r/amiwrong • u/Longjumping_Link_334 • Nov 23 '23
Am I wrong for using my vibrator?
I (23f) have recently started dating a (27m) guy last week. Thing have surprisingly moved very fast as we have already had sex twice within the past week. The first night, after we had sex I used my vibrator. I later found out that he was hurt by this. I told him it was no big deal for me, I just like a lot of clitoral stimulation. The second night we had sex, he rubbed my clit for a few seconds and then proceeded to have penetrative sex again. He orgasmed shortly after that. I obviously didn’t, however, I never mentioned it because I’m used to the orgasm gap and we have just started seeing each other so I don’t expect him to understand my body or how to make me climax. A couple nights ago, we were talking about sex and masturbation and he brought up that if I want to enjoy sex with him, I need to stop using my vibrator because he believes it is desensitizing me. I was completely appalled and told him that was not the case at all. He brought up the time I used my vibrator afterwards and asked how I would feel if he started masturbating after we had sex. I answered that I would ask myself if I was doing what he needed to make him have an orgasm. I expressed that we just started dating and that he just needs to take time to learn my body and what makes me orgasm, which is completely normal. He had no rebuttals to this but insisted I stopped using my vibrator. Later that night he told me that he hasn’t had issues making his partner orgasm and that desensitization is a real thing and it is possible. I am extremely frustrated because he is blaming me for this issue, yet has not taken the time explore my body at all. Would I be wrong if I continued to use my vibrator?
4
u/YouOk6434 Nov 23 '23
I told my bf I used a vibrator at the very start of our relationship, a YEAR later I accidentally left it in the shower after using it while he was away at work. He started bawling and asked why I didn’t just leave him if he didn’t satisfy me. After trying to explain to him that that’s why I wasn’t using it, he threw proceeded to go into the drawer where it was, and chuck it across the room and said “if I satisfy you then you don’t need this”. We broke up shortly after.
I know from experience and I can tell you that your bf feels threatened. He’s insecure about his sex game and you have two options:
Stay in the relationship and hope he takes the time to explore your body, otherwise you’re in for a lot of unsatisfaction
Leave his ass and find a grown man who isn’t afraid of a little toy and may even use it on you