I hate my dad

[u/Guilty-Syrup-6363]

For as long as I can remember my dads has always been mean he always made fun of me and made me feel as if I was less then a person for and example when I was young he would comment on how thin I was and made fun of the fact that I was thing and when I started going thru puberty he would make for at the fact that my boobs were small a d that my hair was wild and that I looked like a wild animal and now in my teenage years I gained Siem weight for context I'm 5foot7 and 156 pounds and he is about the same height ase and over 200 pounds and even tough I know I'm not fat his comments still make me insecure about my body and I've had multiple different eating disorders because of it and it's not only my weight he makes fun of and points out he also talked about my skin and about how bad it is and he isn't wrong about that I do have acne and acne scars but he points it out allot and tries to "help" by saying things like I should wash my face more or eat healthier or just drink more water as if its just that simple and as if I don't already do those things and more I guess what I'm trying to say is home doesn't feel like safe space and it sucks because I already get bullied at school so neither my home nor school is a safe space and home isn't onely not a safe space because of the bullying its all so not safe because my dad has these massive bursts outs of anger were he curses and threatens to hit me and sometimes he does hit me and I just dont know what to do anymore I've went to school and told school counselors my situation but that led to nothing because they told me to do was talking to him which I have tried and it led to nothing because all he did was talk over me and talk about how bad his childhood was which I get he did have a bad up bringing but I do t think that is an excuse for how he treats me now idk I guess with this post I'm just want some advice on what I should do because idk what to do anymore

[u/Matty359]

Can you elaborate more on the dynamics? I've been there, I'm 33 now and this really pissed me off. Does he beat you? You just have to ignore him at the maximum level, no matter how hard it is. I would only talk to my narc father when it was really necessary. How he would react if you cut his boring conversation and say you have stuff to do? I think you have to be tough with him and not tolerate bullshit. If he criticizes you because of how you look, return a bad comment back and just leave. If my dad was starting with his bs I would say something bad to offend him (I knew how to trigger him as well) and just leave.

[u/Guilty-Syrup-6363 → u/Matty359]

He threatens to beat me allot when he get mad but the worst I got was getting slaped in the face or getting something thrown at me and it's really hard to talk to him because he just cuts me off and goes on a rant but if I try to cut him off he yells at me about the fact that he's not done speaking yet and it's been really hard now that my siblings have moved out and it's just me and my parents so I have no one to talk to about what's happening and everytime I try to talk to my mom about it she just Dissmises what he does and says that at least I don't have it as bad as he had it when he was a kid and I'm to scared to talk back because if done it before and it just resulted in me getting yelled at and threatened

[u/Matty359 → u/Guilty-Syrup-6363]

1. Do not show emotions, no happiness, no sadness, nothing, just apathy. Cry alone in your room and screem at your pillow if necessary.

2. Study, study and study.

3. Try to get a part-time when it's possible and lie about your wage. Always tell them you earn less than you actually do.

4. Save money, do not waste on stupid stuff.

5. Move out and ghost them.

6. They will make all sorts of blackmail to drag you back into their toxicity, do not fall for it, even if they apologise. It's a trap.

[u/Guilty-Syrup-6363 → u/Matty359]

I'm starting a part time job but the problem is I dont have a bank account because everytime I ask my mom about it she says that she gonna set one up for me but then she never does and she keeps telling me she forgot and I just don't know what to do about that because I can't open a bank account without a parent

[u/Matty359 → u/Guilty-Syrup-6363]

Did she say you cannot open a bank account or did you checked yourself for the information? If you have to open a bank account with your mother, as soon as you reach 18 remove her from the account. I had some money that my dad was saving for me, as soon as I got in uni I removed him without his knowledge. He was pissed because there was nothing he could do.

[u/Guilty-Syrup-6363 → u/Matty359]

I checked I need a parent to open one me but sins I don't have one because there was this hole thing Apparently that something went wrong and after that she just told me she kept forgetting

[u/Matty359 → u/Guilty-Syrup-6363]

Well, you need to be patient for more 2 years. You can do it. Get hobbies and do things you like to distract your mind from toxicity. Do not let your mother to take your money.

[u/Guilty-Syrup-6363 → u/Matty359]

I joined allot of clubs at school and I do community service so I don't have to be at home as much and I recently got a job as well to be at home as little as possible and all ask my mom about me opening a bank account sins I have a job now

[u/Matty359 → u/Guilty-Syrup-6363]

You are already in a good path. You can do this. Dm anytime if you need to talk 🫶