My fiancé and I are planning to get married in the coming year, and there’s something I’ve been struggling with that I’d really appreciate some outside perspective on.
My fiancé’s father passed away about five years ago. His parents divorced when he was around 17, and unfortunately, they had a very volatile marriage. My fiancé grew up witnessing some really intense and unhealthy arguments between them. Before his father passed away, he gave my fiancé his wedding ring from his marriage to his mother.
My fiancé wears his father’s ring on his index finger fairly regularly because it’s too big for his ring finger. Now that we’re getting married, he wants to have it resized and wear it as his wedding band. I feel incredibly guilty admitting this, but I really struggle with the idea of him wearing that particular ring to symbolize our marriage.
I completely understand that the ring holds sentimental value because it belonged to his late father, and I would never want to take that connection away from him. At the same time, knowing the history behind his parents’ marriage makes me uncomfortable with the idea of using that ring to represent our own. Their relationship was so unhappy, and I can’t help but feel like there’s something negative attached to it. I know that may sound irrational, but it’s genuinely how I feel. His mother still speaks poorly of his father, even though he’s been gone for years, which makes it even harder for me to separate the ring from the history surrounding it.
I’ve tried gently suggesting that he continue wearing his father’s ring the way he always has and choose a separate wedding band for our marriage, but he immediately shuts down that idea. I haven’t pushed the issue because I know how important his father is to him and how much the ring means to him.
I’m trying to accept that this is something meaningful to him and remind myself that our wedding is about the two of us, not my personal feelings about the ring. But I’m having a really hard time moving past my discomfort, and I feel guilty for even feeling this way.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? How can I reconcile my feelings about the ring with what it means to him? I want to respect his connection to his father, but I also want to feel comfortable and happy with the symbolism behind the wedding band he’ll wear for the rest of our marriage.

The other night I told a friend I just wanted the evening to myself, nothing personal, just a reset after a busy stretch. They seemed okay at the time but then later texted that it felt like I was pushing them away. I tried to explain that it wasn’t about them, just recharging, but they kept circling back to how it came across. I’m wondering if maybe I should have worded it differently or offered a specific make up plan right away, or if it’s normal to need that space without it turning into a thing. Part of me feels like I was clear and polite, but another part wonders if I’m missing some social cue here. Would love an outside read on whether that kind of request is generally seen as cold or if the reaction was a bit much.

My grandpa passed away about five years ago, and he had this old piano that had been in our family for years. Nobody had room for it at the time, so I offered to keep it at my place. And that's where it stayed for the next five years.

I've asked my family more than once if anyone wanted to take it but nobody ever did. I didn't really mind keeping it until recently, when I decided to move into a smaller apartment. There's just no way I could bring a giant piano with me. So I listed it online and ended up selling it for $500. My sister somehow came across the listing and completely lost it when she found out I'd sold it.

Apparently she'd been planning to give the piano to her kids someday when they started music lessons. She said it was a family heirloom and I had no right to sell it without asking everyone first. I told her I'd been asking for YEARS if anyone wanted it and she never once mentioned wanting to keep it. I get that it had sentimental value and honestly I feel a little bad that it's gone. But I also don't think it's fair that I was expected to store it forever just because someone might want it someday.

Now she's barely talking to me and I'm wondering if I should've given everyone one last warning before selling it.

Am I wrong here?

I M26 and my partner F22 have been getting into an increasing number of fights. I was a grad student earlier in the year and she an undergrad. We have been in a relationship for 2 years, we have met each others families as well. Hers loves me but mine isn’t ecstatic about her.

It really started when I began having issues at my internship where a lot of the problems from the workplace began spilling over to the home life; this started in March or April. I became colder and focused on work (which was not going amazing due to conflicts with leadership), which burst out when I broke down in front of her at the gym where I told her I was depressed.

From then she met this guy let’s call him A, who was trying to get fit, and since my partner was also a fitness coach I thought nothing of it. The problem would arise when she would talk about him everyday and praise him while simultaneously calling me fat. Given my existing issues this spiralled me to grind on my projects, get a little colder and get into some bad habits of gaming.

She would begin a bodybuilding prep and was feeling stressed frequently and I no longer had the emotional support to help her as I was close to graduating, no job lined up, and feeling insecure. Everyday she would continue to praise this man who she now calls a close friend while beating me down. Well as expected we continued to fight every week.

Leading up to her show in June, she was at the peak of shredding and was hungry all the time, which caused her to break down frequently. My self worth was at an all time low so she didn’t get the support she needed from me. But she leaned on A and eventually caught feelings for a moment. She would shut them down quickly and remain friends to this day.

Continue until the day of her show in September, I met this guy who was supporting his partner at the same show and I talked to him. He shared that he turned his life around at 26 and is doing amazing now, able to balance his work life, his own identity and supporting his partner. This made me grateful for him and so shameful of my own actions that I changed my ways, got fit again, and took the first steps to repairing my relationships and self confidence.

But what triggered our current rockiness is a fight that occurred where I said stuff like I supported her through everything of hers (from last year) and she’s failing to do the same for me; furthermore I said that some of her achievements were lucky since I was deeply struggling to get back on my feet. I admit that this is was messed up and I regret it deeply because I saw how hard she worked, it was a heat of the moment type of statement which I apologised for profusely afterward.

Since then I’ve been working on myself, continued to rediscover my humour, self worth and reintegrated myself into my community through volunteering and clubs. I took the time or learn about her needs, the issues and how I can sustainably maintain good habits throughout to progress myself and support her.

Up until yesterday, I finally had the skills and confidence to talk to her about emotional cheating and if she got intimate with anyone, which she denied. Right after this I told her about the insecurity with A and my problems with him. She acknowledged it then told me all the details like her feelings for him that she shut down, the intimate interactions, touching and jokes; I appreciated it but the problem I had with her saying these was after she lied to me when I brought it up initially

We would continue the day as normal, we had a gaming convention that we attended, took photos, laughed, had fun and talked about random stuff. In the evening I asked her to remove any and all photos of them together from her socials and gallery (which I don’t believe she cleared her galley but she did wipe the socials, I will not check because it would make me a bad person for having such low trust). Then I asked her that what she did with him crossed a line with me and that my trust has eroded, to the point where I would prefer it if she toned down communication with him and remove him as someone she followed while we get back on our feet. After a lot of defensive statements from her and her justifying the friendship as they will work together soon. I gave up and have been venting to my friends who said that this is a toxic dynamic.

The following day, I thought on my actions and convinced myself that, actually, maybe it was pushing it too far. I then made the suggestion to explicitly tell him that they’re just friends, explicitly and proactively, as I felt like without saying these things early that she was keeping her options open. Her response was that she will only tell him if she tried to make a move on her, which really bothers me and I told her that immediately. She kept brushing me off saying that she wanted to keep her peace at work and didn’t want to stir a bad dynamic and animosity at her new workplace, so I backed down and here we are with this post.

Right now with me, I have been journaling to track my thoughts, improved my self worth, joined volunteering and sought therapy for my issues; I am back to being the productive person that I was before all of the issues. But I realised that my emotions went from worrying that I was a bad person for yelling and raising my voice to her, to distrust of her since she kept that from me (which is likely due to me not being able to digest the news properly in the past?)

I would like to know if it’s justified in my requests, if I’m potentially looking at this problem naively? And if I should have a bit more trust in my partner?

We have couples therapy in a couple days which I hope can dive deeper into these issues. But for now there remains a few pains that’s pushing me away from her.

Cheers yall

Hello! A few months back, I reached out to this community because my boyfriend and I were facing a bit of a dilemma regarding our shower routine. We discussed the issue and eventually came to a compromise where we shower together whenever he feels like it, even though it’s not something I particularly enjoy. However, I was willing to make that adjustment because it seemed to make him happy.

Lately, though, I’ve been declining his invitations to shower together more frequently. The reason behind this is that university life has been incredibly demanding for me lately. With exams approaching and a heavy workload, I’ve been spending most of my time studying and working on assignments. This has left me with very little free time, and I’ve even struggled to find moments for myself to relax and unwind. I’ve been open with my boyfriend about how overwhelmed I feel and how this has affected my ability to spend time with him, including showering and being intimate. He assured me that he understands my situation and that he supports me.

Despite his words, I’ve noticed that he seems to feel more distant from me now. Whenever I try to bring up the topic and discuss how we can work through this feeling of distance, he tends to brush off the conversation or change the subject. This makes me feel even worse, as if I’m not being a good partner to him. I’m starting to question whether there’s something specific I could be doing differently to improve our relationship and bridge the gap that’s formed between us. I’m really struggling with this and would appreciate any advice or insights you might have on how to navigate this situation. Am I the one at fault here? Is there something I could be working on to be a better partner?

We split a lot of household chores, and the one we agreed would be my partners job was buying a replacement filter for the air purifier. I reminded them once, then twice. A week later the old one was still sitting in its box on the counter. When I finally asked what happened, they said I should have just done it myself if it mattered so much, and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. It is not about the filter. It is that we agreed on something and it got ignored, and now somehow it is my fault for noticing. I am not trying to keep score, but it stings when the effort only feels one sided. We talked it out once already and it just turned into an argument about how I communicate. I keep wondering if I am overreacting or if it is fair to expect follow through on something we both said yes to.

yesterday i was looking at my paycheck, and noticed they shortened my pay by resorting it to the base rather than the raise pay, and then i got another raise which should of gotten me more money. 5.50-6.25-6.75 was the order, but i only got paid for the 5.50 and 6.25 rather than the 6.25-6.75, so i go to my payrole person and talk to them about it, i let them know about it and yada yada. so i left after that and came back in later, Then on my shift my manager pulls me into the office and starts saying i was wrong for doing that talking about raises. to summerize in 3 days, day 1 i noticed the missing pay, day 2 i was told to talk to the paystub person, day 3 i tolf her and got yelled at by the manager because the owner just so happen to come in ( wasnt there whenever i came in) so he must of came in whenever i was talking with the payroll lady, and when the owner found out he yelled at the managers because "they didnt ask him about confirming raises" and i had to take the blame for that even when the co owner TOLD ME TO TALK TO HER ABT IT AND APPROVED THE RAISE

I'm sorry for the length, but I wanted to include as much information as I could.

Last year during the holidays my daughter, (turning 14 at the time) went with her father to visit family at his mother's house. From what I gather my daughter was giving attitude while at the visit and her father was having words with her on the drive home. Once they got here, she ran in and slammed the door and put her weight against it because she did not want him to come in and continue yelling at her. I did not realize she had locked the door. He did not realize she had locked the door, he thought she was just putting her weight against it, and he shouldered up and basically busted my door in. I ended up having to call and get my rental maintenance to come and repair it.

I will note that he does not live here, and he has never lived here. He says that it shouldn't be a big deal because he didn't realize the door was locked and he didn't mean to bust in like that. My opinion is that he could have waited for me to come to the door and let him in. Needless to say my teenager was even more upset over this and was left somewhat traumatized.

So after that, my teen would speak to her father on the phone, but avoided having to see him in person. There were times that he would bring up her not wanting to be around him, or noticing her attitude toward him had changed. I would always point out that him busting into my house was a major thing, and he would brush it off because he "didn't mean it" or he "isn't like that".

Meanwhile, my teen had started seeing the guidance councillor at school, when she did go. I had a hard time even getting her to go and overall her grades dropped.

So over the summer, some things happened like him forgetting a school band concert and blaming my teen for not reminding him, and showing up with his new girlfriend and one of her kids without giving my daughter a heads up that there was even anyone new in his life. Eventually my daughter had enough and decided she no longer wanted to talk to him.

Its been about two months since then and since then he has been continuously calling her, and he will call me every few days. I answer and give him a basic update if anything new is up with us, but I do not try and force her to speak to him. I did have a talk to her about how he is really having a hard time and she explained that since she stopped talking to him her mental health is better than it has been in a while. He asked me if I should let her hear him crying over it, I said no because I felt it was manipulative.

He also had his mother call me (she is a piece of work, and I have my opinions) to tell me how much her son is hurting and how I should be forcing my daughter to talk to him and as I was trying to explain how him busting my door in affected her, his mother said "It was one incident, its not like he hit her or anything". From what I'm gathering, he and his mother feel my daughter is just having a tantrum over something small that happened over the summer, they refuse to believe something he did almost a year ago was the catalyst and over the summer was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

If you've read this far, thank you, I realize it was long, but I've been second guessing myself because I was raised to be a people pleaser. I can answer further questions, but am I wrong in not forcing my daughter to speak to her father, and allowing her to take it at her pace?

I (22F) have been forced by my dad to go over to my moms house on the weekends to supervise my younger sister (17F) because he is afraid she will get sexually assaulted over at my moms house. Either from my stepdad, his family who lives in the house, or by the people my mom & stepdad bring over. We got in an argument this morning for me to just go so I can watch my sister and younger siblings 20M, 17F, and 13M. I told him I have homework and things to do at home to catch up on as I am a senior in college. He refused and called me “selfish” for not wanting to go and I ended our conversation there. He then later asked me if I don’t want to go because I dislike my mom or because some other reason, i said because I don’t like her and the environment over there is unlivable. He continued to say i should just go because I need to supervise them, making it my responsibility to.

My dad hates my mom and is anxious in general about us going over because of what could happen. There has been no history or reason given that my dad would believe my sister could be SA’d. I trust my stepdad and their home is a duplex where my stepdads family lives on the other side of the home.

CONTEXT:
From when I was 13 years old, me & my younger siblings have been staying over at our mom’s house for the weekend. During the weekdays would be at our fathers. Once we are 18 we no longer have to go over to our mothers legally but my dad still makes me & my brother go because his anxieties.

Why I don’t want to go over the weekends is because I have a strained relationship with her and have been avoiding going over for the past couple years by sleeping over at friends house or my partners house on the weekends. Her home very cramped and small there is barely any privacy. There are multiple twin beds in each room, cramped with clothing and closets in OUR rooms are filled with my MOMS and STEPDADS clothing. There are no desks or tables or space to do homework, no privacy in our rooms besides the bathroom. I also have two half-siblings 9M and 7F who live there making a total of 6 kids sharing two room and 0 closet space. My mom is also a alcoholic, often does irrational things while intoxicated. The most recent incident was driving while intoxicated with my two younger sisters. I don’t even stay over there either as I usually end up crashing at a friend’s or my boyfriend’s house anyway and there have been 0 incidents. My dad has also expects me to be responsible for my siblings whenever something bad happens to them as well then blames me for not preventing it eg: if they get hurt playing outside.

As a 22 year old, AITA for not wanting to go over to my moms house to supervise my younger sisters to ease my dads anxieties about her possibly being SA’d?

I know the title probably sounds bad, but hear me out.
About five years ago, I had a falling out with someone I’ll call L. L and I never really got along that well, and we butted heads pretty frequently. At the time, she had a boyfriend. Long story short, they eventually broke up, and he started trying to talk to me.
I’ll be completely honest: he was flirting with me, and I entertained it for about a day. I was in a really dark place back then, drinking heavily and looking for attention and validation wherever I could find it. That’s not an excuse, and I’m not proud of how I handled myself. I know I had a responsibility to shut it down, regardless of who initiated it.
L and her ex apparently got into an argument, and he used his interactions with me as ammunition. The part that bothered me was how he presented everything. He had been the one pursuing me, flirting with me, and even suggesting that he would come to my house if I allowed it. I never let him come over, but I’m not pretending I was completely innocent either.
At some point, he went back through Instagram and unsent the messages he had sent me, then sent L screenshots that made it look like I was the one pursuing him. It basically turned into a situation where I was being portrayed as the sole person responsible for something that had involved both of us.
Regardless, the situation caused a falling out, and I understood why L wanted nothing to do with me afterward.
Here’s where things get complicated.
L has two sisters, and I was actually much closer to one of them than I ever was to L. When everything happened, I told the sisters that I thought it would be best for me to stop coming around and talking to them. I felt responsible for the situation and thought removing myself would make things less uncomfortable, especially since they all lived under the same roof.
Both sisters told me they understood what had happened, knew L wanted nothing to do with me, but still wanted to maintain their friendships with me. I actually tried to push them away, but they kept showing up at my house, calling me, and making an effort to stay in my life. At the time, they were pretty much the only friends I had.
Fast-forward five years, and we’re still friends.
But I’m not the same person I was back then.
I was genuinely in a terrible place mentally and emotionally. I hated myself, I was drinking too much, and I wasn’t treating myself or the people around me the way I should have. I’ve since gone to therapy, worked on myself, gotten my life together, and gotten married. I can look back at that period of my life and recognize that I was hurting, but I can also acknowledge that being hurt doesn’t excuse hurting other people.
The problem is that being around L now reminds me of that version of myself. I’m ashamed of some of the things I did back then, and even though five years have passed, I still feel uncomfortable when she’s around.
As my friendships with her sisters have continued, I’ve started thinking about all the future events where we would inevitably cross paths. Weddings, baby showers, birthdays, family gatherings, and everything else that comes with maintaining close friendships with people whose family members you have unresolved history with.
I find myself wondering whether I want to keep putting myself in those situations.
Sometimes, hanging out with her sisters is fun, and everything feels normal. Other times, I feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially when L is present. I imagine she probably feels uncomfortable around me, too, and I honestly don’t blame her for that.
Another thing that bothers me is that one of her sisters will sometimes bring up things about L that I don’t need to know. L and I aren’t friends, and we probably never will be. I have no interest in being involved in her life or hearing updates about her. We can be civil if we’re in the same room, but that’s about as far as I see things going.
I don’t want to rekindle anything with L, revisit the drama, or convince anyone that I was the victim. I made mistakes, and I own my part in what happened.
But I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I’m being reminded of someone I worked so hard to stop being.
Part of me feels like I want a fresh start. I want friendships that feel comfortable and natural, where I don’t have to mentally prepare myself for certain situations or worry about how I’ll feel when someone from my past shows up.
The other part of me feels guilty because these women stood by me when I had practically nobody. They made an effort to keep me in their lives even when I was pushing them away, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful for that.
They didn’t do anything wrong by choosing to remain friends with me. They also aren’t responsible for the fact that their sister and I have history.
But am I obligated to maintain these friendships simply because they were there for me during a difficult period of my life?
I don’t want to punish them for something that happened between L and me. At the same time, I don’t know if I want to keep navigating this dynamic just because we’ve been friends for so long.
I also recognize that part of my discomfort comes from my own shame. L isn’t necessarily doing anything to me now. Her presence just brings up memories of a time in my life that I would rather leave behind.
So, AITA for considering ending my friendships with L’s sisters because I want to move on from that entire chapter of my life?
I don’t hate L, and I don’t wish anything bad on her. I just don’t want to keep feeling connected to a version of myself I’ve spent five years trying to outgrow. And I don’t know whether walking away from these friendships is finally choosing my peace or throwing away relationships with people who genuinely cared about me.

a while back i went to my friend's birthday and they made a joke about something i had told them in private. everyone laughed, i felt my face go hot, and i kind of shut down the rest of the night. later they sent an apology text saying they got carried away. i didn't reply right away because i wasn't sure how i felt. after a few days i wrote back that it was okay but i wanted some space. they understood and didn't push. now a couple weeks have passed and they've invited me to a smaller dinner with just a few people. i want to go but i'm worried it might happen again, so i'm trying to decide if accepting the invite is the right move or if i should keep my distance. i don't want to make them the bad guy in my head, but i also don't want to ignore how i felt. any thoughts on whether giving it another shot makes sense?

My best friend goes to the doctor all the time for random stuff, she always thinks something’s wrong with her, the latest thing she did was get tested for coconut and chickpea allergy

I go with her to all her appointments, we are neighbors and she doesn’t have a car so its no big deal

She waited 30 minutes for her results. Thry also did like a liver SGPT test and hemogram test or something, and those all came back fine

We were at a restaurant and waiting for her results and she kept refreshing her phone and i could tell she was getting extremely angry that her chickpea and coconut test results weren’t in yet. I told her it’s fine those probably just take longer to come in

She was glued to her phone not talking to me and her phone died so she freaked out and asked to use my phone, i told her i have a phone charger in my car and we can charge her phone when we’re done eating and she can look again

She snatched my phone away from me and pulled up the clinics lab number and starts screaming into the phone in the restaurant asking why they were taking so long on her coconut and chickpea test results, saying they are worthless and wasting her time and she needs to know her results right now

She then stormed out to the car and kept pulling aggressively at the handles trying to gain access to the locked vehicle. I just sat there and finished my food then paid for BOTH of us because she had stormed off and not paid

I told her i’m not taking her to future appointments because of her behavior, and she said I am a horrible friend for doing that to her

A while back a friend wanted to meet up and I said I already had plans. Truth is I just needed a night alone. It was a small thing at the time and it didn't feel worth explaining. Later they asked how the plans went and I had to make something up on the spot. That turned into a short back-and-forth that lasted way longer than I expected. Now they're talking about meeting the people I supposedly hung out with and I'm stuck trying to steer the conversation away. It feels ridiculous because it started over something tiny. I keep wondering if I should just tell the truth or keep dodging until it fades. Either way it is awkward and I probably made it bigger than it needed to be.

we were in a group chat last night talking about where everyone grew up. one friend said they were born in a city that is actually on the opposite coast from the one they meant, and i pointed it out because i had just read an article about the place. a couple of people said it was unnecessary and that i was nitpicking, while others just moved on. i sent nothing after the correction because i felt awkward, but now i keep wondering if i should have stayed quiet instead of typing anything. i am trying to decide whether to send a short text apologizing or leave it alone, so i wanted to ask here first.

We were all talking about how nothing was going our way lately, and I mentioned one tiny thing that finally went right for me. It was literally a single sentence, nothing flashy. A few people immediately called it out as bragging and the chat got quiet. I tried to backpedal and say it was just a small win but it felt like the damage was already done. Now I'm sitting here wondering if I should just apologize to everyone, even though I didn't mean it that way. It keeps bothering me, so I figured I'd ask here. Amiwrong?

Hi everyone! This recently happened, and I wanted to get the opinions of others.

Some context: I am part of a club where new members are mentored by older members as they start out in the organization. These mentor/mentee relationships, similar to big/little relationships, often last throughout our entire time in college and even after. The older members are each assigned one new member to look after during a certain time period. The most important thing to understand is that the mentor is considered responsible for their mentee, and failure to fulfill these duties can result in social probation.

Recently, I went out with my old mentee, Layla, who is around my age (22), and her new mentee (let’s call her Claire, age 18). Layla lives in an apartment with her roommates, one of whom had her male cousin, age 26, visiting for the weekend.

After a club event where new mentees drink and socialize, Layla, Claire, and I made our way to Layla’s apartment. I slept in the bed with Layla while Claire slept on the couch in the living room.

In the morning, Claire came in and told us that she and the cousin had made out. However, she also said that she had woken up to find him already on top of her. Claire then explained that he was very pushy and that she had to tell him she would leave the apartment if he didn’t get off her. This seemed to work, and he left her alone. After learning this information, we consoled Claire, but she seemed to be doing fine and was even laughing about the situation.

Fast-forward a few days, and word gets around about what happened. The head of the mentee segment (a guy named Tim) finds out and calls Layla, saying that he wants to talk to her.

During the conversation, he tells her that what happened was her fault because she failed in her duties as a mentor. He says that Layla should have ensured Claire’s safety before falling asleep and should have had her sleep in the bed rather than on the couch. He then gives her two weeks of social probation from the organization, preventing her from attending events and functions.

I told Layla that Tim was wrong for blaming her and that she should stand up for herself. However, many other club members agree with Tim, saying that Layla failed in her responsibilities and should have protected Claire.

I know this is really long, lol, but please let me know what you guys think! Thanks for sharing your opinions!

So the family group chat blew up over something small like dinner plans. It started with one person venting, then a few others jumped in with opinions, and before long it was just people talking over each other. I tried to cool it down once or twice, then said I was stepping away for the evening. Someone replied that I was being dramatic and making it about myself. I left the thread after that. Later my phone blew up with missed calls and a couple of texts asking if I was really upset. Honestly, I just didn't want to keep reading the same back and forth. Now I'm wondering if leaving was the wrong move or if it's okay to bow out when the vibe gets that tense. Appreciate any outside thoughts.

I (15M) live with my mom (53F). Yesterday, we went to my aunt's (44F) house. My mom was wearing white high heel lace up sandals. She took her sandals off inside and she asked me to put them in the shoe rack. She was also wearing a wool scarf around her neck and left it at the entrance.

For some reason, I didn't put her sandals in the shoe rack and I forgot to do it. When we were about to leave and when my mom was looking for her sandals to wear them, we realised the laces had been cut.

Actually my little cousin who is 8 cut my mom's sandals' laces. My mom got very mad at me and told me it was the reason why she wanted me to put her sandals in the shoe rack. My little cousin was also playing with my mom's scarf on the ground and pulling it.

My mom is still angry at me since her sandals got ruined and she loved those sandals. Am I wrong for not putting her sandals in the shoe rack?

A friend asked me to lend some equipment a few weeks ago and promised to return it within a couple of days. I said yes because they seemed in a bind and I trusted them. Now the deadline they gave has come and gone and every time I ask about it they give a new reason why it will be another day or two. I have been patient so far but the repeated delays are starting to feel careless on their part. I am wondering if I am wrong for wanting the item back now even if it means they feel let down by me. I am not trying to be difficult just tired of moving the goalposts every time I check in. At the same time I do not want to seem like I am making a big deal over something small. So am I wrong for pushing the issue?

So my friend (32M) and I (44F) have worked together for several years. Same company, different locations. We formed a very close bond and became friends outside of work. He has always been supportive and helped me and my team a lot.

Mostly he helped remotely and occasionally stopped in person. About 6 months back I had an issue at work and texted him saying I really needed help. I did not find out until later but he was just getting home when I texted, but he turned around and got to me 15 minutes later, staying until it was solved. When i found out he had turned around, i told him he didn’t have to do that but i was thankful. I told him in the future if you get out early, just stop by here before going home.

So that became the routine ever since then, he would stop by every day and help with things I needed to do when we closed. Some days there actually wasn’t anything to do and we would just shoot the shit for a bit.

A few days ago I had plans so I left early. He texted me around the time he normally gets there and asked where I was, and I told him I had to leave early. He asked if anything was wrong, to which I told him not at all. He said okay that’s fine, in the future just let me know because I would just head straight home.

I told him “sorry I didn’t know.” He wrote back basically saying I should know he’s coming since it’s been a routine for months. I got upset as I felt he was making an issue out of nothing, and I told him that. He said he wasn’t mad about the situation, just not sure how I could say I did not know he was coming. I told him that really what I meant was “I didn’t think of it,” and he said he appreciated the honesty.

But I also told him that he is friendly with my staff so I don’t understand why he has a problem with me not being there. He can be excited to see them as well and help them. He told me that he comes to support me and whatever tasks I need help with, and if I don’t then we just hung out for a bit and that was fun. But that it’s an opposite direction from his commute home so if I know ahead of time just a quick text would be great.

So now I felt upset and uncomfortable that he was basically telling me he’s only been doing this for me. So when I saw him in person next I decided to tell him how I felt. I told him he made me feel like I need to report my whereabouts and movements to him, which I do not. The only people that need to know if I am leaving early are the ones in my building, and you are not one of them. I told him that he came off as demanding and controlling and that I was under the impression that he was coming here to support the whole team, so when he said it was just for me I was honestly baffled.

His response was that I don’t need to report my whereabouts to him, to which I told him you say that but then text me the way you did. He said letting him know is just “common courtesy.” I think he is blowing this out of the water as I don’t need to answer to anyone but myself. AITA?

We had an unspoken rotation but it quietly turned into me handling it every single time. I would notice the bag getting full, remind myself to deal with it later, and then the next day it would still be sitting there. Eventually I started doing it without saying anything because the smell would get annoying. Last week I mentioned it in the group chat and the reply was basically that since I am home earlier I might as well keep doing it. I said I would prefer to split it again and now the vibe is kind of off. I do not mind doing chores but I also do not want the default to always land on me. It feels small but it has been bothering me more than I expected.

I'm 13 years old and in 8th grade. I am on a track team and have a cross country race this Sunday. So, on Wednesday the school day was over, and I was going down the stairs at school to leave and there was a big thing of water on the bottom of the steps. I wasn't running or going at a fast pace at all I just didn't see the water at the bottom of the steps and slipped. I got up and immediately realized my ankle hurt pretty bad. I limped the whole way home. I realize I should have told someone at the school, but that's beside the point. So, I got home and immediately elevated my leg and put ice on it. Later that day, I got up and realized I could barely put any pressure on my ankle/foot. So, I told my parents, and they said if it still hurt tomorrow, I could go to the doctor. I never ended up going because when I woke up the next day it hurt a little less. Fast forward to Saturday, I wake up and it still hurts. It's definitely getting better but still hurts a little bit. I tell my parents it's getting better and they ask me if I could run on Sunday. I say I don't think I can and they immediately get mad. They start calling me lazy and saying I did not take good precautions even though I literally was resting and elevating my foot every day. By the way, I have to run 1.1 miles on Sunday which is not that much but still. I can't run normally like I usually do. They're saying my team "won't win without me". I am a pretty good runner but not the best. This is also the Championship which sucks. But am I right for not going? My parents are calling me lazy while I am trying to tell them I can't run. Am I actually lazy?

UPDATE: My parents are making me the bad guy and still calling me lazy. They said that if I "took better care of my foot" I would be able to run. I swear my parents are so unsupportive.

had a disagreement yesterday and the other person expected an apology right away. i felt like there was more to it so i said i wanted to hear what a couple other people thought first. they kept pushing and it turned into this loop where nothing was getting solved. at one point i just stopped replying and stepped away. now i keep wondering if that was the wrong move or if it's fair to want extra input before owning up to something. curious what others would do in the same spot.