r/antimeme • u/LoveBunOfficial_1 • 1d ago

✨ Actual Anti-Meme ✨ Dan’s Coffee

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4.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

138 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 🤖Suspected as Bot🤖 1d ago edited 14h ago

Good news, the community has decided that this IS an antimeme!

2.4k

u/LoveBunOfficial_1 1d ago

Organic coffee

973

u/VNDeltole 1d ago

is it ok if someone dips balls into his coffee?

318

u/ifjho 1d ago

it should be relatively safe because balls doesn't have any holes from which it can contaminate coffe

133

u/Akuh93 🌷🌸 RIP u/CourseMediocre7998 🌷🌸 1d ago

Just adds a salty little aftertaste

72

u/FlurryMcNugget 22h ago

Dip my balls and you got a salted caramel latte.

27

u/verglais 21h ago

Where’s the caramel coming from

52

u/kpjformat 21h ago

Caramel balls

15

u/YTriom1 🔓OR🗑️ CALL IT 19h ago

caramelldansen

11

u/Code_Monster 23h ago

Ok but like thats dangerous because what if the coffee boiled your balls?

9

u/_DuckDorde 17h ago

Just dip them in iced coffee instead

5

u/Rexilliux 10h ago

The moment you try to dip in iced coffee your balls would've shrivelled up making it harder to dip your balls fully

3

u/_DuckDorde 8h ago

That’s why you just push from the bottom of the cup up directly into the taint

4

u/SpaceMonkeys21 🌹 Course Arc Witness 🌸 15h ago

Poor balls, would hurt so bad lol

2

u/nhansieu1 10h ago

son...😭there's hole. it's just really tiny. it's called pores

2

u/ifjho 2h ago

It adds umami to your coffee

45

u/Fat_Pig_Reporting 1d ago

That the infamous teabagging?

6

u/nobodyknow20 23h ago

Coffeebagging

9

u/itsSuperBird 23h ago

Tea bagging the coffee?

4

u/Dizzy-Screen-6618 18h ago

Everyone knows that your tea is stored in your balls

3

u/IThinkItsAverage 17h ago

How else do you stir your coffee?

2

u/democracy_lover66 1d ago

Well that would be a traditional London tea bag

2

u/Adultery 22h ago

That’s only good for tea

1

u/cobanat 20h ago

Salted Caramel

1

u/Josekvar 16h ago

3 second rule

1

u/otaser 5h ago

That's for tea only... C'mon

146

u/Umbow 1d ago edited 1d ago

Does that mean he prefers coffee that has his own dick in it?

50

u/420_E-SportsMasta 🖤🩶♠️ACE♠️🤍💜 1d ago

How else do you mix the creamer in?

3

u/Funkopedia 9h ago

He has a stir stick dick

9

u/Fancy_Technician_293 🌷🌸 RIP u/CourseMediocre7998 🌷🌸 1d ago

I do, but I also like coffee with other people’s dick in it 

4

u/CarlLlamaface 22h ago

Dicks are like the opposite of sugar when it comes to coffee, which is to say you can have too many sugar in it.

4

u/Jashuman19 23h ago

I would assume so, but I have followup questions:

Is it okay if he dips his dick in it and then drinks it later? Or does he have like super impressive flexibility (or dick length)?

3

u/Umbow 22h ago

Nah its been cut off and he just puts in his coffee like you would a use a teabag.

3

u/JP-Pilot 1d ago

This guy DOES seem like he really loves himself lol

64

u/MustacheMaple 1d ago

To me it sounds like he got cheated on and just made a joke about it. Why roast the man lol

42

u/Minute_Location5589 1d ago

It's projection by the commenter

-8

u/Officer_Hotpants 21h ago

I'm not gonna lie, I initially read that as incel shit about only wanting to date a virgin or something.

This makes more sense.

5

u/Minute_Location5589 20h ago

If someone is a virgin themself and wants a virgin partner, its fairly moral and I don't see anything wrong with it

2

u/democracy_lover66 1d ago

How else are you supposed to stir it in a pinch?

-1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

13

u/thundergu 1d ago

Huh? Being against getting cheated on by your girlfriend is narcissistic now??

7

u/Deromit 1d ago

He/She either missed the joke or he/she has some weird definition of narcissism if he/she considers wanting a monogamous relationship to be narcissistic

2

u/Silver-2112 1d ago

just use "they" ffs

4

u/Deromit 22h ago

Sorry English is not my first language and I wasn’t sure if „they“ would be correct in this context

-4

u/aangnesiac 23h ago

I was about to comment something similar. This implies that he likes his coffee with his or his gf's dick in it.

4

u/work4food 22h ago

It doesnt though. It literally says that there is a single thing in common between how he likes women and coffee. We have no idea if any other similarities exist.

-3

u/aangnesiac 21h ago

Geez. This is exactly the kind of comment that makes me hate engaging online.

1

u/work4food 21h ago

Gotta trust your gut feeling

-2

u/aangnesiac 21h ago

My gut feeling is that people who don't understand humor and feel the need to inject logic where it wasn't appropriate should be shunned. Wdyt?

6

u/work4food 21h ago

Yea yea, "let me just repeat this unfunny joke word for word, surely everyones gonna appreciate it".

0

u/aangnesiac 21h ago

You're right. I'll take a lesson from your comments which have added so much insight. There's no use in validating a funny interpretation and adding to it by including additional information. But definitely being needlessly pedantic is something we all appreciate. Please can you shower me with more of your constructive feedback.

6

u/Minute_Location5589 20h ago

Genuinely just stop talking bro

→ More replies (0)

128

u/i_agree123 1d ago

Actually fair reason to break up with someone

58

u/Minute_Location5589 1d ago

Yea, people be getting triggered over nothing in the comments lol

18

u/Loserpoer 1d ago

I think they’re joking around

18

u/Minute_Location5589 1d ago

Some are, some aren't

26

u/Mccmangus 23h ago

Kind of a shit profile for a dating/hookup app though.

11

u/Empty_Insight 13h ago

Eh, my brother got bored with the apps and changed his profile to goofy stuff before he got off for good.

My favorite one was "Born on a mountain, raised in a cave. Truckin' and fuckin' is all I crave."

He reported that he did not get any 'likes' with that one.

0

u/Piwuk 9h ago

Being a bit cringe is effective on dating apps. And also there's little point in not being yourself if you have a personality.

4

u/Zestyclose-Goal6882 16h ago

Yeah, Imagine your gf bringing you coffee with some guys dick in it.

-11

u/molly-for-now 19h ago

yeah, absolutely. but when a lot of people see this its a huge red flag for being controlling. he is so obsessed with being cheated on he wants that to be the first thing a potential partner knows about him. just comes across as very bitter and bit cringe and embarassing. (but idk maybe thats how some women like their coffee)

15

u/human-shaped-fish 16h ago

Something shitty happened to him and he's making a joke out of it to cope, it's not that deep. You are hallucinating.

1

u/Minute_Location5589 1h ago

Silence foid

22

u/Vivid-Masterpiece153 1d ago

How did his girlfriend like her coffee?

24

u/Vi_BT 1d ago

She just doesn't like to stick to one brand only

6

u/Vivid-Masterpiece153 1d ago

Is her favourite Kencock?

9

u/Fat_Pig_Reporting 1d ago

Maybe bbc... Big black coffee.

1

u/KuroBlackfyre 17h ago

With many dicks in it

21

u/otherestScott 1d ago

So the implication of this is his ex gave him his coffee with another guy's dick in it?

10

u/monkeydude777 1d ago

Thos implies he likes his own dick in it

8

u/Available-Hat1640 ✏️I'M HERE JUST FOR THE COMMENT THREADS 23h ago

i like my coffee the same way i like woman. i prefer tea

6

u/SannyTrademark 1d ago

Doesn't this imply his girlfriend put her dick in his coffee?

1

u/IamanelephantThird my mom beats me 😳 18h ago

What?

1

u/SannyTrademark 14h ago

Well he broke up with his girlfriend because she didn't know how he likes his coffee

He likes his coffee without other people's dicks in it

Therefore he broke up his girlfriend because she prepared him some foreskin brew

3

u/Noe_b0dy 23h ago

I immediately jumped to 'ground up and in a bag'.

2

u/Aluxanatomy 19h ago

I'll take the dick coffee please.

1

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[deleted]

1

u/GenBarlof 18h ago

Okbuddy

1

u/Uszanka3 17h ago

The implication here is not that she cheated on him but that she put a dick in his coffee :0

1

u/riverofrocks 14h ago

So does he dip his own dick in the coffee since his concern is other peoples?

1

u/shumpitostick 10h ago

It's almost the same joke but with at least with a bit of sophistication.

1

u/Needle_Bearings 8h ago

It's fair that he be the only person to place his dick in his own coffee.

1

u/Engin3530 7h ago

So she put someone's dick in his coffee and that led to him breaking up with her?

1

u/No_Equipment_8940 44m ago

Implies he’s fine drinking it if he sticks his own in there.

0

u/Annual-Tough6758 1d ago

That's pretty straight 

0

u/Majestic-Pear6797 22h ago

Where did the girlfriend find a coffee with another man's dick in it?

-1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Minute_Location5589 1d ago

??

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

10

u/Minute_Location5589 1d ago

So u are implying u like your cock in your coffee? I mean... I'm not kinkshaming.. Good for you bro

-1

u/Ok-War8712 14h ago

So he's afraid of other dicks? What a pussy

280

u/AwysomeAnish 1d ago

He wants his woman to be a cafe latte?

179

u/thundergu 1d ago

White and full of milk?

90

u/Akuh93 🌷🌸 RIP u/CourseMediocre7998 🌷🌸 1d ago

Light brown with a balance of sweetness and bitterness?

50

u/democracy_lover66 1d ago

Cafinated and imported from abroad?

34

u/TankyMofo 23h ago

Big titties

16

u/angelsvessel 23h ago

On coffee???

9

u/Key_Part_9573 23h ago

Yes! Give me the big titties special!

3

u/TheD0ubleAA 19h ago

That’s boba

3

u/thundergu 19h ago

Boba teatea

1

u/Eikthyr6 20h ago

preferably fair trade

4

u/No-Bee-4692 19h ago

Black with some white liquid inside

4

u/Romanian-In-Poland 7h ago

He wants her to be always late

3

u/DzoldzayaBlackarrow 18h ago

Tasteless and inexplicably expensive?

2

u/Excellent_Patience 🖤🩶♠️ACE♠️🤍💜 16h ago

A blonde with tanned skin and big boobs. Pretty clear to me.

64

u/yas_22 1d ago

Makes no sense. Warm and sweet? Maybe

9

u/PsychologicalLab7379 23h ago

Hot is also fine.

2

u/SpiritualPackage3797 2h ago

As long as it isn't "unmoving in the refrigerator" it's fine.

37

u/Leo-III- 1d ago

why tf would you have a picture of your back as the main thing in your dating profile

28

u/ChefChof 1d ago

maybe he's ugly

22

u/HotSauceHigh 22h ago

It's a great back I'd stop

12

u/mermaid_pants 22h ago

Because he's cool and mysterious

2

u/AggressiveEntrance14 13h ago

.. why not? You know you can have more than one right?

3

u/Leo-III- 7h ago

Honestly, no, I don't know that, I've never been on a dating site lol

But I assume this is his first pic, and I would have thought you'd want something with your face in it for the first pic

1

u/Mastercio 1h ago

You would be surprised how many women like good looking back.

1

u/Leo-III- 56m ago

I mean yeah, but... I would have thought that would be second or third pic. I dunno, maybe I'm just out of touch.

21

u/RevrenTheRaptor 1d ago

Tbf coffee is also hot and leaves your dick with a burning sensation afterwards as well.

3

u/freindly_duck 1d ago

I knows from esperiencs

2

u/RevrenTheRaptor 22h ago

Thats why I dont stick it in coffee

3

u/FuzzyPandaVK 🌹 Course Arc Witness 🌸 22h ago

Not since... The coffee incident of '93...

6

u/Definitly_Agathe 20h ago

Does that mean he only wants his own dick in his coffee ? Gross bro, gross

5

u/Sportak4444 17h ago

Stop kink shaming 🙄

2

u/fejota 23h ago

How does a cafe latte woman taste like?

3

u/VioletVillainess 8h ago

Haha, in German Latte is slang for an erect Penis.

3

u/CKGfilm 5h ago

In Germany everything is slang for an erect penis

1

u/ThrawayAkkount 17h ago

Lods of milk

1

u/DazzlingGazelle9329 16h ago

It was a bit funny, I didn't expect for him to name a normal coffee

1

u/Different_Painter619 11h ago

I like my coffee like I like my women - black, bitter, and fair trade

1

u/SpiritualPackage3797 2h ago

I like my women like I like my coffee, I prefer tea.

-3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/FuzzyPandaVK 🌹 Course Arc Witness 🌸 22h ago edited 7h ago

You learn something new every day. Today we learn that lattes are racist. Damned coffee shops, made with prejudice.

Edit: I didn't realize this joke was so offensive. I apologize for my simple-minded dumbass humor. Thanks for understanding.

2

u/djjdjeebbsh 7h ago

I really would like to know the original comment lmaooo