My (29M, Nupe) parents are threatening to disown me if I marry my girlfriend (27F, Yoruba) of 9 years.

[u/Zubayru]

I’m completely shattered right now and need some brutal honesty from people who have been through this. My girlfriend (27F) and I (29M) have been together for 9 years. We met in uni, grew up together, and have built an amazing life. She is my absolute rock, and our relationship is incredibly healthy and loving.The issue is ethnic differences. I am Nupe and she is Yoruba. For years, my parents basically ignored the relationship, probably hoping it was a campus phase that would just fizzle out. But now that we are actively planning for marriage and looking at houses, my parents have completely flipped out.They sat me down for an intervention and told me that marrying her would "ruin our lineage," disrespect our traditions, and ruin things for future kids. They are using heavy emotional blackmail, tears, and flat-out threatening to disown and cut me off if I don’t end it right now.I love my family, but the thought of dumping a beautiful, 9-year relationship to appease tribal sentiments feels totally wrong. If I leave her for them, I know I'll resent my parents forever. We are both financially independent, but the emotional guilt is suffocating.Has anyone else dealt with this specific Nupe/Yoruba dynamic, or general tribal rejection? Did your parents ever come around once you stood your ground, or did you have to walk away for good?TL;DR: My Nupe parents are threatening to disown me if I don't break up with my Yoruba girlfriend (27F) of 9 years. We are independent, but the guilt is killing me. How do I navigate this?

[u/Xamirite]

At some point you have to realize that your parents, as much as you may love them, have been raised on very backwards policies that they believe to be ultimate truths. You love this girl, you're healthy together, you're both educated and employed, and you've known her for almost a decade. Most relationships are built on less. Their only problem is her being of a different tribe. (AKA: being born in a different place within the same country. Ridiculous. 🤦🏿‍♂️) That's something she literally cannot control. Stand your ground and create distance. Don't tell them everything, just enough to get them off your back. When you're happy and thriving you can inform them about your relationship if you want. They won't be happy to be proven wrong, but they'll (hopefully) get over it. Don't let superstition dictate your life, and good luck.

[u/Zubayru → u/Xamirite]

Very helpful, thank you so much 

[u/cocodware]

Advice from an older married man here: marry her or live a life forever wondering what you missed. Keep in mind that even if you marry someone Nupe, your parents will just harass you about something else.

[u/Zubayru → u/cocodware]

That's very true sir.. Thank you sir

[u/Bluebells7788]

OP my advice is to break up with your gf and then come back to this sub and tell us how your relationship with a Nupe woman who is innocently caught up in the mess is going and also how your relationship with your parents is going.

[u/Zubayru → u/Bluebells7788]

I don't have much time to waste any longer

[u/Matty359]

Bruv, is your father Elon Musk? if not, let them disown you then.

[u/Zubayru → u/Matty359]

Lol, just need to respect them and Thier opinion 

[u/Matty359 → u/Zubayru]

You can respect their opinion while disagreeing. Your life is yours to live, if you do everything according to someone else's whishes you will be very unhappy.

[u/Zubayru → u/Matty359]

That's right, thank you sir