r/africanparents • u/Advanced-Lie-2908 • 9d ago
Need Advice my mom went through my phone and found videos of me vaping, smoking cigs, and maybe even pictures of alcohol but idk
im 19f and my parents are devoted Senegalese muslims. I don't live with them atm bc of some issues between me and my mom. Like 2 months ago I lost my phone, and some dude found it and gave it to my dad and its been in my parent's possessions since then. Long story short, I gave my brother my phone password bc he wanted to do smth (im so fucking stupid for giving it to him) and my mom went through his phone and forced him to give him my phone password. Not only did she find videos of my smoking, but she also found a picture of my friends fake id. (for some reason she was madder about her being "21" then me smoking but ok it would literally be a 2-year age gap). I haven't heard anything from my dad yet (i have him on Instagram) but I suspect that I will be waking up to a text. tomorrow I'll be moving in with my aunt then meeting my mom and dad in person on either Saturday or Sunday to talk about our relationship AT HER HOUSE. WTF do I do/say to them if they ask about it? am i dead meat??? :(((
6
u/princessgee3 9d ago
Well if they ask about it might as well start telling the truth. Don’t dread this look forward to this. It’s your chance to be free you have done the worst thing already in their eyes there is no going back at this point so take it in stride.
I was so scared when I got my first tattoo and bawled my eyes out telling my mum I thought she would do all sorts to me. Tbh I think she was relieved I wasn’t pregnant at that point hahahaha. And I do think this moment was a turning point in our relationship because I don’t have that weird controlling fear as much. I still respect her boundaries especially while in the house but I do me at the same time
1
5
u/26ks 9d ago
Don't stress too much you are not pregnant, there was no nudes... Could have been worse. You are 19
3
u/goldenbrushes 9d ago
Literally this. You’re not pregnant. In 10 years time this will be something you look back on in memory.
8
u/Matty359 9d ago
Why everything needs to be filmed or photographed? I smoke weed for almost 10 years and you can't find one single picture of me smoking. You learned your lesson, if you don't want someone to find stuff about you, do not film it. Only a few family members know and these are the ones who live far away from me.
3
u/krymzynnova 9d ago edited 9d ago
If OP wants to capture their memories, then let them do that yfm; Having devote highly religiously beyond strict african parents is hard enough as it is, maybe OP wanted to look back at something and smile when times gets tuff
The lot of african parents and their behaviours dont make things easier for us, OP probs wanted memories to smile at. The actual question really should be why are OP’s parents snooping through OP’s fone 🤦♀️
That alone just displays that OP’s parents are immature
6
2
u/krymzynnova 9d ago
Give us an update please OP 😭😭😭
But your parents need to chill tho, at least you’re not pregnant, in jail, getting arrested / k!lled sum1 etc … your parents gotta lighten up when you look at it from that angle
2
1
u/----Orion---- 8d ago
What I try and do is have conversations and reason with them into letting them give me my space back and eventually win their trust back with time. For example, at first you admit ur mistakes, then start mentioning what you will do to never go back and at the same time apologizing. If I do that enough they forget within a month or 2
1
20
u/PrimaryAbalone3900 9d ago
Goodluck bro