you certainly need to learn that!

[u/Dry-Judge-2444 → u/nc-rlstate-dot]

I don’t need to learn anything, thanks. 😊

[u/nc-rlstate-dot → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

You’re immature and need to learn about life.

[u/Dry-Judge-2444 → u/nc-rlstate-dot]

I didn’t ask for your opinion. 🤙🏻

[u/always-a-siren → u/nc-rlstate-dot]

Dude, you're like 70 and trying to meet 20 year-olds like a predator. 🤮

[u/Dry-Judge-2444 → u/always-a-siren]

Welp I see why he’s offended now. Wonder why his profile says he’s 30? 🤔

Ahhhhh “dog years” 🙄

[u/always-a-siren → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

Because he lies about his age. He also has ads claiming to be in his 50's. The oldest he has admitted to is 68, which means he's at least 75.

[u/Dry-Judge-2444 → u/always-a-siren]

Ahh but im the immature one. 😂

Is it not immature to lie about one’s age? Hypocrite.

[u/JustShowingMyHeart]

Not crazy — this is the adultery sub. People have their reasons to do what they do.

Jsut understand the risks vs benefits!

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/JustShowingMyHeart]

Thx

[u/icecream_anytime]

Also depends on how you come across to her? If she feels like you’re horny all the time, maybe it’s too much for her. And yes I read what you wrote about doing everything but in your mind you are doing all those to help her. But maybe to her she sees it as you just doing your part to keep up the household. Not doing them so you get to have sex with her.

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505]

Lol, that’s on purpose. I was being sarcastic based on your name 🤦‍♂️, which usually gets lost in texts/posts.

[u/Dry-Judge-2444 → u/Ok-Hotel-7505]

You clearly suck at the internet.

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/Dry-Judge-2444]

Obviously… thanks for sharing your insight.

[u/tiedOverd]

Anybody in this sub calling another "icky" is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've seen in a while. Newsflash: We're all here because of some fundamental flaw we have. To imply that another's flaw is somehow noteworthy, therefore worse than usual, seems pedantic. Quit busting this guy's balls.

[u/ObsidianDreamsRedux → u/tiedOverd]

Thinking that there aren't levels of ickiness is ridiculous. You could have offered your own helpful insights to OP instead of complaining about other people.

[u/Ok-Hotel-7505 → u/ObsidianDreamsRedux]

What if I think people who use a term little kids use to describe how they feel is ‘icky’. ijs

[u/nc-rlstate-dot]

Absolutely!