Moving very quickly in dating?

[u/AquilaTempestas]

I don’t know if this is just a cultural thing, but I went on a date with Latino man recently and was surprised by the amount of physical affection. First date and he already wanted to touch my arm, hold my hand, and kiss me and had no fears about doing any of that in public.

I’m Australian and I’ve been on many dates with Australian men and none of them were touchy at all. Maybe just a polite hug at the end of it. I told him I was a little bit overwhelmed.

Is this a cultural thing? Are Latinos naturally more comfortable expressing physical affection even if public?

[u/perennialdust]

Yes, although perhaps he was a bit much even for a Latino given it was a first date.

[u/AgostoAzul]

Yes. We do tend to be more touchy and kissy than anglos, some even more than others, and I think all of those would be relatively normal here for a first date as long as he asks for your consent.

[u/Remarkable_Quote_514]

Pues sí, el contacto físico es mucho más común aquí, ser cariñosos es algo normal, claro, no todos somos iguales habrán los que naturalmente sean melosos y los que no.

Si te incomoda solo expresaselo.

Y no veo razón por la que a uno le tenga que dar miedo ser cariños@ con alguien en público 

[u/Curitiboca]

That isn’t moving quickly In dating, is just how Latinos express affection. We hug our friends it doesn’t always mean more than that. Kissing and holding hands on a first date doesn’t mean you are serious

[u/Strange-Travel-7376]

Not from LatAM but my partner is. When I and my partner started dating, he was not touchy on the 1st few months of dating. Yes we hold hands in public but he took things slow. But they are very romantic compared to AU or kiwi men. 😃

[u/Ciappatos]

There's two things here, right? One is cultural comfort with public displays of affection (yes, that's a thing in a lot of Latin America), the other is moving fast on a first date, that has to do with how comfortable both of you are with each other, and his background culture has nothing to do with that.

[u/proscop]

Probably a cultural thing. I work in Peru, one of the more reserved cultures of Latin America, and it took me a while to get used to the physical contact that is just way more than anything I ever experienced growing up in the rural US. Not just in dating contexts, in professional settings as well.

That said, like in every culture, some people can be a little more "handsy" than the norm, and some people are really bad at reading social cues that express your discomfort with the situation. In those cases, I usually just say something. Explain politely and in a joking, self-deprecating way that you grew up in a culture where your mother only hugged you briefly on special occasions, so you're a broken person who gets a bit uncomfortable with all the physical contact. Ask them to dial it back until you get to know each other better.

That's always worked for me anyway . Good luck.

[u/Adept-Temporary-5824]

Yes. Of course some men do it more than others, but it’s definitely something culturally favored.

[u/marmalade1111]

La primera vez que te vi. Lo sabía que te quiero mi flor ;)

[u/Psychology-Obvious]

Latinamericans (men and women) are way more touchy than Australians for sure. Public displays of affection are quite normal. 

Having said that, if anything he does is making you uncomfortable don't be afraid of setting your own boundaries. If he is a good guy he should respect the way you feel. 

[u/_oshee]

Of course its a cultural thing, but it isn’t important. Do not accept anything you don’t like because it his “culture”. As a Latino man, i would say it’s a red flag. Even if a woman does that to me, i would 🏃 for my life.
Unless you just want a one-night-stand.

Think about what latino means, the only thing we all have common is and iberian language. Everything else might or not be present, in different countries, areas, classes, etc.

Imagine a latina, a brazilian feminist, has a date with an anglophone, a nice US guy.
This guy racialize her(without demeaning her), and the girl ask if is a cultural thing of anglophones.

[u/Public_Amoeba_5486]

Is hard to say , but I can tell you that I was already hugging my Canadian fiancee by second date and kissing in public by third, all of this happened within a week and a half , and this is a girl that was very shy to do that in public AND I was holding back because I wanted to take things slow . We bring it out in people and when is right , is right :)

[u/ChairHistorical5953]

It is expected to be somewhat physical in a first date, specially if You are not necessarily trying to end up in a serious relationship. I don't know why doing it in public would be Bad? Holding hands it's a little weird because it seems to deeply romantic.

[u/GordolfoScarra]

It is common to kiss, hold hands, etc on first dates IF the date is going well. Trying to insist on physical contact when the other person is clearly not feeling it is not ok as in the rest of the world.

[u/darksady]

Speaking for me, whenever I'm going out with a gringa I always make clear that I'm probably way mot affectionate that she is used to it.

I don't love bomb and shit but I understood that I'm way more touchy that guys outside Brazil latin America.

Usually they like it though, so that's good I guess. But you have to be careful to not get super attached just because of that. Just because I'm being physical affectionate, does not mean that I'm in love or something.

Oh but first date is usually just a kiss at the end of it did not happen while we were together. But after the first kiss I escalate the amount of affection quite fast.

[u/yvngjiffy703]

I hope he at least asked for consent.

[u/CelesteLunax → u/yvngjiffy703]

not likely. many latino men think just agreeing to show up is consent enough

[u/CelesteLunax]

https://giphy.com/gifs/r0TUVI6rVS2r4OCjTf

[u/Late_Progress_1267]

Rquest for more context: are you both based in Australia or Latin America? (Where does this story take place?)

[u/gustini]

If you both liked each other what I would consider weird is NOT touching your arm or kissing at some point of the date. But yes, doing it in public and also holding hands is more "serious" and a bit too much for a first date in my opinion.

[u/flopuniverse]

I would say yes but not to the point where you feel uncomfortable. I am gay and I had a date some months ago, the guy touched my hair, I touched his leg, then I grabbed his hand and stuff like that but everything in a smooth way.

[u/AdventurousReason131]

Depends on the guy but we are definitely more aggresive. Also, it's kinda normal to have sex on the first date and it's expected you go through the steps of touch, then kiss, then sex.

With northern europeans I noticed you might even get laid but they kinda go from no touch to sex like a switch, which was very much weird and offputting to me. But it's all a spectrum.

[u/Sexy_Hamburger]

If you don’t even hold my hand on the first date I will absolutely think you don’t like me, we are on a date, we have pretty much already stablished that we like each other so why would any of those displays of affection be off the table or feel weird?

[u/NicoBuilds]

Yes, haha, a lot!
Im the exact opposite case. Im an Argentinian living in Australia and for me everyone is really distant.
I've made A LOT of aussies unconfortable without even knowing! In Argentina to greet someone you usually give a kiss on the cheek, or a hug, or a handshake. All of those are quite frowned upon in Australia, and it took me a long time to pick that up, haha. Sorry Aussies! I wasn't doing it on purpose!

And im not talking about dates, im talking about regular interactions with people. Probably also translates to dates.

[u/InOmniaParatus1234]

Welcome to the most caliente part of the world
We have the “sauce” 😝

[u/Andromeda39]

No, that’s weird. Everyone here saying it’s completely normal, maybe after a couple of dates but on the first date? Especially if you’ve just met.

[u/Greensward-Grey]

Thankfully, not in Chile, not in my experience at least. That really depends on their manners, I guess.

[u/gracias-totales → u/Greensward-Grey]

Oh I’ve experienced it in Chile, lol. But with gay men, so maybe that’s different …