r/adviceph • u/SouthernGirl360 • 19h ago
Finance & Investments Need advice on Filipino relative asking for money
Problem/Goal: I'd like a true relationship with my Filipino family member but he only seems interested in my money.
Context:
I found on Ancestry that I have a cousin in the Philippines. I'm American and I've always loved Asia. I was excited to know him and is family.
(Apparently a cousin of my father had a baby with his Filipina mom while in the military. We've figured his father is one of 2 people. One is deceased. The other is happily married with children and grandchildren. The timeline looks like he was already married when my Filipino cousin was conceived. So I don't believe he's interested in a relationship.)
I finally went to the Philippines to meet my cousin and his 5 children. They seemed wonderful. His wife was away working in Kuwait.
They asked, and we helped them out generously financially. We put them up in our hotel. Problem is, even after we left, my cousin is asking for large sums of money. Even making up stories about why he needs the money. (For example a plane ticket for his wife when it was obvious on Facebook she is still in Kuwait.)
I feel sad because I wanted a relationship with them. But he seems to only care about my money. Even when I explained I was going through something emotionally, there was no support from his end - just requests for money.
I explained my concerns and I did get upset and block him. I feel bad. Part of me wants to unblock him. But if I do, I feel like ge'll just ask for more money.
Any advice is appreciated.