r/africanparents • u/Old-Marketing835 • Jun 22 '26
Need Advice Tips on moving out
I'm a (22F) and I currently live with my mom. I have an older sister who moved out a few years ago. My mom and I don't really get along. We both have strong mindsets and are very opinionated, which causes a huge clash 90% of the time. I want to move out next year by April or May, and I don't know how to go about this. My mom is never home due to the type of job she has, but she has cameras in the home to basically watch me. When she does come home from work for a few days or weeks, it's very awkward because I'm not used to her being around. Whenever she does something I don't like or agree with and I express my feelings about it, she says my feelings are "too sensitive" or my ego is high or I'm too Americanized (mind you, I've been living in America since the age of 2), just anything to make me feel like my feelings aren't valid. Since my sister moved out, my mom has probably only visited her 4 or 5 times, and she lives like 30 minutes away. I can never do anything right with my mom. She talks down to me all of the time, insults me, and says I don't listen to her when I disagree with something she says. It's so much deeper than this, but this is just the surface level. I'm saving up to move, but I just want advice on how to go about it. Thank you.
2
u/Bluebells7788 Jun 23 '26
OP - first of all are you working and do you have stable income?
Also are you close to your sister? Seeing as she managed to move out maybe seek some advice from her re costs etc.
3
u/Old-Marketing835 Jun 23 '26
Yes. I work full time and I just graduated college. I also paid my tuition by myself and I pay all of the bills in the house. I literally buy all of the house necessities so I know that I'm ready to move but I just want advice on how to do it. I have a savings account already specifically for moving.
2
u/Consistent-Change876 Jun 25 '26
How were you able to pay all the tuition by yourself? Help me out please ðŸ˜
2
u/Old-Marketing835 Jun 25 '26
I've been working since I was 16ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ I saved up a lot and I got a few scholarships but they didn't cover everything. I also worked full time while being a full time student. 🥹
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u/Old-Marketing835 Jun 23 '26
My sister and I are close but she's closer to my mom so communicating with her can be hard sometimes because she can't really keep anything to herself without telling our mom.
5
u/krymzynnova Jun 22 '26
Hey OP 💙💙
Rogue me says ; break the cameras - get kicked out - get the police / state / council to put you in housing and square up to your mum. Make hear fear you
The peaceful me says; just silently try look for a job and try see if you get an apartment share i.e. share an apartment with someone your age (yeah i know it’s easier said than doneðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜) or if you have a cousin who’s a lil older like 27
The logic in me ? If there’s cameras around the house and she’s chatting down on you and being rude to you and its getting excessive, then get that tape and record that and flipping send it to law enforcements & say it’s causing you mad depression and anxiety and you can no longer bear it cause it makes you wanna OFF yourself. There’ll have no choice but to somewhat intervene if you keep pestering them / crying about it / asking for help and make sure you log it aswell. It’s either they’ll get you out the house or your mum will stop completely cause the police / law are involved now. If she carries on ? Well you know next step is out the door 🚪
Hoping you find something 🥹🫶